Chapter 4

Saturday Morning, 11:47AM – I’m Leaking Brain Lubricant

“Alright, I’ll give it my best shot just for you, Prez.”

She sighed again, this time in clear exasperation.

“I think first it might be helpful to understand my Class a bit. You know my Class is [Conversationalist], yes?”

“So I’ve heard. {What an apt Class.}”

“It’s a great Class, the one I dreamed of having for a long time. The way that it works is simple: I rank up based on the satisfaction of people I converse with.”

“You ... talk your way into leveling up?”

“Hah, good one, Prez. That’s basically true. Whenever I talk to someone and have a conversation that helps them out, it helps me out. For example, I had an important chat with a friend of mine last night who was hurting, and I managed to clear up her worries—or so I thought. I wasn’t sure how successful I’d been, but I ranked up, so I assume it helped.”

“Alright, I guess that makes sense for the Class. {This seems like a total joke compared to my Class.}”

“And this Skill—the one I used on you Monday—it’s helpful for having deep conversations. What’s the worst thing that happens when you’re talking to someone, Prez?”

“Um ... they get upset?” she said.

“And why would they get upset?”

“Because I say something they don’t want to hear? {Because I don’t always sugar-coat things?}”

“Hm. Maybe it’s different for you. I find that the reason people get upset in a conversation is when a misunderstanding occurs. You could see how a misunderstanding might be upsetting, right Prez?”

“Will...” her voice was dangerously low.

“This Skill is great for preventing misunderstandings. Because it makes it impossible to misunderstand me.”

“How?”

“I don’t know how, it’s a Class thing. If you want to talk about the specifics of that then we can, because I’ve read some books—”

“No, I meant how can it be impossible to misunderstand you? That ... doesn’t make sense.”

“A misunderstanding is when someone interprets the intent of words as being different than the intent with which they were spoken. Does that sound right to you?”

“I guess. {Ugh, you sound like Dr. Sutton.}”

“My Skill makes it so that if I say something that I believe to be true, the other person will know that I believe it to be true.”

“Err ... what?”

“I’m really enjoying this conversation. And I think your voice is sexy.”

“What. {What the fuck?}”

“Did you believe me?”

“What. {What the fuck?}”

“I thought it would be easier to understand with a demonstration, so I picked two simple statements, one of which I thought you wouldn’t believe. So, do you believe me? Honestly, now.”

“No, why would you enjoy being interrogated like this? {Who would enjoy this?}And this voice isn’t sexy, it’s just my normal voice.”

Will pushed at his words. “I’m really enjoying this conversation. And I think your voice is sexy.”

“Whoa, what the fuck! I said not to use your fucking Skill! {Oh fuck, what did you do to me?!}”

“Sorry, Prez, but I figured it was faster this way.”

“Ergh. What kind of pervert are you that you’re enjoying this?”

“Enjoying what? Talking to a pretty girl who has a sexy voice while laying on a bed?”

“Oh. {I guess that makes sense.}Wait, the second time you used it on me...” she started, then stopped.

“Yes?”

“You said you wanted me. {You really wanted me?}” she said in a small voice.

“I did.”

“And it made me...” she trailed off again.

“Funny how being unsure of the other person’s interest can get in the way of arousal, isn’t it, Prez?”

She grumbled. “So that’s why you had me say that weird line yesterday at the FCF, too. {And why you fucking punched me.} You used your Skill on the examiner. {You had to actually see it.}”

“Yeah, more or less, though I’m still a little mad I couldn’t think of a better plan. I had to use it on the receptionist to get into the building by saying that we were in a relationship and that you were in trouble. Then I described what you did, and the state you were in, and how you named me as your proxy to the examiner. Had to use it twice on him to get it to stick, but he put it into the system and registered it.”

“That’s ... an incredibly powerful Skill. {I’ve never heard of a Skill like that!}What the fuck, Will? Why do you have something like that while I’m stuck with... this. {That’s so unfair!}”

I forgot that her Class was [Onahole] for a while there. That ... does seem pretty rough even without knowing the details. And I don’t really want to be responsible for whatever she’s dealing with, even if I do feel bad about this week...

“Life’s not fair sometimes, Prez. But if it makes you feel any better, I’ve wished for my Class with every fiber of my being since I was about fifteen. I didn’t know if a Class like this existed, but I wanted it more than anything in the world.”

She went silent again, and it lasted longer than any of the previous times. At one point he thought he heard sniffling.

Ah, shit. I should get up and give her a hug or something, but then she’d get more upset because I saw her. May as well keep laying here...

“Thanks again for yesterday, Will.” she said at last, her voice quiet. “I really don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t show up. I think ... I think my life would’ve been over. Ay spent a lot of time convincing me that I could make it work, but looking back, I just can’t...” She sniffled.

“Happy to help, Prez,” Will replied earnestly. “Especially considering the thanks you gave me.”

“You really seemed to enjoy that, huh?” she said, a tremor entering her voice. “So now I’m another notch on your bedpost, I guess? {Could you maybe not tell everyone?}How long until the whole school is talking about it? {I don’t want the whole school talking about it.}”

“Ah, Prez, don’t be like that. I’m not going to make it a thing, I promise. Just think of all your fans who would camp out here with their pitchforks and torches.”

She snorted. “Did you ... use your Skill when you said that?”

“No, why?”

“Oh. Just wondering. {Because I believed you.}”

“Okay.”

“Hey, Will?”

“Yeah, Prez?”

“Can I, um, I feel like laying on the bed. {I want to be closer to you.}So move over. {Make some space for me.}And no touching! {No touching yet!}”

I feel like this is starting to get weird. “Er, sure thing, Prez.” Will said, scooting over towards the side of the bed, but still laying on his back. He felt an impact on the bed near his left foot, and it moved closer to the pillows. He saw her coming out of the corner of his eye before he closed them, knee walking her way up the mattress.

She settled her head on the pillow that he wasn’t using, facing away from him.

What the ... why am I getting hard from this? You okay down there, buddy? Ah, shit, I think she traumatized me yesterday.

“Will,” she said after a few minutes, her voice faint. “on—on the Will White scale, how was it? {Was it good?}”

“Uh ... how was what, Prez”

“Y’know. How ... How was I? {Did you really like having sex with me?}When we...”

Oh. Ohhhh. “Prez, you get full marks. Top of the class. Literally.”

“Really?” she asked.

“You’ve ruined me for other women, Prez,” he joked.

“No, I’m serious. {Don’t tease me!}Use your Skill, I need to know. {I need to be absolutely sure.}This is important, Will. {It’s for my Class.}”

This is going to be two down, only one left... “Alright, relax. Ready?”

“Mmhmm”

He pushed. “Prez, sex with you was the best I’ve ever had. It was the best on Monday, and then it was the best again on Friday.”