Chapter 1

The Saturday after the Downfall of Ann Coulter...

I was buried deep inside Priya’s sweet snatch from behind when I saw a live news bulletin appear, announcing that the Afghan Government had collapsed. Their unity of purpose had ended, an unintended consequence of destroying the Taliban, of course. This wasn’t like the fall of some Western European cabinet, either, with a caretaker premier and negotiations to avoid a fresh round of elections. There was open fighting in the streets of Kabul, Kandahar, Herat, etc., various factions busy trying to slaughter each other, and that I would not stomach.

I now had a fresh commission for Mom, and it was a big one. She was an archangel and she could easily take a host of perhaps six hundred cherubim and six hundred seraphim to do this work. She was to install a new, functioning, transitional regime in place in Kabul and help it consolidate power for a bit, as part of my long-term plan for the region and world. She would act as a angelic viceroy, just as Raphael and Gabriel did in their respective jurisdictions. It would also mean drastic and rapid restructuring of society, at a pace that previously risked the failure of the existing government. This was no longer a practical worry, so I could step ahead with my ambitious agenda for a reformation of the Afghan social order.

“Archangel Miriam, this is your commission and command from me. You know your duty, dear Mother. You will be the first female angelic viceroy, and in a way, that’s fitting. I want an effective administration of that country, I want all factions disarmed for now and forced to comply with the national government, and I want war crimes and atrocities severely punished. Be completely ruthless with these warlords, factions, militias, etc. Sharia law is to be replaced entirely with My Commandments as the default standard, if you will. You have my full carte blanche here. Do what you must to rein in these warlords and bring them to heel.

“I don’t care if people pray to Allah or Jesus or Buddha, as long as they obey the laws, do their work, pay taxes to your regime, accept the decisions of whatever courts you create, and don’t rebel against your lawful authority. Obviously, the mullahs will have to understand that I won’t tolerate female genital mutilations, won’t permit honor-killings, and all fatwas must adhere to the laws of you and the tame cabinet that you appoint. If the new prime minister or whatever proves corrupt, feel free to remove him as well, as necessary, including by force.

“Afghanistan is another model state for us, a test case for bringing angelic rule to much of the globe, as a phase of the transformation of this world into one more in conformity with My Will and My Laws, My Commandments, My Justice. As I’m still coming into my eventual omniscience, there might well be fits and starts, a few missteps, but we’re learning fast, I do believe, and even our imperfect moves already have humanity progressing faster than in generations past.

“All of the issues that were argued and bickered over, while time was running out, while the planet warmed up too much, and just like that, carbon dioxide levels are now back to sensible rates, fish are more plentiful than ever, and forests are coming back to this world. Glaciers are hardening again! Ocean levels are returning to normal, just like that. Hurricane season will have no more surprises unless I wish them for some reason.

“All of those religious wars that I was so sure would never end, they’re being put out like so many wildfires. Peace in the Middle East very much on the horizon at last. By the way, I know full well that Turkey plans to invade the Levant, and when she does, I will rain down wrath on Erdogan like a ton of bricks. He won’t know what’s hit him until it’s far too late. Turkey will soon be part of Gabriel’s mandate, as I suspect Saudi Arabia and other parts of the Middle East will be in time.

“Iran is another matter, come to think of it. The mullahs there might very well act against us when they see themselves surrounded on all sides by my growing empire. So be it. Afghanistan, however, is part of my plan for South Asia, not West Asia. It will, in time, be brought into union with Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Kashmir, Sri Lanka, Nepal, and Bhutan in a massive South Asian commonwealth, if you will.

“My enemies are circling the wagons, trying to muster up the courage to defy me and risk retribution. They’re already negotiating with each other about their plans to overthrow me, setting aside differences between Twelvers, Wahabis, etc. to fight their common adversary. They believe that I’m the Dajjal, not the Almighty. They’re hoping, on some level, that the real Allah will show up with his Mahdi, or the Twelfth Imam, and thus rescue them from my wrath. Well, they can hope in vain, because the only real Allah was Adonai and he annihilated himself two months ago.

“So far, much of the world has been in shock at the revelation of My true nature. They’re still reeling, still gauging and testing my mettle, still making tentative plans for how to handle me. Getting them to hand over LA wasn’t that hard, given that I used the Fear of Me and they were still hesitant to defy me. The Mandate of Heaven, the Chinese call it. We shall see how that principle works in much of the world if the present rulers and leaders don’t comply with My Will,” I encouraged Mom, inadvertently lecturing her before catching myself and blushing a bit (I, God, to blush, what’s with that?).

“From what we’ve seen in the Levant, in the areas ruled by Gabriel, the locals, Muslim, Christians, Yazidis, Druze, and all, have largely been quite grateful to be ruled by the likes of him. Streets are safe, Lord, rapes are down, honor-killings eliminated, theft has dropped, murder and terrorism have plummeted, many women are happy to be able to bare their heads, Muslim or not, the end of FGM has pleased most, and the fact that running water is plentiful, indoor plumbing, better building codes, the power grid, etc. are all operating at greater efficiency, mass transit is developing, and public health and sanitation standards have only improved, all of these are real pluses.

“There has been greater resistance, of course, to the rise of sexual promiscuity, especially among the youth, but without AIDS, HIV, STDs, or cervical cancer, and with a universal basic income to protect sons and daughters alike, the urgency of a ‘decent marriage’ has greatly decreased, of course. Even more so since newborns get UBI of their own, which means that the mothers can spend it on their children’s behalf and increase the household income and standard of living.

“See, Lord? No need to feel shame about lecturing me. Where do you think that you got the tendency? It wasn’t from Lou, I can tell you that much, though I had to get my confidence to speak to him that way, and that took a good long while, I can promise you that much. Anyway, if there’s nothing further, Lord, I shall recruit my small, but powerful force of angelic warriors and set Afghanistan to rights at last,” Mom curtsied politely to me, her God as well as her son, and I kissed her goodbye for now ... with tongue.

“In other news, the Ianist practice of greeting each other with a French kiss has expanded even beyond the official ranks of church membership, with Jews, Christians, Muslims, atheists, Satanist, pagans, etc., especially among the younger generations, gladly embracing this new custom. Also, of course, a growing number of cities, states, counties, provinces, etc. have rolled back their indecency laws to permit nudity and sexual congress in public venues. Colleges, in particular, have seen dress codes reversed, and even high schools have witnessed open defiance of their dress codes as well,” CNN anchorwoman Ana Cabrera visibly squirmed as she read the news, not helped by my decision to amplify the pleasure centers in her brain.

“In San Diego, for instance, groups of sixty-nine people each have publicly walked topless, bottomless, nude, and barefoot, or even in togas, to demonstrate for a comprehensive immigration law, restoration of DACA, and an end to the travel ban. Admittedly, the surprise rescue raid by angelic forces that transported thousands of immigrants safely to LA and its environs helped things considerably in terms of human dignity. While many of them are avowed Ianists, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Wiccans, and many other groups have been represented as well. Three Quaker congregations in Pennsylvania have even dropped their traditional dress code in favor of an ‘anything goes,’ ‘clothing optional’ policy for parishioners, perhaps out of a fear of losing members as quickly as many other denominations have,” Ana continued to shift uncomfortably in her seat, for the whole world to see.

“Indeed, by their own internal statistics, key Methodist, Lutheran, Congregational, Presbyterian, and Episcopalian parishes or jurisdictions have lost so many members that entire counties are no longer serviced at all and every single church has closed shop. The trend in mainline Protestant churches toward extinction is now very much accelerating at a pace that has the church hierarchies in those denominations truly alarmed. Meanwhile, Ianist churches are growing by leaps and bounds, ranks swollen with shocking new increases reported in so-called ‘naked baptisms,’ a practice only carried out for adults. Indeed, membership in the Church of Ian requires one to reach the age of majority by the terms of its own ‘Covenant, Charter, and By-laws’,” Ana’s bosom started heaving a bit, much to my amusement and delight.

“In Canada alone, the numbers of self-declared Christians have been reduced by forty-five percent the past two months, while the same time has seen the numbers of avowed Ianists double. Some of this overlap might reflect Ianist sympathizers even in the existing churches, who might remain nominal Christians while holding Ianist beliefs at the same time. The new Toronto Convocation Hall of the Church of Ian in Canada was able to host mass, polygamous weddings with some fourteen thousand people attending last week, for example,” Ana’s face shone with sweat and she began fanning herself a bit.

“Conversions have increased so exponentially that now half of the Members of Parliament and three of the provincial premiers are open, baptized Ianists. The Chancellor of Germany, the Premiers of Portugal, Latvia, Denmark, and Luxembourg, and the Presidents of Finland and Romania are among notable public converts to the faith, along with the British Foreign Secretary and Home Secretary, as well as the Secretary-General of the United Nations and the Finance Minister of Ireland. As the Papal nuncio to France, Cardinal Montserrat, noted with palpable concern, ‘Christianity’s very existence is now in grave peril.’

“The conversions of the Mayors of Salt Lake City and Provo, Utah, had the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints so alarmed that this morning its Quorum of Twelve Apostles reiterated its warning that one could not ‘return to the fold with the same standing with God as one left if one became apostate, both priesthoods would have to be re-earned, entrance to the Celestial Kingdom would be far from probable, and divorce from a non-priesthood holder would become imperative for wives of apostate men on pain of excommunication.’ In other words, the Mormon Church would rather split couples for eternity than risk letting ‘apostates’ convert their spouses. It also wished to threaten such converts’ hopes for forgiveness upon reconciliation with the Utah-based church,” Ana noted as she pushed her hair back from her hair, more than a little overcome by the heat growing under her skirt.

“A growing number of avowed Ianists have even opted for ink that reflects their conversion, such as one young woman in Washington, DC, who has made a practice of wearing only a cape and boots with the names of Ian Finnegan and his entire known harem tattooed all over her body. Tasha Summers has also been known to approach politicians and French kiss them, in front of wives, husbands, significant others, staff, etc. and pass them notes urging them to vote her way on a variety of public issues. She has claimed, and even shown viral video evidence in some cases, that the public servants in question have been physically intimate with her. She has further asserted that this has helped sway some of their votes in what had been some baffling reversals,” Ana now panted more than a little in response to the obvious arousal.

“She has even taken to calling herself ‘Sexy Girl’ and referring to herself as a ‘superhero who uses sex to fight the forces of evil.’ The admittedly attractive paralegal recently went so far as to claim that she’s now pregnant by a ‘prominent white, Christian, married, middle-aged, Southern Congressman, though I won’t say who. He was remarkably gentle for a selfish, greedy, religious zealot, and didn’t seem to care that I’m black and not a Baptist anymore. His wife didn’t mind me eating her pussy, or eating mine, for that matter.’ According to Tasha Summers, now also a leading minister in the First Church of Ian in DC, ‘don’t worry about me. God will reward me for this.’

“Excuse me, this just in. Three divisions of the Turkish Army have just crossed into Syria, their immediate target appearing to be Aleppo, the largest city in that part of the Levant. The Turkish Air Force is also apparently in flight, commencing air strikes against the local defense forces organized by the Archangel Gabriel and his regime... , “ Ana stopped speaking of her previous topic to cover the latest update, biting her lower lip even now.

While this happened, I summoned the Archangels Michael and Uriel and put them to work.

“Reinforce Gabriel’s forces in Iraq and prepare to strike against Iran. They’re going to attack in coordination with Turkey and Saudi Arabia,” I instructed Michael now, who smiled with eagerness at the prospect of smashing this latest threat to my expanding dominion here on Earth.

“Once Turkey and Iran are beaten, though, the Saudis will have to face their reckoning and soon. I’m sending you, Uriel, with this task and also the mission of strongly urging the King of Jordan to stay out of this mess. After all, his wife is Palestinian and Gabriel and I the ones who gave her people their own country for the first time in history. It wasn’t any President of the United States, Prime Minister of Israel, or Chairman of the Palestinian Authority, not even her husband, who achieved this. It was myself and the Archangel Gabriel, no one else. The King and Queen of Jordan owe me a serious debt,” I commanded Uriel at this point.

“How many warriors for each of us?” Michael asked me now, understandably eager to get his hands on a celestial army.

“Six hundred cherubim and six hundred seraphim each. It’s enough for my mother, so it should suffice for you two fine fellows as well. Even considering that, after this war, we’ll be masters of the Middle East. Undisputed hegemons of the entire region. Israel and Jordan will remain as islands of sovereignty, at least for now, but the bulk of the region will be ours henceforth. We’re going to make such changes here. Gabriel will take care of Turkey, but he can’t be everywhere. It will be your task to smash the Iranian and Saudi forces now.

“I look forward to seeing you guys kick some serious ass, of course, so go do it! Carry out my commands! By the way, Michael, that raid on that detention facility, that was outstanding work! Now those families are together again and they owe both of us a monumental debt. The difference there is that I have no intention of collecting on it. They can repay me by treating others with compassion, kindness, and empathy in the future. I also like that you simply smote the men and women agents blind for long enough to do the job. You didn’t leave any body count at all. Great work. Now, depart!” I gave the two Archangels their marching orders, very pleased at their work so far since they entered my service.

Meanwhile, this whole time, I continued to screw Priya, giving commands to others while balls deep inside her luscious twat. Far from complaining about how I addressed others while humping her, Priya simply kept thrusting back at me with every stroke as if to remind me of her presence (as if I could forget). I loved pounding Priya, the two of us alone for the moment, but unlikely to remain so for good. Inevitably, others would join us, not that I minded in the least, nor did she, judging from her thoughts.

“I should definitely fuck that Tasha Summers, don’t you think, maybe add her as a Naked Prophetess. She has a lot of potential, that one. I’m glad to see her creativity and enthusiasm, not to mention sharp wits, especially given where she lives. Or perhaps I need to formally appoint her my Ambassador to the United States, what do you think? She’s already in DC, after all. My Kingdom is growing in temporal size and power already, and she can be an official citizen of Los Angeles, despite being a DC native. I’ve half a mind to claim Puerto Rico, too, given how it has been mismanaged since the hurricane,” I noted as I thrust even deeper inside Priya and she bumped back at me playfully with her lovely bottom.

“Yes, yes, yes, especially the fucking part! I’d love to taste her pussy and ass on your cock, Lord! Any excuse to suck your dick, anyway. How about Ana, though? Do you want to hump her like this? I think that you do! I noticed that you made her squirm, which I definitely enjoyed,” Priya encouraged me as I pumped harder in and out of her wet, wondrous twat.

“You’re right, of course! Just be sure to take her husband, Benjamin, to bed, yourself. I want to see him hump you in bed right next to us. Apparently, he’s in the middle of playing tennis with a buddy. I don’t think that he’ll miss that too much while in bed with you,” I coughed as Priya laughed, creamed herself, and squeezed my cum out of my balls at last.

Just then, before I could summon Ana, though, I watched her as she announced, “This just in. Iranian and Saudi military forces have now crossed the borders of the Dominion of the Levant, as the territory governed by the Archangel Gabriel, comprised of Syria, Iraq, Lebanon, Egypt, Sinai, the Gaza Strip, the Sudan, Libya, and Chad, is officially called these days. These include the Iranian and Saudi air as well as ground forces, of course, though it remains to be seen what will be done to them.

“Our correspondent in the Middle East, Arwa Damon, is currently stationed in Ankara, Turkey, so she can perhaps enlighten us better as to what is really going on in the region. Arwa? What is happening where you are, and what is the mood there?” Ana urged the correspondent to inform us all.

“Ana, I have to tell you, not all of your information is up to date. I don’t know when you’ll get the bulletin, but let me just inform you, what I just witnessed is utter pandemonium, because Turkish state television caught live feeds of the Turkish Army and Air Force being destroyed in detail. Yes, let me repeat that! The Turkish expeditionary forces in Syria have been annihilated, completely, down to the last pilot and infantryman. It was a catastrophic, total loss of the entire Turkish force sent to invade the Levant.

“There are Turks here, everywhere around me, including this chai house to which I’ve retreated, in tears at the sight of their soldiers and airmen, possibly loved ones among them, slaughtered by what appeared to be winged angelic warriors with flaming swords. It has been an unmitigated and total military defeat at the hands of the Archangel Gabriel and his angelic host. One thing is clear, judging from the very dark, scared, sad, and angry mood of the crowd.

“Turkish President Recep Erdogan’s days as iron-fisted dictator of his country are numbered. What a military coup failed to achieve, a military disaster has likely accomplished: the downfall of Recep Erdogan. He’s already getting the blame for this, despite scowling police who’ve tried to quiet murmurs among the crowd. There are a lot of irate Turks here, out for blood. I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised if it’s Erdogan’s, here in Ankara, that they demand as retribution for this massive and historic military defeat, which ranks with Lepanto and Vienna as one of the worst in Turkish history,” Arwa Damon told us all, the first that the world heard of this latest angelic military triumph.

Indeed, not thirty seconds later, Gabriel appeared before me and declared, “Lord, we have utterly destroyed their army and air force! It was glorious, Lord! Not a single cherub or seraph was injured, of course, though a few of their SAM batteries tried in vain to shoot us down. We didn’t spare a single enemy. We showed them no quarter at all! Don’t worry. We didn’t slaughter any prisoners. We didn’t have a chance to take prisoners, nor they to surrender. It was over so fast that I think that it will take time for the whole world to catch up to what we did. It will be an object lesson in what happens when one attacks your domain, Lord. All praise and glory be to You!”

“Well done, Gabriel. Now, proceed to Ankara and destroy the Erdogan regime, minus Erdogan himself. Bring him alive before me. I have a special punishment in mind for him,” I commanded, actually putting a smile on Gabriel’s face, as he spread his wings and flew out of the building.

“Well, that’s certainly a development, and indeed, I can now confirm that very news with a bulletin to that effect. You heard that right. It has been confirmed that Turkish military forces invading Syria have been, in the words of the Commandant of the Levantine Mortal Militia, ‘completely eradicated, as if they never existed at all.’ Indeed, Al Jazeera is now reporting a ‘cataclysmic, unprecedented one hundred percent fatality rate and absolute destruction of all ordnance and supplies.’ So, there it is, people. The Turkish invasion of the Levant has ended in the most lopsided defeat, probably, in recorded human history, even more decisive than the Battle of Agincourt, the Six-Day War, or the Battle of Stalingrad.

“What we have now witnessed is direct, verifiable confirmation that the angelic host which occupies the Levant and defends the rule of the Archangel Gabriel is a very real, practical, and effective fighting force, probably the most powerful and lethal known to history. The Dominion of the Levant has now replaced the State of Israel as the supreme military power in the Middle East. The last time that the Turks were beaten this badly, the Ottoman Empire collapsed. It’s that big of a deal, historically speaking,” Ana continued her commentary, even as Gabriel dropped Erdogan at my feet.

“Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, former President of the Republic of Turkey, I have defeated and overthrown you, as you can see, through my faithful servant, the Archangel Gabriel. For your crimes, which are many, I hereby sentence you to be cast alive into Purgatory, where you shall remain, still alive in your mortal body, roasting and growing back your flesh, until I decide to have mercy and let you perish. Even then, expect to be tormented for a while. Now, greet your destiny, tyrant and oppressor, which is justice!” I condemned a terrified Erdogan, as the chasm opened again and Purgatory was clearly seen by its latest victim.

I watched with considerable aplomb as Gabriel flung Erdogan, sweaty and still breathing, into the flames of Purgatory, allowing him to be burned until I was ready to grant him the sweet mercy of Death. Even that would bring him no relief until I opted to grant him that relief. Others in Purgatory might not burn, as shown with Ann Coulter. For Erdogan, I deliberately gave him a punishment as close as I could stomach to that supposedly assigned to the Beast and False Prophet of Revelation, which was nothing but fantasy now. Quite frankly, Erdogan’s screams were like music to my ears, eager as I was to see him suffer as he deserved.

Finally, however, I closed the opening of Purgatory, turning to Gabriel and commanding him, “Go back to Ankara, with a sizable force of warriors, and proclaim that I now annex Turkey to the Dominion of the Levant and demand the unconditional surrender of its remaining armed forces. Don’t worry. Iran and Saudi Arabia will soon join Turkey as provinces of the Dominion as well. The Dominion will include, by far, the majority of the Middle East now. That’s one way to bring peace to the region, isn’t it, angelic conquest and hegemony. This also gives me a foothold in Europe, in the form of Istanbul and the surrounding province. And it gives me control of the Dardanelles, of course.”

“Indeed, Lord. I shall be happy to do just that. I look forward to overseeing the incorporation of Turkey into the Levant and the imposition of Your Laws upon it. The clergy won’t be thrilled, the local ones, but they never are with the changes, as I’ve personally seen when carrying them out. The people themselves will be much better off. Anyway, as a nation-state, Turkey brought this on herself by attacking the Levant, and thus attacking You. I especially look forward to seeing a lot more women discard their burkas, hijabs, and other such clothing. I won’t persecute Muslims, of course. I’d rather hump them. Freedom of worship, right?” Gabriel chuckled as he flew away again, clearly relishing the prospect of taking some Turks of both sexes as lovers, as he had elsewhere with mortals of all races and sects in the Levant.

I laughed while turning back to the TV and hearing the announcement that it was now confirmed that, “a new regime is now place in Kabul, Afghanistan, under the self-proclaimed Viceroy Archangel Miriam, mother of Ian Finnegan, who is increasingly acclaimed as the new King of Heaven, the new Almighty God. Meanwhile, we have also confirmed reports that the Dominion of Levant, under the Archangel Gabriel, has seized control of Turkey and imposed a new government there immediately after the Battle of Aleppo and the mysterious destruction of the Erdogan administration. Gabriel was reportedly merciful enough to let Erdogan’s wife, the former First Lady of Turkey, Emine Gülbaran, depart the Ak Saray Palace in peace, without harassment or harm done to her person. She was, however, warned not to return to it for any reason, ‘on pain of joining her husband in the flames of Purgatory,’ to quote one source known to have sworn allegiance to the new regime.”

I laughed as I snapped my fingers and Ana appeared, naked, in my presence. She instinctively tried to cover up, the moment that she realized that she was nude, but I would have none of that. I walked over to her, put my arms around her waist, and closed in for a kiss that left no question of my intent. I also made damn sure that she no longer felt any guilt, shame, jealousy, or any other inconvenient emotions, especially once her husband appeared next to us. He was clothed, but Priya made short work of that, tearing off his clothes like wrappings on a Christmas present or something like that. He, too, was stripped of his jealousy, guilt, possessiveness, etc., leaving only lust and compersion as reactions, while Priya jumped his bones and started riding him.

“See now? Your husband is getting with the program. Why don’t you, querida? Bend over that bed and prepare to get fucked as you need. Don’t worry. The news isn’t going anywhere. It will still be there when you return, in fact,” I smiled as I froze Time again, and then slipped my cock deep inside Ana’s fine snatch from behind.

“Dios Mio! Fuck me! Fuck me, please! Harder, Lord! Harder!” Ana managed to say as I plundered her body and used her for our mutual pleasure.

“You love this, don’t you? Being taken in this fashion by God Himself! You will never get jealous or feel guilt over this again! In fact, whenever at parties that include only adults, you’re to wear only a skirt and heels or pumps, your panties, hike up your skirt, and offer both your pussy and ass to all other attendees, whoever they are. You’ll even host such parties for your colleagues in the business, and invite me to every single one. Benjamin, for your part, you’ll walk around in nothing but your boxers during these parties and slip them down to fuck anyone of either gender who approaches you for sex.

“That’s my instruction to you. You’re now to invite others to your marriage bed on a regular basis, too, including myself, Priya, and my entire harem at some point. Why do you think that I made you so damn horny during the broadcast earlier? This is the future. Promiscuity. Monogamy is the past. Don’t worry, Benjamin, you’ll get a chance to knock Priya and several others up, just as I now plan to breed Ana tonight. You’ll treat this as an honor, getting to claim and raise my spawn as your own, of course,” I informed Ana’s husband as I screwed her within an inch of her life with my thick God cock.

I humped Ana for what would have been several hours of adulterous sex, had Time not been frozen, and certainly wore her out, but then she would have exhausted many a mortal man. Ana was able to keep up with me for quite a while, even as her husband nearly died, I could tell, from the way that Priya used him for her own satisfaction. I could sense that he had prided himself on his stamina for being able to satisfy Ana, but Priya really put him through his paces, being an Elf, after all. I also decided to have her ova meet one of his sperm, anyway, causing a pregnancy to add to those already developing. I determined then to accelerate this growth so as to have her give birth to all of her unborn offspring at once.