Harrison had been unemployed for ages.

Living on the dole had become a way of life for him. He was not really disabled or handicapped in any manner; it was just because he was unable to find something that suited him after so many years of working at the North Pole for the no-nonsense Santa Claus and his Elf-hating spouse. He had decided to call it quits after the reindeer incident and he knew how plausible the explanation sounded, he would not be able to convince Santa of his complete innocence in the matter. Besides, Mrs. Claus had continued to have it in for him ever since his lack of interest in giving her a body rub after her bath. She was one of those human females that held a grudge forever and a day and smiled so sweetly when she got her pay-back at the end.

The only thing that Harrison had visibly that betrayed his Elfin heritage was his strangely pointed ears but it was something that he could easily hide with allowing his hair to grow and covering up the giveaway trait from suspicious eyes. Besides, nobody was looking for Elves in this time of terrorists and maniac gunmen shooting people willy-nilly in places one would expect to be completely safe.

In a way, Santa was glad to see Harrison leave the North Pole because he was one of the few Elves that knew about his obsession with humping pretty young female Elves each year when Christmas came around and his libido was “full-steam ahead” and anchored to a mate that no longer had any interest in his old-man body with all the handsome young workers just waiting to please her in any way she desired behind closed doors. Santa didn’t mind anymore because he was too involved with wooing and seducing the young female Elves with no experience in such matters in their isolated location.

The rules at the North Pole specifically stated that only Elves or Humans over the age of eighteen could participate in carnal fun and games and that rule was adhered to at all times. It was a rule that Harrison followed out in the Human world because it made a lot of sense and kept him out of trouble.

Of course, Harrison would never think to “blow the whistle” on Santa because he was the wisest and well-intentioned humans he had ever met. This edition of Santa was like his forebears before him and he did his best to be good and stay positive no matter how difficult the situation might be in front of him.

Harrison was sent on the outside assignment to scout out the human species for ratios of “Naughty” and “Nice” and send his report back to the boss so he would know how many gifts he would need for the annual run to make those presents appear under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. The lack of functioning chimneys had made his job a bit harder but Santa was quite accomplished in breaking and entering with years of experience finding entrances to deposit his gifts under the Christmas tree in even the most secure homes and residences.

His assignment was in London and the city had changed a lot from the last time he had been outside the North Pole factory and settled down in the human environment like some alien from another planet, or, at least another country. That was not so unusual in today’s London where so many residents spoke another language at home and they had originated in different cultures that didn’t even understand the true meaning of Christmas or why Santa existed in the first place.

If the Elves had ever decided to have a Union, it would be certain that they would have picked Harrison to be the negotiator. He had his age in his favor because the Elves considered age as a virtue above all else. He also had his ability to satisfy either female elves or female humans with his oversized tool of creation in almost every situation one could imagine. Fortunately, he had the ability to sense when his seeds were headed down his tube and withdraw to a safe distance to prevent fertilizing and creating little Harrison’s to populate the planet. In addition to all that, he had what was known in Ireland as “the gift of the gab” and he could convince or persuade almost every listener to his point of view and never suspect that they had been manipulated by his cunning designs.

Now, most Elves were well-behaved and constrained in their carnal thoughts and deeds but Harrison was the exception and he was able to go on late in the night with multiple partners without missing a beat.

He really liked his assignment in London because he was of the opinion the females in the city had a certain flavor that suited his taste to a tee. He liked to listen to the foreign girls that came to London and learned English the proper way and not like the silly Americans with their crazy rules of grammar that belonged in some uncivilized place on the other side of the planet. Of course, he was not at all opposed to American girls with their gum-chewing and the way they would get down on their knees without hesitation to put a smile on a lonely Elf’s face.

He had 364 days and nights to process as many females for the “naughty” or “nice” list in his area and he generally did about a dozen or so each night along with a multitude of other retired elves with skilled shafts to put the pretty darlings through their paces and judge them for the right balance of romance and unadulterated lust. He tended to like the human females with a little spice in their act because he was a creature of a more frenzied style of humping that the majority of females appeared to prefer from a “one night stand”.

He had discovered in his research that the average UK female was more naughty than nice but in his opinion that was not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it made him quite happy to be assigned to the area because it was just up his alley of carnal delight.