Chapter 9: Nut, Nuts, Nutter

“Your husband called a few times,” Mark chimed in, holding the door for him, and seeing him to his desk like he was crippled.

Carter threw his secretary a confused look.

“You dropped your phone here, before heading to your meeting with Yolanda. I didn’t answer. But it’s all for the best that you didn’t have your phone with you,” Mark added in a low whisper. “I heard she’s a beast if something or someone interrupts her meetings.”

“Really?” Carter asked in a dry flat tone.

Mark was even newer than him here, and he already knew the pet peeves of the upper management. His fresh-faced secretary was clearly a pro.

“How old did you say you were, Mark?” he asked, as he took the phone and stared at the missed calls for a couple of seconds.

Aron must have known he was not to be interrupted during his meetings with the higher-ups, even if, by higher-ups, he only meant Yolanda. Aron must have known everything about his husband. That meant that it was some emergency.

His tongue turned to sandpaper in his mouth. Could it be that Alex woke up, and found himself in Carter’s body? His hands trembled slightly. How was he going to explain to Aron he had played the role of a fake husband all this time? Damn, the situation was becoming more and more complicated. Could they send both him and Alex to the loony bin, provided that they seemed to share the same psychosis? Wasn’t that enough proof that they weren’t actually crazy?

And how was Aron going to feel about him, when all this was going to blow up? Just as things seemed to be on the mend somehow.

“Boss?”

He stared at Mark, shaking his head, like a bunch of bees were trying to find their queen in between his ears.

“Have you heard my answer? I’m 22. But I can assure you I am a professional.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” Carter just nodded quickly. “Sorry, I am a bit...” he ran one index finger in a circle, pointing at his temple.

Great, now he was admitting to his secretary he was insane. He crooked his index finger, trying to do something with it, something that didn’t necessarily point out at the mess in his head. Eventually, he just let his hand down and placed it in his pocket.

“Don’t worry, boss,” Mark said brightly.

“Please, don’t call me that, it makes me feel old and crappy. Call me Ca ... Alex,” he caught himself right in time. “Alex will do. It’s my name,” he gestured towards his chest like he was Tarzan trying to tell Jane his name. Yeah, he was Tarzan all right, minus the testosterone and the cave man charm.

If Mark was surprised by his boss’s behavior, he didn’t show it. He was, indeed, a pro.

“Ah, I cannot do that, boss,” he said brightly. “You have a reputation to uphold. What if anyone overhears me calling you by your first name?”

“What kind of reputation is that?” Carter looked, puzzled, at his secretary.

Mark took almost a military stance, placing his hands behind his back, and looking somewhere above Carter’s head. For a second, he had the distinct sensation that the guy was going to sing the national anthem.

“Alex Ruskin is known for his incredible looks, of course, but apparently, he has the reputation of a slave driver and a taskmaster. No personal assistant seems to be capable of surviving his verbal whip for more than a few months. A slip of the tongue made the last secretary of the famous and infamous Alex Ruskin shamefully exit Beauty X, through the back door. Allegedly, the unfortunate PA failed to address the local fashion icon properly, when in polite company.”

Carter stared at Mark, curious to see if the guy was still breathing after saying all that in one go. Miraculously, he was.

“Who said that?” he pointed his phone at Mark.

“New Entertainment, of course,” Mark answered promptly.

“That is...”

Not true, he wanted to add, but it might have been.

“ ... a misunderstanding,” he chose instead, just for the sake of being diplomatic.

“Sorry, boss, even if that’s true, I don’t want to seek employment starting tomorrow. If I make it under you, then I can make it anywhere. So you’re boss to me for now.”

“Wow, bossy,” Carter shook his head. “Well, you seem to have everything figured out. Don’t let me stand in your way. What’s next for me on the do-to list for today?”

Mark was about to reply to that, when Carter’s phone went off.

“Sorry, I have to take it, it’s Aron,” he said quickly.

Mark saluted, and with a smack of his heels and a one eighty, he went out the door, leaving Carter alone.

He took a deep breath. There was no point to postpone this.

“Hi,” he answered in a meek voice.

“Hi,” Aron’s voice called from the other end.

Strangely enough, Aron seemed just as chastised as Carter was.

“I called to tell you that I’m sorry,” Aron added quickly, after a couple of seconds of awkward silence.

“Uhm? What for?” Carter asked.

This could not be about Alex waking up in Carter’s body. He felt strangely relieved.

“For last night. For leaving you sleep on the sofa. For this morning. I shouldn’t have...”

“Eh, let bygones be bygones,” Carter sat at his desk.

“No, I must ask for your forgiveness. I would like to take you out tonight. Someplace nice. I really need to make it up to you.”

“Nah, I’m not really in the mood for that. And I was an ass, too. I was actually planning to blow you to make it up to you.”

The moment the words left his mouth, he knew he was the biggest idiot in the whole universe. That was why it was better if he remained silent most of the time, and not let whatever he was thinking fly out like that.

“Wow,” Aron replied, but his tone was playful now. “Then I have something to really look forward to, for tonight.”

“But we made up,” Carter said quickly. “You said you’re sorry.”

Even to his ears, he sounded unconvincing.

“No way, you’re not talking your way out of this,” Aron said, his voice dropping lower. “And really, you’re not upset?”

“No, I’m not,” he sighed. “But I must warn you. I am a bit rusty. Sorry if I’ll gag.”

Aron burst into laughter on the other end.

“You’ve only been in the hospital for a few days. How rusty could you have gotten?”

Especially with all the practice around the block, Carter thought, as he began to pinch the bridge of his nose. He was worse than a nutty cartoon duck navigating a minefield. He just kept blowing stuff up. Blowing ... He shook his head.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’m sure it’s like riding a bicycle. It will all come back to you once you get back in the saddle. Speaking of which,” Aron’s voice dropped another note or two. “How long do you plan to keep me waiting until I can have your beautiful ass?”

“I had some blood tests done,” Carter answered. “What if I got some bug while in the hospital? What if I give it to you, too?” he continued, almost congratulating himself for this new idea that had just come to him.

“We kissed and ... Okay, but when did you turn into a hypochondriac? I know that no one is supposed to ruffle your feathers, but you didn’t use to have this obsession with illness.”

“Hey, it’s not like I face a situation like that every day. I need to make sure I’m healthy.”

“All right,” Aron admitted. “I can wait to fuck your sweet ass. Especially since you plan on giving me blowjobs as compensation,” he added with a small chuckle that seemed to work wonders on Carter’s ear, brain, spine, and the entire nervous system.

Aron’s words were setting him on fire. Figuratively. And they also made it hard for him to concentrate. What were they talking about? Ah, blowjob. Blowjobs. Hmm, blowjobs?

“Blowjob,” Carter said quickly. “Without the s, like in one versus ... more than one. I can only agree to one.”

Aron laughed.

“Don’t be so picky about everything. I know how much you like to blow me,” Aron spoke, his voice husky and low.

Carter winced as a strange jolt went up his spine, making the hair on his head stand on its ends. Funny, it felt like he was aroused. Just to check, he pressed one hand over his crotch. Was that thing working overtime? He threw an incredulous look at the bulge in his skinny jeans.

“Ah, damn,” he whispered.

Great. Now his voice sounded low and sexy, too.

“Are you alone?” Aron questioned him.

“In the office? Right now? Yeah,” Carter murmured.

Was that AC still working or what? The stylish room thermometer on his desk showed that the temperature was perfect. Why on earth he felt so hot, all of a sudden?

“Me too. I’m going to lock the door, just in case.”

Why was Aron locking the door to his office?

“Don’t you have work to do?” he whispered, like he was afraid someone might hear him.

The feeling that whatever he was doing right now was somewhat of an illicit nature was starting to bother him.

“Do the same,” Aron whispered, and Carter moved, like he was in a trance.

“I did. Happy now?” he tried to sound casual, but he kind of suspected what Aron wanted.

Not the entire animal farm singing could save him at this point. He was trapped. But it was not like he was going to run away. Maybe that was needed. Maybe Aron had to discover his husband was not his husband, by accident or otherwise. And then he was just going to ask Carter what the hell he was doing in Alex’s body.

“Tell me what you are planning for tonight,” Aron cooed in his ear.

The door was locked, but Carter could still feel himself exposed. He slid under his desk and coiled into a corner, holding the phone glued to his ear.

“Uhm, I’m going to blow you,” he said with half the conviction needed, and double than what he felt.

“Could you please go into details?” Aron continued to speak in the same husky tone.

Carter could swear he was hearing rustling of clothes. And the way Aron’s drawl was tickling his ear, like he was right there, next to him, wasn’t of any help. He needed to concentrate. He bit his lips, trying to reign in the shudder of excitement coursing through his body.