Chapter 2

I met Robert for lunch and told him I was pregnant. He was thrilled that he was going to be a father thinking a baby would bind us together forever. I told him it couldn’t be the way he wanted. My impending divorce that I knew was coming was not going to be pretty and another marriage was not even in my playbook ... Tim and my children are going to be furious and he was going to be persona non grata. I asked him what he thought would happen ... he could fuck me, put a baby in me and everything was going to be rainbows and unicorns? Not likely. He said he loved me and wanted us to still be together whenever we could. I was honest with him. I told him I loved what he did to me sexually. I had never been so sexually satisfied but I didn’t love him the way he wanted. I told him that soon as I tell Tim, I’m going to be a single, pregnant woman. I knew that there was no chance of saving my marriage and family. He said he wanted me to move in with him if Tim throws me out. I said I would think about it.

I had an appointment with an OB/GYN who confirmed that I was now 8 weeks along. She gave me all the usual vitamins and exercises and I made my follow up appointment. How times have changed. It’s been 20 years since I was pregnant with Jake. What the hell was I thinking!! Fucking a guy unprotected not to mention thinking it wouldn’t matter if he filled my cheating pussy full of his sperm. Shit!

I called Tim and asked him to meet me at home as soon as he could. We needed to talk. Knowing how much Tim loves me, he would drop everything and come home if I needed him. I’m now back to where my sad story began. I sit here looking out my window knowing this will most likely be the last time I do this in my home. I took the liberty of having one of our lawyers draw up the divorce paperwork and had them ready to give Tim. My bags are packed. Just taking clothes, toiletries and other things that have been dear to me.

Tim found me at the window, with tears streaming down my face. He immediately came over and took me in his strong arms. He said, “Marsha whatever your concerned about, we can work it out. Tell me what I can do to help you, Baby.” I loved it when he called me Baby. I’m sure that would be the last time I heard it from my loving husband after I’m done.

I finally said, “I don’t think so this time Tim. This is a biggie. Sit down, Sweetheart. I have something to tell you and you will most likely hate me when I’m done. Tim, I have loved you from the first time we met and I always will but that love did not keep me from betraying you, the boys and our family in the worst way possible. I told him he had done nothing to deserve this and I couldn’t be sorrier or more humiliated at my behavior. You are a proud man and I don’t expect your forgiveness. I told him I had met a man and had been engaged in a sexual affair with him for the last four months.”

I let my confession sink in a minute. Tim looked like I had shot him directly in the heart. He teared up and ran to the bathroom. He threw up until he had nothing left. I tried to help him but he told me not to touch him. He asked me if the affair was over and I said no. Then the bomb. I said, “Tim, I was foolish. He impregnated me. I’m pregnant. The first time we had sex, we didn’t take any precautions. I have his baby in my womb. I’m almost three months along.”

Tim just stared at me like I was from another planet. I said,” I know you won’t accept this in any form or fashion so I took the liberty of having the divorce papers here for you to sign. I am packed and will leave our home immediately after our talk. He said, “so ... you are going to live with your baby daddy?” I said yes, until I find a place. Are you in love with this man? I said no, but being honest, I loved what he did to me sexually which was my downfall. “He says he’s in love with me and wants to marry me but I’m not in the same place he is. I don’t love him the way I love you.” Tim held up his hand and said, “NO, you don’t get to tell me you love me. You gave up that privilege the first time you kissed him, let alone the first time he slid his dick into you.”