Chapter 18: That Moment He Knew

So, whoever did the stupid body swap knew very well about it. And was doing nothing to correct the situation. Things were just getting stupider if that was a word.

“Boss?”

It took him two full seconds to realize that Mark was trying to draw his attention. He reluctantly let go of the pencil he had been munching on until being interrupted.

“Yes, Mark,” he said snappily. “Sorry, I’m just in a bad mood,” he added quickly.

His secretary threw him a short look, filled with pity. It lasted about a second, though.

“Yolanda says that she has been going easy on you since you have been through the accident and all, but now she is bent on working your ass off like she knows you need.”

He groaned and covered his face. No wonder Alex felt the need to act like a diva. Being into the fashion business was a frigging pain. There was always something new to do and he hated new things with a fiery passion.

“Tell her I don’t want to,” he said petulantly.

There was so much he could get away with while wearing Alex’s perfect body and face. Who could say no to that man doll?

“I’m afraid it is not up to you, boss,” Mark almost sounded compassionate.

“What’s the point of all these?” he gestured wildly, managing to ruffle his hair, rub his hands in despair and drop down face first on the desk within just a few seconds, much to Mark’s dismay.

“Boss, please, get a grip,” Mark chided him softly. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

“Do I have to travel? Tell me I don’t have to travel,” he begged.

Mark sighed. He didn’t like that sigh.

“It’s for the endorsement tour. For the organic line.”

“Fuck organic,” Carter shook his head in self-pity. “I swear I only want to eat plastic from now on.”

Mark made such a fearful grimace that he knew he had to correct that.

“I am just joking,” he added, glaring from beneath impossibly long eyelashes.

Why did Alex have to be so perfect? It wasn’t fair for the rest of the world. But karma was known to take care of things. Maybe that’s why Alex had to go through the torment of shooting ads, travel for endorsement deals, and have his ass waxed. There was, after all, balance in all things.

Except for one tiny thing. It wasn’t Alex who was supposed to travel now and sleep in a foreign bed for who knew how many nights. He was more than displeased with that part. And he really needed to remain close to his body. He had to make Yolanda see reason. Alex was not that big of a fashion icon, what the hell? He was just a local ... Whatever he was. Well, he did have an expensive car, and his career was probably lucrative, but he was no Kate Moss. So there was not going to be a cold day in hell if he was just going to say no.

You don’t want to be away from Aron, do you?

Shut the fuck up.

You know I’m you. You’re talking to yourself. In your own mind.

Irrelevant.

“Boss, what are you thinking of, right now?” Mark asked, looking at him a bit funny.

“Stuff,” he shrugged.

His answer didn’t seem to make his secretary happy.

“I can help,” Mark offered, and Carter could swear the guy looked almost hopeful while saying that.

“I doubt it,” he said with a sigh.

The look of sorrow on Mark’s face was almost too hard to bear.

“Well, you can help me. Get me out of this. I don’t want to leave town.”

Great, he sounded like a spoilt child. But, wait, wasn’t he supposed to be a diva?

“Yolanda is not that easy to sway,” Mark commented.

“Then tell her that I plan on quitting and becoming an Instagram model if she tries to pressure me into this,” he said fiercely.

He knew squat shit about being an Instagram model, but it was worth a try.

“That is a great idea, boss! I mean the part about becoming big on Instagram, not the quitting part,” Mark spoke. “But I think you should be the one to sell that idea to Yolanda, not me.”

“All right,” he clapped his hands together.

He only needed to post some pictures with cute dogs and a few poorly taken selfies, right? It couldn’t be that hard if Kylie Jenner was doing it. He had heard that from one of his ex-girlfriends. And, if this Instagram gig was going to get him off the hook of traveling to promote that shitty organic line, he was all in.

“Fantastic idea!” Yolanda squealed in delight and almost jumped over her desk to embrace him.

Good thing she was short. She needed to consume her excitement while still sitting in her chair. And he could only congratulate himself for the Instagram idea. Yolanda was rubbing her hands and she was obviously taken with the proposal he had come up with. Although she hadn’t seemed too threatened that he wanted to give up on his career for Instagram fame. She obviously had a plan, but he wasn’t bothered. He had managed to reach his goal, and that was to avoid traveling an leaving behind a horny husband/best friend, and his own body.

He was still smiling in self-content when she spoke again.

“We’ll get you naked.”

“Say what?!” he asked, alarmed.

“It will be something tasteful, don’t worry,” Yolanda waved. “Nudity is not allowed, but we don’t really need you naked-naked anyway. You know. Enough to let them guess.”

“I have real trouble trying to follow you,” he frowned.

The lady was way too happy. Now that worried him. That definitely felt like he had just walked into a trap. Yolanda’s eyes were so moist like she was on the verge of crying with happiness.

“I never thought I would live that day,” she said with a small smile. “The day when I’ll have you posing in sexy, hot underwear.”

“Fuck me,” he murmured.

“Hmm, swimwear, too. All the big names,” Yolanda continued her dream of having her fashion icon pet show his ass all over the place. “You’ve never wanted to do that before.”

“Wait,” Carter tried to intervene, with the risk of popping Yolanda’s pink bubble. “I didn’t say that I want it now!”

“Well, honey, how do you expect to become Instafamous? You need to show the goods, darling. Seriously, I don’t understand what kept you until now. You have a gorgeous body, really Instaready.”

How many words starting with Insta- were there now in the English language due to that social platform?

“Wait, how do you know how I look naked?” he asked, more and more panicked.

“It’s not like those skinny jeans and tight t-shirts you’re wearing leave much to the imagination, sweetie,” Yolanda grinned. “I know you’ll be a star.”

Hmm, what could have kept Alex from becoming, in Yolanda’s words, Instafamous? He felt like there was something slipping through his fingers here, and he could not tell what. And the truth was Alex’s clothes were pretty damn tight. He would not have worn such a thing if threatened if he had been him.

“Don’t I have an Instagram account at all?”

Yolanda stared at him, and for one second or two, she seemed surprised by his question.

“Alex, you told me that Instagram is where celebrities go to die,” she eventually spoke.

“Really?” he began scratching his head.

He was no expert, but that statement sounded really weird.

“Don’t worry,” Yolanda waved. “You’ll be an Instastar like this,” she snapped her fingers. “C’mon, you’re the embodiment of Instacool. People will love you.”

“Will I have more followers than Kylie Jenner?” he asked, feeling terribly out of the loop.

“Alex, hun, you know I love you, but you’re talking about an Instaqueen here. But, don’t worry. We will do everything to make you the biggest you can be. We believe in you.”

“Wow, how encouraging,” he commented dryly.

Maybe if he was acting like an ass, she was going to go easy on him. But Yolanda was clearly having none of it.

“All you’ll have to do is let us take care of you. Really, you’re so beautiful and sexy, Alex, that you don’t have to do anything. We will make it happen.”

He groaned and covered his eyes. In retrospect, wouldn’t it have been easier to say ‘yes’ to that endorsement tour? He had a hunch Alex was going to kill him for this Insta-bullshit, the moment they were going to be reverted to their designated-at-birth bodies.

But no, he couldn’t. And not because of Aron, he tried to convince himself. There was the problem with his body still in a coma, and the fact that he could not be away too long. At least, that was he was thinking. Well, sacrifices had to be made, and if Alex was going to get pissed about all this, that was just too bad.

“You’re going to be so famous,” Yolanda continued to speak, most probably mistaking the cause of his distress.

“Wait, so I’m going to prance around in my birthday suit?” his head shot up, realization hitting him.

“Hun, I told you. You’re going to advertise some really cool underwear.”

“Great, just the same thing, if you’re asking me,” Carter said.

“Come now, why the long face?” Yolanda patted his hand. “You love the attention.”

“Right,” he sighed.

Well, that was that, then. He was going to show his butt, after all. Wait, what if Aron wasn’t okay with this?

“I need to ask my husband,” he raised one finger.

“Aron? Why?” Yolanda looked, a bit puzzled, at him.

“Maybe he doesn’t want me to show everyone, you know, the goods,” he explained and leaned back in his chair.

Was Aron the possessive type? He really hoped so. But he had no idea about that.

“Let’s call him,” Yolanda offered.

“What? Like right now? I’m sure he’s busy.”

He needed to be alone with Aron when he was going to talk about getting buck naked on camera.

“Well, try. Maybe he’s not that busy,” Yolanda insisted.

“Wait, I left my phone in my office.”

Of course, the lady didn’t like interruptions. He could have just let the phone on vibrations, but he had not thought too much about it.

“No problem, we’ll use mine,” Yolanda quickly began fiddling with her phone.

“Do you have Aron’s number?” he asked, a bit taken aback by the whole thing.

Ah, sure, Aron had mentioned before about Yolanda calling him.

“Of course. So I can always reach you,” Yolanda said promptly.

Hmm, again, he felt like he had just played into one of his boss’s snares.

“Oh, hi, Aron,” Yolanda began cheerfully.

“Give him to me,” Carter gestured, and tried to reach for the lady’s phone over the desk.

Yolanda seemed to be quite nimble, as she evaded his move right away.

“No, everything’s fine. But do you have a moment? Alex and I would like to ask you something,” she continued, while he circled the desk.

Great, she was good at running, too. Right now, he was pretty certain they looked like in one of those one-century old comedy movies, trying to chase one another around the table.

“We’re thinking about making Alex Instafamous,” Yolanda continued, as she sped up.

Hmm, he needed to be clever about this. He stopped and examined his enemy over the desk. Yolanda had such a satisfied smile that he was certain she had played him like a poker champion.

“He’ll have to pose in tasteful underwear. He’s just worried you might say no,” Yolanda continued.

That was it. He needed to speak to Aron. Yolanda almost dropped her phone as he jumped on the desk in one swift move and took only two steps to land on her side. She didn’t even put any resistance when he grabbed the phone from her hand.

“Aron, just say no,” he shouted into the phone.

“Hmm, hello to you, too,” Aron drawled lazily. “Why should I say no? I’m no jealous husband. And it’s not like you’ll be completely naked.”

“Why aren’t you on my side?” he complained.

Aron laughed.

“Because I know you’re gorgeous and I want the whole world to know it.”

“Can’t you be a little more possessive?” he huffed.

“Hmm, nah, I feel quite generous right now,” Aron joked. “Also, I’ll know for a fact that I’ll be the envy of the universe.”

“Give me that,” Yolanda finally found it in her to intervene.

Hah, now she was going to taste some of her own medicine. He was the one to start running around the desk, with Yolanda on his tail.

“What are you two doing there?” Aron asked, most probably intrigued by the ruckus on the other end.

“Yolanda is being a total kid,” he answered promptly.

“Am not,” the woman was trying hard to keep up with him. “You’re the kid. You must do this, Alex,” she stopped, exhausted now. “You must be Instafamous. It’s time. Don’t keep your fans waiting any longer. Any more of this ‘I don’t want to be on Insta’ crap, and they’ll start to forget about you. Do you want to be just a pretty face?”

“Ah, so I’m supposed to be a pretty butt, too!”

He cursed the moment he had come up with the Instagram idea. Everything he was doing these days was just going against him. He was amazing at beating himself up.

“You love the attention!” Yolanda said loudly, in frustration. “Stop feeling so insecure!”

Insecure? Alex? Alex the fashion star? Carter remained silent, staring at Yolanda like he could not believe it.

“Yes, Alex, Yolanda is right,” Aron intervened. Yolanda must have shouted so loud that even he had heard it. “You must let go of these insecurities. People will love you. They already do.”

Hmm. This was really weird.

“I’m not insecure,” he mumbled.

Yolanda looked as if she pitied him.

“Go ahead, and take this offer,” Aron encouraged him. “It will make you feel better. I know it will.”

“Okay,” he exhaled. “I’ll do it, at least, just to have you, people, off my back already. I suppose that I will have the entire universe on my back, in return, staring at my ass, but well ... Fuck me, right?”

Yolanda stared at him, frowned for a second, and then she started laughing. Apparently, Aron was in total accord with his boss, because he was laughing, too.

“I can barely wait to see your first Instagram posts,” Aron spoke. “I’ll be your number one fan.”

“Fine, fine,” Carter decided to surrender.

“Then it’s settled,” Yolanda moved quickly and snatched the phone from him. “Thanks a lot for all the help, Aron. You’re a sweetheart. Yes, of course, I will take care of your husband. Smooches!”

“So, what do I have to do now? And what about those guys with their organic line?” He felt a little guilty right now.

Yolanda waved.

“We have bigger fish to fry. And don’t worry. We’ll just arrange an interview with some amazing pictures, and publish it in the biggest fashion magazines, for the organic line,” she added. “They will be pleased with the exposure, and all I have to do is talk to the media planner. I have plenty of ropes to pull.”

“Well, if no one’s hurt, that’s fine by me. But wait? What the hell do I say in that interview?”

“Whatever you said when you went to New Entertainment is completely fine,” Yolanda hurried to give him peace of mind.

“I just said a bunch of bs,” he shrugged.

“It was perfect,” Yolanda said with conviction. “Continue to stick to that.”

He wasn’t particularly happy as he walked out of Yolanda’s office. Damn, couldn’t the powers that be change him back to his own body already? But that ... that meant that he could no longer enjoy waking up next to Aron and...

Brain, what are you doing? Stop!

Mark had done a great job arranging the shooting session and having him answer over the phone to all the questions. He had had no idea before walking in Alex’s shoes that this was how journalism was done today. At least, he had expected to be summoned to one or two of those magazines, but they had been more than happy to be sent a bunch of pictures, and have the interview recorded in that manner.

Whatever, it was fine by him. And luckily, the workday was almost over and he hadn’t fucked up too badly. He was even in the mood to pat himself on the back a little. Everyone seemed happy with his choices.

The knock on the door didn’t even bother him.

“Come in,” he cheerfully invited the visitor to let himself in.