Chapter 46: You’ve Gotta Be Kidding Me

I knew that my wives were there, but their voices sounded different, and I never did see their faces. What was going on?

I have no idea how long I was sitting there before there came a gently rapping on the bathroom door. I was too freaked out to answer.

“Paul?” That was Erin’s voice. My blonde wife.

“Baby?” That was Blossom, my Texas wife.

“Paul? Open the door please.” That was Lynn, my first wife.

I wondered which voice would be next.

“Paul, you’re scaring us. Please open the door.” It was still Lynn’s voice. I struggled to stand on shaky legs and went to the door.

“Lynn?”

There was a sigh and several voices.

“Yes, Lover. It’s me. Please open the door.”

I looked around the bathroom. I was alone. No other voices. No other naked women. I was alone. For now. I unlocked the door and slowly opened it a crack and peeked out to find three very upset women standing there.

“Paul?”

“Lynn.”

“Lover, what happened? You said it happened again. What happened again?”

“The different voices. The different women. It happened again.”

“Come on out. We need to talk.” Lynn said quietly as she pushed on the door.

I didn’t let it open too far.

“Paul, please come out. We’re scared.”

“You’re scared! Three woman with different voices just tried to make love to me.”

“Paul, come on out and lay on the bed and tell us all about it. Please.” Lynn’s voice was both pleading and soothing at the same time.

I gave in and cautiously opened the door all the way and stepped out, looking at the bed and ceiling and anywhere the other women could be hiding. Lynn had me by the hand and led me to the bed where I sat, soon to be surrounded by very concerned women.

“Paul? You need to start talking right now or I am going to smack the cowboy shit out of you for scaring Lynn and Blossom.” Erin stood before me, an imposing figure, with her tight fists resting on her ample hips and her huge breasts heaving on and off her large belly with each breath. Add to that the fire that was apparent in her beautiful blue eyes and I could do nothing less than begin to talk.

“Ok, it started with the saving Lynn’s babies thing. Three different voices talked to me, but they were from you three. Just now I woke up, or I thought I had woken up, and had the back of a bald head on my chest, the back of a dark haired head on my stomach, and the back of a blonde head on my thighs. Because of the heads, I couldn’t see it, but I felt that I had a throbbing morning woody.”

“It finally got too difficult to hold in the need to pee and I shifted slightly. Then, all at the same time, I felt tongues and lips, kissing and licking my thighs, stomach, and chest. It felt wonderful and it almost made me forget that I really needed to pee. So I said “Good morning. I hate to break up this party, but I need to pee.” and then three different voices all said “OK.” and “I hate to move.” and “I just want to stay here.” But none of them were your voices and I never saw your faces and then I laid my head back and it felt like I was knocked back out, but it only seemed like I was out for a second, or more like the blink of an eye.”

“Just before that the Babies had dreamed to me. They said that I really did save them. They said that the cord was strangling my son and he couldn’t get it from around his neck.”

“No! That’s not what they said!” Lynn interrupted me. “They dreamed to me too and that’s not what they said. They said that the cord was strangling your son and your son could not free it.”

“That’s what I said!”

“No you didn’t. You said that your son couldn’t get the cord off of his neck.”

“It’s the same thing!”

“Paul! I wanted to tell you in the worst way and you asked me not to, but you need to know. When I went in for my first ultrasound, Georgia told me I was having a boy and a girl and she showed me the pictures. I could see the boys penis and the girls vagina. But then when we went back after they told you they were saved and Georgia did another ultrasound.”

“I remember that she looked almost scared when she came out.” I said hesitantly.

“Yeah, I was shocked too. The pictures showed two little penises.”

“Well she must have made an error with one of the tests.”

“I have the pictures. Would you like to see them?”

“No.” I answered really fast.

“Paul, the fact is that at some point my babies were changed from being a boy and a girl to being two boys and after that change, one of your son’s umbilical cord got wrapped around your other son’s neck and they called for help.”

“This has just gotten too fucking weird.” I said and I fell back on the bed unconscious.

“They were going to die.” I mumbled as I came to. “THEY WERE GOING TO DIE!” I screamed as I sat up in bed.

Lynn grabbed me and held me and began to rock me.

“I know. I know, Lover.” Lynn said quietly. “Georgia told me that it can happen with twins. She has seen it when one baby is strangled by the cord and both die.”

Lynn pulled my head down onto her thighs with the back of my head resting against her belly. Erin was sitting on one side of me and Blossom on the other, and I was about to get up when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.” Erin said.

Margaret, Paula, Penelope, Genevieve and Erin Lynn came into our bedroom, all of them looking like they had just awaken and all looking very concerned. Without hesitation, and very unusually, they all climbed on the bed with us and cuddled to the closest parent they could reach.

“The Babies dreamed that Daddy was in trouble.” Margaret began.

“They said that they were in danger and he saved them.” Paula added.

“But that it scared him real bad.” Penelope finished.

“Girls, did the Babies tell you about the change?” Lynn asked.

“Yes. They told us it was a secret.” Genevieve said in her tiny voice.

“Well, it’s not a secret any more. Your daddy knows that I am having two boys.” Lynn said.

“You are?” Margaret asked.

“Yes. Isn’t that the secret?” Lynn asked.

“No.” Paula said.

“What!?” Lynn was now the shocked one.

“Mother, we can’t tell you the secret. The Babies said not to.” Erin Lynn pleaded. “Don’t be mad at us. Please.”

Lynn reached out for her two little redheads and they climbed across the bed and sat on either side of her as she embraced them and held them. I looked up over Lynn’s belly and when I couldn’t see anything, I sat up. Turning I saw Lynn and our girls crying and holding each other tightly.

“Genevieve and Erin Lynn. I am getting upset that the two of you,” I turned to look at Erin and her three blondes, “or you three, would ever think that we would EVER be mad at you over something like this. Another of the reasons I am upset, is that the Babies scared and hurt me, and you never do that to people you love.”

The little blondes climbed across the bed and Paula and Penelope cuddled to Erin, and Margaret, surprisingly, cuddled to Blossom and latched onto one of her breasts. I sat there, uncuddled, and looked at the scene before me.

“Girls, what can you tell me? I mean there have been strange voices talking to me and now that a baby has changed again, it makes me a little crazy.”

Margaret looked at me from her spot at her Blossom Mom’s breast. She released the nipple and knee walked to me and hugged me tight.

“Daddy, the Babies love you. They want you to be happy. They want the moms to be happy too. Lynn Mom lost her baby boy, so he is back.” Margaret said.

“But there are two boys.” I said.

“Yes.” She nodded.

“Why?”

“That is the secret.” Margaret said as she cuddled on my lap and laid her head against my chest.

“Why have there been different voices talking to me?”

“That is a secret, too.”

“It feels like it is a bad secret.”

“No Daddy! It is a good secret.”

“Well, Margaret Erin, the next time you,” I looked at the other girls, “or any of you talk to them. Let them know that I am not happy.”

“Yes Daddy. Can we have breakfast now?”

I looked at Erin and Lynn and each mom had a girl on a nipple.

“It looks like your sisters are already having breakfast.”

Margaret laughed and hugged me.

“You’re funny Daddy. I’m hungry for oatmeal with cimmimum and raisins.” Margaret smiled.

“The word is cinn-a-mon, my little love.” I said.

“I know. I was joking. Blossom Mom told me it was funny to say it that way.”

I looked at Blossom and her two empty breasts and I was so tempted to suggest to Margaret that we each take one of Blossom’s nipples, instead I opened my mouth and laughed.

“Good joke. Let’s go down and have oatmeal with cimmimum and raisums.” I mispronounced both words and that made Margaret react with a lovely giggle.

I turned in time to catch a flying Margaret and a loving Latina. Margaret kissed me on the cheek and Blossom kissed me on the lips. The other girls broke their attachment to their mothers and wiggled off the bed and out the door. Erin and Lynn stood and wrapped me in a hug, with each of them giving Margaret and me a kiss.

I headed out the door, with an armful of blonde little girl and a butt full of pats and strokes and pinches from my following wives. I was starting to feel happy again as I remembered the words of the Babies to me when I told them that I didn’t understand. They answered that I never would. That reminded me of an old song...”Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and I felt happier.

“Are you upset that you know about my two babies gender?” Lynn asked tentatively.

“No. I actually feel pretty happy.”

“Happy?”

“Yeah. Happy for you. You lost one son and are getting back two. I’m not going to sweat the mystical Babies’ reason for what happened or why. You’ll have your sons and I’ll have my family around me.”

“Are you happy Daddy?” Margaret asked me.

“I hope that the Babies never scare me like this again, but yeah, I can only think of a few things that would make me happier.”

“What, Daddy?”

“That, my little love is MY secret.” I kissed Margaret on her head and dug into my breakfast oatmeal.

We had finished the breakfast clean up when I noticed the clock. It was almost time to head to the Club-Club for band rehearsal. I was putting the binders with my lyric sheets in my briefcase when the phone rang. I heard one of the wives pick up and I was just about to go and kiss the family good bye when I heard a scream.

I dropped everything and ran into the family room to find Lynn jumping around the couch with Erin and her breasts seemingly jumping up and down in a rhythm all their own. Blossom was clapping as she sat with William at her breast. That boy sure like sucking on his mothers tit. Like father, right?

“What’s going on? That scream almost made me pee.”

“Paul! Bosco and Teri want to get married here in two weeks!” Lynn was almost screaming again.

“About damn time! I assume that you will make all the arrangements and let me know when I need to say ‘yes ma’am’ and so on.”

“Yup. AND...” she looked at me with her evil grin.

“And?” I should be really scared from that grin.

“And ... Teri has given the Brothers permission for a bachelor party and you get to plan it!”

“ME!? I’m gonna die!”

“Why?” My bald wife tilted her head to one side.

“Because if I do anything ‘traditional’ like strippers, you three and Teri are going to kill me. I guess we could do a pottery class.”

“Paul. Who said anything about no strippers?” Lynn said and then giggled.

“So we can have strippers?” I tried really hard to not be excited; not for me, of course, for the Brothers.

“No.” Lynn answered.

“Shit!”

“Daddy! That is one of the bad words!” Paula said.

“I’m sorry girls. I really am,” I hung my head. I hated to act badly around my girls.

“It’s OK Daddy. We still love you.”

“Thank you Paula Erin. I would be sad forever if you didn’t.”