Chapter 42: Family Stories and Pride

Lynn drove the bus onto the street and we headed for Central Washington. The route was going to go through a couple of passes, but promised very little in bad road conditions and would only take about six and a half hours. If we had more experience driving the bus and it was in the Spring or Summer, we could have taken the real mountain route which took eight hours.

The Princess Bride started and the girls all repeated their usual behavior and booed the bad guys and cheered the good guys. I sat behind Lynn with Erin, while Blossom sat back with the babies and calmed them. I guess we didn’t stop to think about the road and motor noises and they were a little freaked out when we started.

Blossom had them calmed and soon she turned their seats to face the tinted windows so they could watch the scenery fly by. Lynn was a very competent driver and the drive was really smooth for the first two hours.

“Two hours, Lover!” Erin called to Lynn.

“OK.”

At the next available stop, which was a truck stop, Lynn pulled over and parked then she got out of the drivers seat and stretched and kissed Erin, Blossom and me, in that order and Erin took over. The girls got out of their seats and stretched, went to the bathroom, loaded up on water and snacks before resuming their places and putting on their seat belts.

“Ok, my little loves, what movie is next?” I asked.

They were all suspiciously quiet and I had a feeling.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Margaret Erin?”

“Can we watch “The Princess Bride” again?”

“Really?” I must have rolled my eyes.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Penelope Erin.”

“Would you please pick out a movie for us?” The little blond asked.

“Are you sure? I might pick something really weird.” I smiled and waggled my eyebrows at them.

The girls, even Margaret, responded with a resounding “Yes!”

I was in a joking mood, so I figured what the heck. I pulled out the disk carrier, picked out one of my favorite movies. I put the disc in the players tray and closed it.

Blossom and Lynn had checked the girl’s seat belts, secured the babies, and were in their seats. Lynn shouted out that they were ready. Erin finished making adjustments to the seat to make room for her larger body and her wonderful massive breasts. She eased us back out onto the highway and off we went. Just as we got up to speed, I hit the play button on the remote control and the bus was filled with a loud monstrous noise.

“Daddy! What is that?” Margaret said sounding a little scared.

“My little loves, THAT is Godzilla!”

“Paul! You didn’t,” Lynn said.

“Yeah I did.”

My bald wife shook her head and gave me a kiss.

“This thing drives great! I wouldn’t want to do a fast road course with it, but it is responsive and it stops and goes really well,” Lynn said, pleased with our new toy.

“Sounds like my husband,” Blossom said from across the aisle.

“Mine too, now that I think about it.” Erin chuckled and held a fist behind her to bump with her bald wife.

As it turned out the girls had a great time watching Godzilla and kept laughing because the words and mouths didn’t work together. Every two hours we switched drivers and on my shift, six hours later, with only about 40 minutes to go, the moms all began feeding the babies. The babies were each in a sling, latched onto a mom’s nipple, except for William. Margaret was just as happy as she could be to hold William and feed him his bottle. She and William were developing a great relationship.

“We’re almost there. Are the babies done feeding?” I asked as I saw the road sign showing that we were 5 miles from our destination.

“William’s done,” Margaret announced. “Where do I change him?”

“Blossom Mom will show you the table we installed, my love,” Erin told her.

“Can we hold off on that until we stop the bus? We are getting into traffic and I may have to do a sudden stop,” I said.

“Good idea, Baby. Margaret, please give William to me and take your seat,” Blossom said.

Blossom carefully put William in his car seat, and then took her own seat, while I steered the bus down the city streets towards my brother’s house.

“Lover, if you drive around the block to the right and then take three lefts, you will be able to park the bus right in front of Sam’s house and not across the street,” Lynn instructed.

“OK. Lynn, do you want to call Sam and let him know we are here?” I asked.

“I already did, Sweetie! I can’t wait to meet your brother,” Erin was bouncing in her seat.

I commented, seeing her bouncing in the rear view mirror. “Erin, my brother is a pastor and his wife, Lorraine, is a wonderful woman, but I’m not sure that they can handle your bouncing.”

“Oh! You’re right! I’m going to put on a more sturdy bra.” She walked towards the back of the bus.

I steered around the block and took a clean straight path to the front of Sam’s house. I glided the bus into its spot and stopped with the door centered right on the walkway from the sidewalk to the street.

I shut down the engine and got out of the drivers seat, standing in front of the door. Blossom and Lynn were getting the kids out of their car seats. The five of them stretched in the aisle and you could see their excitement building.

Lynn started giving out instructions. “Girls, the first thing we need to do is get the baby’s strollers out from under the bus. Then we can walk to the door and see if your Uncle Sam is home.”

“Uncle Sam? What’s an uncle?” Margaret asked.

“An uncle is the brother of your parent. In this case Uncle Sam is your daddy’s brother. His wife is your Aunt Lorraine,” Blossom replied.

The girls got off the bus and Lynn opened the bay door on the sidewalk side of the bus. She pulled out the strollers and expanded them. Erin began to bring babies out and handed them to Lynn. Lynn put them in the strollers and the older girls stood ready to help strap their siblings in.

Amy Erin, Beth Erin and Clara Erin went in the triple stroller. Martha Lynn and Wanda Lynn were in a double. Gwenyth Blossom and William Blossom were in the third double.

I then asked a favor. “OK, I have a favor to ask. Would you girls all go and stand with your moms, please?”

Margaret, Erin, Penelope Erin and Paula Erin gathered around their big blonde mother. Genevieve Lynn and Erin Lynn stood on either side of Lynn. And I went and stood with Blossom.

“Let’s go and scare my brother to death!”

I rang the doorbell and waited for the door to open. When it did, the booming voice of my little brother sounded out like a fog horn.

“Hi big brother! Come on in. Did you bring the family?”

“I thought Lynn had called you and told you,” I was about to turn towards Lynn.

“Told me what? Hey, where did the bus ... come ... from ... is that your bus?”

“Yeah Sam. I need it for the Herd.”

“The herd?” He asked with a hint of concern.

“Yeah, that is how we refer to ourselves in public. Before we come in I want to make sure that you are not going to get any flack from your church or friends.”

“Why would I get flack? Because of a couple of wives?”

“Three.”

“Three? When did that happen?”

“Almost two years ago.”

“Still not keeping the family up to speed on stuff, huh?” Sam looked at me and shook his head, woefully.

“Hi Lorraine,” I said as my sister-in-law walked up behind my brother.

“Sam, are you going to invite Paul in?” She smiled and reached out for a welcoming hug.

“Lorraine, I was just asking if the circumstance of my family is going to cause you guys a problem in church.”

“It better not. We are supposed to be Christians. We’re supposed to love the sinner and since we are ALL sinners, what can they say? Where are my nieces?” Lorraine was a strong woman.

“And nephew,” I added.

“Nephew?” Sam asked.

“I just figured out that I haven’t been as forthcoming keeping you guys up with current events,” I said.

“Current events? How about the past two plus years events?” Sam said.

“Hush, Sam.” Lorraine took command with a big Nordic smile. “Paul, bring them in and let’s get this over with.”

“OK, Lynn!” I called to Lynn who came forward with her little red-headed girls and her two red-headed babies. She was also wearing her red-haired wig.

“This is Lynn O’Dell, my first wife, and these are our daughters, Genevieve Lynn and Erin Lynn, and the babies Martha Lynn and Wanda Lynn.”

“Come on in Lynn. Hello girls!” Lorraine held out her arms for welcoming hugs.

“Hello Aunt Lorraine.” The girls said in unison scoring huge family cute points with their aunt.

Lynn rolled the stroller into Sam’s house and was wrapped up in a family hug by my brother and my sister-in-law.

“This is my second, and our, wife. Erin O’Dell. And this is our eldest, Margaret Erin.”

“Hello Margaret.” Lorraine said holding out her arms for a hug and getting a good one. “And these blonde beauties are the twins, Penelope Erin and Paula Erin.” Hugs again.

“And the girls in the stroller are the triplets, Amy Erin, Beth Erin and Clara Erin.”

Sam just stood there shaking his head as Lorraine was kissing the babies with a joyful and amazed look on her face.

“And finally, this is our newest wife, Blossom O’Dell, and her two babies, Gwenyth Blossom and William Blossom.” Blossom rolled the stroller into the house as I spoke and Blossom was welcomed with more hugs and the babies with more kisses.

“And, Sam, you can see that all three of these wonderful women are pregnant. Lynn and Erin with twins again and Blossom with a single. Now do you understand why we call ourselves the Herd and why I’m concerned about your church?”

Sam just stood there looking at the Herd. Before he could say a word, Lorraine jumped in.

“It has been over three weeks since we had babies in the house. We have three grand kids.”

“Lorraine, I’m sorry, but Paul has never told us how many kids you have. He just said that he was hoping the kids would be around.” Lynn asked.

“Well, Lynn, we have six, three of each flavor! Five are married and three have one baby each. They all live around Seattle or Spokane. And, they will be here this evening. The word is that they want to see me cook for more than eight.”

“We’ll be happy to help.” Erin said.

“Us too!” Margaret said as she and her two sisters stepped forward.

“Oh my goodness.” Lorraine smiled again.

“The girls are notorious helpers.” I said proudly. “So back to the original concern, the folks in the church tomorrow the morning...”

Lorraine cut me off. “ ... will be no problem! Will they, Sam?”

My brother silently shook his head. “This has to be the best family story ever.”

“Sam! After thinking about this, I’ve come to the conclusion that all of this,” I waved my arm around my family, “is your fault.”

“Oh this call for seats and drinks.” Lorraine said with a huge grin. “But first, is there anything the girls like to drink?”

“Aunt Lorraine, we drink unsweetened ice tea and orange juice.” Paula, amazingly spoke up first.”

“Lorraine, we have drinks in the bus. Let me run out and get some.” Erin said.

Lorraine stopped her in the middle of her first step. “Erin, come with me and we’ll get a wagon in the garage and bring in as much as we might need.”

Lorraine led my big blonde wife further into the house with her. I thought that Erin and Lorraine looked like sisters. Lorraine was also 5’10”, and while she was not nearly as busty, Lorraine’s blond appearance could be described as sister-like. The two tall moms disappeared through the door to their garage and Sam turned back to me, still quiet as a mouse.

“Sam, are you OK?” I asked.

“Paul? It was the electric fence, wasn’t it?” He answered.

“I think so.”

“What electric fence?” Blossom asked.

“Baby, it’s one of our family stories. We’ll tell you about it later.” I said with a twinkle in my eye.

Sam looked at the five girls all standing there politely quiet.

“Girls?” He asked for their attention.

“Yes Uncle Sam?” Penelope replied.

Sam smiled at that.

“They don’t know that joke, do they?” Sam smiled at me remembering the laughs I had over him being called Uncle Sam way back when Michael and Beth had been born.

“No.” I said with a small smile.

“Girls, if you go down to the basement, I think that you will find a ton of stuff to play with.” Sam said in a very fatherly way.

“May we Daddy?” Margaret asked.

“Yes, my little love. Maybe Blossom Mom will go with you.”

“Blossom Mom, would you like to come with us?”

“Yes, I would Genevieve Lynn. Thank you for asking. Sam, where is the basement?”

“Second door to the left, right next to the bathroom.” Sam said pointing the way.

Blossom headed for the door with five little girls trailing along.

“Lover, do you need any help with anything?” I asked Lynn.

“No Paul. Well a chair would be nice.” She said as she stood there rolling the three strollers back and forth, each in turn.

“I’m so sorry! Lynn, let’s roll the babies into the dining room and you can sit there and have some room for the strollers to move.”

We each took a stroller and rolled them into the living room. Lynn sat and then went back to attending our babies. Sam and I sat with her and Sam just smiled and watched as the redhead beamed in her role of mom.

“Paul?” Lynn asked as she nodded her head to quietly ask me to come to her.

“Yes, Lover.”

Lynn whispered her question to me. “I’m getting a little hot. Do you think they would mind if I took off this wig?”

“I’ll ask.”

Just then Erin and Lorraine came rolling into the house with their wagon-load of drinks.

“Ask what?” Lorraine said.

“Lynn would like to take off her wig, but doesn’t know if it will upset you. She has some tattoos.”

“Lynn, my other new sister, of course you can. Where is Blossom?”

“Thanks.” Lynn answered as she removed the gorgeous thick red-haired wig. “Blossom is in the basement with the girls.”

“Oh my! You look completely different. And very pretty. Why wear the wig?” Lorraine asked.

“I guess it is a matter of social convention. We get enough looks in public from having so many kids.”

“Lynn, you are not in public you are in your family’s home. Do the same things here as you do at home.”

Erin chuckled at that before she stopped herself and turned red.

“What happened?” Lorraine asked.

“Well, since we’re all family ... at home we don’t wear a lot of clothes.” Erin said shyly.