Chapter 4: It’s None of Your Business!

“Would you slow down a bit? I thought you were still feeling a bit sick after all the medicine you took at the hospital,” Aron eyed him warily, like he was on the point of giving him the Heimlich maneuver, if need be.

“I don’t need to slow down,” Carter shrugged as he stuffed his face with another slice of pizza. “Trust me, after you face your death like I did, you won’t have any issue with eating a whole pizza either. You know, the things that make you feel alive. And satisfied,” he groaned in delight, as he took another bite.

“Well, there are other things that can make you feel just as much alive, if not more,” Aron wiggled his eyebrows in the worst attempt at sexual innuendo possible.

Carter wanted to say something that would sting Aron preferably in places not seen by the sun under normal circumstances, but eventually chose not to.

“All in due time,” he replied, as he reached for another beer.

“It’s funny, you know,” Aron spoke, as he ate, too, but at a much slower pace than his husband. “I never thought I would do this with you.”

“Eating pizza? Yeah, I know. You told me. I’m all against carbs. I promise I’ll go back on a diet. Soon.”

Preferably not, but he had to just say it, to confirm that he was Alex, not that Aron could ever suspect such a freakish thing as having his best friend trapped in his husband’s body. Ex best friend.

Let’s keep the facts straight, Carter. At least the facts.

“No, not just eating pizza. You know, stuff friends do. We played ball together, we’re now having beer ... You never do stuff like this with me. And I get it,” Aron added and looked away guiltily. “Your career is important. It requires a certain lifestyle. And I knew that when I proposed. When I fell in love with you.”

“Hey, you don’t have to explain it,” Carter hurried. “Well, it’s not like I’m going to stay young and pretty forever,” he joked. “I’ll have to give up on all these ... restrictions, eventually. And then you’ll have me all to yourself.”

At least, he hoped that was something Alex would have said. Aron looked a bit down, not like he was depressed or something, but like he was contemplating whether admitting to have his husband consider his personal vendetta against carbs more important than their life together was a good or a bad thing.

“Hey, you do know how to cheer up a guy,” Aron chuckled softly and took another sip from his beer. “Thanks. But don’t threaten me that you won’t stay young and pretty forever. That’s not what I signed up for.”

Carter laughed.

“Well, honey, marriage is for life, and if you ever think of abandoning me in favor of some piece of fresh ass, I’ll pull your eyes out.”

Was that enough to sound like the diva Alex probably was? He hoped so. But Aron became serious again.

“Please don’t speak like this. I’ve never cheated on you.”

Oh, that. That was a sore point right there. He shouldn’t have needled at it, but for some reason curiosity was eating him up inside.

“Yeah, I don’t remember that either. Why would I think that? You’re the perfect husband.”

He was totally talking out of his ass right now, but he wanted Aron to stop looking like a beaten dog. The verbal thrashing Aron must have gotten from Alex would probably have been of biblical proportions. And, if Alex was suspecting Aron of cheating, he surely didn’t think he was married to the most awesome guy in the universe.

“If you don’t remember, that’s probably for the best,” Aron sighed. “Let’s just bury the hatchet.”

Carter shrugged.

“If you say so.”

He was fine with everything either way, as long as Aron was okay with it, too. And he was pretty damn sure that Alex was an asshole to think his husband was a cheater.

They had spent the rest of the day watching TV and chillaxing. It was a tad unnerving how familiar it felt. Just another occasion to realize how much he was missing Aron’s company. They had been best buds since first grade. They had always been together until that moment. Or, better said, he had always felt he had been left behind, ever since Aron went away, after college. Only that he didn’t want to go there.

Why couldn’t he live with the fact that Aron liked guys, not girls? He had never thought himself a bigot, someone ready to throw a bible at non-believers and whatnot. But he could still not explain it, why he had acted that way, that day. He wouldn’t.

Shut up, brain. That’s none of your business.

It had just felt like something had just been stolen from him. Like someone was doing that so that Carter could not have Aron anymore. Would he have acted the same if Aron had been marrying a woman? He could not tell. His gut instinct was telling him that he would have just been happy for the guy. No hard feelings. As he had always thought. Aron with some nice girl, in a nice house, with nice kids, inviting Carter over for beers and watching a game on Sundays. That had been a part of life that he had thought he had all figured out. Until that horrible day.

The fact that Aron was marrying a guy had struck him with the force of a thousand lightning bolts, right in the head and in the chest, messing him up in a single moment. He had hated Alex without even meeting the guy. The fact that he had learned about him later, that he was in the fashion business and all that, had only come to confirm his suspicions that a douchebag had stolen his best friend away from him.

“Were there others before me?” he blurted out without thinking.

Aron’s eyes grew wide in surprise.

“Look, Alex, I already told you that I didn’t cheat,” he said severely.

“Yeah, I know. But before me. Had you been with others?”

“What kind of a question is that? You well know I had,” Alex exclaimed. “Are we going to go over all my past relationships now?”

“Why not?” This time, Carter was sure he didn’t want to let go. “Not that I’m jealous or anything. I’m just curious.” Curious how he could have been so blind not to notice his best friend liked guys. That went to prove what a head in the clouds could do, after all.

“Curious about new ways to fuel your paranoia?” Aron snapped. “You are always so obsessed that I might look at someone else in a way that you don’t like. Drop it, Alex. Seriously, I thought you were going to be more honest about everything, after being married for two years.”

Aron got up from the sofa, taking the bottle of beer with him. Carter stared after him, wondering. What kind of marriage did these two have? Sounded like a complicated one. Was he really going to intervene like this? All he wanted was to understand his best friend better. Ex-best friend. He had blown that all right.

And now he was just messing up the guy’s marriage even more, only because he was curious. The point was, Aron had made pretty good efforts to seem hetero, for as long as he could remember. He had been dating girls, while they were in high school and college. Who could have suspected Aron of being gay? He certainly did not.

But whatever questions he had, he needed to just wait until he was himself to get the answers for. But what if he never woke up from that hospital bed? Well, maybe it was all about the punishment fitting the crime. He had been an asshole about Aron getting married to a guy, and now he had no right to ask the questions he should have asked that day.

And, on top of everything, Aron was pissed. Maybe he should have just stuck to benign things, like light conversation and handjobs. That seemed easy enough. Maybe the same rule applied to body swapping experience as to time travel. He had no right to change things, just like time travelers were not supposed to change the past.

Now, it was up to him to set things right with Aron. No matter how much of a douchebag Alex was, Carter had no right to pass judgement on a wrecked marriage, when they were going to go back to their own selves.

Aron was ready to go to bed, it seemed. Carter stopped for a moment and looked at the man. The guy probably slept naked, because all that Carter could see was his bare torso, as the rest was covered by a thin deep blue blanket. Aron was still pissed, and he was pretending to read something on his laptop.

“Should I just go sleep on the sofa?” he asked.

Aron’s eyes snapped up, looking at Carter like he was seeing his husband for the first time. Ugh, this was growing old. Either Aron came to terms that the accident had forever changed his husband, or Carter learned how to Alex and fast. Both alternatives had a failure prognosis of at least 50%. Or more.

“No, just come here,” the man said gruffly, but pulled back the blanket to welcome his supposedly better half to the conjugal bed.

Carter slid under the cover, decided to just be good from now on, and not try to mess up delicate things like Aron’s marriage.

“You’re going to be hot if you sleep like this. Stop acting like a primadona already and get undressed. I’m not mad, I promise.”

Yeah, right. Carter was no fool. Aron was mad, and as his husband, Carter had to do something about that. A good start was to behave like he didn’t mind being ordered around.

Well, he was supposed to get changed in some pajamas or something. Carter was sure Alex was the type to wear all silk and stuff. But, for now, to appease a miffed husband, he needed to do something else. He had a vague recollection of how one of his ex-girlfriends had shared with him the secret of how to tame a pissed guy. Well, he hoped gay guys were not that different when it came to bedroom affairs.

After all, it was just Alex’s body, and it was no foul play if he decided to use it. So, he got up from the bed, and began to take off his t-shirt. How did those chicks do those striptease shows? He was supposed to have some languorous moves, right?