Chapter 1

I watched her laying there asleep in the hotel room. Her long ginger hair splashed across the pillow and lightly snoring. Thinking back all these years and what it took to get here and how we never were together at first, but always knew it would be us in the end.

Snapping out of it I realized It’s time to get ready. I put on my tennis shoes the old fashioned converse my jeans and a black no trademark t-shirt with no logo. Looking in the mirror I see an older man 56. I still have my long unruly dark brown hair not graying, but balding in the front and the bangs long gone. The unattractive face with brown eyes the hare lip hidden long ago with dentures. I’m ready for the induction ceremony. I still have an hour before I wake her and call security so I grab a beer and sit back and wonder ... How the fuck did I get here?

Growing up in a middle class family in a suburbia western state was awful back then. I was born with a rare syndrome that causes the lower jaw to protrude out past my upper jaw and my teeth never fully developing or were nonexistent, which caused me to be the brunt of many jokes during junior high and high school. My parents used to tell me the doctors said that I would be mentally handicapped and that the syndrome was hereditary, even though family pictures prove nobody else looked this ugly. So my parents cursed me with the name of Dana Willie Burke, “what the fuck did I ever do to you?” Should’ve just named me prison bitch. I have an older sister from another mister born six years before me when my Mom was sixteen and a younger sister born nine years after me.

I never felt close to anyone in my family partly because they didn’t understand me I guess or understand what I was going through. My Junior High years and some of my High School years were full of teasing, bullying and a lot of beatings. That is probably why the separation between me and my family, as I was always told to stop being a baby and stand up for myself. I was 5’11” and weighed 90 pounds! Yup 4 on 1 let’s fucking go man.

Elementary school was fucking awesome, nobody cares what you look like at that age. I had a next door neighbor my friend Wayne and another next door neighbor Lisa. Lisa was beautiful with long blond hair blue eyes with an angel’s face. Me and Lisa were a couple we were best friends along with Wayne, and everyone in the neighborhood our age. We walked to school together every day. That lasted until the seventh grade when three eight graders caught us walking home from school.

“Look at this ugly fuck right here,” Bryan said who lives two houses down from me, while pushing his bottom jaw forward matching my hare lip.

I looked at my friends as they were running away and then being punched in the face. As I lay on the ground I was even kicked a couple times and left laying there. When I got home my parents just asked me what happened and why I didn’t defend myself while my older sister chuckled.

After that everyone avoided me even the neighborhood kids that were my friends during elementary school, From then on I just walked to school alone and kept the weekly beatings away from my family. So after school and my spare time was spent in the basement playing my guitar and drums.

Since I was nine I played the guitar and drums, which I taught myself. They were hand me downs from Uncle John my mother’s brother who felt more like an older brother to me, because he was only eight years older than me. My grandparents lived in an old mining town where my grandfather worked as a miner. I used to go visit every summer for two months where my grandmother taught me how to play the piano and read music. I would always bring my guitar, which was a solo electric and after piano lessons I would hang out with my uncle and listen to Rock n Roll. When he would buy an album he would always buy me a matching copy to take home.

I remember the last summer I spent with Uncle John while he was living with my grandparents. I was getting ready to go into the eighth grade. We didn’t spend allot of time together, because he had a job and new girlfriend, her name was Kristina.

I remember the first time I met her. I was in Uncle John’s room while my Uncle was smoking a joint by the open window (Obvious reasons of course). Led Zeppelin was blaring while on my guitar was plugged into the amp and I was matching Jimmy Page on his guitar solo of stairway to heaven when she walked in. I stopped playing as my jaw dropped. She was beautiful. Black hair to her mid back, blue eyes wearing a tight black halter top as I was staring at some Ds.

“Hey babe you didn’t tell me your nephew was this sexy” giving me a hug as my face turns red.

“Ddub, get the fuck away from my girl man,” John says.

Everyone else calls me DW, but my Uncle shortened it to Ddub, which I love.

“Ooooooh babe you know how my weakness is Rock n Roll stars”, Kris says as she pressed her tits against me in another hug.

I had to pull away, because I was getting harder than Japanese Geometry.

“Any left for me baby,” Kris asks.

As they finished the joint we talk. Apparently Kris just graduated college with a music degree and she got a job in the next state over as a music teacher. Uncle John was going with her and they would soon be married. Fuck, I was bummed. I was losing the only person I could talk to and understood me.

“Come on Ddub, you and John can still spend time together and we will come get you next summer and go to a concert,” Kris says.

“Really.” I asked.

“I promise,” Kris says.

“Ok I won’t kick John’s ass. I say, as John screams, “MOTHER FUCKER!” and tackles me to the ground.

Kris jumps on him and we’re rolling on the floor wrestling and laughing. Just one of my few good childhood memories.

My seventh through ninth grades was some lonely years, but at least Bryan and his gang of bullies were in high school the last year, just a couple beatings and lots of teasing. Most of my time was spent in the basement practicing my guitar and drums mostly guitar copying my favorite bands. I thought I was actually pretty good, but had no one to judge me after my Uncle moved to Nevada.

The last summer before High School was bittersweet. Even though it was only three years I knew I didn’t want to deal with it. Then it happened ... True love? She moved in across the street from us. Long ginger hair that fell across her shoulders like a rainbow leading me to the pot of gold and I fell in love instantly.

It was early morning the first day of summer. Most of the neighborhood was either asleep or on vacation. When she went inside I walked over to who I thought was her two older brothers, mother, and father.

“Hi, do you guys need help unloading the truck,” I ask,

“Sure, I’m Mark and this is my wife Brenda and my son’s Josh and Mark Jr. Brook Miss lazy ass, who just ran into the house is our daughter,” Mark said.

“Nice to meet you. My name is DW,” I say.

“Cool fucking name,” Josh says as Brenda slaps the back of his head.

“Let’s move this shit,” Mark says as Brenda gives her husband a dirty look and we all laugh.

We moved everything in, mostly boxes; Brenda said the furniture was coming the next day. It was about five when she said we’re ordering pizza and asked if I wanted to stay?

“No ma’am I’ve intruded enough,” I say I start to leave as Mark Jr grabs me from behind and slips me into a full nelson.

“Fucking STAY FOR PIZZA,” he demands.

I say,”I’ll stay.”

We eat pizza and I find out this is a really cool family. Mark just retired from the Army as an officer, who grew up here and decided to retire here. Mark Jr was in his second year of college and Josh was starting his first both out of state. Brook is going in the same grade as me and turns 16 two weeks before me.

Then SHE walked out of her room. Along with ginger hair she had light freckles all over face.

“Who is this ugly asshole,” she asks as she is biting into her pizza.

“BROOK!” everyone says This time I left and no one stopped me.

The summer moves on, my sister snuck off and married an Air Force officer. Mom got a job at JC Penny and drops my younger sister off to day care, fuck ya time to ROCK.

Two weeks after Brook moved in across the street. I’m in the basement with my amp turned up replicating the ‘Stair Way to Heaven’ when I see Brook looking at me through the basement window. I opened the window.

“What the fuck you scared the shit out of me,” I say.

I went upstairs and stare at her in the doorway.

“I could hear you playing from my house,” Brook says.

“Ya well us ugly fucks tend to annoy people,” I counter with venom. “Look I have enough ass holes in my life,” I say slamming the door.

What am I losing? Fucking nothing. Back downstairs time to rock

Rocking out with the AMP turned up full blast I see Josh in the basement window, WHAT THE FUCK, Upstairs again,

“Man is that you playing the guitar for real? Are you in a band,” Josh asks.

“No, I’m not that good and it’s more of a past time,” I reply.

“You’re good,” he says.

“Hey, man my sister really wanted to apologize to you. We have moved a lot with my dad in the Army. This last move she left many good friends and a boyfriend,” Josh says.

“I guess I understand. Being the school punching bag for the past 10 years and having no friends,” I say.

“I’m your friend,” Josh says.

Josh is really cool. We sit and talk for a couple hours telling our life stories. I even play a few guitar solos and drum solos and he says I’m really good and should be in a band.

The next day after breakfast, I’m lying in my bed listening to rock music and reading a magazine about the latest on my favorite rock bands. I’m wearing my hot wheels pajama bottoms (don’t judge me) and a tank top. When the doorbell rings. Being the only one home, I answer it. There she is her long ginger hair wrapped around her beautiful face wearing a pink halter-top, cut off jean shorts and sandals. I stare as I felt myself get harder than Chinese Calculus.

“Can I come in,” Brook asks.

“Uhm sure,” I say leaning forward trying to hide the tent in my pajamas.

We sit and chat. She told me how sorry she was. She tells me her life story and how difficult it was having to move every two or three years. Once she would get used to the area, it was time to move again. She told me that the last move left behind a boyfriend who broke up with her, because he didn’t want a long distance relationship. I really felt sorry for her. It must be tough moving all the time.

I told her my life story. Which included the bullying and being alone to the rare condition I was born with.

“Why can’t people accept one another for who they are,” she says. Wow if everyone thought like that I wouldn’t have to worry all the time.

She asked about the high school and I told her that this year is my first year. She looked at me confused, as I had to explain to her that our high school is only yhree years. I told her I wasn’t looking forward to it as my favorite bully and his gang would be juniors. I didn’t mention his name or that he lived right down the street.

Well it has been almost five weeks into summer. Brook would come over every day after lunch and doing her chores or helping her mother. She would sit in the basement and read while I played my guitar to all the popular rock bands. I couldn’t understand how she could read with all that noise.

One day on a Friday, we had come upstairs to get a soda. It was about 3 o’clock and we decided to go in the front room and watch TV.

Sitting beside each other, she looked at me and asks, “why haven’t you tried anything on me?”

“I ummmm what are you talking about,” I counter very nervous.

She suddenly wrapped her arms around me and started giving me my very first kiss. She shoved her tongue in my mouth, which really started me going. We were on fire. Groping each other’s bodies. I had one hand on her tight ass and one on her B cup tit I could feel through her halter-top. She reached down in my sweat pants and grabbed me. I was so hard, I almost came when she broke the kiss, and looked at me surprised.

“What the fuck is that you? How does a small guy like you have a long cock that I can’t even get my hand around,” she asks,

She pulled her hand out of my pants and straddled my lap.

“Are you a virgin,” she asks.

“Yes, are you,” I couner.

“Hell no, I lost it three years ago. In about 10 minutes you’ren’t going to be a virgin either,” she countered as she starts a sword fight with our tongues.

Again my hands cupping her ass with her hands running through my long hair. A knock on the front door. “JUST MY FUCKING LUCK,” I thought. I answered the door as Brook straightens her clothes.

Josh asks “Hey, DW is Brook here. Like I don’t already know” as he looks past me at Brook standing behind me.

“Were you guys fucking,” he asked, with a grin on his face.

“NO!” Brook yells back at him.

“Well if you were, its better than sneaking them into the house like you always do,” Josh says.

“I don’t,” she yells.

“Ok well, mom wants you home we’re going to spend the weekend with grandma,” Josh counters.

I have the most fucked up luck.

The following Tuesday Josh shows up at my door telling me I’m going to the swimming pool with him and Brook. I have a very worried look on my face and he says, “I’m not going to let anyone tease your scrawny ass. Come on Brook is waiting.” I pull on a pair of shorts, tank top, and shoes as we head off in his car, which I wonder and am glad since the pool is within walking distance. Being glad because, we would have to walk by Bryan’s house.

We’re there for a couple hours and I’m glad I wore lose fitting shorts, because Brook looks amazing in her black two piece swim suit. When Josh tells us to walk home, because he is going to give a girl he met a ride home.

We swim for a couple more hours when Brook whispers in my ear, “let’s go to your house, and try it again.”

Off we go, we’re rounding our street as luck would have it, there is Bryan and two of his goons sitting on his porch. In addition, of course they are running up to me as Bryan looks at Brook and says, “what the fuck are you doing with this ugly fuck,”

Then I feel a hard punch to the small of my back, which puts me down. Then kicks to my stomach and ribs as I hear a car pull up and hear a familiar voice.

“Brook get in the car! Three big guys on one scrawny guy. Why don’t you try me MOTHER FUCKERS!”

I look up and see Josh standing down my hated bullies. I get up and start limping home.

I’m limping home as Josh pulls up beside me. I look in the passenger seat at Brook who is looking away from me, I tell Josh I’m fine.

“Hey DW if those guys fuck with you again you let me know,” he says.

“Who cares it doesn’t fucking matter.”

A week goes by and no Brook. It’s Brook’s 16th birthday two weeks before mine. I head over to her house with the present I bought her. A heart necklace with a diamond in the middle of it in a jewelry case. Part of the benefits of your mother working at JC Penny. It’s almost ten o’clock as I knock on the door.

“Hey, DW long time no see,” Josh says.

“Is Brook here I have a birthday present for her,” I ask.

“Ya man, Mom is making breakfast and we’re getting ready to wake her up,” he says.

Brook’s mom gives me a hug and asks me to stay for breakfast. They want to surprise her so they make me lead the way down the hall to her room, her mother behind me with her breakfast and her father and brothers all carrying birthday gifts. I hear heavy breathing as I open the door and see Brook naked on her stomach on her bed while Bryan is pounding her from behind,

“OH fuck ya Bryan cum in me, I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABY,” she screams as I drop her necklace on the floor and run out of the house.

I hear a lot of yelling and screaming from her family as I’m running home.

An hour later, I’m lying on the basement floor my face wet. I get up and grab my guitar. As I’m playing my guitar with some heavy metal sounds. I promise myself that I’ll NEVER cry over a girl again.

A week later and a week before my 16th birthday and three weeks before school starts, Uncle John calls my Mom and asks if he and Kris can take me to a week long Rock n Roll Jamboree in northern California. Mom says yes, because they usually forget my birthday anyway, so mom buys the bus ticket to Reno where they live.

It has been a week and a half since the Brook incident and no one has come over. I have not seen Brook outside at all, however, I did see Mark Jr and Josh loading up their cars, apparently getting ready to go to college. I took a quick glance at Josh as he gives me a disgusted look. I don’t know what that was all about.

The next day my Dad drops me off at the bus terminal for my 10-hour bus ride to Reno Nevada. I get to the Reno bus terminal and there is John and Kris there waiting for me. I see John grew a beard and his long hair back in a ponytail. Wearing blue jeans, white t-shirt, and sandals. In addition, Kris her long black hair held back with a green headband, green halter top, striped green bell-bottoms with sandals.

“If I would have known the dress theme was ‘hippies from the early 60s’, I would have dressed accordingly,” I say, wearing my black t-shirt, jeans and converse.

Kris gives me a hug and I shake Uncle John’s hand as he picks me up in a bear hug.

“I want man love,” he says getting a chuckle from Kris. I really did miss them. The only people on this earth I can talk to.

We pile into no other than ... You guessed it... , A vintage 1969 VW Van. The roof was loaded with what looked like coolers boxes with I’m guessing tents and a week’s worth of supplies. Yes, we are travelling in style. Uncle John gets in the passenger seat with a guy in the driver’s seat. I pile in the back seat with a lady on one side and Kris on the other. I’m introduced to Tom and Penny their friends and neighbors. In addition, we’re off for a four-hour drive to Northern California.

Kris asked me how summer is going so far. I give her the rundown about Brook.

John says, “give her a couple months and she’ll wish she got some Ddub dick.”

Everyone laughs except Kris who slaps John on the back of the head.

“Be serious babe shit like that can be traumatic,” she says.

We all sit silently for a while, as I take a drink from a can of soda,

Penny asks, “Ddub, are you a virgin?”

At that moment I found out that, you can spray liquids out of your nose. As everyone is laughing and I’m coughing and choking.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Penny says smiling.

The rest of the trip is talking about random stuff until we get to our destination.

Twenty miles outside of a small town we reach a massive field with crowds of people and I see some platforms being set up. We drive to a nearby campsite with people living in trailers, tents, and cars. We set up a tent big enough for the five of us and the next day the jamboree starts. A massive field set up with four stages set up far enough apart where as not to interfere too much with the other bands, There’s at least two bands playing at any given time 24 hours a day for five days. Bands from all different popularity, from the most popular to the no namers and up and coming bands.

The next four days are a blur as we’re all out trying to catch our favorite bands. Each band would play a 4-song set so there was always two bands playing. I found out Kris likes Folk Rock so she was catching her favorite bands.

Mid afternoon on the last day, Kris and John decide to follow me (since It’s my birthday) to see one of my favorite heavy metal groups. An older band not so popular anymore, but I know and love every one of their songs. We gitt there early so that I could get a spot close to the stage. They finally come out and startt playing, the crowd goes wild. Then all the sudden the lead guitarist collapses on stage as the crowd goes silent and the guitarist is carried off stage. If you have read recent articles on the band, you know why he collapsed.

The lead singer says into the mike as a joke, “well we’re done for the day unless there’s someone out there that can play a Gibson?”.

All of the sudden John and Kris are jumping up and down screaming trying to get the band’s attention. The lead singer takes notice.

“You can play,” he asks pointing at me.

“YES!” Both John and Kris say in unison pointing at me.

“NO,” I yell.

“Well get that skinny kid up here,” the lead singer says.

Therefore, I’m dragged to the stage and hoisted up by the other band members.

“I’m Max the lead singer says.”

“I know who you’re,” I say back, shaking his hand.

“I’m DW,” I say as I’m shaking like 10,000 volts are shooting through my body.

“How old are you DW,” Max asks.

“16 today,” I say.

“Well happy birthday the band’s bassist,” says as he straps me into the Gibson electric guitar and hands me a pick. “Follow our lead and jump in when you can,”

“We will start something easy for you ‘Gotta Get It Now’, “ Max says.

Fuck ya I know this song as the bass and the drums start the beat, I bring the guitar in right on time as the lead singer starts his song. The crowd below us are going wild. I have lost all nervousness when It’s time for my guitar solo. I move to the edge of the stage. I can no longer hear the crowd as I bust out my solo. I know they’re screaming as they are jumping up and down, I can feel the heat coming up from them fueling my fire.

The guitar is now a piece of me and my emotions coming out of it as if we were long lost friends like I finally found myself. I’m free ... I’m alive ... I’m home.