I don’t know why. I was at breakfast and she looked at me and said those clichéd words.

“Mick, we need to talk.”

“Well, it is a beautiful day and I had a good night’s sleep, so what do we need to talk about?”

“This is going to hurt you, Mick, but I am leaving you for another man.”

“Why?”

“I just need to. I’m sorry, I’ve tried for the past two years, but I can take it anymore.”

“Can’t take it anymore? What does that mean?”

“It means that I have had enough. I’m tired of having to put up with your dick. I need the dick of a real man.”

“A real man?”

“Yes. A man with a real dick.”

“Have you got him picked out yet?”

“Yes.”

“And who is he?”

“You don’t know him. I met him at work. We have been out on a couple of dates already.”

“By dates, you mean that you have fucked him already.”

“Don’t be crude, Mick.”

“Crude? Does he know that you are married?”

“I told him.”

“And he still agreed to fuck you. He sounds like a real piece of shit.”

“He is a good man.”

“He is a piece of shit for fucking another mans’ wife.”

“I loved it too. His cock was wonderful.”

“How wonderful will it be when I cut it off and shove it down his throat?”

“Don’t you dare. He makes me happy. Happier than you ever did.”

I looked at her. I looked deep into her eyes.

“What happened to us? How do you turn off love? Or was it just lust?”

“I loved you. I really did, but I just needed a man with something better. He is better, for me. I’m sorry Mick. I guess I’ve been sounding like a real bitch. Mick, I’m sorry, but I just need a different dick inside me. Something I can feel when it moves in and out.”

“And I don’t do it for you anymore. What if I tell you that I will find the guy you are fucking and tell you that I will beat him until he is worthless. I’ll put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.”

“You hate me that much? You would rather see me with you and unhappy than with a man who makes me feel alive again?”

“I’ll make you a deal, Deb. I’ll let you go and not mess up the piece of shit you’re leaving me for on one condition.”

“What is that?”

“Find your replacement.”

“What?”

“You found a replacement for me, so go out and find a replacement for you. You know what I have to offer, find me a woman who is looking for that, who might be able to fall in love with me and stay that way. Find me a woman who will keep her marital vows.”

“That is not fair, Mick.”

“Fair? The fair is where you buy deep fried Twinkies. I hate that word. There is no fair. If there was you would still be mine. If there was fair, you would accept my offer and we could both be happy. There is one more thing, you don’t fuck anyone until I do.”

“If you are serious, I agree.”

“Deal.”

Well, its been two months later, the divorce papers have been drawn up and wait only for Deb to fulfill her part of the deal. To top it off, Deb was just as horny as a goat, a great motivator. I had been doing without since Deb had found her man, so I was doing OK with Rosy. I woke up with my usual morning wood and rolled over to accidentally touch Deb’s butt.

“Stop it.”

“Sorry, it was an accident.”

We got up and she showered while I used the toilet. Her showers were always fast. I showered and took my dear sweet time. I had always like long hot showers. When I was dried and dressed, I went down to the kitchen for coffee and breakfast. Since our little come to Jesus meeting, we basically lived separate lives, so I made my own breakfast and was eating when Deb’s phone rang.

“Mick, I think I have found my replacement.”

I asked her to find her replacement, but I never really thought that she would. I just wanted her to stop fucking her lover. Now the reality was that she had found someone.

“So, tell me about her.”

“Her name is Cassie and I think that she will be able to deal with you and your issue. And it means that I can move on and be with the man I really love. He and I have been meeting and making out and not having sex. I kept my word, I really have, but I need to move on. I need his dick in me.”