Chapter 1: Recovery

Dave’s heart stopped. The whole world froze. Time stood still.

Tears flooded Dave’s eyes and he actually had to clutch at his chest because of the sudden ripping tightness there. Every muscle in his body convulsed to the point of severe pain.

His eyes were locked on Alice and then Julie and then Alice again. Every part of his body was pleading that what he heard he hadn’t heard. Both women looked worried about how he’d just received the statement from Alice: ‘I want to marry Owen. Julie does, too’.

Dave turned white as a ghost and then bent over to the side of the patio bench he sat on and threw up the breakfast he’d eaten not too long before. He retched and retched, his body trying to purge from it the echo of the terrible words and their implication – that two of his wives were leaving him for another man, including Alice the most important person in the world to him.

Christ, he thought as another severe abdominal cramp made him retch yet again, I’ve been married to Alice for thirteen years and to Julie for five. How could they? How could Owen screw me over like this? I’ll never be able to face anybody in the Circle again. What will I do? I’m cursed a thousand times over.

The mental pain spilled over into more physical pain. He could see through his tears. He couldn’t sit up. He vomited again only by then there was nothing inside him to surrender. He just made severe gagging sounds and coughed, afraid he’d die – and then afraid he wouldn’t. He couldn’t go on without the two women in his life.

Feminine arms surrounded him and people clustered nearby asking what had happened? Dave was on his hands and knees staring into pool of vomit. This was the worst day in his life.

Alice’s voice penetrated in some small way, “I was afraid you’d react this way. It’s not what you think. It’s not bad, I promise. Oh, God. I didn’t do this right at all. This shouldn’t be happening. Oh, darling, please listen to me. I love you. I really love you. Oh, I’m so sorry for starting the way I did. Don’t think the worst.”

Julie was also making reassuring sounds about her love for him. “Dave, we’re not leaving you. We’ll still be your wives. We love you deeply. I don’t see what we want to do as a big change.”

Dave had retreated into darkness by closing his eyes, squeezing the last of the tears from them, and praying for salvation to the terrible situation he’d just envisioned.

Several other people extracted Dave’s limp body from beside picnic table bench he’d been sitting on. He sat back on the bench with his head between his knees. He couldn’t look at anybody. The terrible spasms seemed to have past but he’d gone to someplace mentally that seemed to not involve any muscle control. He became inert and glassy eyed. His limbs were loose and flexible as though no one was inside his body controlling them.

His helpers had him lay back on the table bench. Despite the narrow width, he slowly moved onto his side and rolled into the fetal position. Many hands touched him and tried to reassure him. Somewhere deep inside his head he knew he’d attracted a crowd. He was embarrassed.

Cricket was there with cool paper towels that she applied to his face and forehead. She kept talking to him, “Dave, it’s all right. Alice and Julie are not breaking up the family. They’re not leaving you. Please don’t panic. We all love you. You’ve misread what they want to do. They love you. We all love you.”

Dave tried to talk, but the taste and bile in his throat and the mental anguish he felt only resulted in a long, agonizing moan. Tears flowed from his eyes. His ears were still ringing, and he felt like a dozen strong men had kicked him in the gut. He started sobbing as all his emotions took over.

Alice, Julie, Cricket, Pam, Scarlett, and Heather knelt around the bench he was on so they could stroke and soothe him. Their touches were calming and the spasms his gut and body had gone into gradually subsided but many minutes went by.

Dave was aware of Matthew and Rose coming by and asking if he’d be all right. People tried to reassure them, and he tried harder to stem the tide of tears and sobs.

Dave heard Scarlett ask whether she should leave. Several of the wives gasped. Pam said, “Not only no, but hell no. You are part of this family – this polyamorous marriage. You stay. You belong with us in this time of need. Please help us heal this terrible situation. My sister wives didn’t handle this well. There’s no need for this reaction.”

Dave became aware of Pam chewing out Alice and Julie for their lack of sensitivity and callousness in what they’d said, and the time and place they decided to talk about their relationship with Owen. She was spitting angry. Dave hadn’t heard this kind of anger in the Circle between members, if ever, let alone between his own family members. He wanted it to stop. He willed it to stop.

He also heard Heather requesting that other Circle members and guests leave them alone for a bit. “This is a family matter that we need to deal with. Please bear with us.”

Eventually, Scarlett spooned wrapped her half-naked body behind Dave’s and hugged him to her as she kissed his neck and one ear. She told him repeatedly how much she loved him and how grateful she was to be in his family like this and how proud she was of him and his accomplishments and his attitude about life.

Cricket took over in her own way sitting in front of him and stroking his arm and face. “We all love you, Dave. Alice and Julie are right here, and they’re not leaving you for Owen or anybody else. There was so much more to what they wanted to say, but ... well, you fell apart before they could get the rest of the message across. That’s NOT your fault. You were the victim here to a bad choice of how to say what they wanted to say.”

Ever the logical one, Pam sat cross-legged next to the bench with little Bobby in her lap. “Darling Dave, please listen to us. The communications between Alice and you got really screwed up here a few minutes ago. Do you want to hear a left-brain person talk about what happened here a few minutes ago?”

Dave kind of nodded so Pam went on.

“There are four possibilities in a communication between two people. There’s what the person intended to say, what they actually said, what you heard, and what you thought you heard. Every one of those is an opportunity for a miscommunication, especially the last one.

“Alice did not intend to say or imply that she and Julie were leaving you. She started with something she wants to talk to you about – a possible result, rather than explaining where she got an idea, how it matured in her head, the full situation, and the conclusions she drew. The same with Julie.

“You, on the other hand, heard her but interpreted it as a message that was not at all what she meant. Neither Alice nor Julie is leaving you. Your marriage to them is intact, whole, solid, going full bore, and you are deeply loved by both of them – by all of us that are your wives and even everybody in the Circle. There are right here crying and looking very sad about how this turned out.”

Alice choked out a short comment between sobs, “I’m ... devastated ... by ... wabbgh ... gowhhg.” [Sob.]

After a minute, Dave uncoiled slightly and looked at the Circle of his wives through his still glassy eyes. He gasped, “Some kind of cola, please.” He tried to sit up, and Cricket and Scarlett helped get him get seated on the chaise. A bottle of water was thrust into his hands almost instantly. He rinsed out his mouth and spit onto the patio again, and then drank a little.

Somebody came by and put down some towels in over the puddle of vomit he’d left.

Alice sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t do this well at all.” Julie was also crying beside her and nodding in agreement with what Alice said.

Alice plopped down beside him on the bench and hugged him. She apologized again. Julie sat on his other side saying much of the same and kissing his shoulder and arm. They were truly contrite. Their faces were red and distorted as tears cascaded down their cheeks.

Scarlett handed him a can of Diet Coke. He sipped some and washed the terrible taste of his bile away.

Dave shook his head. “I’m wiped out. I’m sorry I reacted that way. I just thought the worst that could happen was happening.”

Alice sobbed, “No, no, no. It’s nothing bad; at least I don’t think so. I talked to some of the others, and they thought it was a cute idea.”

Dave held his head in his hands. It seemed so heavy. He talked but down at the ground at first, “Tell me. I’ll listen and try not to collapse on you again.”

Alice sobbed, “I’m worried now. Maybe it’s not such a good idea anymore.”

“Try me,” he said looking up and beside himself at Alice and then Julie.

Julie said, “Let me start; at least I can talk for now.” She took a huge gulp of air and sighed. “There are a whole bunch of things going on in the Circle that we linked together for good or bad. A few minutes ago, we thought it was a great idea. First, everyone knows that Owen is single, and there’s a lot of pressure from the media for him to find a wife. They’re always touting his ‘most eligible bachelor’ status and speculating about whom he’ll eventually chose to wed. He waves it off since all of their speculations are socialites that he has no interest in, and we know he loves all the women in the Circle, but we also know he especially loves Alice and me.

“Moreover, you like Owen, although I know there have been times way back when you thought you’d lost Alice to him. This is NOT one of those times. We all like him, and it has nothing to do with his money – we all know that, too.

“We then met Mark Worthington, the other billionaire, and his family. He is ‘married’ – in quotes – just like we are to about ten women – maybe more depending on how you count. He has a big polyamorous family. I’m not sure of the number but it’s in that ballpark. He spoke of how his family was overloaded with women, and so he oversaw the annexation into his ‘family’ of four men. We met one of them a couple of weeks ago when they came for dinner – Deke. They’re reportedly are all very nice men and we got along great with them when they were here. Mark said it was like his wives were even married to them, too.”

Alice had calmed down, so she spoke, “And then we thought about how we’re always talking about how the Circle is very egalitarian, but all the polyamorous relationships so far involve a guy and multiple women. What’s missing is the opposite, some place where a woman in the Circle is ‘married’ to multiple men.” Alice made little quote gestures with both hands, and then she sobbed again and couldn’t speak.

Pam said knowingly, “The last part of what they were seeing was the trend in the Circle as we’ve grown towards specialization. People are developing favorites that they like to be with, even forming couples or threesomes or foursomes or more that they really like to be with and make love with. Not everybody, but a lot of the people. They still circulate with everyone, but more on our Friday or Saturday ‘group’ nights.”

Dave muttered, “Can you name some?”

Pam spoke softly, “Yes. Mike and Clarisse have a thing for Kat, and through her Sean. Grace and Jack have an affinity for Lisa and Jim. Jason and Robyn are nuts over Susan. Dale and Susan also have embraced Amanda and Gail. Although they’re not members yet, Wolf and Carolyn, who aren’t members but will be, are crazy in love with Sheri. Those are just a few examples. We’ve been using the shorthand ‘specialization’ to describe the phenomena. We all do it.”

Heather volunteered, “When I’m not with you, I love being with your brother Aaron and Shelby.”

Dave nodded, “You left out Julie, Alice, and Owen.”

Julie said, “We were coming to that next. You know that Alice and I love Owen – we always have. When you’re busy or when we just feel inclined, he’s our go-to guy. You know we sleep over with him some of the time when he’s here, me especially. I get to travel with him, too.

“But DAVE, I love you, AND I also love Owen. So does Alice. He’s OUR specialization.”

Alice said, “Owen wouldn’t be an ‘OR’; he’d be an ‘AND’. My idea was that we’d do a commitment ceremony with him just like we did for the rest of your wives. I’d kind of marry him like Cricket married us – and Heather, Pam, and Julie. Maybe Julie would really and legally marry him just as I’m legally married to you.”

Julie said, “All that was in the spirit of the things we just talked about: Owen’s status, seeing what Mark and family had done, our ideas on equality of the sexes and family makeup, and the trend in specialization, and the idea just popped into my mind. I own it, and I sold it to my sister.”

Alice said, “Honestly, it wasn’t much of a selling job. I liked it as soon as I heard about it. It seemed like a logical extension of how we were already living as a polyamorous family. The poly bits have to go both ways if we really are an egalitarian society.”

Everyone was quiet for a long time. There was no more to be said on the issue.