Chapter 6: A Series of Unfortunate Events

Kali stood in the front yard, her dark eyes focused on the Radley house. She could see tell-tale signs of the Geas all around her like a giant, magical bubble that shifted away from her when she tried to pop it. She had been fascinated by the spell ever since she had heard about it, but had been warned away from trying to mess with it. While Emily was alive, any attempt to come near the house had ended in death for Society members after the fiasco with Garrett. After Emily had died, she and the others had tried to break in but the Geas had a failsafe for even that occasion, incinerating one of their newest members on the spot.

No, the time to strike was now, before Mike knew how to make the house defend itself. For whatever reason, he was holed up inside, doing nothing at all. Kali wondered how such a man had defeated Sarah. Her best guess was that the creatures inside had helped him, which made plenty of sense.

Coiled around her feet, a twenty two foot long python lifted its head, letting out a quiet hiss at someone approaching. Kali looked through the beast’s eyes to see a figure all in white limping toward her.

“Any luck?” Sebastien came up from behind her, a cup of coffee in one hand and his cane in the other. He leaned on it dramatically, holding the cup out for Kali to take.

“I have made some progress.” Kali took the coffee from Sebastien. “But not enough.”

Sebastien grinned. “I’m afraid all your hard work will be for naught. Right now, my homunculus is on its way over.”

“The agent?” Kali asked.

“Yes.” Sebastien pulled a small flask from his jacket. He poured a little in Kali’s coffee, then took a swig himself. “I’m surprised nobody else thought of it.”

“Nobody has quite the gift for artificial life that you do. What is Daryl up to? Since we were supposed to be working together, I figured he would check in first.”

Sebastien shook his head. “I’m not sure. He thinks he has a lead on a third party who has been inside the house. Such a simple spell, no? One cannot go inside without being invited.”

“It worked on vampires and some of the fae for centuries,” Kali noted. “I’m more interested in who was able to cast such a spell and have it apply to everyone who has never set foot inside.”

“We all have our theories.” Sebastien sipped from his flask, letting out a sigh. “Each theory has its own sub theories, and those theories are full of myths. It’s why I am so eager to crack the mystery of the house. Even the weakest of our theories guarantees that the house has powerful magic, ripe for the taking.”

“Which theory are you a fan of?” Kali asked. “Currently.”

“I was a pretty big advocate for the Fountain of Youth theory, but the fact that Caretakers keep dying says otherwise. I’m leaning more toward the Garden of Eden theory myself, but am also a fan of the theory that an Ancient One is chained up beneath the house.”

“Do you really think that an Ancient One could be held against its will?” Kali pursed her lips, blowing across the top of her coffee before taking a sip. It was good.

“Not really. It would, however, explain why this place is impenetrable. A single drop of blood from an Ancient One would contain the magic necessary to cast a spell as powerful as the Geas, and it would certainly fit why the house itself is full of so many strange creatures.” Sebastien chuckled. “How long have we been trying to crack the mystery of this place? I can’t remember the last time we had so much fun.”

Kali scowled. “Not long enough. If Garrett hadn’t stumbled upon us, we would never have even known this home was here.” That, too, was a function of the Geas. It did nothing to stand out. Earlier, she had done a blood ritual naked on the front lawn, summoning twenty foot tall pyres of fire to dance around the edges of the magical border. People walking on the sidewalk hadn’t given her a second look. The Society had spent several months interviewing locals, but, no matter how strange the tale being spread, nobody seemed to give the place a second thought. Despite their presence in the same city for several decades, it had taken a desperate man who had been kicked out of the home to bring it to their attention in the first place.

“Yes, well, if he hadn’t had such a hard-on for the last Caretaker, we could have all come here together. I hope the demon he sold his soul to for that magic wand reminds him of that on a daily basis while fucking him up the ass with a club.”

“You could contact that demon and make sure of it.” Kali grinned. “If you haven’t already.”

“Let’s just say the club is black, spiked with nails, and has my name carved into the handle.” Sebastien put away his flask. Golden rays were creeping across the sky from behind the house. “In just a few hours, we’ll be inside. I am sure of it.”

“I hope so.” Kali, however, was doubtful. She turned her attention back to the Geas, probing it gently with her magic. Sebastien was far more confident in his plan than she was, and she intended to keep trying it her way in the meantime. Down by her feet, the python flicked its tongue, wondering when it would be fed.

“So what do you think of my plan?” Mike asked. He was lying in the tub, his head nestled perfectly between Naia’s breasts. The sun was just starting to come up, casting crimson rays through his bedroom.

“I think it’s terrible, actually.” Naia’s hand was gently working the shaft of his cock, tendrils of water wrapped around his balls. She wasn’t trying to get him off. Rather, she was trying to assess the damage that the Mandragora had caused. Declaring that Mike’s sexual energy seemed off, a quick assessment prior to falling asleep had Naia declaring Mike unfit for duty until she could give him a full check. “I would far prefer not to get Jenny involved.”

Mike shrugged. “I don’t know that we have a choice. And to be honest, I think that we got off on the wrong foot to begin with. It makes so much more sense to give her another chance.”

“I want to try something.” Naia’s exploratory touches shifted, her grip tightening. “If I do, I want you to do your best not to cum. Do you think you can do that?”

“Easily.” Mike was too stressed out worrying about Tink, Abella, and Sofia. “What do you want to do?”

“Leave all the work to me.” Naia grinned, licking her lips hungrily. Moving one hand to the base of Mike’s shaft, she opened her mouth wide, letting her tongue circle the head of his cock before gently sucking him in with her mouth. Mike smiled at her, playfully twirling her blue and green locks in his fingers while her head bobbed up and down. Her gentle fingers tugged at the delicate skin of his scrotum, rolling his balls back and forth.

“Ngah!” Naia pulled her mouth off of him. “Your balls are bigger than they used to be.”

“Is that something I should have a doctor look at?” Mike asked.

“Oh god no. You should avoid doctors, actually.” Naia licked his frenulum, her tongue teasing the bottom of his shaft. “Unless you are bleeding to death or something. Otherwise, medical testing is off the table.”

“Why? Will they find that my genes are different or something?”

Naia stared at him, smiling through her eyes while her tongue swirled around the end of his cock. Mike felt his stomach tense, but easily dismissed it.

“No.” Naia worked his shaft now, pumping him with her hand and several tendrils of water. “They will find absolutely nothing wrong with you. That will start more questions than you care to answer.”

“Am I different though?” Mike stroked Naia’s head, guiding her back to his cock. “The soul exchange, my new danger sense. There’s no way I should be able to keep up with all of you sexually, but here we are.”

“Indeed.” Naia’s hands were glowing, a blue aura that spread across Mike’s lower body. “That would be the nymph magic. Able to please at a moment’s notice.”

“Then I am different.” Mike said.

“You are the same person you have always been. You’ve just been given certain ... gifts.” Her hands moving faster, Mike’s stomach tensed up and he felt an orgasm build in his gut. He pushed it back, but the sensation persisted, building up like static between them. Naia’s eyes were suddenly uncertain, her gaze fixated on the head of his cock.

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked, but Naia sucked him into her mouth, using the back of her throat to fellate him. Mike groaned, and Naia bobbed her head up and down even faster. He tightened his stomach, breathing deeply to hold back. The light radiated down his legs, creeping up toward his head. The bathroom lights flickered, the floor by the tub creaking as the pressure in the room built.

“Naia!” Mike’s whole body tensed up, but he fought back. Tiny spheres of water hovered up between them, sparkling with an inner light of their own. Naia pulled her head off the shaft of his penis, the room flooding with light as sparks flew between them, dancing across the surface of the water. Mike’s legs kicked out, splashing the bathroom with water. Naia looked up at the flickering lights as they crawled across the ceiling, migrating out to the rest of the house.

“What was that?” Mike asked.

“I don’t know.” Naia frowned. “That isn’t my magic.”

“Wait.” Mike sat up in the tub. “What do you mean it isn’t yours?”

“I think I summed it up.” Naia shrugged, her breasts rippling pleasantly in the water. “No idea. I was using a spell to assess your overall health, and that magic began to resonate with mine. It’s very wild, very old magic. It reminds me of my fountain when I was freshly created.” Naia’s eyes focused somewhere on the past. “I don’t know if it’s from the Mandragora, or something else.”

“Is it dangerous?” Mike asked.

“Not at all.” Naia raised a finger. Several of the sparks fell from the ceiling, dancing circles around her hand. “It seems familiar somehow, and-” One of the sparks touched Naia’s finger, and her whole body went rigid. “Oh. Oh!”

“What is it?”

Naia grinned. “Mike, did something happen between you and Cecilia?”

“A few times, but you know about that.” Mike shivered, the water suddenly cold. “Am I okay?”

“Yeah, you’re okay.” Naia splashed him. The water was suddenly warm again. “Cecilia has left a mark of her own on you. When you get a chance, you should ask her about it.”

“I’ll add it to the list of things I’ll try not to forget.” Mike stood, water running off his back. “I guess I’d better start my morning. Any last minute advice?”

Naia nodded. “Yeah. Don’t fuck up.”

“Thanks.” Mike tried to splash her back, but Naia had already disappeared beneath the water. He got out of the tub, throwing on a white shirt and his pants from yesterday. Pulling up on his jeans, something slipped out of the pocket, clattering on the floor.

“Oh.” Mike picked up the crystalline necklace, inspecting it for the first time. It was a pretty blue color, and it felt cool to the touch. He flicked off the lights in the bathroom and cupped his hands together. Peeking through a gap in his fingers, he confirmed that the stone was, in fact, glowing with an inner light of its own.

That figured. The witch Sarah had been wearing a magical necklace. But what did it do? He briefly debated putting it on to see what would happen, and was immediately assailed by an image of Tink smacking him on the back of the head. Granted, she would need to be standing on something, but the image was enough. He slipped it into his pocket, reminding himself to ask Naia about it later.

In the kitchen, he heated up a couple of Eggos, loading them up with butter, peanut butter, and then syrup. He wasn’t very hungry, his nerves on edge, but he knew that he would need the energy for what was coming next. Swallowing his breakfast in ungodly large bites, he casually tossed his plate in the sink, then walked over to the door just past the kitchen.

The door to the basement. Taking a deep breath, he walked down the long steps, wondering briefly just how far down they went. The basement itself wasn’t large, and the walls were all poured concrete. By the freezer, he knelt down and found the piece of chalk that Tink had left here. Drawing a door on the wall, he knocked on it, using the pattern that Tink had taught him.

His stomach dropped when nothing happened. Just as he got ready to knock again, the chalk lines glowed brightly and the door appeared before him. He pulled it open, staring at the strange treasures lining both sides of the wall. The Vault was supposed to be a storage place for the most dangerous of items in the house, but it looked more like an antique store that had gone to shit. An old music box, a conch shell with dried blood on it, and even an Elvis bobble head. He paused at this last one, leaning in for a closer look. As soon as he was near it, he saw the faint wobble of the over-sized head, and immediately backed away.

Careful not to touch anything, he crossed to the back of the room. Sitting inside of a glass display case was a creepy looking porcelain doll. The doll regarded him with cold, lifeless eyes.

“Hello Jenny.” Mike stood and waited, unsure if the doll would even speak with him. The last time he had dealt with Jenny had been an unmitigated disaster. Jenny had lost her temper, possessed Beth’s body, and attempted to kill him. He had spent all night thinking about how he could get into the Labyrinth, and he knew of only one person now who could get him in.

A minute passed, and then another. With no response, Mike continued. “So, I think we got off to a bad start. We’ve both had a chance to cool down, and I was hoping that, if you were interested, we could come to an agreement that means you aren’t just locked away in here. The house has plenty of room, and we could make a space just for you. One with a view, maybe? I don’t know exactly what it is that you want, but you had the chance to leave and never come back, yet you came here. There must be a reason.”

He waited another minute. The Vault was silent. He could hear the steady thudding of his heart in his ears, a gentle beat that seemed to echo from the walls of the room.

“Okay, well, I thought it would be worth a shot.” Mike turned around, carefully picking his way through the room.

“Wait.” Her voice echoed across the room, coming from several places at once. Frost accumulated on the walls, and the whole Vault creaked.

Turning around, Mike crossed his arms. “Okay Jenny. I’m listening.”

Several seconds passed, and Jenny remained silent. Mike was about to leave when he felt a chill wind pass through his body, grabbing him from behind the heart and pulling him forward. The room spun around him, the Vault disappearing from sight.

Mike stood in a small room, staring at the door that had been painted on the wall. He ran his fingers along it, his fingers feeling the soft grains of the wood beneath. The furniture in the room had a blocky quality to it, the sofa nearest him having the appearance of cheap plastic. Mike knelt down, running his fingers along the edges. His fingers confirmed the truth.

“Jenny?” Mike called, standing up. He walked up to a window, one that wasn’t just painted on. The world outside the dollhouse was full of stars, stars that slowly moved across each other with no set direction. “Jenny, where am I?”

The only door in the room opened, creaking quietly. Rolling his eyes, Mike walked through the dollhouse. It was a close replica of his home, but several of the rooms were simply painted along the back wall. The clunky furniture closely modeled what was left in his home after Jenny’s last tantrum.

Walking down the stairs, he saw that the front room with the fireplace had a fire in it. Her back was to him, her long hair down to her waist. She faced the wall, her red dress billowing gently outward in a room with no wind.

“Where are we?” Mike asked.

“Inside your mind,” Jenny said, her voice coming from everywhere. “Trapped in a moment, walled off in a well, in the place between awake and asleep.”

“Is this a trick?” Mike asked. “Did you possess me?”

“No.” Jenny turned around. Her hair hung loose over her face, hiding her features. Goosebumps sprouted along Mike’s arms and legs. “Not possessed. Talking. Easier to talk here.”

“So I’m still in the Vault?”

“It is like being asleep.” Jenny held up a hand, clenching it dramatically. “You can wake if you want. Ta-ta, toodle ooh, thanks for coming by!”

Mike squeezed his hand, then released and squeezed again. If he concentrated, he could feel the world around him fade, feel the cold concrete beneath his feet. Relaxing, he let the dollhouse snap back into place. “So why bring me here?”

“Easier to talk. I am weak.” Mike’s mind was blasted by an image of Beth’s body riding his cock, Jenny’s soul jumping ship to go back into the doll. “We can talk here. It’s quiet, personal, safe, enjoy the fries, they’re fresh today!”

Mike rubbed his chin, doing his best to avoid staring at Jenny’s creepy visage. “You are still recovering.”

Jenny nodded, the motion causing her hair to droop and then part. He caught a glimpse of the pale face beneath those locks, and quickly looked away.

“I’m sorry we had to do that,” Mike said. “But I want to talk about it. Are you still mad?”

In response, the whole house shook. The furniture vibrated across the floor, and the walls creaked around him. Mike waggled a finger back and forth.

“Un-uh. If you throw a tantrum, I’m leaving you here for another week.” The tremor ceased, and Jenny stood, waiting.

“I don’t like it here,” Jenny said. This time, images of the Vault bounced around his head. Shadows crept from one shelf to another, objects moved on their own, and the room was full of whispers. “Not one bit, chicken little. The sky is falling.”

“Would you like to leave the Vault?” Mike asked. “And I don’t mean for a little bit. I mean for good.”

The dollhouse rumbled, but quickly settled. Jenny took a single step toward him, her body teleporting across the distance. Her figure shimmered, like static on an old tv, and he could see the dark eyes hidden behind her ominous bangs.

“Objection! Sustained! Parole for good behavior!” Her voice bounced off of the walls, assaulting him from every direction. “Yes! Please, I want to leave!” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I can feel them watching me.”

This time, he was assaulted by hundreds of images at once. He was in the Vault, watching the shadows creep closer in, then he was atop a bonfire, the flames creeping ever closer to his feet. Faces of men and women from centuries past filled his mind, followed by inhuman creatures, shadow people, and then a figure with glowing red eyes in a hat. Mike stumbled, falling backward, but Jenny seized him by his shirt, holding him up.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Mike said, his voice cracking. “But if you’re going to leave this place, you need to help me first.”

The house shook, but this time, Jenny remained quiet. Taking a deep breath, he told her exactly what he wanted.

Sebastien watched her with amusement and curiosity, tracing the intricate patterns Kali had scribbled in the air. The crystal in her hand glowed orange, leaving behind fluorescent trails. Kali’s spell glowed intensely, sucking energy from the Geas, expanding across the sky.

“It seems I underestimated you,” Sebastien told her, watching the letters expand until they were nearly ten feet high. Kali smiled in satisfaction, watching her spell devour the Geas. The spell she was casting had been instrumental in taking out a warlock in the 1800s.

The letters grew brighter, blinding light filling the front yard. In her hand, the crystal was suddenly too hot to touch, flames curling around her skin. Kali cast it away from her right before it detonated, the letters first crumbling in on themselves, then exploding. Kali felt the sound inside her gut, falling to one knee as the blast washed over her. It bent around Sebastien, who used his cane as a staff to protect himself. He shook his head, a small smile on his face.

“You knew that was going to happen,” Kali said, glaring at Sebastien.

“I hoped it would. Can’t have you taking all of the glory.” Sebastien crossed the grass, picking up what was left of the crystal. “Completely stripped of its magic,” he announced, crushing the crystal with his fingers. A dark powder drifted away on the slight breeze.

Kali stood up, shrugging off his comment. “No matter. I know a hundred different spells I can try.”

“And you are welcome to them.” Sebastien checked his watch, a gold Rolex with his name on the back. “However, my plan is going to start any minute now. Feel free to watch all your hard work amount to nothing.”

Kali shook her head, then put a calming hand on the snake at her side. The python lowered its head, rubbing its face against her thigh.

“We’ll see,” she whispered, gazing at the windows of the house once more.

Mike closed the back door, squinting in the morning light. The sun’s rays were scattered across the mist hovering over Naia’s fountain, casting rainbows of light in every direction like a giant prism. The nymph was busy dancing on the surface of the water, her white gown billowing behind her while birds flew in circles around her body.

“How did it go?” Zel asked from her spot off to the side. She had set up a table, and was busy scribbling some notes to herself in a giant leather journal while watching Naia. Mike saw that she had drawn Naia almost perfectly, a drawing that looked almost like a photograph.

“Ask her yourself.” Mike set Jenny down on the table. The doll gave a small curtsy, causing Zel to startle, her equine hindquarters briefly losing control. “Jenny, this is Zel. She’s new to the house.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Zel gave a rather eloquent bow of her own. “I am unfamiliar with your species, I’m afraid.”

“Tormented human soul trapped inside of a doll. It’s a long story.” Mike saw that Naia was no longer dancing, her attention on the three at the table. “She agreed to help.”

“But at what cost?” Naia looked doubtful, her crossed arms pressing her breasts against her chest.

Mike shook his head. “For now, her freedom from the Vault. Without a host, it takes a tremendous amount of energy for her to do anything. Speaking of which, Zel, I’m going to need a pick-me-up.”

“You just got up,” Zel said, furrowing her brow.

MIke sighed. “Being a spirit, Jenny needs to run on the energy of her surroundings. The Vault acts as a giant barrier to prevent things like her from walking off on their own. I guess I’m acting as a spiritual battery for Jenny right now, or at least that’s how she explained it to me.” He pictured the images Jenny had shown him. It had taken a bit, but once she had convinced him that she wasn’t going to eat his soul, he had agreed to be her energy source until she got a body. “We are keeping things to a minimum, but I feel like I’ve finished a brutal workout, and that’s just from our talk. Do you have anything that will give me a boost?”

“Actually, a couple of things.” Zel disappeared into the garage, and Mike followed. She had already set up shop in there, using the work bench as her apothecary. In the corner, she had built herself a bed out of several blankets he had found in the house. Zel was busy eyeballing a few flasks, holding them up to a lamp she had installed on the workbench.

“And?”

“Well, a couple of options. I’m hesitant to give you any more of that potion. Since it seems to be a spiritual drain, I can supplement some of that granola with peppermint extract and wolfsbane. That should act as an upper. I also have something that acts like adrenaline, but that’s only for emergencies. Hmm.” Zel pulled out a small mortar and pestle, crushing up some leaves. She poured in some viscous fluid from a test tube that she had, and then added some small grains of salt. It smelled like Vaporub from across the room, and Mike’s mouth went dry.