Chapter 9

“Nice,” said Liang about the townhouse. It had been built originally in the late eighteen hundreds, but refurbished and changed in the 20s, including the art noveau entrance. The open, shaped metal slat elevator also reflected that soft, decadent style. Definitely attractants.

“We like it,” said Joe, unlocking the door.

Joe and Cheryl greeted their kids with kisses on cheeks, and their wife with kisses on mouth and a hug.

“This is Liang,” Joe introduced her to his family.

“Hi,” the kids responded with smiles.

“Call me Li,” she smiled back.

“Love the dress,” said Moe when Cheryl took Liang’s leather jacket and hung it in the entryway closet along with her own jacket. Moe had changed from her gown to a halter top t shirt and work out pants, both black, and a vintage kimono she wore as a robe, a deep crimson with dragons.

“Told you,” Cheryl giggled, putting her arm around Li again.

“Cool kimono,” said Liang, admiring the body the kimono left open for her perusal. Moe remained fairly slim, but her surprising breasts and ass had gotten more surprising after the kids. Her unrestrained breasts couldn’t helped being stared at for a few seconds by Liang.

Moe and Cheryl exchanged smiles and nods.

“Hey,” said Joe, seeing Eddie and Rachel sitting on the couch. Rhonda returned to sitting on the other side of Eddie from Rachel, lifting a six string acoustic onto her lap.

“Just started showing Rhonda how to play the guitar,” said Eddie. “She hummed me her tune.”

Rhonda blushed. “I didn’t mean to steal it.”

“Blonde on Blonde,” Eddie chuckled. “It gave me the chord progression for her to learn. But don’t worry. I’ll show you how to change things just enough to make it your own.”

“Cool,” said Rhonda.

“Now play me that A again.”

“Eddie Frank,” Li murmured.

“Hi,” Eddie chuckled.

“This is Liang,” said Joe.

“Li is fine,” she managed to say.

“She can’t decide if you or Westerberg is the better songwriter.”

“Paul definitely,” Eddie chuckled.

“I don’t know,” said Li, blushing.

“Where’d you find her Joe? Or was it Cheryl?”

“Joe,” said Cheryl. “Though I guess I was a person of interest as well.”

“So it appears,” Rachel smirked.

“You must be Rachel,” said Li, moving from Cheryl’s arm to the couch and stretching out her hand.

“The infamous,” Rachel chuckled, accepting the hand shake.

“You’re much more beautiful than your pictures.”

“They always catch me at my worst,” Rachel muttered. Cheryl pulled up a padded chair without arms to a spot in front of Rachel and sat, pulling Li to her lap.

“I think she’s looking particularly good these days,” said Eddie. “Don’t you Joe?”

“I do actually,” Joe said.

“Thanks,” Rachel blushed. Then put her Rachel guise back on. “I suppose Joe gave you the rundown on me.”

“Some,” Li admitted.

“Rache the Bache,” Eddie chuckled.

“I wasn’t dissuaded from getting to know you,” said Li.

“You weren’t hunh? Where’d you say you met this cute young thing Joe?”

“I didn’t yet. She’s the receptionist at my publisher.”

“So you enjoyed Joe chatting you up?”

“I did.”

“Me too,” Joe smiled.

“Interesting,” said Rachel. “And how was she, Cheryl?”

“Delicious.”

“Already?”

“She had a rather concentrated Joe experience.”

“And you put her out of her misery.”

“Yep.”

“I look forward to returning the favor,” said Li.

While everyone laughed and Rachel studied this surprising young Chinese woman, Joe noticed the elevator releasing Essie. Essie wore loose jeans and a flannel shirt, but looked as beautiful as ever. “Excuse me,” he said and walked over to her. By the time he arrived, Joanne hugged her daughter.

“We need to talk,” Joanne said.

“I know,” Essie replied.

Both looked serious, and Essie a little nervous, glancing at Joe.

“My bedroom,” Essie suggested, returning her eyes to her mother.

“You can use my office if you want,” said Joe.

“The guest room is fine,” Joanne smiled at him. Mother and daughter entered the elevator and took it up a floor. Joe sighed.

The doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” said Joe.

Joe walked into the living room with his younger and prettier clone. “We need to talk,” he said, seeing Rachel shooting daggers at Trevor with her eyes. “Now.”

“Me too?” Eddie asked.

“Yes, Eddie.”

Eddie showed Rhonda a G chord. “You need to press harder,” he explained.

“It sort of hurts.”

“I know. If you keep practicing you’ll develop calluses and it won’t hurt.”

“Okay.”

“Good girl.”

“Where to,” Rachel grumped.

“Basement?” Eddie suggested.

“The padded room’s good for shouting,” Rachel smirked. “And there’s weapons available.”

“The padded room then,” Joe chuckled.

“I’m kidding. Sort of.”

“It’s the best place to hash things out in private.”

“I don’t mean to be a problem,” said Trevor as they walked to the stairs and down.

“You’re not the problem,” said Joe. “Rachel is.”

“Right. Blame Rachel for your woes,” Rachel muttered,

“Nope,” said Joe. “I have a plan that alleviates at least some of yours.”

“You do?”

“Yep.”

He opened the door, let them in, and closed it. “Sit,” he said, taking the only chair. Eddie’s lovers sat on either side of him on the edge of the huge bed. Eddie whipped out a joint and lit it.

“Here’s what I’m thinking,” Joe started. “Trevor is contracted with Joanne, which makes him Eddie’s employee.”

“Shouldn’t Joanne be here?” Rachel asked.

“No. Besides she’s busy.”

“We are going to meet.”

“Tomorrow. Does that work for you?”

“Fine. But isn’t this part of her purview, meaning it will be mine?”

“No. That’s the point. I don’t think Trevor’s contract should continue. I don’t think he should be paid by Eddie.”

“I agree,” said Trevor.

“You do?” Rachel asked.

“Of course.”

“But you’ll no longer be his driver. No longer have an excuse to be alone with him.”

“He doesn’t need an excuse,” said Eddie.

“Shit,” Rachel muttered. Then she smiled at Joe. “I recall a certain agreement.”

“I figured you would,” Joe shook his head. “But it’s not really about us, is it?”

“It’s about me if he keeps fucking this Joe look alike.”

“I love him,” Eddie said quietly, taking Trevor’s hand. “And I love you.” She refused to take his other hand. “Does that mean if I’m with him, you won’t be with me, Rachel?”

“Fuck. Talk about ultimatums.”

“Is that what you want, Rache?” Eddie sniffled. “I need you, probably more than I ever have, but I need Trevor too.”

“No goddamnit!” she yelled. “It’s not what I want! Why did you have to end up becoming a fruitcake?”

“I don’t know,” Eddie chuckled through his tears. “Maybe I didn’t end up this way. Maybe I’ve always been this way.” He looked shyly at Joe, and returned his gaze to Rachel. “I’ve always enjoyed you. And lately ... I feel like we’re really making love.”

“Yeah,” said Rachel, finally taking his hand.

“I don’t know if I can explain it,” Eddie continued. “Maybe like the old cliché, apples and oranges. It’s two things that I enjoy, but they’re different.”

“One’s a lot fruitier than the other,” Rachel smirked.

“Be nice,” said Joe.

“Me?”

“Never mind.”

They laughed.

“Maybe I want my cake and eat it too, or whatever that stupid cliché is,” Eddie finished. “But I really do need both of you.”

“Can I still make it the arrangement if I accept this shit?” she asked Joe.

“Okay.”

“Really?” she smiled.

“You still want it the way you’ve wanted it before?”

“Yes Joe. I want you to literally fuck the shit out of me. I want you to fuck me with all the anger you have towards me. All the bullshit you think I’ve done to the people you love.”

“You don’t think you’ve done that shit?”

“I know I have. That’s the fucking point.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why be a cunt?”

“Because that’s who I am! Because ... Because nobody but you has ever called me on it. Because I respect you Joe. For always being real with me and never letting me get away with my shit. Look, Eddie’s the love of my life. But you know it didn’t start that way.”

“Yeah,” both Eddie and Joe said.

“So you fucked Eddie to get to Joe?” Trevor asked.

She looked at him with the usual daggers, then sighed. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

“I actually didn’t get that,” said Eddie.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. But we’re talking the very beginning. Why I came to New York. I knew Joe would avoid me, but you were his best friend.”

“Were being the important word,” said Eddie.

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Eddie,” said Rachel.

“Yeah,” both Eddie and Joe said.

“So yeah, I had my plan. It didn’t include you having the perfect cock for me.”

“And you having the perfect cunt for me,” Eddie added, with perfect seriousness.

“You felt the same about me,” Rachel said.

“Yeah. It didn’t start off about love. It had to do with pushing Joe’s buttons. But more, it’s how much fun we had.”

“Exactly,” Rachel grinned. “Didn’t we?”

“Fuck yeah! You brought me more fun than I ever had. You always do. But it involving getting wasted or fucking some poor bisexual groupie, it tended to get out of hand.”

“And you kicked me out when it got too much. Probably the sanest thing you ever did. If we kept going, one or both of us would have been dead by now.”

“Yeah. I never understood why you were so cool with it.”

“That’s why. I needed to sober up too. Now I just feel too old for that roller coaster.”

“Sobriety suits you Rachel,” said Joe.

“Thanks. It really slammed me in my face when I woke up one morning hung over, and looked at myself in the mirror. Probably the first time I really looked. And I hated me. Not just the bloating and the graying of my skin. The unhealthiness of me. But that that’s what you would see, Eddie. All the partying and the debauchery. Like I was that portrait that Dorian Gray stashed. You’d see all we ever seemed to be together. That’s when I finally realized how much I love you Eddie. My best friend. My favorite lover by far.”

Joe barely heard a soft tapping. “I think someone’s knocking,” he said. They all heard it. Joe opened it, finding Li looking shy.

“Uhm, Moe wanted me to tell you dinner’s ready,” she said.

“And she sent you?” Rachel chuckled.

“I kind of volunteered.”

“Aren’t you cute? You like Joe?”

“Yeah.”

“And Eddie?”

“Yeah.”

“And me?”

“Yeah.”

“How about this guy?” Rachel gestured towards Trevor.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“That’s good, because you’re definitely not his type.”

“Be nice Rachel,” said Joe.

“I think we’ve already had this discussion.”

“True,” Joe chuckled.

“Do I scare you?” Rachel asked her.

“You don’t scare me, Rachel.”

“So what do you want?”

“Uhm.”

“Spit it out, girl. You know how Joe is?”

“I think so.”

“And what is that?”

“He speaks his mind.”

“Clever girl.”

“She is,” said Joe.

“Shut up Joe.”

“Fuck you, Rachel.”

They laughed.

“He’s big on honesty, right?” Rachel asked Li.

“Yeah.”

“We’re like that too. Me and Eddie. So spit it out, girl.”

“I really liked our conversation,” Liang started. “Me and Joe that is. I’d like to be his friend.”

“More than a friend.”

“Definitely.”

“And more than a friend to me and Eddie too.”

“Yes.”

“I suppose Joe told you about our relationship. In regards to women joining us.”

“He did. He ... he wanted me to be aware...”

“That being a good cunt licker is the only way you get a shot at Eddie.”

“Yes, but...”

“Fuck you Joe.”

“I know,” Joe said. “I was being an asshole. But I like Liang. And I know she’s a huge fan of Eddie.”

“You didn’t want my greedy hands on her.”

“Yeah. But I realized she’s of stronger stuff than your usual groupie.”

“Stronger?”

“She’s smart for one. Brilliant even. But she’s tough too. And aware. I think she’s got a realistic view of things. Not some fantasy of getting a chance to fuck her rock star hero.”

“You sure about that?” Liang smirked. They laughed. “I told you Eddie makes me juicy.”

“I thought Belle did.”

“Her too.”

“Groupies and Belle don’t mix,” Eddie warned. “Claire would beat the shit out of you for just asking.”

“Then I guess she’ll remain a fantasy,” Liang shrugged. “But I am a pretty good cunt licker.”

“I’m not,” said Rachel.

“Me either,” said Eddie.

“I’ve heard Joe is,” said Rachel.

“I heard that too,” Li blushed.

“Cheryl?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah.”

“He is,” said Cheryl, stepping into the door. “I thought you guys would be fucking by now. Come on babe,” she wrapped her arm around Liang. “I’m starved. We can talk or whatever later.”

“Me and Trevor will be up in a second,” said Joe.

“Hurry up?”

“Okay.”

As the rest left the room, Rachel said, “I think you’re cute, but I’m not sure Eddie and I are in that place anymore.”

“Yeah,” said Eddie.

“Shut up, wimp.”

“Yes dear.”

“That’s okay,” said Liang. “I would like to be friends.”

“We’ll see,” Rachel responded.

“So,” said Trevor standing beside the bed.

“I never got around to the proposition,” Joe chuckled. “I need to bounce it off Moira, but I’m pretty sure she’d be all for it.”

“Okay?”

“I’d like to hire you as our driver. Mostly it would mean dropping off and picking up Moira, but essentially it would be about dropping off and picking up our youngest, Melissa.”

“So part time.”

“Yeah. And the limo definitely isn’t necessary. You could just drive Moira’s Volvo. It’s her least favorite thing to do, driving in Manhattan.”

“I can’t imagine it would be a problem. I’m pretty sure most of my gigs will be nights.”

“I figured. How are you with kids?”

“I don’t know, actually. I was the youngest. And I’ve never really been around them for any time.”

“I was thinking you could be a babysitter sometimes. Let’s see how you get along with my kids.”

“I could always drive them around in the limo,” Trevor chuckled.

“Fun for a while,” Joe joined the chuckle, shaking his head afterwards. “But I imagine it would get old.”

“Probably.”

They started walking to the stairs.

“I’ll definitely be your driver. We’ll see about the other part.”

“Cool.”

When they entered the living room, Trevor noticed Eddie sitting at the low table, like a Japanese meal, surrounded by Joe’s kids. Rhonda’s music lessons seemed to be continuing, with Eddie telling her to envision playing the chords while she sang. A guitar would interfere with eating, which they had started.

“I’m going to get a plate and join Eddie,” said Trevor.

“I have no problem with it.” Joe said. “Rachel’s going to have to get used to it.”

“I hope so.”

Moe greeted Joe with pout. “About time you got here,” and a kiss.

“Head of the table hunh?” he said.

“Of course. You’re the breadwinner. At least for today.”

“If No Contest sells.”

“There you go with your lack of confidence, old man,” said Cheryl.

“He seems pretty confident to me,” said Li.

“You just don’t know the old Joe.”

“I don’t, but I’d like to get to know the new one, if you two don’t mind.”

“As long as you get to know us too, right Moe?”

“Definitely,” Moe grinned.

“Definitely,” Li grinned wider.

“Do you need to call your aunt?” Joe asked her.

“Only if I stay the night.”

“Call her,” both Moe and Cheryl said, making everyone at the table laugh.

Everyone included Joanne and Essie, Joanne sitting close to Joe, and Essie beside her. Joe looked for Essie’s reaction immediately, and found, to his happy surprise, that she didn’t look in the least upset. In fact she looked kind of dumbstruck. Gob smacked. Amazed. Her eyes did light up when she nodded at him. His did too.

Moe sat closest to him opposite Joanne, with Cheryl next, and Li. Rachel sat next to her. She noticed Trevor bringing his plate out to the living room. “Is he... ?” she started.

“Yes Rachel,” said Joe. “Which brings up an important question. Moira?”

“Yes Joe?”

“I asked Trevor if he’d be our driver.”

“Not Eddie’s?” Joanne asked.

“I’m ending his contract when we switch things over,” said Rachel.

“Trevor has no problem with that?” Joanne asked.

“He thought it was a good idea,” Joe said.

Joanne nodded.

“You know...” Rachel started.

“You’re in charge. I’m not. Got it.”

Rachel started to say something, but realized it had all been said and kept quiet. At least about that. She ended up having a surprisingly pleasant conversation with Li, with Cheryl often included.

Moe answered Joe’s question. “I hope he said yes.”

“He did.”

“Thanks.”

“I was also thinking about him babysitting. At least until Joanne moves in.”

“You know what he did for a living,” said Rachel.

“I don’t recall it included molesting children,” said Joe.

“I guess it’s your ass. Or theirs.”

“Jesus,” said Joanne. “Yeah, Trevor fucked men for a living. But he’s a genuinely nice guy.”

“Whatever.”

“You know I’m gay,” Li chipped in, beginning their conversation.

“Not exclusively.”

“No, but my auntie is. And she’s taken care of kids all her life. Do you think they were ever in danger?”

“I don’t know. Probably not.”

“Auntie Li, and yes I was named for her. Prophetically. She’s the old black sheep and I’m the new one. But that’s for another time. She’s not interested in little girls. Not that way. She’d rather be with big ladies,” Li laughed. “And her best friend, also gay, and male, also teaches little kids. The families trust him. Because he cares about his little pupils, but likes big tough men for sex. One actually, and they’ve been together forever. There’s a difference you know, being gay and being a pederast.”

“Is there?”

“Yes. Have you known any gay men.”

“I’ve known some queens.”

“You mean transvestites?”

“Yeah. And some really swishy men, if you get my meaning.”

“I do.”

“They like that I’m a bitch.”

“I know men like that.”

“Yeah. They’re actually a lot of fun.”

“It gets pretty nihilistic, and I get that they’re probably hiding some pain with their nasty wit, but yeah, it can be.”

“Do you think that’s what I’m doing?”

“I don’t know Rachel. But it does seem that people like that need to be on top, because maybe they’re scared of what they are underneath.”

“You know I’ve had an easy life.”

“I heard your family’s rich.”

“Like that makes a difference,” said Cheryl. “I grew up in a big house on a big lake with a lot of other rich families. With a father who repeatedly cheated on a wife too doped up to be aware. Or doped up because she was aware. Getting out of there, being with Joe, was the best decision I ever made.”

“I know my father is a bastard,” said Rachel. “And treats my mother like shit. All lovey dovey in the outside, but cruel and cold at home, except with me. I thought my mother was a joke. Prim and proper lady. But weak as shit.”

“And they say a girl wants to marry her father,” said Cheryl.

“Eddie’s definitely not like my dad.”

“Joe’s nothing like mine.”

“Neither are like mine either,” said Li. “Shy and retiring to say the least. Completely devoid of emotion. I’m pretty sure he’s autistic. My mom rules the roost. Commander and chief of her army of little girls. Four of us. I’m the oldest. One’s a boy.”

“Gay?” asked Cheryl.

“Yeah. The next oldest. And swishy like Rachel said.”

“Sorry.”

“No. He’s proud of being a flame. Defiantly so. Luckily he lives in San Francisco. Definitely built in support there.”

“You’re from San Francisco?” asked Rachel enthusiastically.

“Chinatown. Can’t you tell?” Liang snorted.

“I love that city,” Rachel crowed.

“Me too,” said Cheryl. “Whenever I’m in town my BFF and I have the best time. Joe enjoys it and Jules too.”

“Jules?” Li asked.

“Julie.”

“Of course,” Li chuckled.

“Joe got a kick out of Li’s name,” Cheryl told Rachel. “You know...”

“Yeah. Ever since him and Eddie dated Fred and Sam. Identical twins,” Rachel explained.

“I heard about Fred,” said Li. “His first?”

“Yeah, and Sam...”

“Was with you and Eddie.”

“Joe mentioned it?”

“Part of his warning about you. The exception to the rule.”

“I suppose she was. Her and Shawn. But they never were groupies, so...”

“Shawn?”

“Shawna,” said Cheryl. “How would you describe their relationship Rachel?”

“Intimate conversationalists.”

“Yeah.”

“Sam was like Eddie’s first love,” Rachel explained. “Even when I was with them. I didn’t really see it, except she was really good at fellatio.”

“Joe said she was the dominant he needed,” said Cheryl.

“I didn’t see that either.”

“Because you dominated her.”

“True,” Rachel chuckled. “But I always thought she was a disappointing choice. Not the sharpest tool in the chest. Fred is definitely the more interesting twin. But they had those two’s favorite bodies. Slim and athletic, with really fine asses and pert little tits. Dancers.”

“Shawn was part of that little group,” said Cheryl.

“For a little while. She definitely had my approval.”

“Good at munching carpet?” Li guessed.

“Really good at it. The best. But that ended.”

“And you couldn’t dominate her.”

“Whatever.”