“Now, fire! Remember, squeeze the trigger. Don’t pull it! Don’t focus on the recoil. Anticipating and worrying about recoil will cause you to tense up too much and pull the trigger instead of squeezing it. That gun isn’t going to bite you. It’s only going to hurt you if you don’t take precautions. This is an automatic, boys and girls. It doesn’t have the same kick to it as a revolver, anyway,” I finished teaching my last marksmanship class of the day, using my four years in the Army and six years on the Force to the best of my ability now that I had parted company with the Sheriff’s Department.
“Remember, ear plugs are your friends. You do not want to get vertigo or, worse, wreck your eardrums permanently. A ringing sensation in your head is not a good thing! Now, clear your weapons, pull out your magazines, and the safety back on, so we don’t have any accidents. Remember, your gun is always loaded, even if it isn’t. You can’t afford to assume anything about the loading. A mistake can kill you or any of us. Alright, boys and girls. Solid work! Now, sign out on the log sheet at the front desk, as the training course is done for this session. Next session is the same time next Saturday at 5 pm. Enjoy your weekend and stay safe!” I called out to the class as I prepared to clock out for the day.
“Hey, bro, is this where you’re hiding out?” my baby brother, Raymond, aka “Ray,” grabbed me in a bear hug, “is that a gun in your holster or are you just happy to see me?”
“Haha, kiddo. You know that I teach shooting here five days a week. So, what brings you out to this neck of the woods?” I wondered openly, since I hadn’t really seen Ray much after leaving Florida and the family behind me.
“Well, Miriam and I wanted to start over, so if that’s okay, we hoped that we could crash with you for a bit. Just ‘til we can get back on our feet, that is. I know that it’s a lot to ask, but, hey, you seem to be doing pretty well, right? I hear that you’re making more money now than you did as a cop, at least. I ... uh, lost my ministry, you know. Church, parsonage, all of it. Full-time pastor’s salary, fifty grand per year, all gone, just like that. Kicked out. It’s a long story, but I can explain later. Maybe over supper or something,” Ray admitted, looking rather embarrassed about being dismissed as senior pastor of his church.
“Damn, there must really be a story there, unless I’m mistaken. Yeah, how about you and Miriam get moved in, unpack a little, and then join me tonight for some pizza and wings? I have to warn you, though, that I still drink, I smoke pot, and I have a revolving door of ladies that tend to come and go from my life. Yeah, I do a lot of sinnin’, bro. A lot. You and Miriam share a house with me, you’re sharing it with my wicked lifestyle of drugs and drunken debauchery. Not afraid that it won’t rub off, Ray? You could get room and board, but it might cost you your soul, dude,” I teased my kid brother, knowing that he was self-righteous in more recent years.
“That’s fine, for reasons that I’ll get into later at ... well, wherever we end up eating tonight, that is. There’s a good deal of backstory of the scandalous kind to my expulsion from the church. In fact, I’ve been formally kicked out of the Assemblies of God entirely. Long story on that. Then again, I’m not honestly sure what I think and feel about matters of faith these days. It’s a real crisis for us in spiritual as well as material affairs, kid. Anyway, let’s get out of here. Miriam’s eager to see you again. You’ve been a stranger, bro. She misses you as much as I do,” Ray shared a bit more detail, though he thankfully stopped short of discussing the rest of it in public.
“Fair enough. Let’s get you guys settled in a little better. I’ve got a room that you’ll like, I think. Not the master bedroom, of course, as it’s my place. Uncle Hank left it to me, you know. A pretty swell home, really, if you think of it. You don’t mind the hacienda style of house, do you? Very Southwestern, I can tell you that much. I live not far from here, just outside the city limits, of course. Come on, Hoss. Let’s check out my Ponderosa!” I chuckled as I headed to the parking lot and ran straight into the lips of my sister-in-law, Miriam Lamont.
Yeah, that’s right. My brother’s wife planted a big, sloppy, wet kiss on my lips, much to my utter shock, right in the presence of her own husband, my brother himself. At least she didn’t use any tongue, but that was enough to draw the attention of one of my students, Amber, who winked at me and mouthed “stud” in my direction. Amber even whispered to one of my other trainees, Katja, who gave me a gesture clearly insinuating oral sex. A colleague from the same gun shop, Lizzie, caught on and went further with some hand signals meant to imply that Miriam was my lover or something. Since Lizzie tended to give me the cold shoulder of late for whatever mysterious reason, perhaps it was spite motivated by her imagined grievance against me.
“Woah, sister-in-law, what brought that on now?” I asked with some shock.
“Oh, I’m just very happy to see you again, stranger. Remember, I misses you as much as Ray does, just as I trust that he told you. Can’t kinfolk kiss each other on the mouth, not just the forehead or cheek? Anyway, let’s blow this place! We have a lot to do and discuss, brother-in-law. Thanks for lettin’ us crash, by the way! You’re the best!” Miriam told me as I got into my Ford Ranger and she followed hubby into their Chevy Blazer (this was part of a long-running debate in the family between Ford and Chevy lovers).
We got very hot and sweaty, at least considering the time of year (winter in this part of Nevada is not as cold as some other places). This gave Miriam a slight, sexy sheen to her fair, freckled skin, but made Ray and I look like pigs (at least to me). Anyway, it didn’t take as long to get their stuff unloaded and unpacked as I thought, but apparently, they opted to travel light.
I was grateful, if puzzled, for this fact, as we all finished up and freshened up, too. It was time to do some serious talk over pizza and wings, and this meant picking up some pizza from Lazio’s, a local Mom and Pop shop whose name meant nothing outside the area. It was so family-run that it didn’t deliver, hence the carryout, but it had phenomenal pizza and buffalo wings. The biggest shock came when I headed to the liquor store afterward to get some booze and they went in as well.
“We liquidated most of our stuff, cashed it in to travel light and have more money, so while I need to earn something soon, I’m not strapped just yet. Paying rent would blow through it fast, though,” Ray explained, while Miriam surprised me by grabbing some Captain Morgan.
“You like rum, eh? How long have you two been drinking behind the church’s back?” I laughed as Ray shrugged and Miriam blushed a little.
“A few months now, when I realized that there was no way that Jesus just drank grape juice. If he’s sinless and he drank actual wine, how could it be a sin? I pointed it out to Ray and he gave it serious study instead of dismissing it out of hand, ... and the rest is history,” Miriam answered with an awkward laugh.
“What she means is that’s how the snowball started rolling down to Hell, not that I would want to go back. Nope. It’s only forward motion from here. I don’t regret anything yet, even with the loss of the parsonage and everything. Not even being homeless made it something regrettable. Let’s just say that I’ve discovered a few other things that Miriam and I have in common, things that would actually piss Jesus and the Apostles off a bit,” Ray continued filling in some gaps for me, if still somewhat vaguely.
“So, you two drink now. Do you ... you know?” I made the gesture for smoking weed as we reached the counter to pay for the spirits, including my bourbon and Coke.
“Not yet, but I’m open to it,” Miriam admitted aloud, making Ray and I both chuckle a bit.
The clerk started to take payment from Ray first, for his gin and tonic, but I stopped her and said, “Their money’s no good here. I’m paying for it all. This is my baby brother and sister-in-law.”
“Now, that’s the kind of brother I need! Mine shunned me when I didn’t return to the community, as did the rest of my family. I had to struggle when I didn’t go back, since I was just sixteen, but at least I never got baptized, I got my GED, I get to vote, drink, and I have a roommate now. Sorry. TMI. Name’s Moriah and I used to be Amish. I’m a long way from Ohio, but it’s worth it to have indoor plumbing, TV, and modern medicine,” the blue-streaked ginger cutie at the counter winked at me and slipped me her number.
“Oooh, big brother, you still got the mojo!” Ray laughingly slapped me on the butt.
“Yeah, well, I never got to Mount Moriah, but maybe I will someday,” I punned, making Moriah stick her tongue out at me and show me the stud.
We paid up and Miriam slapped my ass on the way out, too, causing me to chuckle. We drove to my place, where my sister-in-law just started setting the dining room table as if it were a five-course meal or something. Well, I thought, you can take the pastor’s wife out of the parsonage, but you can’t quite take the parsonage out of the pastor’s wife ... not completely. Then again, this was one of the more positive traits for my sister-in-wife to keep, as opposed to many others that she might have kept. She even poured the glasses and tumblers, mixing the cocktails and all that jazz.
Wanting to relax everyone and get to the bottom of things (which happened a bit more literally than I intended), I offered both my brother and his wife some weed from my quarter bag. Both of them accepted, and surprisingly, Ray knew enough to show his bride how to smoke it. He looked sheepish for a moment, but then shrugged it off. Evidently, he had tried something that Miriam hadn’t yet.
“Okay, level with me, bro. What gives? I thought that by now, you two would have a few kids, nice family photos, a megachurch, an upscale parsonage or better, a potluck belly, a strained marriage, and a very fine Mercedes or BMW. Instead, you have a Blazer that seems to have been your home while you traveled here, at least when not in motel rooms, a familiarity with weed, a fondness for booze, a real newlywed spark that is probably helped by not having kids yet, a few hundred or thousand bucks to your name, maybe two days’ worth of gasoline in the tank, I suspect an empty bank account that might even be overdrawn, and a much better humor than I would have guessed, given that you were defrocked and expelled from the ministry and the church. What’s going on?” I probed a bit deeper now into my kid brother’s latest developments.
“Alright ... let’s just say that the wine led to some weed, at least for me, some beer as well, and eventually trying gin and tonic. It also led to me rethinking a few ... doctrines, separation standards, morals, etc. It led to a somewhat more unorthodox style and substance in my sermons, which caused some consternation among the deacons, elders, and higher ups in the organization.
“It led to Miriam and I trying some things in the bedroom that probably delayed her getting pregnant just yet, not to mention the use of birth control at various moments. This also raised some eyebrows, as the elders more or less hoped to see her pop out baby number three by now, and we had yet to make even a baby bump!” Ray laughed in response, making Miriam snicker, and me chuckle rather heartily while eating my Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza.
“And it led to porn!” Miriam added, winking at me.
“Yes, porn, too. We tried several new experiences, from her tying me up to me doing the same for her, to us spanking each other,” Ray continued with an awkward laugh.
“I loved the trade-up, back and forth, like that! A lot of fun! So was the handcuffing, roleplay, rope play, and other kinky games! We even tried anal and pegging!” Miriam picked up from where her hubby left off there.
“Both of which I really loved! Let’s just say that we repeated the ones that we liked a lot,” Ray admitted to me while ripping into his wings.
“Indeed. Including one part, well, I won’t go into that, other than to say that we took turns roleplaying as cops and robbers or whatever. You know, assuming the position,” Miriam snorted her drink as she laughed now.
“And we made homemade, amateur porn, which was how we got caught!” Ray confessed, causing me to belly laugh now.
“It didn’t help that it was a threesome with another man. You know, the devil’s threesome, and we all went bareback that time. Relax, it wasn’t some random dude and it wasn’t our first threesome, just our third and the first one that we taped. The first time was a classic threesome with another woman, which we both adored, the second was a classic MFM, DP situation where Ray and a friend of ours shared me, and the third was the real scandal. They just happened to find it, a guest of ours, one of the deacons’ wives, and she reported it ... it was Ray inside me while a new, gay friend of ours drilled his ass!” Miriam nearly spat out her cheese pizza while she informed me of something that made my cock stand to attention for sure.
“So, you were finding all kinds of new friends, then?” I inquired now.
“Well, the gay friend was new. Horace Daley. The woman was a neighbor, a divorcee, who really opened my eyes to sexual possibilities. Tania Gomez. Really cute chica from Cuba, originally. Bisexual lady, left her hubby and wanted to try a lot of new things, just as we did. The straight man who shared me with Ray was Ray’s fishing buddy, Jeff, who also happened to be black. Yeah, when that got out, it was a real shitstorm.
“This was nothing compared to when Ray admitted to church authorities that he believed that ‘speaking in tongues’ and being ‘slain in the Spirit’ were hoaxes. It was made worse when he openly questioned the Virgin Birth and Deity of Christ, Paul’s condemnation of homosexuality, everlasting torment, and the Genesis account of six-day Creation. He was branded an apostate as well as heretic and formally expelled, not to mention we were evicted. Things got really crazy when he posted an open letter to the organization and to the editors of the local press, denouncing church doctrine and practices, including corruption. We got death threats at Tania’s house, then at Horace’s, and then at Jeff’s, so we moved into a motel before we prepared to leave, just to protect them,” Miriam elaborated now.
“So, yeah, things got a bit hairy for us. We even incurred the wrath of the Klan when word got out that I had shared Miriam with Jeff, thus ‘mixin’ with a _.’ Well, you can imagine the racial slur that was used there. Same ol’ North Florida bullshit, pardon my French. Besides the threesomes, by the way, I let Jeff have her one-on-one several times, as I stroked off watching them, and then followed it up with sloppy seconds,” Ray told more of their tale.
“And I let Ray try it with Horace alone four times, letting him get more comfortable with gay sex, both Topping and bottoming. Oh, and Tania and I did it alone a dozen times, while he banged her three more times besides the threesome. It was fun, but we only experimented with those three, as we were more open to them. We trusted them and they trusted us in turn.
“Also, for a little bit prior to leaving, Ray did the ‘gay for pay’ scene to cover our motel expenses, but he only bottomed then and he insisted on condoms each time. I turned a few tricks myself and demanded that the johns wear rubbers, too. In case you wondered, it was just easier for Ray to find johns than to find janes. Gigolos make far more with men than with women, in our experience, as ladies are harder to convince to pay men for sex,” Miriam went on at length, while my dick grew to its fullest hardness at the thought of Miriam and Ray doing all of these wild and kinky things.
“We got tired of this, at least in the small Florida world, and decided to move out of state for good, catching up with my dear big brother. So, tell me, bro, am I still too straight-laced for your humble home?” Ray laughed now, while we all relaxed a bit more.
“Apparently not. Excuse me. I need to ... go rub one out. I’m way too hard from listening to this,” I warned my brother and his wife, both of whom roared with laughter.
I went to my usual location to jack off, which was my bed, using my lotion to great effect while too drunk and stoned to care that my door was open. Ray and Miriam could hear and see my choice of porn if they paid any attention. It was a bisexual threesome with a man, his wife, and another man, with a number of combinations including a DP and an anal train. I came at last, to images from the porn and fantasies of banging a faceless man and his wife, right before I fell asleep.
I woke up in a kind of haze to use the john, washed up, and struggled to find my bed, so someone helped me along. I was still very much disoriented, half asleep, so I didn’t struggle or question anything. I fell back to sleep, letting things go and not worrying at all. I went in and out of sleep for a good while, thinking that I dreamt of a man and a woman sharing my body while I slept.