Chapter 32

It became a hectic winter for Joe. Even the rural calm of the mansion wasn’t all that calming, being the center of so much work. Getting the play together. Getting the script together. Finishing up moms. Rehearsing the band.

Sexually as well for Joe. Constance and Caroline. Cheryl, Cynthia and Joanne. Always a threesome or foursome for them. Joanne being the fourth. Visits from Essie. From Victoria and Liang. From Moe and Chandi. Also threesomes and foursomes. And another night with Freddy to attempt conception when the first time hadn’t taken. The second time did.

Joe kept travelling to a minimum after the appearances on talk shows with Rhonda. Though nervous, she showed it less than Joe thought she would. In fact both Joe and Eddie were probably more nervous. Charlie proved the most calm, his calmness helping Rhonda. She had insisted he be part of the band instead of Claire, because of his harmonies. Maybe because of his calmness.

Despite Eddie’s doubts, his perfectionism, the showcase before the media trip ended up being a lot more professional and tight than he thought possible. Which helped everyone’s nerves. And taping it proved a brilliant choice, and not just for preparing Rhonda for future recording. Editing it into a video, it became MIRTH’s second release, nearly as popular as the CD, with the vinyl coming in third. HBO even ended up broadcasting it, as center to a documentary of the Rhonda phenomenon, editing in her appearances on the talk shows and interviews with her and Eddie and Joe.

A producer had called Joe to talk about the documentary and Joe gave him Rachel’s number. Both Joanne and Cheryl advised her to shop around, and when she found HBO to be best, to help negotiate the best deal.

Both the video and the documentary helped alleviate the need for the band to tour and promote. They did play gigs locally, always sold out, and Joe reluctantly let Rachel book shows on weekends in New York, Chicago, and both LA and San Francisco.

Maria was another one of his lovers during that time, but only when he found himself in LA. During the talk show tapings and during the mini-tour. She and her family had visited when Jonny did, but resisted fucking Joe. Not clandestine enough, Joe figured. Too obvious, even if Jonny knew. She booked a hotel just for their trysts in LA. Just afternoons of fucking. Much to Maria’s happiness satisfying her ample passion, Joe managed to make the best of their three hours together.

Her need to sneak away for these trysts as a part of her thrill was even more obvious because he actually stayed in her guest room, joined by Cheryl and Cynthia, even making love to them quietly, when they stayed in LA. It had been Rhonda who encouraged them being there, so that she and Bobby could continue their friendship. The two kids actually sharing his bed.

Joe finished and submitted his novel hers midway through his time in Minnesota. His publisher agreed to publish after his show had been completed so that he could do the book signing tour unencumbered. A tour much more thorough than any other since his second of his trilogy. Because he would also be touring to support the release of his published plays and poems, to be released about the same time as his novel. He planned to tour more for them, because he felt they needed the greater push and because he wanted to reward the efforts of Joanne and Liang and the two lesbian publishers in Milwaukee.

When he told Rhonda about these plans, she grinned. “Maybe we can tie MIRTH in with the readings.”

“Great idea!” Joe grinned back.

“School should be done by then.”

“Not immediately,” Joe said.

“So just weekends until then. And maybe you’ll want to promote your books in Europe?”

Joe laughed. “Just England until they’re translated.”

“I won’t be needing translating, will I?” Rhonda pleaded.

“I’ll talk to Rachel,” Joe chuckled.

“Cool.”

Joe decided to bring Cheryl into that conversation with Rachel.

“We’ve already got the record and video in Europe,” Rachel said. “Via Joanne’s distribution agreements from her label.”

“And my books?” Joe asked, looking at both women.

They looked at each other. “We’ll work on it,” said Rachel.

“You know there’s places where English is pretty common or there are a lot of expatriates,” Cheryl pointed out.

“Amsterdam,” said Joe.

“And Paris I think still.”

“We’ll headquarter there in any case,” said Rachel.

“Eddie’s place,” Cheryl nodded. “We can have everyone there.”

“Uhm ... we have two wives who need to work,” Joe reminded her.

“I bet you can have Jeff transfer Li to Paris,” Cheryl suggested. “There’s always been a dissonant Chinese community there.”

“True,” Joe smiled. “But what about Moira?”

“It’s her company,” Cheryl shrugged. “Maybe you can convince her to expand it there.”

“I’ll talk to her.”

“Convince her.”

“Yes boss,” Joe smirked.

“Will it be big enough?” Cheryl asked Rachel.

“It’s housed a lot of European bands and their contingents much like the Cube,” Rachel answered. “There’ll be plenty of room.”

“Great,” said Joe.

“So if we’re done, I’m horny. Can you get fake Joe, Cheryl?”

“Of course,” Cheryl giggled. “Be right back.”

“Take your time,” said Rachel, straddling Joe’s lap and kissing him.

“Oh? Should I just stay with Cyn?”

“No.” Kiss.

“Then I can bring her?”

“Yes.” Kiss.

Rachel was another woman Joe fucked during that time. Not all that often though. She mostly slept with Eddie. Except when Trevor visited him.

By the time Rachel returned with Cynthia, Rachel was riding Joe enthusiastically. They waited for Rachel to climax before a naked Cheryl began working the KY into Rachel’s anus. Behind her, a naked Cynthia sucked Cheryl’s pussy. Things shifted when Rachel lifted off Joe, revealing a flaccid penis.

“Horny too?” Cheryl giggled and attached her mouth to Joe’s meat. Cynthia continued her cunnilingus. Rachel grinned seeing the set aside strap on. Putting it on, she checked Cynthia with a wetted finger, finding it a little dry. Shrugging, she lowered her mouth to it. Just long enough for Cynthia to get wet, not being one of Rachel’s favorite things. Once accomplished, she pushed fake Joe in.

“Rachel,” Cynthia murmured in surprise.

“Can I fuck you?” Rachel asked.

“Yes please.”

Thus it continued through Cynthia’s orgasm, Rachel strumming her clit and pulling on her nipples to make it happen. Then a fully hardened Joe got ridden by Cheryl until she came after a couple minutes. Rachel handed her the strap on, slickened by Cynthia’s juices, but Cheryl added KY and applied it to Rachel’s anus with Rachel once more situated on Joe’s cock. Rachel soon had both orifices impaled as she had originally wanted.

Then Cynthia revealed a narrow phallus and another harness to fix it in. Slicking up the dildo and Cheryl’s asshole, she pushed in deep and let the thrusts follow Cheryl’s movement, her finger making sure the phalange on fake Joe did more than usual.

Rachel came powerfully on two cocks, but both continued fucking her until Cheryl came. The pile collapsed, leaving Joe’s rigid erection free. Cynthia immediately took advantage of it, removing the strap on as quickly as possible and impaling herself on Joe.

Joe immediately pulled her close and turned them over and powered into her cunt. Cynthia clung to him and moaned, each moan timed to his thrusts and getting louder. The ladies beside them assisted. Fingering assholes. Bouncing balls. Twisting nipples. Until Cynthia came, and, a minute later, so did Joe.

When Morpheus began advertising its final production at the Southern in Minneapolis, the musical the Myth of Innocence, under Joe’s pseudonym Sol Loman, which had been revealed to be him for a year, people began speculating correctly that Eddie Frank was involved. Joe confirmed his best friend had collaborated with him on the music in interviews for Minnesota Public Radio and for both local and national newspapers. Clues of even more involvement could be found in the concerts featuring Rhonda which also included songs sung by Eddie and Charlie from the musical. And Charlie’s beautiful visage featured prominently in the ad. And tying MIRE’s shows further with the musical, Joe, Eddie and Rhonda had collaborated on a song Joe added to the musical featuring her singing, which she sang, with Charlie and Eddie backing her, during shows.

The musical’s run, starting on a Thursday and ending three Sundays later, with only Mondays taken off, received decidedly mixed reviews and much controversy. Reviewers agreed on the strength of the songs, a couple especially catchy and memorable: the Chicago bus station song in which Eddie made his first appearance; Rhonda’s song in which she sung of the hard and primal and even joyous life of being a kid on a small, struggling farm.

Reviewers also agreed on Charlie’s performance being extraordinary. Eddie’s not so much, though no one denied the charisma shining from both stars. Mesmerizing some found it. Distracting, as far as the rock star being something other, a character, for other reviewers. Detractors found Eddie stiff. Problem was, that was the point. His character was an enigma. A blank. And Joe thought Eddie had done an amazing job to find that place of emoting without being all that expressive. Mostly through his voice, while the face was a mask.

It had taken Eddie, under Joe’s direction, a while to find his performance. It was a reversal of their usual dynamic. Eddie had always been the guide, the director of music, which Joe had to find his way in. Joe had to be the guide, and Eddie accepted his guidance. Frustrated at times, but almost always accepting of direction.

It wasn’t the first time Joe read reviews that missed the point. In the past, he would contemplate that missed perception. How could he make the point clearer in future productions? This wasn’t one of those times. Because other reviewers completely got it. And, despite the inevitable problem of being too inside the production, both as its author and its director, Joe saw Eddie’s performance as near perfect for his intent.

The mixed reviews also had to do with whether the reviewer got the play or didn’t. Whether they found it a meandering picaresque or a well-constructed arc. Everyone seemed to agree it was moving. None found it in any way boring. But whether that which moved them were incidental or came most from its entirety, that is, whether it worked as a whole or not, was at the core of the play being approved of or not.

The controversy was wholly expected. A dark musical about a runaway, especially a pretty young male runaway, by its very nature, couldn’t help be controversial. Pederasty. Child prostitution. The desperation of urban decay. Poverty. Crime. Drugs. Cruel and selfish manipulations of the naïve and the innocent. Users or being used. And not just at the lowest rungs of society. The upper crust could be equally cruel and manipulative. Worse even. Success breeding cynicism and over-weening ego.

The myth of innocence. That was what the musical was about. Innocence vulnerable to attack when put in the place where it was lacking. And yet none are entirely innocent. Media displays the evil of mankind. In news. In books. In movies and television. We learn at an early age that the world can be a dangerous place. Home, one hopes, nurtures children safely until they are old enough to go out on their own. Hearth and home. A second womb. But home can be a dangerous place. A place in which a boy feels compelled to flee. Only his youth makes him seem innocent. A myth.

Eddie’s character represented innocence in the play, as well as Charlie’s, and yet it was Charlie who helped him steer through the mine field of villainy. Charlie not so innocent. And in doing so, Charlie became less vulnerable. More aware. But at the same time, Eddie’s character contains wisdom which also helped the steering. Like a stranger in a strange land, he had the outsider’s perspective. And a far greater wisdom than normal, despite his naiveté. A god’s omniscience, or perhaps an angel’s. Or an alien from a world far advanced from ours. Joe never made clear whether the journey they took to find a way for the Eddie character to return home meant him returning to some sort of heaven or to another world. The intended mystery dissatisfied some critics.

But controversy had less to do with that than with Charlie and what he might have fled. Again Joe never presented it explicitly. Charlie’s beauty made it implicit. And the way Joe had him react to older adults, especially men. Which made his unique trust of Eddie an essential part of the controversy. Should he be seen bonding with this older male stranger? Shouldn’t he be as wary as he is with any other? Why show this relationship as being acceptable?

Joe knew this would be a problem. Which was why he made Eddie seem unworldly. And a touch crazy. Not in a psychopathic sense or a psychotic sense. But more like the type of man seen talking to himself on street corners. Schizophrenic. But not the paranoid kind. A sort of sweet schizophrenia, with a touch of loneliness. Homesickness. The choice obviously didn’t work for everyone.

What both amused and disturbed Joe was the most vehement of these critics. He couldn’t help feeling that they protested too much. That Charlie’s beauty bothered them. That they were fighting against their attraction to him.

The controversy didn’t hurt ticket sales. Nor did the mixed reviews. The show sold out every night. The controversy probably helped that, but mostly, Joe figured, it had to do with Eddie being in it.

And Joe wasn’t even sure he’d be up to it. That first Thursday, Eddie was a complete wreck. Vomiting and shaking like he had when he was a kid. The final dress rehearsal the night before had hinted at it. A small audience of friends and relatives, mostly local but also Trevor, and Maxine and Caroline and the kids they mothered, including Constance’s, saw an unsteady and less convincing Eddie. Eddie from weeks back in the rehearsal. Eddie lacking confidence.

Thursday Charlie sat with Eddie. But he needed to be on stage for a few minutes for his bus song, so Rhonda and Cheryl took over. Joe had too much nerves himself, as did Rachel.

Joe had prepared for the possibility. An understudy who had a featured song later in the play would have stepped in, and a chorus member would have taken the understudy’s place. The man was an experienced performer. Definitely a better actor. But he wasn’t Eddie. And Joe knew Eddie was ready. Except for being a complete wreck.

Eddie never got high before rehearsals. Not in fear of forgetting lines. After all, he always got high before his rock performances and never forgot his lyrics. And he memorized his lines like he did his lyrics, with a sort of conversational singing. An interior music, notes close in to each other, perhaps lifting at the end of a line. Talking music.

No, he didn’t get high because of the dancing. He lost balance and coordination when he got high. Constance warned him he would. He heeded her warning mostly, though early on he tried it high and had to agree.

Joe worried Eddie would seek pot to deal with his nerves. But Charlie told him he hadn’t smoked, which gave Joe hope. When Eddie emerged from the dressing room, makeup covering any paleness that might have been there, bouncing eyes and unsteady walk didn’t make things encouraging. But after Eddie took a deep breath and winked at Joe, Joe took a breath himself. A breath easing his worry.

However, Eddie’s walk remained unsteady when he stepped onto the stage. And his first words could barely be heard. Luckily, that didn’t matter. Coming at the climax of the cacophonous song which included several voices, the various predators at the bus depot, it had been meant to be barely heard. Seemingly nonsense which would end up making sense with the arc of Eddie’s character, other words would enforce that arc’s beginning, and those weren’t lost in the noise. As if woken up from a stifling nightmare, Eddie became well heard. More important, he became confident. And brilliant. At least Joe thought so.

The play ended. Silence. Uncomfortably long. Then applause. A standing ovation. Peaked when Eddie and Charlie bowed together. Even more when Eddie stepped back and Charlie bowed alone. Charlie waved Joe and Constance onto the stage. Two chorus members brought them flowers.

When the ovation finally petered out, Eddie shouted, “Don’t leave yet. Charlie and I have some things to say. Please have a seat. If you want, we can discuss things. About the play. About what we have to say. Whatever.” Eddie waited for the audience to settle down. “Thanks. Trevor?”

Trevor stepped from his seat near the front of the stage and purposely beside the aisle. He walked to stage left and up the stairs. Meanwhile a stagehand brought a microphone on a stand front and center on the stage. Trevor embraced Eddie, and they kissed. A startled noise from many voices washed through the audience. Eddie, hand in Trevor’s hand, walked to the mic.

“I’m gay,” Eddie said. “Well, bisexual, but tend towards men. Trevor’s my lover. I have good taste, don’t I?” Some nervous laughter. A few voices shouted their approval of Eddie coming out of the closet. Applause began but swelled only momentarily and quickly faded. “Charlie?” Eddie smiled.

“Hi,” Charlie grinned nervously. “A bit sensational, I know, but there’s a point. Both Eddie and I decided something needed to be addressed regarding prejudice. Mostly having to do with the difference between sexual orientation and predation.

“Eddie’s been my mentor since before I can even remember. Taught me piano.”

“Charlie could be a concert pianist,” Eddie interrupted. “A child prodigy I suppose. But he also happens to be an amazing actor, singer and dancer. A triple threat as they say. His love of theater is classical music’s loss.”

“Thanks, Uncle Eddie. I didn’t know Eddie was interested in men until fairly recently. In fact, I think Eddie struggled with it for a while.” Charlie watched Eddie nod. “I know it’s a cliché that acting, theater, has a preponderance of homosexuals. I know of a few. Both men and women. Some. By no means all. Probably more than the average, but really not by all that much, believe it or not.

“Anyway, and I hope you don’t think it’s some inflated ego, but more experience, which by the way I share with my genius sister, and we’ve shared the good and bad of it with each other, I know I’m unusually attractive. Beautiful. Maybe prettier than a young man is supposed to be. It’s both a blessing and a curse. Often it feels more like a curse. Like I mentioned, my sister is similarly blessed. The cursed part was helped being alleviated somewhat by her own mentor.” Charlie looked at Joe, who nodded sadly. “And to some extent her mentor helped me, though not as directly, and often as not through what she learned. How she learned to deal with her physical exceptionalism. But mostly I’ve been on my own dealing with the predatory glances or worse. Don’t worry, I’m unscathed. Maybe more wary than most, but otherwise I’ve managed to escape being prey.

“The point is, my mentor, Eddie Frank, has never, nor is he interested, in approaching me with anything but as a mentor and a close friend. And those predators I speak about, whether just in the way they gaze at me or actually attempt seduction are not typical gay men. Some are women actually. But I can say, unequivocally that they are not typical or average. Being gay does not make one a pederast. I truly believe a pederast is a pederast. Someone lost in his perversion. Or her perversion, though I think it’s mostly male. Someone, like a serial rapist, whose sick desires override any compassion. If they had any, they would never be that cruel. Physically, and more importantly, psychologically destroying children. No good man would want to do that. No gay man I know would want to do that. Eddy?”

“Thanks, Charlie. As you might have figured, Joe’s wonderful play, and you know it’s Joe Solomon who wrote it right? Joe’s wonderful play is problematic. The play doesn’t admit that it’s about a boy running from incest, but let’s presume it is. And he ends up befriending a much older man. Seems antithetical for a boy to trust a man at that point. Or maybe he’s like some nymphomaniac women who are changed so much by abuse that they require being abused over and over again because the pederast took all sense of self-worth from them, so the boy might even lose himself to the predators. Believe me, it’s something Joe struggled with. How to make this older man worthy of trust, not just for the boy, but for the sake of the play. His solution was to make my character magical. Innocent in an unworldly way. Unmistakably trustworthy. In the real world, a young man, especially one as beautiful as Charlie here, should turn and run, hopefully to a safe place, wherever the heck that would be. Maybe a part of the family he can actually trust. A crazy aunt or something. It certainly can’t be easy for the poor kid.

“Then why would Joe expose himself to such a problematic situation? I think it has to do with trust, compassion, and yes, love. Not sexual of course, because the two characters could never harm each other. Trust and compassion are Joe’s strongest traits. And he wanted to examine these traits deeply. And contrast them with the opposite. Lack of trust, or being unworthy of it. Lack of compassion. Lack of love. The world beset by these terrible traits. The predatory. The selfish. The uncaring. Interest based solely on monetary gain or worse against the interest in the other, in making things better for someone besides oneself, and gaining something from that. Honor. Nobility. Being a mensch. Whatever. Not purely selfless. You can’t help feeling better about yourself when you make things better for someone else. Love as a force to make good over evil. I believe that’s what Joe wanted to explore. And I think he did it well. Thanks. Any questions?”

Joe sat with Charlie, Eddie and Trevor on the edge of the stage. He waved Cheryl to join him while the tech people found a mic that could be passed around the audience. And they spent the rest of the evening answering questions. About the play, at least what Joe was ready to answer. About love versus predation. About the various forms of love. About personal stuff and professional plans. Rhonda even came out for those.

The longest discussion concerned Joe’s interest in trust, compassion and love. Out of that came the dueling emotions of jealousy and compersion. Mostly when Joe admitted his life embraced compersion, the emotional love of trust and compassion and caring combined with sexual love, and through it, multiple wives.

“So he cheats on you,” Cheryl was asked.

Cheryl shook her head. “Joe has never cheated on me. If anything, I’ve cheated on him, but we don’t see it that way.”

“What makes yours more like cheating?” someone asked.

Cheryl giggled. “Because I’m somewhat of a slut, or used to be. But...”

The audience got noisy.

“Let me finish please. You’ve all been so nice.”

They quieted.

“Thanks. Joe and I married when we were pretty young. Joe was eighteen, and I’m just a couple years older. I could say I’m his first wife, but he met who we decided and accepted as his second, Moira, before he met me. Joe’s also always had other women in his life. And I started sleeping around pretty soon after we married.

“But it’s always been different for me than for Joe. Like we’ve been saying, Joe has always been about those three things: Trust, Compassion and Love. It was those things that originally bound us together, that decided our fate of being married. And it continues to be those things and will always be those things. But unlike Joe, who managed to find others he could feel these things with, that wasn’t what my sexual relations were about. Mine were almost exclusively physical. I had to at least like the guy, but that’s about it. It was fun and it was experimental. To find out how other men felt or behaved like. It took forever, but I finally had enough. I no longer sleep around. Sorry guys,” she giggled.

“But funnily enough,” she continued, “I probably have the closest non-sexual relationship of any of us. With someone I care about, that I trust and that I love. Joe always does best with women. He has a unique sense of them. And therefore, those three things have involved sex. It’s just how it is. But me and Scott, who’s gay by the way, have been deeply in love for ten years, and have never had sex, though I have offered him a blow job,” she giggled.

“You’ve never been jealous?” someone asked.

“Jealousy means lack of trust,” Joe said. “I have felt jealousy, but not for years. Not since I married my soul mates. I care about them. I want them to be happy. They feel the same about me. If happiness means having other men than me, then that’s fine.”

“You’re not afraid they’ll run off?”

“Of course I am. But at the same time, as much as it would devastate me, in the end it would have to be their happiness which is paramount. I would hope they would talk about it with me. Not so much to talk them out of it, though I suppose that might be implied. But to make sure it’s what they want, what would make them happiest. If, for instance, sharing was out of the question, then I suppose I would have to let go. Let them move on.”

“I can’t imagine it,” said Cheryl. “It would mean someone would expect me to be exclusive.”

“And he or she would be too?” the same person asked.

“It would have to be a he. I do like girls. In fact I rather love at least three. But to go without cock?”

Everyone laughed.

But someone objected. “You said that with your eight year old daughter right there?”

Rhonda took the mic. “I know how conception happens,” she said. “Daddy impregnated my mom to make me. My brother as well. My other mom, who I consider my mom even if it wasn’t her womb I came from, got impregnated by daddy twice to give me a sister and brother. I think we all know what was used by him to make it happen. At least I hope so. And no, I’m not interested in such things. I think it’s kind of icky. Even if I have a boyfriend.”

“You have a boyfriend?” someone asked.

“Bobby. He’s sweet despite himself. And he worships me, which I hope he gets over, though it is awful cute.”

“You are pretty amazing.”

“Thanks. But everyone on this stage is amazing. Cousin Charlie. Beautiful and talented. My mom. She’s an amazing writer. My dad too. And Uncle Eddie. Everyone seems to know how amazing he is. Even him sometimes. Trevor’s a really cool guy and makes Eddie very happy. Amazing in itself. I bet you’re amazing too.”

“I don’t know.”

“You came to see Daddy’s play, didn’t you?”

More laughter.

“And that from my amazing daughter should end things,” said Joe. “Okay?”

People seemed to agree. Especially with the mic cut off.

Someone did approach them as they got up from the stage and asked, “You going to do this after every performance?”

“You mean the kiss heard around the world?” Eddie chuckled, demonstrating it again.

“I don’t know,” said Joe.

“Probably,” Charlie smiled.

Joe shrugged. “The star has spoken.”

And they did. Minus the kiss when Trevor returned to New York after the weekend. Even with similar questions, they enjoyed it, as did the audience.

Essie joined them on stage during the first and third weekend to discuss the curse of beauty with her brother, and the predatory gaze and how both had been taught how to defend themselves if it went further. Moe came out a couple times too, dragging Chandi with her to illustrate Joe’s philosophy of love and its polyamorous results.

The various out-of-town arrivals caused changes in accommodations for Joe. For instance, that first Thursday he joined Max and Caroline and Constance in their hotel room. The kids stayed at Joanne’s that night. They had a room in the hotel for themselves, but one of the women would share it and watch over them. With all three there with Joe, that couldn’t happen.

The night was about Max and Constance reuniting, mostly. Joe and Max double teamed Constance first, pain and bondage created exquisite pleasure for their submissive. Then, as a sort of soothing break, and a chance for Max to get Joe’s full attention and cock, Caroline cuddled with Constance while Joe took care of Max’s need for hard fucking. Her on top riding him wildly, with him enjoying her bounteous bouncing breasts before catching them and caressing nipples more and more harshly until she came. Then switching, with him pounding down into her for her second cum, and finally turning her around for even deeper thrusts until he joined her final climax with his. Caroline and Constance had been their audience throughout, and, with Caroline scissoring Constance’s thighs so that pussies made contact, and managing to strum Constance’s clit while Constance abused her own nipples, Constance achieved orgasm and settled back while Caroline masturbated to get hers.

When the other two women drifted off to sleep, it became Caroline’s turn to be with Joe. Making love slowly and quietly. It took a while for Caroline to cum, but it wasn’t about that. But after it happened, she encouraged Joe to let loose and get his, stroking into her as hard as he needed. And he did stroke faster, getting the friction he needed, but with eyes remaining open and communicating with Caroline’s eyes throughout, even during the last bit of quickness and going still and feeling all of his last release of the night.