Chapter 4

“Come now,” said Samuel with a sad sigh. He handed Hope to his new son, Ezekiel, and ushered his family inside. “We have much to do if we are to leave in the morning. Through the sacrifice of our daughter Grace and through the Grace of God we have been given a chance to save ourselves. We must not waste this opportunity. We must defer our grief until another time.”

Later in the night, Samuel and Charity harnessed their horse into the wagon and led it through the darkness up to the hill. As they walked beside the head of the horse, Samuel spoke quietly to Charity.

“I need to speak to you words that you may find surprising. But they need to be said, and I need to say them before this night is done. Please understand, they come from the love I hold for you as well as the duty I owe to you as your father.”

“I am listening, Father. What would you say to me?”

“It has always been known among us that our ways are not for everyone. From time to time a few who have grown amongst us have found their nature not suited to living as we live. Such few have either stayed and been tormented by our rules or they have spoken out against us and been whipped or even hung for blasphemy or they have left us and gone to make their own path in the world.”

“What are you saying, Father?”

“I am saying that you may be such a one. I could not bear to lose another daughter to the mob should you fail to live within our rules. Tonight, God opened my eyes that I might see Grace in her true form. Those same opened eyes saw you standing beside your sisters. Your light shines so brightly that it surely cannot be bound and held inside the way we keep our light inside us. I fear that if you try to bind yourself tightly as is our way, then you will end up in despair and lose God from your heart.”

Charity listened carefully and thought about her father’s words.

“Perhaps it is our way that is too tight not just for some but for most. Did not everybody in the village lose God from their hearts this night? Maybe some, such as yourself, can bear the pain better than others but I cannot imagine anybody living as we do without feeling a pain in the soul.”

“My daughter, with those words I am assured that I have seen you truly. Your nature is not suited to living as we do. To live as I do is not a burden to me, yet it is clearly burdensome to you.”

“Father, are you telling me that once we are safely away from this cursed place, that I must leave you and go my own way?”

Samuel was quiet for a moment as he gathered his thoughts.

“No. I am not saying you must leave us. I am saying that if you feel the desire to separate from us, and find your own path, then you may do so with my blessing. I only ask that you walk with God in your heart, wheresoever that path may lead you.”

“Then I will stay with you. I have a duty to my husband that I intend to fulfill. Perhaps I do need to find my own way. But, with your permission, I will do so while walking amongst my family.”

“It would gladden my heart if that is your choice. But if you do stay with us then you must restrain yourself, particularly when in the view of strangers. I would not have you treated as Grace has been treated should any mob decide you are unnatural.”

Charity nodded. “I think I can find a path that avoids offending too many. But you said to restrain myself before strangers. Does that mean I may truly be myself when within the bosom of my family?”

Samuel smiled. “I beg you go easy on me. You have already set aside some few of our rules this evening and I don’t know that my heart can take much more. While you live in my house, you will...”

He shuddered and walked for a moment in silence.

Then Samuel sighed.

“Do what you must, my daughter. Remember that we love you and do not wish you to despair. Hold God in your heart and think of others before you act. If you do those two things, then we will find a way to live together. Perhaps I will learn something from watching you on your journey. God has already taught me many new things, this night. I pray that I am not too old to learn more.”

“Thank you, Father. I feel a weight lifting from my shoulders as we speak. Let us talk more of this tomorrow. But for now, we have another task and I would honor my sister and my husband by putting aside my own concerns.”

They walked in silence as they led the horse the last few yards up the hill to where the ancient tree stood.

Charity guided the horse until the wagon stood directly under the branch of the tree from which her sister still hung in the darkness. Samuel stood on the back of the wagon and cut down the body of his eldest daughter. For a moment, he held her in his arms and sobbed. Then he laid her down in the back of the wagon.

They swapped places and Charity stood on the wagon while she carefully wrote a short message onto the tree using a brush dipped in ink. Her father patiently held a lantern for her while she wrote. Once that was done, Samuel led the horse and cart quietly back down the hill and back to their house.

In the back of the wagon, as they rolled down the track, Charity carefully laid her sister out and arranged her clothing so that it lay neatly around her. She took a damp cloth that she had brought with her in a dish and carefully wiped clean her sister’s face, neck and hands.

When Charity was finally done, she lay down next to the body of her sister, who once was her beloved brother, and wept.

The lanterns burned long into the night in Samuel’s house.

In the morning, the neighbors were not surprised to see the wagon already packed high with furniture and belongings. They watched silently from a distance as Samuel and the remainder of his family haltered their cow and tied it by a lead rope to the back of the wagon. Then they climbed aboard the wagon. Samuel took up the reins and flicked the horse into action. Their audience stood still and silent as the wagon, with the cow plodding steadily after it, slowly made its way down the track and then turned left and away from the village.

Some few of those watching noticed that Ezekiel’s movements were a little less than manly but those who did simply turned their heads and looked away. After all, they had often observed that the boy was strange.

Soon after turning out of sight of the village, Noah stepped out into the path of the wagon. Samuel grunted and pulled back on the reins until the horse and wagon rumbled to a halt.

Prudence sat silently beside her husband. She had Hope sitting on her lap, playing with a string of baubles held firmly in Prudence’s hand. She looked at Noah with sad eyes but did not say a word.

“What would you have of us, Noah?” asked Samuel. “As you can see, we are leaving. We are not in the mood for idle conversation for we have buried one of our daughters this morning. Stand aside and let us leave in peace.”

“Your daughter, Charity, is promised to me,” said Noah. “With your family in disgrace, she is no longer so worthy. Perhaps if you double the dowry you promised, I shall consider taking her off your hands.”

Noah peered at the wagon, but Charity and Ezekiel sat at the back behind the pile of furniture and were hidden from his view.

Samuel grunted again. “Trying to bargain like this is unworthy of you, Noah. Have you fallen so far?”

Noah did not reply but he stood firm in front of the cart with his arms folded.

Prudence said nothing but stared long and hard at Noah, her gaze seeming to pierce through to his very soul.

“I saw you in the crowd last night, Noah, son of Mattiah,” said Samuel in a calm voice. “I heard your voice shouting for my daughter’s life. Even if you prostrate yourself before me in supplication and pay me all the wealth in your family, nay, if you pay me all the wealth in this entire village, I still would not place my other daughter within your reach.”

“I pay you?” Noah scoffed. “I prostrate myself before you? No self-respecting man would do such a thing.”

Samuel grunted. “Over the last day and night, I have been thinking long and deeply about what it is to be a man. God has led me to question what a man may or may not do and still remain a man. I have found that my learning has been incomplete on this subject. Now, I know that, if God showed me the need, I could gladly prostrate myself before the lowest of the low and yet I would still remain a man. It appears that you would not do the same. What limit would you place on the sacrifices a man may make yet still remain a man?”

Noah shifted nervously. Prudence’s silent gaze was even more unsettling than Samuel’s comments.

“Hand over Charity to me. You must do so or be foresworn,” said Noah. “Charity is promised to me. Perhaps I will be generous and accept only that nicely carved table you have on the cart in addition to the dowry you promised me.”

Samuel shook his head. “I made that table myself and it is precious to me in its own way. But nothing is more precious to me than my daughters and you will not get even a hair off Charity’s head from me. As for the promises, it is too late for that. Your duty as Charity’s Promised was to stand with her family in their time of need. Your duty as Charity’s Promised was to stand as a man of God before wickedness. You failed in both of those duties last night and so the promise is broken. And now Charity has married another and because of that, she is beyond your grasp. This pleases me, for today you have shown that you are even so lost to the sins of Greed and Pride. Now stand aside and let us be on our way.”

“Married another?” exclaimed Noah in surprise. “Whom did she marry? And when?”

“She married my son, Ezekiel, last night in a proper hand fasting. It was done before God and witnesses. She is married and beyond your grasp.”

“Charity and Ezekiel? But they are brother and sister?”

Samuel shrugged. “It is not common, but it has happened before in particular circumstances. And these are particular circumstances.”

Noah shook his head. “Ezekiel! There is something wrong with that boy. I would be ashamed if he were my son.”

Samuel stared at Noah for a long time and then softly replied.

“Then you would be a fool, and doubly so. Ezekiel is more of a man than you shall ever be. I pray God grants me the courage he has shown. When he stands for judgment before God at the end of days, Ezekiel shall not be found wanting. I cannot guarantee the same for you.”

Samuel sighed and shook his head.

“Look into your heart, Noah, son of Mattiah. Do you find God there? I think you are lost and I shall pray for your soul. You were a party to murder last night for the woman you hung was innocent. She was more innocent than you could possibly imagine. No member of my family was responsible for the death of Symeon. At no time was Constance unfaithful to her husband. Yet you named her whore and clamored for her death and stood to watch it happen because you chose to believe the lies and the rumors instead of listening to God. You are stained with the Evil of that act. I pray you find God again, Noah, for you were once a good man.”

Noah could not meet Samuel’s gaze and dropped his eyes to the ground.

Prudence then leaned forward and spoke in a clear voice.

“I pray you find God again, Noah, son of Mattiah. But the only way back to God is through His Grace and last night you all destroyed the only Grace in this cursed place. May God have mercy on your soul.”

“Amen!” said Samuel.

With that, Samuel whipped the reins and his horse lurched into action. Noah quickly scrambled out of the way.

As the wagon passed, Charity and Ezekiel came into his view. They were sitting at the back of the wagon and had been hidden until that moment.

As Noah came into view, Charity flung her arms around Ezekiel and kissed him passionately, pushing him flat until he was all but hidden beneath her body and her long dress. Ezekiel appeared to simply lie there. Noah thought that a proper man would have chastised her for behaving so wantonly in public instead of simply lying there and allowing his wife to do that to him.

Noah watched, half in envy and half in disgust, as the wagon rolled away from him. He knew Charity was behaving this way deliberately to taunt him, but he was still appalled. Eventually he shook his head and turned away.

“Perhaps it is well I am rid of her,” he muttered to himself. “If she behaves in such a brazen way, she could never have made a decent wife to a Godly man such as me.”

With that he walked away without looking back.

Charity continued her passionate kiss until they were over a rise and well out of Noah’s sight. Then she stopped and sat up. She looked around carefully to ensure they were not observed. Then she looked down at her husband/sister and giggled at the expression on her face. Ezekiel was blushing so brightly that she was surely close to bursting into flames and her eyes showed her confusion at the intensity of Charity’s actions.

“It was important that Noah not look too closely at your face,” said Charity with a giggle. “It came to me that in this way I could hide your face yet still leave him in no doubt that Ezekiel was here with us.”

Ezekiel did not reply. She touched her fingers lightly to her lips and looked up at Charity with confusion still in her eyes.

“Sit up, my dear husband,” said Charity. “I have something to speak about.”

Ezekiel did not show any sign of moving, so Charity kept talking.

“Father spoke to me last night. He told me that last night he had seen my light and knew that I would not be bound the way our people bind their light within them. He said that I should seek a path that is not the same as the one we have been taught to follow. I confess to being relieved for I was feeling despair about nearly every aspect of my life. My love for you and for our brother/sister and for our parents felt blessed by God. The rest of my life and my path into the future was barren and tasted of naught but ashes. Our brother was not the only one who felt a wrongness within him but perhaps I hid it better than he did. Now, in the midst of this sadness, I feel myself coming alive for the first time. It is as if Grace’s sacrifice has set me free. I mourn for her loss, but I cannot help but feel full of joy!”

Charity caught a glimpse of someone standing in the field off to one side and quickly dived down to cover her husband with her body. She fastened her lips to Ezekiel’s and kissed her again. Once more letting loose all the passion she felt within her. After a moment, she popped her head up to look and giggled.

“My mistake, dear husband. It was a cow!”

“I do not think,” protested Ezekiel, “that you need to kiss me so soundly every time a person is sighted in the distance. My appearance should be sufficient from a distance. It is only when someone is very close, as Noah was, that we must be more careful.”

Charity giggled again. “But Ezekiel and Charity are newly wedded. How else should they behave but show their passion for each other at every opportunity? Our husband instructed us to show these faces to the world and to show the world that we are newlyweds. It is my duty to obey. Besides, I do not know why, but I find I am gaining much pleasure from embracing you. It is a strangeness as, despite your clothes, I know you for a woman, and more, I know you for my sister. Yet this subterfuge permits me to behave in this manner towards you and I find that it awakens a passion within me. I do not know how this can be. Perhaps this is a part of the new path that Father encouraged me to seek out.”

“I worry that it is yet another Sin with which we stain our souls,” replied Ezekiel from where she lay flat on her back. “But I still feel God’s love in my heart and I cannot deny that I am also pleased by our embraces. Your kisses and tender touches have affected me more than Symeon’s ever did.”

“Some may call this a Sin but that is nothing to what they would say about the act I intend to commit once we are in a safe place,” said Charity with a grin.

Ezekiel lay there for a moment and touched her fingers to her lips in wonder. She was thinking that perhaps Charity was not the only one feeling more alive than ever before. Grace had done more than merely save her life. It was as if Grace, through her sacrifice, had freed her sisters from some binding witchcraft and now they were discovering the true joy of living in God’s presence.

Perhaps celebrating in this way was somewhat sinful. And perhaps even to walk abroad, dressed like a man with her hair cut short and exposed, was sinful. Yet surely none of it could be truly a Sin, because she still felt God in her heart. And God’s warmth flowed through her when her sister/wife kissed her so intimately. Maybe there lay the explanation. They had both been married before God to the same wonderful man. And since her husband had commanded it, it was her duty to give the seeming of a man. She had no knowledge of proper behavior between two sister/wives. If this was proper behavior, then so be it. Who was she to deny God’s will?

Besides, she was now Ezekiel, and Ezekiel was newly married to Charity. And if any from the village were watching, it was important that the watchers clearly understand both of those facts in order for the family to escape with their lives.

Ezekiel reached up and pulled her sister/wife back down into her embrace. This time she returned the kiss with a passion of her own. Together, they gave thanks to Grace for the gift of their lives by celebrating their passion.

A little while later, the two lay together in the back of the wagon. Ezekiel looked to the side and saw tears begin to slide from Charity’s eyes. She looked away.

“I beg you, sister,” said Ezekiel in a soft voice. “Do not weep. For if you walk that path then I cannot help but follow. A man weeps differently from a woman and if I were to weep my disguise would be undone. Put aside your grief, my sister, until it is safe for us to weep together.”

Charity nodded and brushed the tears from her face. She looked away and gulped and then forced herself to breathe deeply.

After a time, Charity spoke in a soft voice. “I am ready. Perhaps we should speak of something else for a time to keep my mind from wandering.”

Ezekiel rolled over onto her side and stared down into her sister/wife’s eyes.

“Very well. You spoke earlier of something that sparked my interest. What is this terrible act you intend to commit?” she asked.

“Shh!” whispered Charity.

She pulled Ezekiel down so that her mouth was close to Ezekiel’s ear.

“Think of the story of Lot and his two daughters, and that will lead you to the answer,” whispered Charity.

Ezekiel blinked twice and then her eyes opened wide in shock.

“What are you thinking?” whispered Ezekiel. “You cannot do such a thing!”

Charity giggled. “And this from a woman who has spent the last hour being passionate with her very own sister,” she replied. “I pledged to give our husband/brother a whole brood of children including at least one son so that our father’s house is carried on into the next generation. In this way I can insure that our brother’s duty to his father may be fulfilled. And given our brother’s sacrifice for us, I will not break that pledge. Lot was surely loved by God. And if the daughters of Lot could lie with their father without incurring God’s wrath, why should not the daughters of Samuel?”

“Lot was plied with wine by his daughters,” replied Ezekiel. “He knew not what he was doing. Perhaps the lesson is that Lot was freed from guilt but the burden fell on his daughters.”