Edited by Barney R. Further massaged by Grammarly.
I had to mess with it and so as always, all mistakes are my fault.
Mother-In-Law interference wrecked my happy home.
My name is Terrence Carver, TC (not Terry) to my friends; I am 33 and Divorcing from Stacy Carver (nee Taylor). Thank goodness there are no children.
I am a software engineer for a local conveyor manufacturer. My duties are site prep and system design. I am on the road maybe 1 week a month, with mostly overnight trips. The work is interesting, and at times demanding.
Stacy was employed by a local headhunter group. Her title was personal assistant and she works with one of the partners named Jerry McGee. Jerry is older and happily married to a wonderful lady.
I met Stacy at a job fair about nine months after I got out of the Army. I had gone to college on an ROTC scholarship and served a lot of my 5-year commitment in Arlington Virginia at a small research facility, I was the liaison officer for many projects that involved military input. That is all I can say about my military career.
Stacy was manning a booth with Jerry at this job fair, and when I presented my resume to Jerry and explained what I could of my military background, he asked Stacy to take me for some coffee so he could go over the resume.
Stacy is a year younger than me. She started at the agency right out of college. Her degree is in human resource management. She took the agency job because a lot of companies farm out there HR functions now.
After coffee and conversation, we went back to talk to Jerry. As we were walking back, I asked for and got Stacy’s cell phone number.
Jerry asked me what I wanted to work on in my working life. I told him I found material handling very interesting, and a field where advances could be made to improve the state of the art.
Jerry put me in contact with the people at a company named Rapid Motion Inc. I was hired and am still working there.
I called Stacy the night of the job fair. When I asked if I could take her out for dinner, she replied that she thought that was a great idea. She did think that we should have lunch or a good conversation over coffee first. Her idea was to get to know each other first.
The lunch went well, I found out we shared a passion for live theatre, live concerts of all kinds of music (rap and hip-hop excluded) and running. I also found out that Stacy had not been in a relationship for almost a year, and that one was over because the “Asshole couldn’t keep it in his pants.”
I told her that I also had a large music collection mostly pop (not rock) and swing era vocals. I also explained that I am an avid reader with a collection of around 2,000 books. I told her about my relationships or lack of. I explained that with college, and the Army, I had not pursued any female companionship. I also explained that when I was in high school, I was not often without a girlfriend, and surprisingly some of the “in crowd” girls; even though I did not really belong to any of the cliques that were part of that time.
As we talked, I sensed an attraction and decided to pursue a possible connection. I asked Stacy if we could get together again, and she said she would like that.
I had a lot to do with starting a new job, moving into a new apartment and reconnecting with my family. I did not call Stacy for a couple of nights, and we made arrangements to have dinner and see a local production of ‘Oklahoma’.
Things went well, and we dated for nearly three months never progressing sexually beyond goodnight kisses. Stacy must have been getting very frustrated, because one afternoon when we were window shopping in the local mall, she asked me if I was gay.
I answered; “Not on your life. What brought that question on?”
She replied, “You take me out to dinner, plays, concerts, and just nice drives in the country, and yet you haven’t tried to get in my panties. I am not a virgin, but I have standards, I am beginning to wonder if I am meeting your standards.”
I got serious and asked her to sit down. “Let me explain my personal code of conduct. I am also not a virgin, but the girl I was serious enough about to first make love to, I found out, was only trying to win a pool to see who could get my cherry. She then laughed when I asked her out again; and told me of the bet. Because of that, I do not make any aggressive moves until I have asked a lady to be exclusive.”
“Do you want us to be exclusive?” she asked.
“Yes, I do, but I have not asked because I sense hesitation from you. Can you tell me what the problem is?”
“I am just not sure of your intentions as I haven’t had to fight off ‘octopus arms’ from you. I now understand why. TC, you are an honorable man, and I would very much like to be your exclusive. If I can be a little childish, I want to be your girlfriend.”
I was surprised and pleased. I took her hands and kissed both palms. “You have made a happy man. I can see us in a very serious relationship.”
We continued together and about a month after the mall conversation I took Stacy to my apartment and made love to her. The first time was plain vanilla, but unless she is a great actress, we were both satisfied.
Shortly after I asked Stacy to marry me and she agreed. I bought her a nice but not gaudy ring. We started to plan our wedding, and of course, Stacy’s mother Jane had to insist on her plan. Her plan was to invite all of her father’s business associates and use the wedding as part of a campaign to get Gary, Stacy’s dad a promotion.
Because of Jane’s interference, I almost called the wedding off. I was insisting on my paying for everything, but I told Stacy and Jane that if we follow Jane’s plan, I would not be attending. That was met with an angry scowl by Jane, Stacy saw the scowl and told her mother that we would either plan the wedding the way we wanted it, or we would just go to the local family court and have a judge marry us.
That shut Jane up for a good 20 seconds. Then she said; “Fine, then I will not be attending. You are my only daughter, and I want you to have a memorable event.”
Stacy replied angrily; “We will miss you, this is going to be TC’s and my ‘event’, not a business meeting.” She went on, “If we don’t see you there it will be your loss. The wedding will go on even if you aren’t there. I am sure that Daddy will agree with us. Too bad you won’t be there to make it a complete family group. We will miss you.”
With that, Stacy grabbed me and we left. We heard that Gary told Jane that if she didn’t attend, he would not be coming back to her from the wedding. Jane reluctantly agreed to go.
I discovered from that incident and others that Jane is a controlling drama queen and if things did not go her way, she would find things to complain about. When she did find something, she let everyone within hearing know about it. At the wedding reception Gary told her loudly to “Shut up, this is not your party, if you need to find fault the door is just behind your chair, don’t let it slap your ass when you leave. Here’s $20 to let you take a cab home.”
That shut her up but earned me scowls from her. Later I discovered that she carried a grudge until it died an unnatural death. Then she would pick it up and carry it for another life.
Shortly after we were married, Stacy asked if children were important to me. We had just bought a house, and Stacy was unsure if I was intending to try and fill it with kids.
I know it sounds selfish, but I told Stacy that I thought that most of the world’s problems were caused by too many people, and if she did not want to add to the problem, I was fine with it. Of course, that did not stop Jane from starting to broadly hint that it might be a good idea to start on Grandchildren.
I finally had enough of Jane’s meddling, insults, and comparisons to Stacy’s old boyfriends. I told Stacy that while I would not stop her from visiting her mother, but I would not stay in our house with her. If she insisted on inviting her mother, I would find somewhere else to be.
That earned me our first of many arguments. It was also the first time I was so mad that I grabbed my clothes for the next day and slept on the couch. I never did give in, and every time Jane knocked on the door, I got in my car and left.
Now we get to the reason for our pending divorce. About 8 months ago, Stacy started spending 4 or 5 evenings at her mother’s house. I let it go for about 6 weeks and then went to a hotel for a week. Stacy did not even notice for 5 days. When she finally realized I wasn’t at the house she called me crying asking “Where are you? Why aren’t you at home? Who are you with?”
“Well,” I shot back, “I don’t seem to have a home anymore; my wife is going home to mommy every night. Do you know that this is the fifth night I have stayed away from the house? Oh and by the way, I am not the one who has put someone else before their marriage partner. I am in a hotel, and there is no one else here.”
“Five days, where are you staying?” she cried.