No one wants that call. The Godparent call. So many things have gone wrong if it comes to that.

Clarice was lost to cancer a couple of years ago. Her parents were both lost to her when she was much younger. I’m pretty sure it was a plane crash.

Rodney is not coming home from Syria. Not alive. Sorry, officially he’s not coming home from Iraq. Just got that word today. This morning. From Edna. She was a mess. Rodney and his family were all she had left. Rodney had eked an education out of a bad situation and a worse neighborhood, seeing one older brother killed in a gang shootout and the other doing life for a botched armed robbery.

Rodney’s mother Edna was going to an assisted living home, lucid, but physically incapable of handling the needs of a fifteen-year-old girl.

Fifteen years and a couple weeks ago, I stood next to him, looking into the nursery at the hospital. “Chuck, you’re gonna be there, right? I mean you’ll stand up with us at the Christening, won’t you?”

“Sure, Rodney, but what do you mean?”

“Be her Godfather. Her Godparent. In case something happens to Clarice and me. You know, raise her the way she needs to be brought up. A real home. Real love. Not what I was brought up around. What we’re going to do our best to give her. Can you do that for me? You’re the closest friend I’ve ever had. Just promise me if we come up short you’ll finish the job?” Of course, I said I would. Could’ve gone unsaid.

Funny thing. We met in a classroom at Washington University in St. Louis. Both engineering students. Seems like twenty-some years ago. I guess it was close to that, come to think of it. We had worked on a couple of projects together in class and got to know each other. He needed a place to study, and I lived a block from the campus, so it worked out that he’d stop by and crack the books before he went home to his mother. He could study there at home, but the ambiance was off, what with people that wanted to be his ‘friend’ trying to get him involved with extracurricular activities, and drugs, and at least a couple girls trying to catch him in a baby daddy way. He wasn’t interested. He wanted out, and the only safe way he knew was to study his way out.

My parents were paying for my education, and even bought the house, as an investment, for me to live in while I was in school. My game plan was to get my degree in electronics, do a stint in the military, and take over from Dad as the CEO of Connelly Enterprises, something my grandfather had passed to my father about ten years ago. All I had to do was study hard and then stay alive.

His high school counselor found something in him and groomed him for an Armed Forces Engineering Scholarship, then landed it for him. All he had to do was study hard, get an engineering degree, either mechanical or civil, and give them back six years. Major Thomas gave them sixteen. When we had our degrees in hand, his finally settled into mechanical, and mine in electronics, we went in together. OTS, Air Force, then got roped into being Forward Air Controllers2. Fun, fun. Off and on, we were stationed together during twelve of those sixteen years. A couple of butter bar lieutenants trying to keep above the fray, then as first looies, working for a living, then as Captains running field ops.

I did it for twelve years, then Dad got sick and I bailed from a life I loved to help out at home. Trust me, I didn’t want to. I hated leaving. Resigning my commission would have been as bad as cutting my wrists, fingers to elbow. I loved the Air Force and I knew I was making a difference. I left it to Rodney to keep it going. BUT I checked into the possibility of staying on part time, and got a lead on an assignment to the Kentucky National Guard, the 123rd STS, so I could at least keep my hands dirty. Still pending, but we’d see. Biggest problem was if we deployed. I had a pretty good-sized tech firm to take care of. I’d probably not pursue it, and cry all night long when I made the decision not to join the guard.

A couple years of corporate life later, I was feeling pretty good about being a civilian, but the earth shook when my Godchild called me, and asked if she could talk. She called before, but never to ask if she could talk. She just talked. I don’t think she ever asked me permission for anything. She just did whatever, and it was OK with me. If she wanted to hold my hand she did. Take me for a walk, we went. Needed to be in my lap, up she came. Board game? She got it out and we played. Now she asked if we could talk. The earth was still jittering a little when I answered her.

“Of course, Mel, I’m always here for you. You OK, Hon?” She was thirteen at this point, and very self-sufficient. The few times I’d been at their place in the last year or so, she had helped with meals and all kinds of activities. She was going to make someone a great companion.

“No, Chuck, Mom’s got cancer. Bad. Dad’s here at home, now, but we don’t know how long we have. You might want to give them a call. I know they’d love to hear from you. I’d like to see you, too, if there’s any way you could break free and come visit.” Her sniffles were driving me nuts. No thirteen-year-old should have to face this. NO ONE should have to face this. At all.

“I’ll be there tomorrow, sweetheart. I’ll move a couple meetings and I’ll be there in the morning. Wait, is there room for me there, or should I get a room? Maybe I’ll come down tonight.”

“Please, Chuck, you can stay in the guest room, Mom’s cousin is here, but she can have my room and I’ll sleep on the couch. Please come tonight. Please?”

“OK, sweetheart, I’ll be there in a couple hours. I need to pack and make some calls. It’s just before 5:15 there?”

“Yeah. Is that too late?”

“No, sweet pea. I learned how to fly in the dark, but it won’t even be dark when I get there. I’ll be at your house around seven-thirty or eight. Tell your Mom and Dad, OK?”

“Yes, Chuck. Thank you. I love you. I can’t wait to see you.”

“I love you too, sweetness. I’ll be right there. Bye.” I thumbed my phone off, closed some files I was working on with my computer, grabbed my jacket and my crash bag and made the trip to the airport.

I called the field crew at the airport and asked them to back it out for me, as I had to head for Pensacola in a hurry to visit a friend stationed at Hurlburt. They were a couple of old Air Force ground guys that our FBO company found, thankfully, looking for work. Really good people. It’s quite a hike from my house way northwest of the city, but I got there, and it was out. A quick flight plan filing, a preflight and clearance and I was off to Florida. I texted Rodney on the sat phone letting him know that I was on the way and I’d be landing at PNS, Pensacola International, about seven fifteen or so then at his place before eight. I asked if they needed anything, thinking I could pick up food or something, but he said no, they didn’t need anything, and just to come on in.

Five hundred and twenty nautical miles with a 5-knot tailing crosswind, I could take it easy and make it in an hour or so. Add some time for departure and approach and my six o’clock wheels up and seven fifteen arrival looked pretty good. A call to Innisfree Jet Center at my destination set up a rental car that should help me be able to make the half hour drive to Rodney and Clarice’s house, getting in before eight. If not, it’s not like anyone was timing me.

At their house, Melissa met me at the door. She gave me THE Hug, arms around my neck, then a somewhat emotional kiss, on the lips. Not uncommon for us, but not usually with that much ... Melissa in them. Anyway, she took me inside where I found Rodney and Clarice in the family room. I hugged Rodney. It’s hard to do. I’m normal sized. Six one, two hundred. He’s big. I turned to Clarice. So small, so frail, so fragile looking. Why? Six months ago, she was the picture of health, well, except for the small part. She’s a little, tiny, half French, half Irish, thing, five two and a hundred five pounds soaking wet, on a good day. This obviously wasn’t one of those. She was looking like ninety, maybe. And losing muscle tone. God, what have you done to this beautiful woman?

They explained the situation, and the prognosis. Nothing could be done. Mayo, Cancer Centers, Siteman, no one could help. It was found a year too late in someone that normally wouldn’t have been checked more frequently for another few years. It’s like it started the second after her last pap smear then grew like hell on steroids. It had at least one full year to do its damage, and it had. She was holding her daughter when she told me she only had a month or so, and it was going to be ugly starting in a couple weeks. Of course, I asked them if there was anything I could do, and they both simply said, “No, not now, but remember who Melissa’s Godfather is.” Cousin Lisa was not going to be able to help long term. Rodney’s Mom was coming down for a while but wouldn’t be there until week after next. I looked at them funny, but they told me it wasn’t a matter of flying or money, but a medical thing. Oh, silly me. I couldn’t fix that, I guess.

We stayed up late, drinking a couple shots of Rodney’s finest Canadian. I felt them wanting to get Clarice to bed for some rest, so I bowed out to the kitchen after begging a sandwich. Melissa followed me and helped me gather some fixings, then proceeded to feed me.

“I’m scared, Chuck. Really scared.” She came and sat in my lap in the kitchen chair.

“I wish I could help you with this, Mel, but I don’t think I can. Your Grandma will be here though, and she’ll stay with you and help out. You’re pretty much low maintenance, so I know you’ll be OK.”

“What about if Dad has to leave again? I know what he does, Chuck. I know what you used to do. It’s not like being an architect. It’s dangerous. You know I know that.” She tucked into my neck and cried.

I just pulled her to me and hugged her. “Yes, that’s true. It is. But he’ll do it anyway, because that’s who he is. He won’t be leaving for a while, though. Quite some time, actually. With your mom this sick, they won’t ask him to leave now. He’ll be doing plans and such, but no travelling. But, if he has to leave for a day or two, Grandma will be here.”

“What about you?”

“Me? I can’t stay, Hon. I have a company to run and all. I’d love to help out, and if you want to come stay with me for a while this summer, you can, but I can’t hang out here. Not that I wouldn’t do that for you, but that’s not what you need.”

“Yes, it is.” I could barely hear her, but I did.

“Melissa, look at me. You’re a strong lady. You’re going to be OK. I promise. You need to be with your mother. You have your father and your grandmother. You’ll have me when you really need me, but for right now, please be strong and help them through this. When all the world feels like it’s caving in, something will happen to prove that life goes on. I promise.”

“OK. Finish your dinner and I’ll take you up to bed,” she told me. I finished my sandwich and glass of water, then she took me up to the guest room, reminded me where the bathroom was, kissed me softly, holding my cheeks in her hands, and told me she’d see me in the morning.

“Goodnight, sweet pea.”

“Goodnight, my love,” I barely heard as she walked away.

A thirteen-year-old girl, caught in the turmoil of a terminally ill and soon dying mother and a military father. I’ve known for a year or so, if we were all together, and Grandma wasn’t there, Melissa was the most mature person in the room. Her not so little innuendos tonight just proved to drive the point home. Geez, I hoped she’d be OK through this.

I stayed the day with them, then left the next morning. I had planned to bring Grandma Edna down if they wanted help, but she had that lined up and Clarice and Rodney were picking up the tab. OK, I backed off a little.

A few weeks later, I got the call I was dreading. It was mid-morning. “Chuck, can you come down for the funeral? Mom died this morning in the hospital. Please come see me. Please?”

“I will, honey. I’ll be there tonight. See you in a little while. Tell your dad I’m on the way. I love you, Melissa.”

“OK, I love you, too, Chuck.” Click.

I showed up a little later this time. The house was a somber place. Rodney was sitting at the kitchen table staring into a plate. I just put my hand on his shoulder. Edna looked at me. Melissa squeezed my hand, and wouldn’t let go. “You hungry?” Edna asked.

“Not right now. Thanks, Edna. I’m not going to be silly and ask how everyone’s doing. I already know that. You’re doing shitty. Sorry, sweet pea. I will tell you though, a month from now, Rodney, you’ll be able to eat without trying to throw up. A month after that, you’ll know what you’re eating, and another month after that, you’ll actually be able to enjoy eating something you like. In the meantime, is there anything I can do? I’d like to help in some way, if I can make a difference.”

“No, Chuck, not now. Just don’t forget the little girl.” He looked up at his daughter and hugged her to him, both of them bawling their eyes out. Even Edna got pulled into it, wiping her tears with a napkin. I rubbed on both of their backs. Rodney’s and Melissa’s, ‘til they calmed, and Melissa hugged and kissed me, then went upstairs to get ready for bed.

The funeral was a beautiful devotional to a beautiful woman. Clarice was truly one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met. An air brush wasn’t needed on her pictures. The only reason that anyone can explain their relationship and marriage was that Rodney was one of the most amazing, honest, trustworthy, caring, good men I had ever met, and he wasn’t chopped liver in the looks department either. He was a little, no, a lot, bigger than her, but they made it work. She really was a model, and they met when she was working in a mall in Pensacola, some fifteen years ago while we were in training. An odd couple to say the least. He was six-four, two forty or two fifty, and she was five-two and a couple pounds over a hundred. He was a light skinned black man and she was a not only white, but porcelain white, being half French and half Irish, little girl. Her hair was a beautiful dark red. Auburn is probably the right name for it. Even in five-inch heels, she looked straight up at him with her princess smile while he looked straight down, lost in her eyes. It was amazing to watch. Her friends said he never had a chance, but I don’t think he wanted one. Those same friends were an endless string of dates for me, but I never did find one I wanted to keep. I would cherish memories of Clarice, though.

Funeral over, I headed back to Missouri, assuring both the father and the daughter, and of course, Grandma, that I was available, at a moment’s notice, should I need to fill in as ... The Godfather. Things got back to normal, and I’d fly down for a weekend to be with them every couple of months. Once I got them all rounded up and took us all to Disneyland in California for a couple of days. That went over pretty well. Melissa sat with me in the cockpit asking extremely intelligent questions about flying and why I had the Cessna Citation X+ instead of something that cost about a fifth as much.

“Hon, remember when you called and said your mom was sick, and could I come down?”

“Yeah. You were there in a couple hours. It would have been a day or two in a commercial plane and hours and hours in a prop, right?”

“Right. Plus, believe it or not, this plane almost flies itself, and it has a potty!” She giggled at that. I love the sound of Melissa’s giggles, and they had been few and far between since they found her mother was ill. “When are you turning fifteen, sweetie?”

“A couple months. Looking like boarding school, though, next year. Grandma’s having problems getting around, and Dad can’t play GI Joe and Daddy both. He’s actually got something coming up, but he can’t talk about it. It’s in the sandbox somewhere, but that’s about as much as we’re getting from him.”

“Do you want to come up for the summer or something? We could give Grandma a break, and your Dad wouldn’t have to worry so much for a while.”

“Chuck, I would love that. Mid May, I turn fifteen. School is out late May. I’ll talk to Dad and see what he thinks. But first, let’s go to Disneyland!”

We had fun. Grandma didn’t care for the flight there or home, but she did like using the electric scooter in the park, and Rodney, Melissa, and I had as much fun as we were allowed by park rules.

When we got back, Rodney approached me about my offer to take Melissa to St. Louis with me. “Are you sure that would work, Chuck? I mean, you do work and all still, right?”

“Yes, Rodney. A lot of work is from home, and I travel a bit, but she’d be good company. It would help her too, I’m sure. We only live twenty miles out of town, and there’s plenty to do. I might even turn her into an engineer. How would that be? Huh?” He smiled, shrugged, and nodded. “Hey, I heard you’re taking off for a jaunt. Your paperwork is all straight, right?”

“Yeah. Looks like Momma will be headed to a physical therapy thing this summer while you have Melissa in Missouri. Hopefully they can get her back to par before school starts back up. I’m hoping anyway. If she could lose a few pounds and get her knees working better, it’ll be easier on her being here. Melissa does most of the housework and cooking anyway. She’s a Godsend. A dream child, I’ll tell you that. Look, Chuck, just remember, if anything happens...” I interrupted him.

“Don’t, Rodney. Don’t ask for trouble. I’m here. You know that. Where is the little fart, anyway? I need a kiss goodbye. MELISSA?!?!”

“Coming, Chuck! You’re leaving already?”

“Yeah, sweetie. Your Dad was just finalizing a price for me to rent you out as cheap labor for the summer. I think I’m coming out pretty good on the deal.”

“Sounds good. You do have a dishwasher, though, right?”

“You might want to go look in a mirror for that one.” She slapped my arm. “You’ve never been to my new place, have you?” She shook her head. “Yes, honey, it has one. You’ll like the place, I think. I hope so, anyway. I had it built with me in mind, but I’m sure it’ll appeal to you as well.”

She walked me to the door, Rodney and Edna stayed in the kitchen. “Call me when you get home, so I know you’re OK? Please?” She kissed me on the lips again, this one even more loving than the last. It had been a while, but it was reminiscent of the kisses when she was losing her mother.

I put my arm around her waist, just to judge her reaction. She melted into me. I told her I would, then kissed her nose. “I love you, Melissa. I’ll call you from the plane when I’m in the air and when I get to the house.” I lightly touched her lips with mine, got a moan that I shouldn’t have gotten, then turned and walked to the rental car, waving and getting a little finger wave back. I think someone was in love.

That brings us back to where we were. It was the end of May. Edna called. Melissa wasn’t home from school yet, but the Casualty Officer stopped by and left the bad news. Major Thomas was killed in action in Iraq. The details were sketchy, but they would provide more very soon.

Edna explained that school would get out for good, tomorrow, and asked if I could come down early, possibly today. She didn’t want to be so bold as to think I could do that, but she thought it would help if I was there when Melissa found out. Between the tears she talked about not being able to care for Melissa and wanting her to have a good life with me. It’s all Rodney talked about. Making sure she was well taken care of.

Once again, I called the field and had them back the plane out. I was off to Pensacola on another emergency. I really wanted to be there when she got home from school. Flight plan, preflight, clearance, and off I went. This time, I didn’t take it easy. I was on the ground an hour later, getting as close to the speed of sound as you can get in a private airplane.

But I made it, and when my Sweet Pea came in through the door to the kitchen and saw me, then her Grandma crying, she knew, and kissed her Grandma, said she was sorry, then crawled into my lap while holding Edna’s hand, and just cried her eyes out. We didn’t move for over an hour. Then Edna got something out of the freezer to heat up for dinner.

“Baby, do you want me to take you in and clear you out of school tomorrow?” I asked, knowing we’d have to. She wouldn’t be back.

She nodded. “Yes, Chuck, I think that would be best. Do you know where I’ll be going to school next year?”

“Yeah. Grandfield. We’ll look it up in a bit. I’ll call them in the morning, as well.”

“Oh, GOD, WHY!!!” she screamed, and started crying uncontrollably, frightening Edna. She waddled over to us and put her hands on Melissa’s face.

“Look up. Look at me, child. Chuck told you two years ago. Something would happen to prove to you that life will go on. Remember you told me he said that?” Melissa nodded. “He’s here to take you home and start a new life. Many don’t get that opportunity. Most don’t. You do. Make the most of it. Make your momma and your daddy proud, girl. Make them proud. Be somebody. You come from good blood, girl. Learn and do. Oh, darling girl, I wish I could be there with you to go through this. You need to run. I can’t even walk. I’ve got a place here, though. Your daddy set it up for me. I’ll be OK. You come see me now and again, OK?”

“I love you, Grandma.”

“I know, child. I know.”

I called a friend and got the lowdown skinny on the botched operation and what went down. It was in Syria and they were found by a Non-Syrian tank squadron. That’s what he called it. Non-Syrian. Rodney called in one last air strike and took out six of them. They were firing on civilians as well as Rodney and his backup when the strike came. Quite messy, but he died proving that very bad people are doing very bad things in a very bad place. Someday, I’d tell Melissa how big of a hero her father was.

That night, I slept in the guest room. Edna stayed in Rodney’s room downstairs. I was done in the bathroom and saw Melissa’s light on. Hearing sniffling, I knocked.

“Come in,” she said

I entered, sat on her bed, and reached out for her arm. I rubbed it, just trying to soothe her. She reached out with her other hand and put it on mine. “Thank you, Chuck. Thank you for always being here when I need you.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Always. You gonna be OK?” She nodded. I leaned over, kissed her cheek, petted her head, then left, turning the light out and going to the guest room. Sleep came quickly and soundly. Until the bed moved at about two in the morning. She just climbed next to me, backed in, pulled my arm around her and said. “Hold me, love. Please, just hold me.” I did, and we went back to sleep.

Up in the morning, I was alone. I threw on some jeans and a tee shirt, hair a mess, and went to the kitchen. Coffee sounded really good. I didn’t realize it was only five in the morning. I made a pot, as I had done in the past in that house. Melissa padded down the stairs and over to me, hugging me to her and looking up for a kiss. She got one.

Edna came in and sat down. Melissa went back up to the bathroom. “You take care of her, Chuck. You be careful with her, too. You know she’s in love with you. Always has been from what I understand. Even Rodney’s Reecey told me that. Clarice knew. So did my Rodney. They approved. Love her, Chuck. She needs you. She’ll make you a happy man.” My jaw dropped. “Don’t let her see you confused like that. She’s a woman. She’ll take advantage.” Then Edna laughed and sat down. And cried. I made her some coffee and toast. “Take care of our baby, Chuck.”

“I will, Edna. I will. I promise.”

We took off for school, Melissa pointing the way. Big school, not in the housing area. This housing was detached from the main base, anyway. In the office we explained the situation, and the outcome. I told them that the base legal department could answer any questions and provide them paperwork as soon as it was processed. I gave them the name and number of the Casualty Officer and the number for the Base Legal Office. Legal had copies of the will that Edna showed me from Rodney’s papers. They could answer any questions, then I gave them the information to send Melissa’s records to Grandfield Schools. The principal did call both numbers, just to make sure I wasn’t kidnapping anyone, and got the answers they needed. So off we went, back to her house to pack her things. We didn’t really have much of a limit, so she packed everything she wanted to take with her and set it all by the door. About a car full. Glad I rented an SUV for this trip. Nice coincidence.

The last evening there went well, as well as it could, anyway. A few bouts of tears. Edna was telling us about the place she was headed to. Physical therapy and a close eye on her ‘conditions’. I had dinner delivered so no one had to cook and we could clean up easy. That night, same arrangements, but no pretense was made. After Edna was in bed in Rodney’s room, which was downstairs, Melissa came to me, climbed in and backed into me again. “Kiss me this time, then hold me, Love. Just hold me. That’s all I need, Chuck. For now. Just hold me. Thank you.” I kissed her and wrapped her up in a snuggle. We were asleep in seconds.

Melissa woke me with a kiss in the morning. “Let’s make sure Grandma doesn’t need anything before we leave. The home is sending a van for her and her things. She should be all ready to go.” After much hugging, whispering, and many kisses, Edna was loaded into the van, and we packed the car with Melissa’s clothes and keepsakes. The smiles during the whispering frightened me more than a little. Any time two women whisper and smile, something is cooking, and it may be to a man’s demise.

Base personnel took care of the house and belongings, turning everything of any general use over to a base charity and packing up the small personal things and sending them to St. Louis for later delivery to our house. I paid a contractor service to clean the house, guaranteeing it would pass inspection.

What little Edna had was disposed of a couple years earlier when she moved to Florida to help care for Melissa, just before Clarice’s death. She had no intention of returning to St. Louis. Her sister had died just prior to her leaving and she had more bad memories there than good. Rodney’s brother wouldn’t be leaving Potosi any time soon, so she decided to stay in Florida and enjoy the weather.

Melissa hugged me as we stood there looking at the house. They’d only been there a few years, and it wasn’t theirs, but belonged to the Air Force. Just another nice house in just another nice military housing area. She wasn’t attached to it, but said she’d miss some friends. Having their phone numbers and addresses would help them stay in touch.

We got to the plane, barely able to see out the windows of the rental car, but once we got everything loaded, it wasn’t that bad at all. It was a little chaotic looking, incongruous at best. There we were in a nice executive jet, with plastic trash bags and mismatched suitcases strewn about. We used a cargo net over the couch and seat belts to secure everything. Some even made it into the luggage compartment.

“I hope this is all OK, Chuck. I kept and still have most of Mom’s nice clothes. She had such a sense of style. Another inch, and I’ll be the same size as her. I can’t wait to show you some of them. You remember that green shiny dress she wore to the anniversary party you came down for?” I nodded. “I kept it. And the shoes. I kept most of her shoes. At least the conservative ones. She was a shoe hound. Some of them were a little gaudy for me, but she got most of the gaudy ones free when she did those photo ad shoots for that shoe store way back. Anyway, I’ll get my things sorted and maybe we’ll have a fashion show?”

That piqued my interest. I’d love to see Melissa dressed to the nines. With her mother’s good looks and wardrobe to build on, that was going to be quite a show.

“It’s all fine, sweetheart. You’ll have plenty of room at the house. Just wait ‘til you see it.” She walked with me on the preflight while our flight plan was being processed, then we boarded and climbed into the cockpit. “Melissa, sweetie, would you like to learn to fly?” She was looking around the cockpit and at the screens, like she was really trying to work it all out in her mind. What everything did, what the numbers meant.

“Oh, gee, yes, Chuck. I’d like that so much.”

“Good. I want you to have a couple hobbies, and this is one that will serve you well. Over the next few years, I’m going to make it a priority to make sure you can. OK?” She beamed at me.

We got our clearance and took off for home. I took it easy flying north, dodging a couple thunderheads, and letting her actually steer the plane. Most of the time the autopilot was employed, but I disengaged it for a few minutes so she could actually feel what it was like to control it. Getting the OK from Memphis ATC, I let her take it up a little and then down where we belonged. With just a little instruction, she could turn the plane, keeping altitude. Once you can do that, the rest is just math and muscle memory. As I let the system take back over, I knew I had another pilot in the house.