Chapter 30: Group Therapy

After breakfast on Saturday morning, Dave pulled Ann, Juan, Joan, and Joyce off to a separate table to which he also lured Bill Lewis. The group all knew each other in myriad ways.

Ann was Bill’s ex-wife; he still loved her and after a long hiatus the pair had rekindled their sexual relationship with the encouragement and blessing of Juan – Ann’s lover and second husband.

Joyce had started to see Dr. William Lewis, Bill, as she sought to heal from years of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse by her ex-husband Miles Waters. While the abuse had ended about seven years prior, the mental anguish she suffered had carried forward and still bothered her.

Joan had also been the subject of an abusive husband, eventually reaching a point where she had been put in therapy by her friends when they realized how broken he had made her. One result after more careful analysis led to his trial and incarceration for attempted homicide through mental manipulation. Those friends had been Circle members. Dave was the father of Joan’s daughter – Lauren Jade. Joan also loved Bill and had used him as a counselor many times as they also shared their membership in the Circle.

Dave set the stage for the group, “Thank you for gathering. I saw a linkage between you women and I wanted to see whether the three of you should explore this, possibly alone or possibly under the guidance of Bill in his professional capacity as a psychotherapist.”

Bill sat forward and looked interested. He already saw the connections.

Dave went on, “Joyce, you were turned into a decadent sex slave, your words basically, while you were in college and continued that role into your marriage to Miles until you reached the bottom of the barrel mentally and had no more reserves to offer. You suffered and still suffer the mental anguish of a loveless marriage that fundamentally took advantage of you and turned you into a slut willing to do whatever Miles wanted you to do.

“Joan, you were browbeat by your husband in the hopes you would commit suicide and leave him free to pursue a relationship with another woman. It took months in rehab and more time in therapy to right the wrongs he wrought on you.

“Ann, you discovered sex at a young age, and threw yourself into the activity with great gusto. Eventually, you realized you were out of balance and stopped all that and developed your shy and retiring side. Further, you gave up being a sexual being.

“Each of you shifted between extremes both mentally and sexually. Do you agree or am I seeing a pattern where none exists?”

Joan spoke first, “I think you’re right. I am the happiest I have ever been right now, in large part to you and Lauren. Yes, I see Bill to be sure that I’m not hiding from any skeletons in my closet, but it doesn’t seem that way. I love being a sexual person able to have a robust love life with all the men and women in the Circle. I’d be happy to help any way I can, and that’d help me, too.”

Ann reached over and took hold of Juan’s hand since he was sitting next to her. “I’m probably the weird one here. I was a crazy slut through my teens and twenties, as Dave said. It’s common knowledge around here; I don’t hide what I was. It did embarrass me while I was married to Bill. I wanted to be a good wife.

Ann sighed, “Instead, I let my sex drive rule my life. I cheated on Bill time and again. He stuck by me through several lovers, although I have to say that until I met Juan I was only after the sex. I had a need to do something racy, sexual, and illicit multiple times a day. I’m sorry Bill. I had no balance in my life. After we broke up, I realized I had to change, and this is where I am today.”

Juan encouraged her, “You’re trying.”

Ann nodded with a smile, “He wants me to loosen up again. He likes that I was a naughty girl.”

Juan said, “What’d I’d like is to see her happy again. I met and fell in love with her when she behaved as she had most of her adult life. Then she changed and became devoted and chaste wife. I urged her to back up slightly. Now, she’s involved with you again Bill, and she had a beautiful lovemaking session with Owen Bennett yesterday. I think we’re headed in the right direction, but I want to see her happy with the shift back the way she came without her being unhappy about it.”

The group turned to Joyce.

Joyce blushed, “I guess I was kind of like you, Ann, except I was forced into that kind of behavior by my ex-husband and his friends. He worked me over and over until I was afraid to move or do anything without his instructions and approval. Bill agrees that I was brainwashed. I only pulled out that situation when I went to commit suicide with a gun to my head, and I thought there had to be a better way.

“Dave and Dale made love to me last weekend. This was the first sex I’d had in seven years. I guess I’ll admit that some of the women in Dave’s Circle also did a few things with us as well. I’m feeling renewed but worried.”

Ann asked, “What did your ex-husband have you do?”

Joyce got serious, “Every sexual thing you can think of, practically. At first, I was his private sex toy, but then he started to involve another man, and then multiple men. Then he was having me do things when he wasn’t even around, but I had to tell him all about what had happened. Multiple men would show up at the house to fuck or have a gangbang with me. It was after one that was particularly rough that I had my awakening and ran away.

“When I went with Dave and Dale, I knew what I was doing, but I wondered how I’d feel afterwards. The two of them made love to me. I mean they were kissing me all over and telling me how great I was, how pretty, how desirable, and more. I realized I’d never made love before. I’d had lots of sex, but I’d never made love. Yes, we had sex, but it was nothing like what I’d done with my ex-husband or the men he brought in to use me as their fuck toy.

“I’d had sex with women before, too. My ex-husband liked to get a room full of men and have me and some other bimbo put on a show for all of them before they fucked us. It was very degrading. When Julie and Cricket approached me, the situation seemed so different. They were compassionate, caring, and loving with me. I liked what we did and hope to do it all again sometime soon.”

Bill had been listening carefully to each of the women speak. He turned to his ex-wife, “Ann, do you feel pressured to loosen up, as you stated, or do you think this is something you really want to do? Do you feel Juan or me or someone is pushing you in a direction you don’t want to go?”

Ann shook her head, “Oh, no. I got to where I was – shy and chaste – all on my own. Now, I feel I’m in motion again – away from my most recent comfort zone. I love you and Juan, and now I have similar feelings for Dave, Dave, and some of the women. I realize that what I left behind and don’t want to return to are the sexual relationships that have no affection or love in them. I’m like Joyce in that regard. I loved being loved. I just don’t want indiscriminate sex again.”

Dave said, “Yet, you, Alice, and Elsa are working hard on setting up our Independence Day celebration up at the Meadows. You know that will be a bit of an orgy. How do you rationalize that?”

Ann looked uncomfortable. “I ... I’m not sure. I’m feeling so close to the people in the Circle that I wanted to do just what they do. Everyone here seems so ... balanced and sane. The ones I’ve talked to are looking forward to the events; they aren’t upset about the potential of sex with people they’ve barely met. One woman told me she knew she’d feel more loved when it was over. I guess the lover of my lover is my lover.”

“You don’t think you’ll feel used?”

“No. These are people that will care about me in many ways. I know that a quick fuck with someone is not going to spawn another love affair, but it might engender some sweet feelings between us. I never got those with most of the guys I fucked. We were pure lust and lewd behavior.”

Dave turned to Joyce. “What about you and the July fourth party?”

Joyce shrugged, “I wanted to talk to you about that. Is it possible to go and be part of the celebration, party, and risqué events, but stick to Circle members in anything romantic?”

Dave shrugged, “Absolutely. You know all of us, and you also know that you can ask any of us for what you want to do without us having adverse judgments about you or your behavior. So, why not?” He turned, “Bill, what do you think about that?”

Bill also shrugged, “I think it’s a decision that Joyce has to face sooner or later, especially if she hangs out with all of us in the Circle. We are a highly sexual group. We are also a group that ensures that their spouses and partners are having positive and happy experiences. I’ve rarely seen anything like this. If she feels comfortable going to an overtly sexual encounter with another similar group, I think that speaks volumes about how far she’s come so quickly in reestablishing herself as an independent being.”

Joyce said, “That’s a key point and it’s why today is so significantly different than anything that happened in my past. I’M making the decisions. I do not have to defer to my husband. No one is telling me I have to go, like he would have. No one is even suggesting I go. If anything, they’re like Dave, worried about how I’ll handle the situation given my past.”

Joan spoke, “Like you, I was kind of brainwashed. Do you think you might be hearing an old tape telling you to go to some ribald event and indulge your sexual appetite?”

Joyce thought and did about fifteen seconds of self-analysis. “No, it’s not that, I’m sure. This is just ME coming out of my shell.”

Joan asked, “How do you feel about yourself, the decision to go, and what you’ll do when you get there?”

Joyce smiled. “I’m feeling that it’s good that I’M calling the shots. I feel empowered from within. I am sure I’ll have fun and enjoy myself. I am also sure I can set some personal limits and boundaries as the situation unfolds, so that I stay that way.”

Dave turned to Bill and raised his eyebrows as though to ask whether Mr. Psychotherapist wanted to add anything to the conversation.”

Bill smiled, “I’m glad to say that I think you’re all quite sane, empowered, and rational in your decision making. I guess I think that the July fourth party is a good bellwether for each of you in several ways.

“Joyce, you’ll be able to test yourself about your readiness to pursue a more robust lifestyle, perhaps here in the Circle. The missing part of your life, your sexuality, seems to be returning at a rapid rate, and I sense you are truly enjoying that. You’re also experiencing love for the first time, and that’s even better for you.

“Ann, you can also test yourself as you go to this party to see how you behave compared to how you were years earlier. You’ve experienced the extremes, and I think you have the maturity now to find a happy stasis somewhere along that spectrum that will make you happy. I think you also have learned how to treat one event, like this party, as not throwing you entirely into an old mode of living.

“Each of you should recognize that if you find yourselves disappointed in your behavior or emotions, that you can reverse the whole situation. Learn from the experience. One bad experience does not make a lifetime of pain and sorrow. As you already know, you can back up in this area of your life ... or even go forward at a most rapid pace. You’ve had your bad experiences, and I doubt you’ll let this event, if you feel it goes against you, become one of them.”

Joyce and Ann nodded.

Joan said, “I’ll be at the party. I’d be glad to be a sounding board for either of you if you’re feeling any queasiness about what’s going on or what you’re about to do. I’m looking forward to the intermixing of the groups and being a very active participant.” She grinned.

Bill nodded, “For that matter, I’ll be there, too, and also be available. Recognize that you can easily extract and leave the situation if it becomes intractable in some way to you.”

Dave said, “And I add my own support and love to all of you before, during, and after the party. I’d suggest that we either gather again like this or that you have a session with Bill after the party to clear the air.”

Tuesday night there was a stampede of the females in the Circle down the Tamiami Trail to a party and costume shop that Dori discovered sold inexpensive bikinis that were various combinations of patriotic red, white, and blue. By the time the girls returned, the store had sold out of the colorful bikinis.

Upon getting home, Alice and Heather put on their suits and paraded around the patio to show what the ‘standard’ dress for Circle members would be at the Saturday party at the Meadows.