Chapter 7: Mack’s New Roles

Marilyn visited Sharon in her office, beginning with bonobo-style touches kisses, and hugs. “Hey, Sharon, I’ve got a proposal. Should we get in the mood the way a bonobo matriarch might start a team?” She walked behind Sharon, emulating another bonobo technique, rubbing her breasts against Sharon’s back.

In response, Sharon ground her hips into Marilyn’s groin. With a soft laugh, she turned around, appreciating Marilyn’s look, which she’d call sexy but sporty. Her molten copper hair cascaded onto a Kelly-green sweater, her breasts peeping over the black-trimmed neckline, a black laced front dropping further. Her belted black leather skirt went to midthigh, off-black hose disappearing into above-the-knee heeled boots

Laughing, Sharon agreed. “OK, what’s the project you have in mind?”

“I’m becoming a mentor to a new patient named Mack, who is one of those young ones who seems to have exceptional ability.

“I know of him in general, Marilyn.”

“He honored me with a lot of trust. My sense of his diagnosis is that he has cPTSD, so if he trusts me to mention vulnerabilities and ask for advice, that’s impressive. He wants to know how to have a girlfriend, assuming someone his own age. Mack isn’t picking up my admittedly mild flirting.

“He’s interested, though, in a girl named Linda, whom I don’t think is ready to be anyone’s girlfriend.”

“I know, Marilyn, that he has excellent judgment. You’re quite safe to take him to a guest room here. You may choose to bring others, but don’t let anyone besides Mack know you live here.”

Marilyn tests Mack

Earlier, before she entered the Project, Marilyn mentored Mack. He seemed oblivious to her trying to be available to him. “Mack, let’s get you started with Linda, but hear me out, as I’m going to proposition you, sort of.” That got Mack’s interest. “I don’t want you to go sexually crazy if Linda encourages you a little. At the same time, be prepared if Linda isn’t really interested sexually. After all, this is a mental hospital. She may well be traumatized about men, or some other symbolism.

“No, I don’t plan to take your virginity, but I want you to have some experience. Oh, at some time in the future, by mutual consent, I do want to fuck you, but I’d like your first time to be with someone closer to your age.

“Let’s go outside and walk for a bit before sunset.”

Mack asked her, “Aren’t you cold?”

“Why do you ask? This is a nice warm coat.”

“Well, yes, but you’re obviously wearing a dress underneath. Your legs aren’t covered by the coat. Aren’t they cold?”

●●●

Marilyn reflected that he was making it easy for her. “Let’s go sit and talk in the gazebo, which is rather private.” When they sat, she crossed her legs, the coat and skirt rising high. She didn’t pull them down. “Reach out and touch my legs. Are they warm?”

“Why, yes!” He was only touching her calves. “I want you to make sure. Move your hand higher. Be sure that all of my legs are warm.”

“Oh, my. You are so warm.” Mack flushed and started to pull his hand away.

Smiling, and breathing heavily, Marilyn grasped his wrist. “Mack, dear, I like this. I like this a lot, having your hand on me. Do my stockings feel nice?”

“Oh, yes. Very silky.”

She pulled on his wrist. “Now, explore my bare skin. Is it even warmer?”

“Wow. Yes.” She looked down, confirming her suspicion his groin was bulging.

“OK, a little more for now. I’m going to pull your hand between my legs. Leave my panties in place for tonight but feel me through them. They are very thin. Can you feel my mound?”

“Yes! Yes! Are you sure it’s OK?”

“Yes, my dear. Let me say this firmly: I want you. I want you to feel that, but more and more in the future. Right now, try to feel my lips separating my mound. Someday, you’ll be touching bare skin. But now...” She leaned forward and touched his groin. Within a few seconds, his hips lurched, and she felt him pulsating. “Oh, that’s nice. Don’t be embarrassed. In fact, I’m going to turn away a little. Reach inside and scoop up some of your ejaculate and feed it to me.”

“Back to my apartment. I’ll bet you’ll be recovered and ready by the time we get there.” Once there, Marilyn directed, “Mack, give me your hand. Remember, I want you.“ She slid it under her dress, across the especially nice-feeling hose she had selected carefully before finding Mack. She pressed it against the warm skin above her stocking. He gasped. She started giving him hot, wet, passionate kisses that he would remember years later. Marilyn took his hand and ground it against her panty-covered mound, squeezing his wrist with her thighs. “Dear, this is a warmup. I’ve got to set up some details, but I look forward to my initiating you such that you, me, and even Linda are delighted. Want to masturbate together for a bit?”

“Is the Pope a Jesuit?”

“Yeah.” We arranged comfortable loveseats facing one another. “I’ll bet it will be naughtier to look at me up my skirt, than stripped.” She stood. “Come over here and remove my panties. It’s probably the first time you’ve done that. No magical tricks to it, but I have my garters under the panties. Some idiots put them over the panties, which can leave a tangled mess.

“Oh, before you do that, I can see you’re stretching your pants. Why don’t you undress for me?” Marilyn, grinning, hummed stripper music. Mack got the idea and did an amateur but enthusiastic strip. Naked, he removed her panties.

“OK, wench, sit back and spread.” Marilyn happily did so.

“Oh, Merlin, that is a nice cock. It’ll probably grow some, but don’t listen to people that say size is everything. Hell, I can enjoy one that fits easily into my mouth.” He jerked harder at her words. “You’re about the right thickness now, to make me feel full. Too much thicker and you’d hurt in my ass. Someday, you’ll be in there.” With that, he groaned and started to spurt. She lunged forward to catch what she could on her face, cleaning it off with tongue and finger, and swallowing. He got up and kissed her thoroughly.

“Depending on what happens, we’ll do this again, sooner or later. Maybe you’ll do it with Linda. Maybe you’ll do it with Linda and me. Maybe it’ll just be me. Maybe we’ll teleport someone from Hollywood.”

Bonobo Interrupts

Mack met with some of the bonobo team, who were investigating improvements to EMDR. Sally told him that she worked with both regular treatment at Moses, but also in the research program spawned by the hospital. “Mack, to understand what we’re doing, you need to understand more of the theory of EMDR. Early research in trauma postulated that both positive and negative associations may disappear into their own memory systems. Another theory is that the bilateral stimulus overloads the memory of trauma.

“Francine Shapiro, the inventor, started from an observation that when she was triggered, her eyes began to move quickly. If she brought the eye movement under voluntary control, she became less anxious. The eyes, she thought, gave insight into the balance between excitatory and inhibitory signaling, which is associated with different neurotransmitters.

“We take it a step farther. The external stimulus -- blinking, tapping, buzzing, etc., is fairly neutral. Bonobo physical contact, however, is conflict-reducing, pleasurable, and bonding. What if bonobo movement could be used to introduce its own effects as well as the eye motion.

After Sharon, who had been trained in the method as a nurse-therapist, had an idea, they started looking into whether BP touching might substitute for the physical method of distraction use have for methods used in EMDR, or especially the hand tapping in the related Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Some therapists don’t like hand tapping because they think there should be no physical contact between patient and therapist, but we disagree with that.

Nevertheless, it was decided that Sharon, Lisa, and Gloria could generate bilateral stimuli, under the direction of the EMDR therapist. Eventually, Marilyn would join in, after she fully transitioned to the Project. Sharon giggled. “Mark, you must really be an animal in bed. After all, two-thirds of the stimulus teams are beautiful veterinarians.”

While Mack wasn’t particularly interested in submission, his mind wandered to being held down by beautiful women and having several take turns sitting on his face. At some point, he’d have to share the fantasy, probably starting with Marilyn. While he might be physically inexperienced, his fantasy life was robust.

“It’s time for a demonstration.” Janice made a phone call. Lisa, Gloria, and Sharon soon joined them. As they walked in, they hip-bumped. Their physical presentations were attention-getting. Gloria said, “There’s no accident there are three women for one male client. That allows one of us to play with him while the other two inspire them. I’m the tallest person in the room, which also means I have the longest legs.” Gloria also had unique breasts: substantial, but jutting out, unsupported, from her chest. This let her breast-bump with great flair. The others certainly could hump her legs.

“Mack, visualize your aunt telling you her definition of rape. What do you feel?”

“I remember her smirking, her looking superior, her enjoying making me feel guilty.” He began to breathe faster. Janice signaled, and Gloria moved behind him and sharply pressed her breasts against his head.

“What do you feel now, Mack?”

“I still see her gloating, but I’m realizing that was something she wanted for herself.” Gloria tapped his head again.

Janice said, “I see new stress in your face. What are you experiencing?”

“Now I remember my fear that if I didn’t let her make me feel guilty, she’d tell my uncle, and I’d be beaten.”

“Acknowledge that’s what you remembered and that was hidden.” She noticed him breathing faster and signaled to Lisa and Sharon. They smiled at one another and began to breast-bump and hug. “Notice how Lisa and Sharon are signaling to one another in a calming way. Remember that image when you feel stressed. Remember how it de-escalates your tension. Sit comfortably and clear your mind.” When she saw his face relax, she had Gloria tap him again, reinforcing the tension release.

She explored how Rita had had adult friends join them and tell Mack similar guilt-inducing things. She repeated the procedure of having him remember, asking Gloria to break up those thoughts, and reinforcing the calming imagery he could bring up. When she asked him what he was thinking, he mentioned, “Lynne never made me feel guilty. She was consistently supportive, except when my uncle frightened her. Now that I think about her, I think about finding her naked pictures, and worrying that if he discovered it, he would beat me.”

“Acknowledge the memory.” Gloria tapped him until the feeling lessened. “Now think about Lynne’s warmth.” When she saw his face relax and take on a soft smile, she first cued Sharon and Lisa to act out happiness. Janice had Gloria tap him to help him remember that imagery. “You can recall that happy image whenever you need it.”

“I see Lynne’s face, sweet and gentle. I feel certain that she would have liked knowing that I admired the pictures of her. She thought of sex as very positive.”

A Trip Home

Mack’s development was going to be tested, with a visit home, requested by his mother. He would test himself to see if he could avoid conflict with his mother, although he never wanted to go back. In addition, and perhaps more importantly, he intended to confront his abuser.

Mom met him at the airport and gave him a gentle hug that didn’t embarrass him. “Son, I don’t want conflict. I realize you’re close to being an adult, and I need to respect that -- and you need to reciprocate. Let’s just have a nice dinner, and we’ll talk about accomplishments. I promise, I won’t get on your case. Don’t get on mine.

Mack laughed when he saw where she was taking him to dinner: the Valhalla, a smorgasbord-themed restaurant. “Remember how as a kid, you tried to see how many plates of food you could put away?”

“To be honest, my stomach twinges at that.”

“Neither one of us, I’m sure, will forget the Great Dessert Fire.”

Mack burst out laughing. He was feeling a lot closer to his mother. “Oh, yes. I thought those brown cubes on the buffet were caramels, but they turned out to be some Scandinavian cheese colored with hot peppers.”

“You were desperate, but utterly logical. You ran to a waiter station, grabbed a pitcher of water, and drained it.”

“That wasn’t enough. I looked around and then tried to take a fire extinguisher off the wall and shoot myself. At eight or so, that would have been heavy enough to knock me down, to say nothing of what the contents might have done.” They enjoyed laughing together.

In the morning, she told him, “I know you tried to tell me that Hank had done unwelcome things to you. I didn’t believe you. At this point, I’ll simply say that I believe something bad happened and I should have trusted you.

“You’ve got something to resolve with him. Please don’t do it in a way that puts anyone in jail.”

“Good advice.”

Hank, his abuser, had asked him to meet for lunch at Hank’s office. He was the public relations person for a beauty training school. Mack found it ironic that a male homosexual ephebophile spent his time surrounded by women, often very attractive one. Hank himself was very good-looking, so there was little question about his sexual identification.

“I’m just going to have a deli spread delivered to the office, so we don’t have to fight crowds.” Mack wasn’t surprised that when he started to make a sandwich, Hank moved behind him, rubbing an erection against Mack’s buttocks and reaching around to fondle his genitals. Much to Hank’s surprise, and somewhat to Mack’s own, he bent forward sharply, balanced Hank on his hip, and levered such that he put the larger man onto his shoulder, head down.

“Hank,” Mack explained calmly, you have several choices. You can choose for me to drop you on your head. You can choose for me to throw you to the ground, with options of merely having your shoulder dislocated or your elbow broken as well. Since your legs will be spread as you drop, you can opt to have me kick you between them. As you used to ask me, what do you think the French would do? I refer, of course, to French torturers in the Algerian War.”

Mack impressed himself with his calm, and also credible threat. It struck Mack that he was exploring the physical and emotional gestalt. He supposed it had to encompass sexuality, possibly on the boundary between physical and emotional.