Chapter 12: Kick-Off

August 24, 1980

After church, and then lunch, Angie and I took off for the library for our first study group meeting. As the nominal leader, I was trying to get there early. We’d had little time to talk about last night, and we opted not to on the way. My mind kept going back to Candice and how surreal this all was.

Along with that, the part I couldn’t discuss with Angie: this didn’t feel like a reason to get a second chance. I was loving it, but why would God, or the universe, or fate, or whatever send me back just to give me a happier life? There was no one I could ask, and I was trying to resign myself to never knowing. That’s not something I’m very good at, though. And whether or not I knew why, I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity.

We rode up to the library about 15 minutes early. Judging from the bike rack, we were the first to arrive. I went in and straight to the desk. Ms. Meadows was there, as always. Before, she was just ‘old’ to me. Not ‘ancient’, but ‘old’. Now, I’d put her in her fifties, and attractive, if I’d been my fifty-five-year-old self, anyway. She was very short and had a friendly smile.

“Ms. Meadows? We’re starting a study group today. Will we be able to use the meeting room?”

She considered. “I don’t see why not, as long as you behave yourself and clean up. No one’s using it today. I’ll go unlock it.”

I gave her a big smile. “Thanks, Ms. Meadows! We’ll try to be quiet anyway, but I really didn’t want to disturb the other patrons.”

“No problem. I’m glad to see you helping your friends with their studies.”

“Don’t tell them that!” I laughed. “We’re all helping each other. I really need the help in Spanish, and for some of the others it’ll be good to go over things.”

“¿No hablas bien español?”

I shook my head. “Muy mal. Muy, muy mal.”

She laughed. “Took me years. It’s a good skill to have around here, though. I’ll go get the room open. You kids have fun.” Much as I hated Spanish, she was right. It was a really good skill to have, with the ever-growing Hispanic population. Maybe I’d actually learn enough for it to be useful this time.

She headed off towards the meeting room, and I went back outside, where Angie was waiting for the others.

“We got the meeting room.”

“Yes! Much better.”

Dan arrived just then. I’d guessed he might be one of the first to get here. He locked his bike and came over, looking just slightly unsure. Angie settled that by hugging him and giving him a quick kiss. He gave her a big smile. I’m sure he was wondering if last night was a one-off thing. I’d been pretty sure the answer was no, and of course I already knew Candice was in for another week.

Candice was — no surprise either — the second to arrive. The surprise was in the greeting. Before even locking her bike, she tackled me into a hug and kissed me like it was her last chance. Behind us, Angie laughed. “Hey! You two! Get a room!”

That got Candice giggling, which broke the kiss. “Well, excuse me if I wanted to greet my boyfriend.” Boyfriend? I guess so. I wasn’t completely sure either of us were ready for these roles. But — even without saying it — I’d been pretty sure about that after last night. Saying it, though, was a big step. And it gave me only a few options: acknowledge it, return it, reject it, or pretend it didn’t happen. Rejecting it was out for obvious reasons — I’d go from boyfriend to scum in seconds. There wasn’t a good way to just acknowledge it, and I couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen.

“Well, hello, my girlfriend.” Megawatt smile. Part of me was saying, ‘You know you might break each other’s hearts, right?’ I figured that was more likely than not. We were both fourteen, and while I had a lot of secret maturity to draw on, I also had fourteen-year-old hormones and thoughts, and she didn’t even have the edge I had. But wasn’t that the point of dating now? So I wouldn’t marry the first woman who’d put up with me? So I could make my early, fumbling relationship mistakes at fourteen, not twice that age?

And, of course, while that part of me was being a pessimist, the rest of me was thrilled. Girlfriend! Cute girlfriend! Not just in high school, but as a freshman! I knew very well where this might lead, and quite a lot of me wanted to get there, and fast.

The others turned up soon after. Jimmy arrived, looking a bit uncertain. Connie cured that by taking his hand as soon as she arrived. The relationship between Emily, Mark, and Morty was a bit less clear, and so far it seemed like everyone else was at the ‘just friends’ stage.

We trooped into the library, and I gave Ms. Meadows a wave on the way back to the study room. We closed the door, dragged the tables and chairs where we wanted them, and got our books out.

“OK, so, how are we doing this?” Dan said.

“I dunno?” I said. “Maybe we just say, ‘who wants to work on such-and-so’, and then try to shift every ... mmm, dunno. Half-hour or so? Hour? Like, I want to work on Spanish, because I’m bad at it, but I don’t want to spend all day on it, because that would be awful but also because I can help other people in other things.” That got a laugh. Everyone knew my struggles with Spanish.

We divided up and got going. Angie, Morty, Dan, Emily, and I were all in the same Spanish class, and Morty and Mel were studying it, too, so we drilled each other until we couldn’t take any more. We all switched around and worked through most of our classes. I liked helping Candice with a few things in Geometry and Biology. Angie couldn’t resist the setup: “I’m sure you’d just love to study biology with Steve, Candice,” she grinned. That got a lot of laughter from everyone.

By the end of this first meeting, I’d been about to say ‘We should Google that’ about twenty times. Yeah, no. We couldn’t do that, not for thirty years. We could go out, look for a book (using a card catalog!), and hope they had the right book. That was about it. Not that we didn’t have books full of answers — that’s what textbooks are — but sometimes textbooks are wrong, or the answers are unclear, or you want more information.

We lost track of time and were all deep in our work when Ms. Meadows knocked at the door. “It’s almost 5pm, kids. We’re closing, and I’m sure your parents want you home.”

“Yes, Ms. Meadows, we’ll pack up right now,” I said. “We need to go, anyway. We wouldn’t want our parents deciding this was a bad idea before we even really got started.”

Everyone pitched in and we had the room clean, tables and chairs straightened in just a few minutes. We all went out, couples holding hands - which I know Ms. Meadows noticed — and got ready to go. Angie caught my eye and gestured toward the park. Connie was already on her way over with Jimmy.

Candice caught the look, followed Angie’s gesture, then looked at me with a grin. “C’mon, boyfriend,” she giggled. I wasn’t about to say no.

We wound up on a bench. It wasn’t that comfortable, but who cared with Candice plastered against me? We were careful to not let things get too far. The park had no real seclusion, and the police frowned on using it as a teenage make-out spot. So we only did a little making out and smooching.