Chapter 14

The Thursday evening date went surprisingly well. Joe managed to get a table at a new French bistro, romantically dark. The heavy food, magnificently prepared, chased down the palate by a delicious rosé got danced away later. But while eating it, the five enjoyed a lively conversation, completely inclusive. Rachel even encouraged Trevor’s inclusion. It was clear at the beginning that he treaded carefully around her, used to her angry glares. Except for the first one when Eddie climbed into the passenger seat of the limo, they became largely absent.

“What do you think?” she actually asked Trevor amidst the shifting conversation. It had begun with Joe talking about the changes he’d seen in the city over ten years. It had gone political, talking about Mayor Dinkins and the riot in Crown Heights.

“I don’t know,” Trevor said. “Never having experienced that kind of tension. I suppose the suppression of hate and its explosive release I can sort of understand with some of my old clients who remained in the closet for fear of reprisal, and even their own inner battle. Maybe I experienced their explosion, just not so violently. But I think being gay is starting to be more accepted by the straight community.”

“But it never really will,” said Rachel.

“No. There’ll always be the bible thumpers. And the men who consider us all a bunch of faggots who should be burned like they used to.”

“Where the word came from,” said Joe.

“Yeah. But I think things are actually better with Dinkins. The riot an unfortunate timing. There’ll always be that bias, him being black. In a way it’s worse than being gay.”

“But similar in a way,” said Liang. “Because they would both have to be careful about coming off biased towards their own people.”

“But the opposite, too,” said Joe. “Because of a latent fear of whites against virile black men. And a gay mayor couldn’t be too fey, could he?”

“I don’t imagine an openly gay mayor would be possible here,” said Eddie. “Maybe San Francisco?” he looked at Liang.

“Not likely,” said Liang. “Despite appearances, San Francisco doesn’t embrace their gay reputation as much as people think.”

“Certainly not at your house,” Joe said.

“Not with my brother, no. With me, they sent me to my crazy aunt because it seemed the thing to do,” she shrugged. Then smiled. “Of course it turned out great all the way around.”

“That it did, Yanhuo. Your auntie’s pretty cool.”

“She is. But you know that’s not what I mean.”

They laughed.

“Getting back to Dinkins,” said Trevor. “You know crime’s down, and he actually hired more police?”

“I didn’t,” Joe said.

“I think the machine is against him.”

“Probably,” said Eddie. “You seem to know a lot about it?”

“I find myself with a lot of time on my hands,” said Trevor. “I use it to read the local papers. It’s kind of fascinating the bias you find from one to the other. And not just the op eds. Of course I have to stash all that paper under my seat.”

“I wouldn’t care,” said Eddie.

“Just not right for a proper driver to clutter up the seat with papers. Especially when my client tends to sit up front with me.”

“Sorry if it’s a problem.”

“It’s never a problem, Eddie.”

Both Liang and Joe looked at Rachel for a reaction. They saw sadness, but not anger.

Joe decided to test things. Maybe be an asshole about it. “So how’s Harvey?” he asked.

“Appreciative,” Rachel laughed.

“Not the most attractive body,” Joe said.

“Appreciation makes up for it,” she said, looking at Eddie.

“I appreciate you, Rache,” said Eddie. “I love you.”

“Do you?”

“Yes I do. You probably think I don’t show it. Maybe you’re thinking about it wrong.”

“Wrong how?”

“In the one way I can’t show you my appreciation. Because I guess I’m not built that way.”

“You most certainly are,” she laughed. “Exactly the way you’re built has rung my bell from the beginning.”

“You too. But you know that’s not what I mean.”

“Assume I don’t.”

“Okay. I love you because you’re a bitch.”

“Eddie?’ said Trevor. The rest of Eddie’s audience laughed.

“She knows, Trev,” Eddie said. “She thinks Rache the Bache is the best song I ever wrote.”

“It is,” Rachel agreed.

“You’re a strong, willful, confident, manipulative cunt. And I love you for it. I wouldn’t have had nearly the fun I had if you didn’t push me. Made me have fun. You may be a bitch, but you made me your bitch, didn’t you? But it’s not just that. It really is how strong you are. How opinionated. How impressive your opinions are. How much they had to do with making things better for me. You don’t know how happy I am that you’re finally my manager. Not that Joanne didn’t work her ass off for me. But I believe you’ll be better. And I can finally sleep with my manager. And fuck her.”

“You want to fuck me?”

“Yes Rachel. But your body, no matter that it’s as good as it ever was, and your beauty which has also never been greater isn’t what turns me on. It’s your sexy bitch mind. It always has, and now more than ever.”

“And I love you because you’re my favorite wimp,” she said.

“What about me?” Trevor asked defensively.

“What do you love about Eddie?” Rachel asked him.

“Because he’s the deepest man I’ve ever known.” He blushed when everyone laughed. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?” said Eddie.

“Okay, it is,” he quipped and laughed with the rest of them. “But aside from that, here’s this rock star who puts it out there on the stage. All of it. With his guitar and his singing.”

“I try,” said Eddie. “Some nights are better than others. And it’s still scary. I still don’t feel comfortable standing on the stage alone. But I could look at Belle. And Nige,” he sighed. “And they had my back.”

“I don’t recall a single night that the audience didn’t go home pleased,” said Trevor. “Never cheated. Getting more than their money’s worth, no matter how much they spent.”

“Wait,” said Rachel. “Didn’t you start driving Eddie at the tail end of his last tour?”

“LA and Japan and Australia. But I’ve been a fan for a while. I couldn’t believe it when Joanne offered me the job.”

“You understand why she did?” Rachel asked.

Trevor nodded. “It was honest on both sides. I knew she had to trust me. I imagine she didn’t have the best opinion of me to start, and I could completely understand. She did tell me at the end that I had a reputation for being a nice guy. I just didn’t see the point of being an asshole, and there were plenty of those in my work.” He laughed with the rest. “I just never wanted to be just another asshole.” He and his audience laughed again.

“But yeah, she told me about Eddie’s fantasy,” he continued. “Showed me Joe’s picture. I didn’t see it. Sort of but not really.”

“Me either,” said Joe, a little uncomfortable.

“You’re definitely an improvement over this schlub,” said Rachel.

“Thanks Rachel,” said Joe.

“But I still think you’re cuter,” she winked.

“So I became his driver and his fantasy Joe. I’d hoped it wouldn’t be just that. You know, a substitute. And it wasn’t. Even if it started that way, I mean past the fantasy. He kind of had it out with me as if I were you, Joe. But it was cathartic and I guess I loved him enough to get him past me as Joe and to me as me. It was deep with him letting things go, and it was deep after. Not deep emotional, like that first thing, but deep conversations. Philosophical.”

“Stoned,” said Joe.

“Yeah. Exactly. Like two men having deep stoned conversations and loving each other because of it.”

Joe nodded. “Like we used to do Eddie.”

Eddie looked at Joe and nodded. “Without the fucking.”

Everyone laughed, including Rachel.

They talked of other things. Other cities. The townhouse plans. Eddie’s other houses.

“I want to go to Paris,” said Liang.

“Barbados would be better this time of year, unless we went to Paris soon,” said Eddie. “Maybe Paris in the spring?”

“Can we Joe?” Liang asked.

“You know you could go without Joe?” Rachel pointed out.

“Yeah. I’m sure it would be fun with you and Eddie.”

“Or just me?”

“Yeah. But ... I’d like to go with Joe and my wives. I really like you Rachel, but I guess it would be better with them.”

Rachel nodded and smiled. “You really are something, Li.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because Rachel is a scary bitch,” said Eddie.

“People keep saying that, but I don’t see it.”

“You have changed, Rachel,” said Joe.

Rachel looked worriedly at Eddie.

“They don’t know you when you’re at full rant, babe,” he said.

“We ready to leave this fleabag motel?” she asked as the waiter approached with the check. He tried to hide his shock, but failed.

“It was great, Jacques,” said Joe. “Don’t listen to the bitch.”

“You better put your money where your mouth is,” Eddie chuckled.

“I guess I better,” Joe sighed, handing the waiter a gold card.

Joe ended up tipping 25%. “Compliments to the chef,” he said.

“Kiss ass,” said Rachel.

In the limo to the show, a big band, with dancing, a Count Basie legacy band visiting a ballroom, while passing the joint Eddie lit up, Liang asked, “Can we visit Eddie’s houses?”

“How about New Year’s?” Joe asked Eddie.

“Ten days would be better. Christmas and New Year’s.”

Rachel pulled out her checkbook that had a calendar on it. “Tuesday would be Christmas Eve, so we could actually make it nearly two weeks.”

Joe smiled at Liang’s begging eyes. “I’ll talk to Jeff.”

“Talk to Cassie,” Liang suggested.

“Good idea,” Joe laughed.

“What about Paris? I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“Maybe we could go after my show in early spring,” said Joe. “You’re definitely coming to see it.”

“If I’m matriculating?”

“Are you talking about Hunter?”

“It’s got a good literature program.”

“It does. But you can’t attend my classes next year.”

“Maybe just monitor them?”

“Okay,” he laughed. “But you do have to work.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Find out about spring break.”

“I will,” Liang grinned.

“Greedy bitch, isn’t she?” said Rachel.

“What’s wrong with being a manipulative one if you get what you want?” Liang asked.

“Plenty,” Rachel smirked. “You going to punish her too, Joe?”

“I just might,” Joe grinned.

“Promises, promises,” said Liang cutely.

“You’re going to have to watch out for this one Joe,” Rachel said.

“And I won’t mind a bit,” he chuckled.

“Especially when I’m naked?” Liang smirked.

“Definitely.”

“Seriously though, Joe, am I asking too much?” Liang asked.

“I think I’d be the one asking,” Joe said.

“And I never have any problem accepting.”

“Never?”

“Never. I trust you. But more I want you to do these things with me. Toss me into the fire as you said. This is the same thing, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“How long have you known me? Hell, we just met when you tossed me in. But you knew it would be okay.”

“I didn’t.”

“I think you did. Maybe not with complete certainty, but enough to bring me in. It was a test, but I think you mostly knew I’d pass. This time I got some information. But it wasn’t necessary. You don’t have to ask.”

“Is it alright if I do?”

“Of course. Just know that I’ll say yes. Maybe next time don’t. Surprise me, okay?”

“If there is a next time.”

“I hope so. And I bet there will be.”

“Why?”

“Because of who you are. You want things better. Not for you, though I’m sure you get something out of it.”

“I do.”

“We’re never selfless. We do what we do for others because it makes us feel better.”

“Ayn Rand,” said Joe.

“Fuck her. She thought the world was a selfish place. It is. So what? If the haves want to give the have nots something of theirs because it offsets guilt or they care and that’s their buzz, I’d say it benefits both, the have nots a heck of a lot more. The government does that most, taking and giving, the people running it having to pull from resistant rich and too much of a lot less rich, because the rich are a lot better at resisting the extractions. But they’re the ones who probably use it more. Driving around in their fancy cars on streets paved and smoothed by taxes. Even the jets they ride need a superstructure to land on. And what about the many who work for the rich and the rich pocket most of their efforts? Do you think they’d be any good at it starving or unable to get to work because there’s no buses or subways? Was it better when the rich had slaves to do all the at least manual work, and they just had to house and feed them enough so they could function? I know it hurt at least the poorer plantations when they had to actually pay their help, even if it was minimal and its own sort of slavery. Was it the slave owners who decided to give up what is now pretty much universally known as an evil institution? Maybe a few who realized how racist and dehumanizing and cruel it was. But mostly it was people who realized how evil it was, that wanted people to be treated like people instead of worse than cattle. People who cared about humanity, and it made them feel better that they could do something about it.”