Chapter 1

David and Marian got there at about eight o’clock, I guess. It was the end of the dinner rush at Red Lobster, things settling down, crowds thinning out.

I dislike crowds. I still go to a Cardinals game once in a while, but overall, I’m not a fan of having a lot of people around me. I even try for the all-inclusive areas where the seating is a little better and more flexible. Personal shortcoming? Probably. Not phobic, just uncomfortable.

I stood when I saw them come through the door. When I waved, they noticed me, pointed my way, and told the hostess they were with me, so she brought them to the table. I was sipping on a beer that my cute little redheaded waitress had brought me. Hugging first Marian and getting a kiss on my cheek, then David, him kissing the other cheek, we said howdy and started catching up. These were my late wife’s niece and nephew. Twins, unmarried, both of them in college and only lacking a year, if I remember right, of finishing their undergraduate degrees. They lived together and pooled everything to save money and spent their time studying and letting me buy them stuff. They had a pretty good gig and they knew it.

I inherited them after my wife and her sister took off on a girls’ getaway, several years ago. Six, maybe seven years now? About that, anyway. The kids were in high school then. Freshmen? Anyway, the girls didn’t come back. The plane carrying them back from Thailand didn’t make it off the runway; it tumbled into a fireball and all 135 people on board were lost, their mother and my wife among them. Their father went a little bit nuts later, got caught with someone else’s wife, and was shot dead in his prime. I hadn’t done much of anything with my pecker but pee since that fiasco. Just not a very good outlook as far as I was concerned, and I had very little interest in having a woman around after all that happened.

Now, looking at pretty little redheaded waitresses, and fantasizing, was a whole ‘nuther story. That I did a lot of, and this was no exception. She was very cute. Petite, but all there, if you know what I mean. She brought the new round of drinks we ordered, an unsweetened iced tea for me and each of the kids a strawberry daiquiri, and as she smiled and started to take our orders, I heard a commotion at the door.

A girl screamed as she was pushed. I heard a splash. The hostess. Her arm in the lobster tank. I picked that up in my near peripheral vision, then I saw the guy that pushed her. He yelled, “Linda!” I saw him wave a gun in front of him as he looked around for someone, or something. “Linda, God damn you!” he yelled. He looked at our server. I looked at our server’s name tag. ‘Linda’. Shit. I looked behind him. Nothing. I moved away from the table. His gun came up, mine came out, his went off once and mine went off twice. “Pop BAMM BAMM.” He hit Linda in her shoulder. I hit him once in the chest and once in the teeth. ‘Oh, crap, that’s gonna leave a mess,’ I thought. At least he was in the lobby entrance when it happened. The mess was contained there and the wall behind him. Linda fell into my arms. I grabbed Marian’s napkin with my trigger finger. It was closest to my free hand, which wasn’t really all that free, what with my pistol in it. I laid my Kimber down on my booth seat after putting it on safe, doubled the cloth napkin over, and pressed it to her shoulder hollow area where the wound was. I could feel what was probably the bullet under her skin. It didn’t go very far, and certainly not through. I held her in my lap with the napkin over the hole and hugged her. She was already in shock.

I looked at the bartender. “Call 911. Hurry. Move it. This is real, lady!” She picked up the phone. “Marian, call 911 and tell them what’s happening. Your brother is a mess, and I think the bartender is stuttering.” David looked to be in shock as well.

“Yes, sir.” She did. Marian is quite a girl. She’s had to raise and watch out for her effeminate, mostly gay, little twin brother for the last six years. Yes, she had my help, but it was all I could do to stay out of the way. I loved David, but I was not attracted to him in any way. Unlike the other way around. Marian made a concerted effort to keep him otherwise occupied, at my request. She thought it was funny. I most certainly didn’t.

I heard the sirens and saw the lights at the door. Two officers came in, the first at the ready, weapon up but was met by the manager telling him it was all over. She pointed to the mess by the lobster tank in the lobby and up toward me. Then a couple of med techs came in and were pointed in my direction as well. They took Linda from me and, laying her out on the floor, worked with her. One went back for the gurney after calling for another crew with a body bag.

“Thank you?” A little meek voice said from the floor by me. She was raising her good arm toward me. I knelt by her side, took her hand and gently squeezed it. I nodded, she smiled, then her eyes closed, and she faded away.

“Is she OK, doc?” I asked.

“She’s fine, sir. I gave her a shot to make this easier. She’s in better shape than you are, most probably. You just killed a man. That’s going to take some getting used to.”

“Oh. OK.” While not an everyday occurrence, I wasn’t going to lose any sleep over this. “Where are you taking her?”

“Boone County,” she said. “After what I just saw, you might want to visit. That was a smile.”

I smiled. “It was, wasn’t it?” She nodded.

“Sir, step over here, please.” It was one of the officers. I was not looking forward to this, at all.

We went over it, and over it, and over it. David drove their car home, Marian drove my truck, then they both came down to the station to wait until I was worked over with rubber hoses and questioned until my ears fell off. That all lasted about an hour until my lawyer and the district attorney walked in with a recording of the restaurant manager’s statement from a detective they sent out to look around.

“Mr. Davis, we’re not holding you. At this point, I wish you had shot first, but, that’s not normally the way these things go. Of the three I’ve seen, someone always gets hurt first, before the idiot can be stopped. In any case, no charges, and your weapon will be sent home with you. Your military jacket came up, as well. Thank you for your service, sir. Harry can walk you out and sign for your weapon and your personal belongings. Sorry for the short incarceration, but it’s pretty normal these days until we sort things out.”

“Not a problem. Easier than last time, but that was New Orleans, and he had friends in low places,” I quipped. Harry laughed. The DA had a questioning look.

“Don’t ask,” Harry told him. “Frank, thank you for helping me with this, but there are some things you just don’t want to hear.” He grinned, Frank smiled and nodded. Lawyer lingo? In any case, I was free to go.

Marian hugged me. David hugged me. Marian pulled him off of me. “Harry, thanks. We’ll talk tomorrow.” He nodded and handed me a big bag with my gun, wallet, wedding rings, and keys. And a bunch of change. “Take me home, kids. I’m still hungry, though.”

Marian laughed and said, “You’re always hungry.” She drove us to a Wendy’s then I took the kids home, apologized for ruining their dinner and told them I’d catch up with them later and make things right. They lived in an apartment there in Columbia. I lived a bit north of there but came down now and again to see them and take care of all kinds of things. Columbia was kind of the like the handiest big town around.

I checked in to the Drury Inn where they thankfully had a last-minute room available and went to the hospital to check on Linda. At the desk, they gave me a bit of grief, but finally, on speaking with the ER staff, let me in to visit. She was awake and told them to please let me in.

“Hi,” she said when our eyes met. Gorgeous smile.

“Hi, Linda. You OK?”

“Yeah. You know my name, it’s Linda. Linda Stevens, but I’m a bit in the dark here.”

“Charlie Davis.”

“Well, Mr. Davis...”

“Charlie. Just Charlie, for now, Linda.”

“Well, Charlie, thank you, I think. I told the detective a few minutes ago that Gary threatened to kill me if I didn’t go out with him again, but I thought he was being a bit melodramatic. I seem to have underestimated the guy. He came in one night a while back and I thought he was OK, so I agreed to a date, and lo and behold, it was the worst decision, now proven, I’ve ever made. Anyway, what brings you here, kind sir?”

“Your smile. Just before you passed out, you reached out for me and smiled. You said, ‘Thank you’ in the sweetest voice, so I thought the least I could do was check on you.”

“Thank you. Again. Really. You smiled at me when I brought you that beer. You were waiting for your friends...”

“My niece and nephew. Marian and David.”

“OK. Your smile. You have a nice smile. Warm. Anyway, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. It was the smile of a man admiring a beautiful redheaded girl. No ulterior motive, but not the grand gesture of a gentleman, either.”

“Someone would rather you not be looking at the waitress that way, huh?”

“Not really. There is no someone, but I still shouldn’t be. I’m probably old enough to be your father and need to be a bit careful.”

“You can’t be that old, and I’m not exactly a baby, Charlie.”

“Pray tell.”

“You first.”

“Thirty-eight.”

She laughed. “Twenty-five! That’s entirely possible. My mother at fifteen and you at thirteen. Yep. She was a real gem, she was. Sorry. T M I. Way too much information.”

“Wow. Not the beginning of a fairy tale by any stretch of the imagination.”

“Actually, it was. Cinderella, but I ran away, found a shelter, got emancipated, worked nights, and I’m still at it. Pressing on.” About that time, a couple of orderlies came in to the cubicle and helped her on to a different bed then told me they were taking her upstairs.

One looked at her. “He OK to follow?” She nodded.

I followed them through and up to her room. They got her settled and when I thought she was comfortable, and she was smiling, I said to her, “Tell me more, and then I’ll share, if you like.”

She cocked her head at me, but I smiled at her and nodded. “I didn’t have the best of starts in life. Doing better now, but it wasn’t always a bed of roses. More Guns and Roses. And alcohol. And drugs. And sleazy bikers. One tried to get frisky with me when Mother was passed out on the couch. I screamed, woke her up and told her, but she just grinned and went back to sleep. I was still pretty young. I grabbed a bunch of stuff in a bag and left. I found the shelter. Been on my own ever since. Gary was like my third date in eight years. I have terrible luck around men.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You said you’d share.”

“Wife and her sister went on an Asian tour several years back and never came home. Plane crash took her and the kids’ mother. The kids that were with me. Their dad got shot by a jealous husband. I haven’t been looking, so no dating problems. I just fantasize about cute waitresses. And visit them in the hospital.”

“How sweet.”

“I’m glad you’re OK. I’m surprised you can hear.”

“They said your gun, your pistol, was on the far side, down and more behind me and that helped. They’re still ringing a bit, but I can hear. So, what’s your story? I’m a waitress at Red Lobster. You?”

“Customer at Red Lobster, purveyor of fine electronical things, and unprofessional fisherman.”

She giggled. “I know about the first. I witnessed that. The second one sounds naughty, and the last, I’m wondering how that works. Are you that unprofessional, or just not trying to make a living at a hobby?”

“The latter. It’s way fun, but much too expensive to make a living at. Linda, I have caught a lot of fish. Big fish. Little fish. In between fish, and I’m still in the fifty to a hundred dollar a pound range for what it’s costing me. Probably closer to a hundred and fifty, but we unprofessional fishermen tend to exaggerate the weight of some of our ... Prey. Catch. Find. Treasure. Lunchmeat. Nothing better than tuna salad made with real tuna.”

“Is that an offer for a taste?”

“Do you want it to be?”

“Would you mind if I did?”

“Do you answer every question with a question?”

“Do you?” We both broke up laughing at that. She grimaced. Not enough drugs to laugh yet.

“Nurse!” I hollered. A nurse came in, smiling. She had a pitcher with some ice water and what appeared to be a syringe setup.

“I heard. You need to be careful, little lady. That’s gonna smart for a bit until we get some initial healing going on in there. Those are real live muscles with real live holes in them,” she told Linda. Then she looked at me. “No more funny business or I’ll throw you clean outa here.” She giggled and smiled when she said it. Linda smiled and held her good arm up, finger to her lips. “That’s right. Keep the humor to a minimum. She doesn’t need the movement yet.” The nurse helped with a couple pillows and got her comfortable after putting a shot into her IV hose. “You’ve got about ten minutes until she checks out on you. Make it count. I’m going to have to ask you to leave after that. We’ll get your name on the list for her tomorrow, IF she says it’s OK.” Linda nodded, smiling. “OK. Check with me at the desk on the way out.”

“Thanks...” I looked at the ID badge on the lanyard around her neck. “Beatrice. Thank you. I’ll be out in a bit.” I looked back at Linda. “OK. Yes. I’d like to make you some tuna salad. Picnic? Your place? My place? You name it. Think about it and let me know. You live alone?”

“No, but my roommate is never there, so it’s not like I’m getting any help or anything.”

“Let’s talk in the morning. I have an idea. It may suck, but it’s an idea.” She held her hand out. I took it and held it for a bit. She smiled, so I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You take care. I’ll be back in the morning.” Her smile was contagious. Mine was with a bit more feeling than I’ve done in quite a while.

“Thank you, Charlie. See you then.” Her words got lighter and slower. I touched her cheek, watching her eyes close, and she was out. I kissed her nose and left. Such a pretty girl. I was drawn to this cute little thing. More than I have ever been drawn to a woman before, including my wife. Telling. Very, very telling.

I checked in at the desk, leaving Beatrice with my business card, and a good look at my driver’s license and my retired military ID card. She looked at all three. “Thank you, Mr. Davis of The Davis Group. I’ll get this on the list, so they don’t give you any crap here in the morning.”

“I’ll probably be back before you get off if you’re working 12s. You’d better not give me any crap or I’ll make all your patients laugh and blame it on you.” I smiled at her as she shook her head. “Thank you, ma’am. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I headed back to the hotel, ran up with my crash bag, took a quick shower and laid down with sleepy intentions. I thought about the unfortunate and unintended barrel rise on my second shot and was asleep in seconds.

I woke up hugging Linda, trying not to hurt her arm as I pulled her to me, only to find the linen of the pillow case on my chin and the pillow up against my chest. Interesting dream, to say the least.

I took care of all my morning necessities, shaved, showered again, hit the mouthwash twice ... gotta kill that sulfur the man says ... And headed out. I got a couple of big breakfast platters, some coffee, and orange juice from Mickey D’s and headed up the hill to the hospital and her room. Beatrice was there.

“It’s six o’clock. You ever sleep?” I shook my head. I nodded toward the room and she said, “OK, but let her get a bit more shuteye, OK?” I nodded, went in, set the bag on the vanity and sat next to Linda in the chair.

I was very quiet and know I didn’t wake her up, but I got a, “Good morning, Charlie. What are you doing here so early?”

“I didn’t have anything better to do than harass the nurses, so I thought I’d check on you while I was here.”

She giggled. “Will you tell Beatrice I’m awake, Charlie. I was awake when you came in, by the way. If she says anything, I’ll bail you out. It’s hurting more than I thought it would.” I went and got the nurse.

“Hurtin’ a bit, sugar?” Linda nodded. Beatrice put a little shot in the IV tube. “That’s not going to knock you out. Doc’s gonna be here around seven or seven-thirty and she’ll want you awake to talk to you.” Linda nodded. Beatrice was walking out. “Mr. Davis, there’s a microwave behind the nurse’s station.”

“Thanks, ma’am. Be there in a bit.”

“Microwave?”

“I brought McDonald’s.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

I fed her and about half way through our breakfast she asked me about my idea.

“Stay with me until you’re healthy enough to cut your own steak. Guest room. It’s on the other end of the house, but close enough if you need something I can help. I could get you a nurse if you want. Anyway, it’s either a good idea or a crappy one. Your choice. I have some vacation time coming. So, unless there’s an emergency at work, I can be close, in any case. If I have to leave, I can have one of the girls come out and help you out.”

“The girls?”

“Any of several ladies from the ages of eighteen to sixty that work for me, love weird assignments and enjoy helping people. I loan them to charities and all kinds of freaky things. None of them have complained to Human Resources yet, so I think I’m OK.”

Another giggle. I love giggling redheads. Nothing prettier. Prettier sounding or prettier looking.

“We’ll see, but it sounds like an offer I can’t, or at least shouldn’t, refuse.”

“I will guarantee only one thing while you are there. Your safety and security. That might be two things. I like my own cooking but haven’t really fed anyone else but the kids for a long time. I like sappy movies and work a lot from home. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but at least you’ll be well taken care of.” She smiled again and nodded.

The doctor cleared her to leave, provided she wore a restrictive sling for 72 full hours. No cheating, no taking it off, no nothing. After that, she was free to move as little or as much as she could, slowly, and without too much pain. Her shoulder would tell her when to stop. Her physical therapy appointments, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, for the next four weeks were a different story. They would tell her when to stop. Even the doctors didn’t mess with those people.

I took her home to pick up some clothing and such. The apartment was an absolute dichotomy of living environments. The kitchen was really well organized, as was the dining room, but the living room was a disaster. I saw her room, neat as a pin, and across the hall the room looked like an EF4 tornado just went through it. Linda was organized and tidy. Her roommate was a ... A mess. I helped her with some things from the bathroom. Maybe it was organized chaos. It was clean. Just ... Messy. Oh well, I could tell by this visit that Linda was organized, conscientious, and, she was very pretty. With her things gathered and packed in one big suitcase and one big Olive Garden paper bag, we left.

In the truck, tooling home, I asked her, “Linda, you said you were still at it and pressing on. What was that in reference to?”

“Classes. At Stevens College. No relation. Event and Convention Management with a Business Minor. I have a little scholarship through the shelter that saved my little tushy, and I work my butt off for the rest.”

“Impressive. A Stevens business degree isn’t a cakewalk.”

“No, but I’m getting it done. That’s the good news. I just thought of something. I’m going to have some issues here in a bit. It’s Wednesday. Spring break is over Sunday, and I’m going to need to be...”

“We’ll fix it. No worries. Please. Let’s talk at home.”

“Charlie?”

“Yeah, hon?”

“It’s a little late for this, but am I really safe?”

“Absolutely. I have the hots for you, Linda. I think you’re a doll, but I won’t so much as touch you without your expressed approval. Understand that, hon. I’m not a sex crazed hormone riddled teenager. Promise.” She meekly nodded. I think at that point she understood, she was actually in an unknown environment, operating with nothing but her instincts about people.

We got home, parked the truck in the garage, next to the car, and I showed her around. She liked her room and put some things in drawers and in the closet, with a little assistance. She did the lingerie herself, for the most part, with me just opening and closing drawers, but looking intently at her pretties. Sue me. I’m a guy. We like that stuff.

“I need to call work and ask what kind of schedule I have with them. I can’t lose that job. Best one I’ve had, and I’m actually getting a bit ahead of the curve.” She called in to work while I listened and was told she had about a month, then they’d have to work other arrangements. When she told me that, I was a little perturbed, but, thinking more about it, it wasn’t their fault Gary and I shot the place up, either.

“We’ll work with that. Physical therapy, and lots of work here, and you’ll be fine. We’ll put you in charge instead of them. OK?” She smiled and nodded. “For that pretty smile, you get ... tuna salad. As promised.”

She loved it. She loved all my cooking. I loved her instructions doing her recipes since she was still a bit shaky, even a week later.

She went back to school. I put her in the car. It was an automatic with power steering and a console shifter, so it worked out well.

In three weeks, she was almost ready to be out on her own, but I tested her. I put a tray on the counter, a big round one, with two plates of pasta, two glasses of water, a butter dish, and told her to take it to table one. She did great and told me she felt it, but it was really light, and an ache, not a sharp pain. A discussion with the Pain and Torture people, one more visit with the doctor, and she was cleared for work.

We moved her home, then when we were done with everything, and had it all in her room, I looked at her, took her hands, and asked her, “Linda, can I see you after this?”

“Oh, God, Charlie, I thought you’d never ask. I was getting ready to ask you what was wrong with me. You said you had the hots for me and never made a mention, a touch, an advance, or a flirt one with me. I thought you had decided I wasn’t what you thought. Crap ... Listen to me. Rambling like a little girl.” She took her hands and put them to her face.

I laughed. “Yeah. The one I have the hots for. What now? I haven’t dated for like fifteen or twenty years.”

“You ask me out to a movie and dinner. Anywhere but Red Lobster, hopefully. Wendy’s. Burger King. Sonic. Anything but Red Lobster.”

“When?” I took her hands in mine again and rubbed the backs of them with my thumbs. “Soonest, please. We’re past wounded bird, Linda. I really want to go beyond what we’ve seen, done, and been together. You pick the place and the movie. Seriously. You need to. If you leave it up to me, we’ll wind up with CC’s and a Smurf movie. I’m not up-to-date with that type of thing.”

“Trust me?”

“At this point? Completely. Oh, and no constraints. CC’s is fine, I’m just saying, that and a Smurf movie might be a little ... Incompatible?”

“Pick me up here, Monday at six. I’ll have you feed me, and I’ll have picked the movie.” I smiled at her. “Charlie, why didn’t you...”

“Territory. I need you independent, on your own, and able to process what is about to happen. Linda, I’m going to say this, even though it’s way too early. I fell in love with you. In the hospital.” She gasped. “When I kissed your forehead. I know. It sounds a little ... Flaky. I felt something. I’m sorry...”

“And you waited until you got me well, and home, and on my own to tell me?”

“I have my reasons.”

“Wow. Yes. CC’s. Any problems with Jennifer Garner?”

“No. If you won’t go out with me and she calls, I guess I would settle.”

She laughed out loud, grabbing her shoulder. I reached out for her and held her. “Damn, that got me a bit. I like you holding me.” She looked up at me. I looked down. We met in the middle. The kiss was electric. Three and a half weeks, and this was the first time our lips met. Not by my preference, but by my decision. So glad I waited. She understood, I think. She couldn’t be dependent on me. Leaning on me. She had to be free, complete, and her own person, when she decided. The second kiss was sensational.

“Yes. I like holding you, too. Monday night. Dress?”

“No. You should be in a suit.” She giggled as I laughed. “No, Charlie, tie and sport coat. The tie’s coming off after dinner. I want you comfortable at the movie. Is that OK?”

“You’re the boss. Kiss me. I’m leaving. Linda, if you need anything ... I mean it. Anything. You call me. Promise.” She nodded. “Promise?” I asked again, just to be sure.

“I promise. Thank you, Charlie. Monday?” I nodded. One more little kiss and I was off.

That was Friday, so I had a couple days at home to relax and get things together. My thoughts raced and with a Swiffer duster in hand, I ran around the house and came up with some ideas for work. Saturday, I did laundry, took care of the yard, the pool, contemplated being in a relationship, and that evening, sitting in the hot tub, really thought about the future, and very possibly not being alone, for the first time in several years. I was not looking for a girlfriend. I wasn’t even looking for the girlfriend experience, if you catch my drift. Other than scoping young pretty women out at a distance, a safe distance, at that, I didn’t really want to be tied down. I couldn’t help it with this one, though. I would have had to actually, emotionally and physically, work at pushing this one out of my life. I chose not to. It felt too good. Too right. Too necessary. Too natural.

I had invited the kids up for Sunday. The solar heaters were working on the pool and even though it was still spring, it was warm and a good temperature for swimming. The day was gorgeous. Lots of sun, and no breeze. It was only about seventy out, but once you laid in the hot rays, it warmed you to where you could even feel the tingle of the tanning power of the big yellow orb.

David came out in his little speedo. I hate to say he was cute, but damn, he was. Marian was a gorgeous creature that took after her mother. They were both about the same size, five four or so. The twins’ father was a small man, and Denise, their mother, wasn’t more than about five three and slightly built. My wife, Carolyn, the younger of the two, was much different. More like their father. A bit bigger and fuller.

Anyway, the kids came out, and I was quite taken with Marian in her little blue bikini. She was a very pretty girl. David was a very pretty boy, almost. Maybe he was mostly girl, too. Very slight. Not a hair on his body, little tiny bump in his Speedo. He came out where I was laying and offered to oil my back.

“Sure, David. Thanks.” Marian giggled. Then my nephew did. She was wise to him. When he got done, the little bump was a bigger bump, clearly a full-blown erection, but not two and a half inches long and fairly skinny. Yeah, cute. Poor kid.

“David, come. Let him rest.” Marian got him in the pool and they swam a bit and tossed a ball around. I felt her patting my butt. “Uncle Charlie. Wake up, sir.” I came out of a bit of a funk. I don’t know why she calls me ‘sir’ so much.

“Thanks, doll. How long was I out?”

“Forty-five minutes. I didn’t want you to burn.”

“Thanks, doll. I’m going to get lunch ready.” I took off inside, leaving them out there to bask in the rays while I got some eats together and thought about Linda.

The kids went home that afternoon a bit morose, quiet, giving me a hug and telling me they hoped to see me soon. Marian reminded me to be good and stay out of trouble. All this time trying to be careful with David, I must have let my guard down. She kissed me on the lips and told me to tell Linda ‘Hi’ for her. David piped up with the same but settled for a hug as I kissed him on top of his head. They had been out to the house a few times for dinner and a couple evenings in the hot tub while Linda was staying with me. I hadn’t noticed any bonding or anything going on, but I told them I would see her tomorrow night and pass their wishes on.

I was as nervous as a teenager on his first date with a cheerleader. I couldn’t let it show, but I truly was worried. I had admitted to falling in love with her. It doesn’t get much worse than that. I could offer to bear her children. That was the next logical step. Not really that logical, though, come to think of it. In any case, I really screwed that one up. I just laid all my cards down after the deal and asked for the pot. Not quite how the game is supposed to go. Nuanced raises and calls, checks here and there, should be played. Nope. Not me. I love you. Right out in front. Oh well, now I get to go clean up the mess.

Outside her door with a small bouquet of mixed flowers, I knocked. An amazingly gorgeous creature with long blonde hair and a beautiful smile answered the door. “Linda! Lover boy is here! Come on in, sir. Have a seat. She’ll be out in a few, I’m sure. Tressa. Tressa Potter.” She held her hand out. I took it and lightly shook. “Roommate extraordinaire. I heard you had a funny look on your face when you saw my room. Sorry. I’m up to my ass in alligators and can’t find the drain. I used to be as neat as Cinderella, but I lost it somewhere. I started caring more about my future than my present and gave up. Sorry. I talk too much. Always have. LINDA! SAVE ME! I’M TALKING!”