Chapter 7

The thunder roared and the rain poured from the sky as the storm battered in full force against the tiny house. Inside, Samuel erected a temporary screen using a blanket. Using water heated in a tin bucket over the fire, Samuel and his family took turns to retreat behind the screen and wash themselves in a small tub. Even Hope got a bath with Ezekiel and Charity working together to wash the wriggling child. They also fed Hope a small quantity of smooth corn mash they prepared for her.

By the time everyone was clean, the stew was ready. The family stood around the table and gave thanks to God for blessing them with food and shelter. They sat and ate the stew and bread. While they ate, Samuel and Ezekiel described the ford and the likely delay before they could cross it. Prudence and Charity described the visit by Patience and Felicity, though they kept to themselves their feelings about Patience’s nature.

After they had finished eating, Samuel tapped the table with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“There is a question in my mind that has been troubling me,” he said. “I am not sure if I fully understand what is happening with Constance. It was my understanding that Constance would put on the seeming of a man so that none would know that my son had sacrificed himself in place of Constance back at the village. As such, it is necessary for Constance to give the seeming of Ezekiel when we are before others. Yet here we are, alone in this house and unlikely to be disturbed, and still I see Ezekiel sitting before me.”

Ezekiel nodded. “I understand your confusion, Father, for I am also confused. When we began our journey, I felt like Constance disguised as Ezekiel. But as our journey progressed, more and more I have felt like two people. I am now both Constance and Ezekiel. I move between one and the other by the simple act of changing my clothes. It is a strangeness. In this instant, I am Ezekiel, your second son of that name, husband to Charity. In this instant, Constance is like a dream to me, a memory of another time and place. I am still Constance but I am changed, much like I changed when I went from maiden to married woman. I know I once was that Constance but I am no longer her. Tonight, I shall remove these clothes and don a nightgown. At that time, I will be Constance again, widow of my brother Ezekiel and sister-wife of Charity. It will be that second Ezekiel who will then be the memory. I cannot explain it more. God’s path for me is a mystery.”

Samuel grunted. “I must confess, I have enjoyed having a second son with me to work with and to teach. My first son tried hard, but he was never...”

Samuel stopped and sighed. “But then God opened my eyes and I know now that he was always Grace. She was a daughter trying so hard to be the son I never had. Yet nobody could doubt that she was born with the body of a man. God truly works in mysterious ways.”

Samuel was silent for a moment, staring down at the table. But the family could see that he had not finished speaking so they waited quietly for him to continue.

“But with Constance, I never sensed any strangeness. As a child, and as a youngling, and as a married woman, she was always a daughter. At least, she seemed so to me. But then, naturally, I spent less time with Constance. Perhaps Prudence saw something that I did not.”

Samuel looked at Prudence with the question in his eyes. Prudence shook her head.

“I saw no strangeness in Constance. Ezekiel’s strangeness was clear to all, though we knew not the reason for it. I also saw from an early age that Charity’s path would be a difficult one. I must confess to being troubled by some aspects of the path Charity has begun to follow over the last few days, but I am not surprised to see her act so and I am pleased that she has finally begun to find joy in her life.

Prudence smiled warmly at Charity, who returned the smile.

“But Constance reminded me very much of myself as a child, as a youngling, as a maiden, and as a married woman. I saw nothing that would suggest this change in Constance.”

Ezekiel shrugged. “I felt nothing in myself. The best I can explain it is that until three days ago, I had never left the village and I was content where I was. But in the last few days I have seen so much more of the world and I am elated by the breadth of God’s Creation. In the same way, I was content as maiden and then a married woman. But now I have learned that there is more within me. There is a breadth in my nature that I had never before suspected.”

“I confess, I do not understand it, still,” said Samuel. “It seems to go against all that I have known to be proper. But I concede Grace taught me that my knowledge of what is proper was incomplete. So I will not stand in the way of this second Ezekiel.”

Ezekiel put his hand on the slight bulge in his belly. “There will soon come a time when I must put Ezekiel aside. The babe within me will grow too large to conceal. When that happens, I must show only Constance to the world for certainly a pregnant man would be a strangeness none could ignore. For that reason, when we are further from our old home, and before we get too close to wherever we are likely to settle, I must put aside Ezekiel so that the people of our new village will only know Constance.”

A look of sadness crossed Charity’s face for she had come to like having this second Ezekiel with her, but she kept her silence on that matter.

Samuel grunted and nodded. “So be it.”

There was quiet for a moment, and then Charity stirred.

“Father, there is another matter I would raise with you,” said Charity.

Samuel grunted and nodded.

Charity started to speak, but then closed her mouth and looked nervously around the table.

Ezekiel, his hand hidden under the table, reached over and clasped Charity’s hand. He smiled at her and nodded encouragement.

“I would have a child of mine own,” said Charity.

Samuel shrugged, unimpressed. “It is the duty of a woman to bear children.”

“Yes, it is!” replied Charity. “And it is the duty of a husband to lie with a woman that she may bear children. And when a husband dies, that duty falls on the man who takes her in.”

Samuel frowned. “I do not follow!”

“I am the widow of Ezekiel. And before God and the creatures of the fields as witnesses, you took me into your house. Now I ask you to fulfill your duty as that man and lie with me that I may bear a child.”

“But you are my daughter!” exclaimed Samuel. “It goes against God for a man to lie with his daughter!”

“Father, I ceased to be your daughter when you gave me to Ezekiel as wife. Now I am merely his widow and your daughter-in-law.”

“Do you ask me to take you as a second-wife?”

“No, Father. I am content with my current state as the widow of one Ezekiel and the wife of another. I merely ask you to do your duty as my father-in-law who has taken me in after the death of your son. Lie with me that I may fulfill my duty as a woman and bear a child.”

Samuel scowled. “These sound like lawyer words. They are not worthy of one who has been taught as you have been taught. In the final judgment, God will not be interested in lawyer words. God is only interested in what is in your heart. Speak your heart to me.”

Charity looked down at the table for a moment to gather her thoughts. Then she lifted her head and looked directly at her father.

“On the night I wed to Ezekiel, I pledged I would bear him children that he may fulfill his duty as a son and give you children unto the next generation. Through my love for Ezekiel, I would honor that pledge.”

Samuel grunted. “And to do so, you ask me to go against God and sleep with my daughter.”

Charity sighed. “I ask you to recall the story of Lot. He escaped with his two daughters when God took retribution against the city of Sodom. His daughters, knowing they were the last of their house, lay with their father and got children from him that their house may continue. In a way, our flight from the village is similar to that of Lot. We are the last of our house and I would get a child so that our house may continue.”

“Our stories are not exactly the same,” put in Ezekiel. “For we are fortunate our mother did not fall into the temptation to look back and so did not get turned into a pillar of salt.”

“Fortunate indeed,” replied Prudence with a smile.

“But the story of Lot tells us that God is not completely opposed to the idea of a man lying with his daughters in particular circumstances,” continued Ezekiel. “And, as you said to Noah, these are particular circumstances. I would lie with her myself if I could consummate our union and give her a child. But I cannot and therefore I beseech you to do so on my behalf.”

Samuel stared at Charity, his face impassive but it was clear that he was thinking deeply behind that mask. Charity held her breath while she waited for a reply.

Samuel stood abruptly.

“It is late. Come, Prudence, it is time we went to bed. I shall leave the two of you to bank the fire and so forth.”

Samuel waited for Prudence to stand and join him, then he picked up a lantern and escorted Prudence into the back room and firmly closed the door behind him.

There was silence in the main room as Ezekiel and Charity absorbed the sudden end to the discussion.

After a moment of thought, Ezekiel shrugged. “He did not say no. You may take some comfort from that.”

“Perhaps I ask too much of Father,” said Charity. “It does go against everything he has been taught.”

“Perhaps. And perhaps you need only be patient so that he may decide in his own time.”

Charity sighed and shook her head. They were quiet again for a time.

Ezekiel stood. “Here, help me unbind my chest and don a nightgown. We must feed Hope before we go to bed. Would you like to do once more that thing Mother showed us so you may feed Hope from your own breasts?”

Charity smiled. “Indeed! That would please me, greatly.”

Charity held Hope to her breast and watched with large eyes as Hope suckled. She almost shuddered at the love she felt for this child who was becoming a daughter to her. The process of squeezing milk from Constance’s breasts and feeding it to Hope at Charity’s teats took a lot longer than the normal way, but neither woman begrudged the extra time and effort. It was a joy to them both and they shared the time with delight.

They fed Hope, changed her diapers and tucked her into her basket. Then they banked the fire and climbed onto the bed platform.

Charity embraced Constance and kissed her. Then she began tugging at her sister’s nightgown.

“What are you doing?” asked Constance.

“I am taking this off of you, that is what I am doing,” replied Charity.

“But then I would be entirely naked!” exclaimed Constance.

“Indeed! I would have you entirely naked. And when you are so, I shall also remove my nightgown and be entirely naked as well. Then we shall lie together beneath the blankets and embrace, for I would feel your skin against my skin.”

Constance gasped. She blushed and ducked her head. But she did not resist Charity’s efforts to remove her nightgown.

Shortly they nestled together beneath the blankets. They kissed again and then tenderly ran their hands over each other.

Constance gasped again, but this time in delight. “I never dreamed...” she whispered. “It feels so ... Oh! Charity!”

“Now,” whispered Charity. “Are you so certain you cannot consummate our union?”

Constance chuckled. “Quite certain.”

“I am not convinced,” said Charity. “Won’t you at least make the effort? Perhaps God will be kind and grant us a small miracle.”

Constance chuckled again. “Charity, my sweet sister-wife. Have you no end to your outrageousness? Why should God grant such a miracle?”

“Who are we to question God’s Will?” asked Charity. “If we do not make the attempt, we will not know if He has favored us. God expects His people to work. He expects the fisherman to throw their nets before God provides them with fish. He expects farmers to till their fields before God provides them with crops. If they do not work, He does not provide the miracle of food. In the same way, God expects a husband to lie with his wife and a wife to lie with her husband. If they do not, He does not provide the miracle of life. So lie with me, my husband. Lie with me the way a man should lie with his wife and perhaps God will reward us with a miracle.”

Constance sighed. “Until this moment we have kissed and touched to show our tenderness and affection. I do not know what else we can do for despite all lofty words, we are both women.”

“Kissing and touching seems like a good place to begin. Let us do that some more and then explore. Perhaps together we will discover new ways to show our tenderness and affection.”

With that, Charity pulled Constance into her embrace and they kissed soundly. They went on to discover more that could be done when two women lay together. Their experimentation provoked new sensations and revealed both the passion and the deep love between them. They spent the time together in wonder and delight.

God blessed them with strong feelings, but He did not grant any miracles that night and their union did not result in Charity becoming with child. But it was not for want of any effort by either Charity or Constance.

In the meantime, within the back room, Samuel was lying on his back and staring sightlessly into the darkness above him. Prudence lay on her side next to him and waited in silence.

Eventually, Samuel sighed and spoke.

“Well? What do you think I should do?”

“In this, I cannot direct you,” replied Prudence. “I will stand by you and support whatever you decide.”

“I find myself having a crisis of ... something,” said Samuel. “It is not a crisis of faith for God still holds His place in my heart. Perhaps, it is a crisis of learning. So much that I was taught now seems irrelevant. This began with Ezekiel. He showed me that there are other ways to fulfill our duties than the way that I was taught. Now I question everything.”

“And yet, the first thing we are taught is to seek our own truth in the Bible,” said Prudence. “We are not Papists who rely on what they hear from their priests for everything they know. We are Reformists. As children, we listen to our elders and take their words without question for a child knows no better. But we are adults now. You are an elder in your own right! Listen to God and follow the path He sets out for you.”

Samuel grunted. “I ask God for guidance and the only reply I hear is that God is watching me. If I Sin, He will turn his eyes away from me. Surely it is a Sin for a man to lie with his daughter.”

“Yet Charity is no longer your daughter. She is a married woman, the widowed wife of your son. You took her in and gave her your protection. In law, she is now your woman, not your daughter. There would be no Sin in this. The Bible tells us that if a man dies and has no son, then the kinsman shall go unto the wife and do the kinsman’s office to her that the man’s house should continue.”

Samuel grunted and stared upward in silence for a moment.

“In effect, she asks to be my second-wife, in everything but name. How do you feel about this?”

Prudence was quiet for a time. Then she sighed.

“It is a source of great shame for me that I bore you so few children, and of those, only three survived to adulthood. A son and two daughters, and not a one of them following the path we expected for them. With the loss of Ezekiel, your direct line is ended. I have failed in my duty as a wife.”

Samuel shook his head. “Do not speak so. I have not the words to express my pride in Ezekiel. His sacrifice exceeded all expectations for a son to his father and for a brother to his sisters. If my line is to end with him then I am content. Ezekiel has surely won the greatest victory for I am certain he stands now with God in Heaven and no man could ask for more from his son. I will not hear you talk of shame in the same sentence as you speak of Ezekiel.”

“Nevertheless,” replied Prudence. “I still feel great shame for my failure. You asked how I felt, and I answered. Charity offers a way to continue your house into the next generation. A night away from your bed is a small price for me to pay so that my failure may be redeemed.”

Samuel swallowed a chuckle. “You and I both know that it will take more than one night before we can be sure she has taken with child. And I see Charity’s heart very clearly. She will not settle for one child. If I agree to one, she will come back asking for more. And where Charity leads, Constance will follow. It is in both their natures to act thus. They will not be satisfied until we cannot cross the floor of our house without wading hip-deep through younglings.”