My family has a tradition. It’s really an open secret in the family but I guess only a secret because we just don’t talk too much about it. Until now, that is. I don’t even know how I found out about this tradition. I think I was about ten when my cousin Rodney brought it to my attention. At the time I was interested when my twelve year old cousin talked about sex like he was all-knowing, even though now, thinking back he was so full of crap. So you could say it’s something I’ve always known.

Now it’s different, because my sixteenth birthday is tomorrow and you could say I’m up next to bat. Oh, don’t know what the open secret is yet, do you?

As I said, tomorrow is my birthday and I’ll be sixteen. My sister, Sarah, is already 18 and I remember when she had her sweet sixteen. After the party, she was different. Older somehow. She never said, but it was after mom and dad took her out to dinner without my brother and me. But since I’m a guy and all, I’ll be getting something different.

I already know what it is, but I need to explain something first. My grandmother who everyone calls grams - even my uncles - or maybe HER mom before her, started the tradition. This was back in the olden days before there cars, when folks around here mostly rode horses and trains, according to my cousin.

Anyway, mom’s side of the family is credited with starting this tradition because they were poor and couldn’t afford to give big birthday presents like kids get today.

This is the hard part in my explanation of the tradition because, well, it’s embarrassing to admit something like this. I’m just fifteen, okay? So the thing is, I’m a virgin. Wow, that was really hard to write, knowing that everyone is going to know now - that a dude got to fifteen and was still a virgin. Rodney lost his about the same day he was born, if you believe him. But mom has talked about it a little in the last week or so, so I know Rodney isn’t a total liar.

Mom said if I was too embarrassed to accept her gift, it’d ruin the family tradition that goes back generations, so I’m writing my thoughts down to kind of psych myself up for tomorrow. Nervous is okay, mom said. I’m just not allowed to be embarrassed. Yeah, I’m definitely nervous as hell!

My mom is a total fox. Dad says it’s his job to keep her fit and slim. I don’t know if that’s really true but I’ve heard him tell her she will have to run five miles if she really wanted that piece of cheesecake she was considering. So you know what? Maybe he does really help her out like that!

Everyone at school thinks my mom’s a total MILF and stuff, too. Sometimes it’s hard to pretend to get mad at my buddies for saying shit like that. I mean it’s expected to get defensive, but they’re absolutely right, too.

I just read over what I wrote and there’s a lot of repeat words but still no explanation of the tradition or what the present mom gives me will be. That’s just because I’m still really nervous. I keep thinking things that freak me out. What if it doesn’t work tomorrow? My junk, I mean. What if I can’t get a boner when I NEED to? But my mom. She’s like totally hot so Ijust have to hope, is all.

I think my little brother Darryn, is already jealous that I’m the one that’s sixteen tomorrow. What he doesn’t understand is the pressure they’re putting me under and it’s not like I can talk to my buddies about it. But this writing thing to prepare myself is really helping me. It’s TMI but I got major wood already.

Oh, I still didn’t say what IT was! The open secret. No one outside the family knows either. But WE all know. Mom’s present, like her mom gave uncle Dan and her mom gave grampa Jessie. And maybe his mom’s mom gave him too? Thinking of uncle Dan popping wood for grams is totally barfacious, but at the same time, it’s pretty cool too, ya know?

And grams is a GILF too, so it’s totally possible for me, after tomorrow, to practice the horizontal hula with her too. Yep, once I turn sixteen, even grandpa shares. In case you didn’t catch it, the big three letter word. Sex. Grampa is totally strict with grams and doesn’t mind people knowing it, but I officially join the club and grampa will make grams offer herself to me too.

This tradition sort of gets fuzzy in my head when it comes to making grams and mom actually DO anything. Dad’s not like grampa at all. He’s just kind of cool about it. I can’t really explain it.

Dad would never think to bend mom over the table in front of everyone, lift her skirt and spank her butt. I just now realized something! He would ask her for a, ‘private word’. He has a lot of those with mom.

Grampa is, like I said, really strict and I wonder if grams fucks up on purpose sometimes? I mean after being married to him forever - I think it’s more than forty years now - she’d learn to call him Sir without fail. Especially since grampa just doesn’t care if we’re at a family reunion or anything. If she doesn’t call him Sir every time she talks to him, he just casually tells her to assume the position and she does it.