My wife died. That defines my life now. The kids are grown up and living far away, one on each coast. Both of them want me to sell the house and live near them but how can I decide between the two? I’m biased toward the west coast but I can’t choose one over the other. Despite what they both say, I know they’ll take it as a choice for my favorite. So, I’m staying where I am except I’ve bought a motorhome and a Jeep. I’ll be retiring early, in just a few weeks, thanks to Julia’s life insurance.

I refuse to hang around with my buddies for morning coffee on Saturdays and Sundays talking ad nauseam about what’s in the paper or on the morning news and always slipping into stories of the old days. Anyway, they don’t really know what to say around me. That’s why I go to coffee shops across town where nobody knows me and I can sit undisturbed pretending to read the paper but actually watching life going on around me, wondering if I will have a part to play in it again.

How could Julia have gone before me? Everyone knows women live longer than men, by at least ten years. I wasn’t prepared for this. What was I supposed to do?

That girl just brought me the raisin scone I’d bought and forgot at the counter. She really was a sweet little thing. I’ve been coming to this cafe for about two months now. I like it. It’s full of college kids. Packed, it suddenly empties as classes begin.

I tried not to look at the girl as she walked away but failed. What was her name? Dana, that’s right. She was very friendly to me which I originally thought was due to my large tips but, waiting in line, I noticed that she was less friendly to other people who tipped just as well.

The other girls were friendly but nondescript to me. I liked Dana. She wasn’t as pretty as the others, at least by the standards of her age group. She was short and they were tall and lean but Dana was very pleasant to these older eyes. She may not have had the looks to be the star attraction for fellows her own age but she had a pretty awesome little body in my books.

I liked watching her while she made my special coffee. Dressed in the obligatory black t-shirt with the store logo emblazoned on the front and tight, black stretchy pants, she was hard to ignore. Her arms were slender and she had pert little breasts which I first noticed trying to read the name of the coffee shop on her chest until she looked up unexpectedly. She wasn’t fussed. Another girl probably would have been put off having an old fart looking at her that way but Dana just smiled sweetly and sounded out the name of the shop, crossing her fingers over her chest.

“Oh,” I had said, at a loss for words and blushing for the first time in probably twenty years.

I usually waited until there was nobody in line before ordering. Dana always took longer to brew my coffee and seemed happier brew it when we were alone. She was never in a hurry when it was just me there which gave me lots of time to admire her fine young body with its perky breasts and prominent little ass. Don’t get me wrong, it was a tight little thing but it did stick out. If they were trying to hide those two perfect apples underneath, those stretchy pants were an abject failure.

When she got older, Dana would probably have trouble with her weight but now, she just made me ache for something I would never have again unless I visited a prostitute and that would just not be the same. So, I took my coffee and sipped it while staring out the window, trying to picture what that cute little butt looked like without the pants. If that sweet young thing knew what I was thinking, she’d never serve me again but she didn’t and I tried to hide my thoughts. I often got a boner when driving home, after I left the shop. It was strange that I didn’t get them until later rather than in the shop but I was relieved that I was saved the embarrassment of having it discovered.

Dana usually came out to tidy up the shop and chatted with me as she worked. It was very pleasant and I always chided myself afterwards for ogling her butt when she was facing the other way but the next time I came in, I just couldn’t help myself. She asked me one day if that was my Jeep parked in front.

“Yes. I’ve just got it. It’s terrible on gas and has a horrible ride but it’s really fun to drive. I’m really enjoying it.”

“That’s a really cool ride,” Dana said, leaning on the narrow counter next to my stool, eyeing up my Jeep. “You must have an understanding wife to let you drive that.”

‘At your age,’ she could well have added. I could see she liked the Jeep. Her face looked so fresh under her short, dark hair. For the first time, I noticed she had a tattoo of a small bunny behind her left ear.

“I did,” I said.

“Oh,” she said, “are you divorced?”

“No, my wife passed away a six months ago.”

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry.” Dana looked truly sorry, not just politely uncomfortable. I was distinctly aware of the delicate hand she had placed on my forearm.

“Don’t be. How could you have known?” I paused, then continued to make her feel more comfortable. “Julia would have loved the Jeep. I wished I had bought it when she was still alive,” I said, trying to move the conversation toward a more positive tone.

“Did she like the outdoors?” Dana asked.

“She loved it when we were younger. We used to go hiking a lot and then camping when the kids were small but we stopped when the kids became teenagers and were too cool to go camping with their parents.”

“I wish my parents had taken me camping.”

“They didn’t?” I asked, feeling sorry for her.

“No. There were too many of us and there was never enough money. Are you going to go camping again?”

“Yep. I bought the Jeep to tow behind a motorhome. In a couple of months I’m going to retire early and then I’m off.”

I cringed at the word ‘retire’, it made me sound way older than I wanted to be.

“Where are you going?” Dana asked blithely unaware of the discomfort surrounding the word.

“Oh, I don’t know. To visit my kids, I guess, then anywhere.”

“I wish I could just go like that,” Dana said, wistfully. “You’re a lucky man.”

That was something, this cute little thing thinking I was a lucky guy. I thought about that while I finished my coffee. Well, maybe this young lady was right.

The next Saturday, I parked the Jeep right in front. It was sporting the new winch I’d put on and looked good in its new set of 32” tires, not too big and not too small. Dana stopped beside me when the crowd had left, leaning against the narrow counter again that lined the window.

“Wow,” she said. “It’s got a new winch and runners.”

“Runners?” I asked.

“Yeah. Wheels,” she explained.

“Oh, runners. Yeah. Looks good doesn’t she?”

I was pleased the way Dana was looking over the Jeep. I hadn’t ogled her this morning. It didn’t feel right to ogle a young girl who had talked to me like a friend.

“This weekend it will have a Stowmaster towing rig on front.”

Dana ignored the jeep guy talk.

“Was your wife pretty? I mean, of course, she was pretty. I mean... what did she look like?”

I was startled by the question. Everyone pussy-footed around me, never mentioning Julia, and this girl just blurted this out, wanting to satisfy her innocent curiosity. She started to look uncomfortable, realizing, I guess, that I might not want to talk about my wife.

“She looked a lot like you, when we first met,” I said.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You mean, she had short hair?”

“I mean, she looked almost just like you.”

“Is that why you like to watch me?”

It was my turn to feel uncomfortable.

“I don’t mind,” Dana blurted. “I mean, it’s ok with me. I think it’s kind of nice.”

“Well, I... uh... I’m, glad you don’t mind.” I was more than a little mortified.

“Is it fun to ride in?”

“The jeep? Yeah, it’s really fun.” I blessed her for the change in topic.

“Could I ride in it sometime?”

“Um, sure. Why not?”

“Are you going anywhere today?” she asked.

“Well, I was planning to take a run, yes.”

“Are you taking someone?”

“No.”

“Could I go with you? I’m off in an hour?”

I didn’t know what to say. Could I keep up a conversation with this young girl for the whole afternoon? What if I ran out of things to say? It would be so awkward. What if someone saw us? How would I explain it?

“Well, I uh...”

“You don’t have to,” Dana said, smiling convincingly to let me off the hook.

“Of course you can come,” I said, suddenly realizing how silly my fears were. “You’ve never been in a jeep and that just isn’t right.” I slapped the counter, making my coffee bounce.

Dana laughed. “Awesome,” she said, clearly excited.

“I’ll pick up some supplies so we don’t have to stop,” I said, “and I’ll be back to pick you up in an hour.”

I didn’t park in front when I came back. I still felt a little funny taking this young girl out. No sooner than I parked than Dana exited the shop carrying her bag and two large coffees. She came around to the driver’s door to hand the coffees to me, then ran around to get in the other side.

“This is so awesome, I don’t know how to thank you. Oh, I don’t even know your name,” she giggled.

“Jim,” I said, somehow feeling younger as I backed up and drove away.

“Wow, you have an iPod,” Dana exclaimed.

“Yes, but it’s broken,” I said.

“Broken?” Dana looked sad.

“Yes, it’s full of old music, like me,” I laughed.

Dana laughed too and I felt immediately comfortable. She was easy to be around.

“You’re not old,” she said, making me feel even better. “This is great,” she said a moment later. “I love old music.”

I drove up to the old Chute. It was a bumpy, rocky climb but the view up top was worth it. It was the best scenery I knew of locally and I wanted Dana’s first time to be memorable. After a few miles of bumping along the back roads, I stopped and got out. Dana joined me as I looked back the way we had come, perched on the edge of the mountain road. I handed her the glasses so she could look and breathed in the fresh air, deeply.

Dana whistled. “I’m so glad you let me come, Jim. This is going to be the most awesome birthday ever.”

“Your birthday. It’s your birthday?” I asked, incredulously.

“Yeah, I’m nineteen today.”

“You should be out with your young friends, having a party or something.”

“They all going to the concert. Anyway, I’d rather spend my birthday with you doing something I’ve never done before.”

“You’re sure?” I asked.

“Of course I’m sure, or I wouldn’t have asked you.”

Dana bounced over to me and gave me a big hug. I refrained from asking her to be careful with the glasses.

“You’re just so awesome to let me come.”

Dana walked back to the jeep.

“Would you like to do something really awesome?”

She turned around.

“Can you drive?” I asked.

“Yes,” Dana said.

“A standard?”

“Yes,” she replied, cautiously.

“Then, you’re getting in the wrong door,” I said.

Dana stared at me, as if she didn’t understand what I was saying.

“Go ahead,” I said, opening the passenger door. “Get in and take us up the hill.”

“You mean it?” she asked, so excited she was almost jumping up and down.

“Sure. Everyone should drive a jeep, at least once.”

“Wow,” Dana squealed, running around the back of the jeep. “Wow!”

She drove us up the hill, quite competently, quickly losing her nervousness and gaining confidence as we went. She stopped in front of the first real hurdle but I urged her on and she didn’t hesitate before the next challenge. She was obviously having a ball and I realized that letting her do it was the most fun I’d had in many, many years. This kid thoroughly enjoyed life and it was catching. How could she be alone on her nineteenth birthday. I had a mind to say something to her parents when I took her home.

Her parents. That was a sobering thought. What the hell was I doing way out here with this kid?

Having fun, you old fart. Now shut the fuck up and enjoy yourself.

At the top, we drove along the ridge until we found a good view spot on a little knoll beside the road that afforded a splendid view back into the valley and across to the mountain on the other side. I spread out the heavy blanket I carried as a dampener for the winch line. It was a bit grubby but Dana didn’t mind. We sat and ate lunch and washed it down with a couple of German beers I had picked up. We chatted and laughed but, most of all, we sat silently munching our sandwiches and gazing at the scenery. When we finished, Dana leaned into me and put her arm around my back, burying her head into the side of my chest.

“Thank you, Jim. This has just been the greatest day and it’s only half over.”

She pulled me closer with her surprisingly strong arm. I put my arm around her, expecting her to draw apart after a quick hug but she didn’t so we sat there, gazing down the valley, hugging each other, an old man and a fresh, cute, nineteen year old girl.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dana was too scared to drive back down. Going up was one thing but going down let you see how steep the road really was. It didn’t matter that the jeep’s gears let us ‘walk’ down the mountain. Dana wanted me to drive. When we got back to town, it was dark.

I said, “Well, where’s your parent’s place?”

“My parents? Across town, by the Benson Street bridge.”

I turned and headed that way.

“Where are you going?” Dana asked.

“I’m taking you home,” I said.

“I don’t live with my parents, Jim.”

“You don’t?”

“No. I’m not a kid,” she seemed miffed.

“I didn’t mean... I mean, I just assumed...”

“Some people aren’t grown up when they’re forty. Just because I’m only nineteen doesn’t mean I’m a kid.”

“No, you’re right, I didn’t mean...”

“I’ve been living on my own since I was sixteen,” Dana said.

“Sixteen?”

“Yeah, sixteen. I’ve got my own place, no roommates or anything,” she said proudly.

“Come on up,” she said when we got to her place.

“I’d better not,” I answered. “It’s pretty late.”

“Jim, it’s eight o’clock. Come on, I want to show you my place and I’ll make you an awesome coffee.”

“A coffee?”

“The best you’ve ever had,” Dana promised, eyes glinting.

“Well, I can’t turn that down,” I said.

I didn’t want to ruin the day by not letting Dana show me her apartment. I would take a look, drink my coffee, and get the hell out of there. As we walked up to the third floor of the large house that had been converted into small apartments, I reflected on the day. It had been awesome, in Dana’s words, and the best one I could remember for a long, long time. Walking behind her — and not looking at her ass, by the way — I was glad I had decided to come up. I wanted to see this independent young girl’s home. She was truly different, and impressively so.

“Ta da,” Dana sang out, opening the door and stepping aside as she threw the light switch.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Dana said, waving in the direction of an old, overstuffed chesterfield.

I plopped down and looked around the small apartment. To the left of the door was a kitchenette and beyond that was a living room where I sat on the couch along the wall. There was no wall between the two. The only demarcation from the kitchen area was the end of the rug. To my left was a window looking out on an apartment building and opposite me was a flatscreen TV on a low-lying, very experienced oblong wooden table. A little hallway ran to the right of the door which I presumed led to the bathroom and a bedroom.

The apartment itself was very pedestrian but the decor was, well, cool. It was very artsy without straining to be. There were all sorts of pictures, trinkets and strange artifacts strewn around that just yelled out, ‘I love life.’ She may have a low-end job, but this young girl obviously knew how to stop and smell the roses. The furniture was plain but everything else in her apartment showed thought, nothing looked haphazard.

Dana was busy using a sophisticated-looking machine to make coffee. It looked like the equipment she used at work but older and I suspected she had actually obtained it from a coffee shop that had gone out of business or upgraded to new kit. I turned my back to the end of the couch and put a large pillow behind me. Thus settled in, I turned my attention to the most interesting part of the apartment: Dana.

I was surprised and pleased to see that Dana was facing slightly away from me so that her derriere, so perfectly outlined by the tight black stretchy pants, could take center stage in my covert observation. I was a little embarrassed when she turned and saw me watching her and relieved when she simply smiled and quickly turned back to what she was doing. Dana was petite but, though she didn’t have long legs and hair like her coworkers, she certainly wasn’t chunky. Her legs looked strong but it was surprising to note that they were actually slender rather than thick. Her ass, which had featured so prominently in my mind for the past two months, was similarly deceptively smaller than it appeared. It just seemed larger because the stretchy pants clung to it so tightly and there was no discernible evidence of underwear to mar its division into two half-apple-like orbs possessing perfect curvature. In short, it jutted out, announcing its presence and demanding attention, without requiring size to do so.

Dana was halfway to the couch before I realized that she had finished making the coffee. Despite my years, my faced reddened. She must have noticed what I was looking at. I was surprised she wasn’t making some excuse to get the dirty old man out of her apartment. Instead, she seemed inordinately pleased as she handed me my coffee. Her own coffee she put on the hardwood floor in front of the TV and then stretched out on the oval rug lying atop it between the TV and the couch. Dana reached up to grab the remote from the table and turned the TV on, flipped to a travel show of some kind, and dropped the remote without saying a word. I was left sitting behind her to sip my coffee and watch, whatever.

I watched the TV for a minute or two but when Dana ignored me I let my eyes rove over her slender body. No doubt about it, her bottom was a powerful attractor. I couldn’t imagine that its secrets could be any better revealed if the stretchy pants could somehow be removed. Upon that thought, I immediately started imagining small details to negate that speculation: the crease between buttock and the back of her thigh, for example, and perhaps a small mole or skin discolouration on one cheek or the other. I was in the middle of this reverie when I saw with some discomfort that Dana had twisted her head around to look at me.

“I like it when you look at me, Jim,” she said before turning back to the show which I now noticed featured Michael Palin.

I stared at her short hair and the slender nape of her neck. She likes me to look at her? What was that supposed to mean? I dropped my gaze to the rise of her buttocks just as Dana brought her feet together, the taper of her legs emphasizing her butt even more. I brought the steaming mug shakily to my lips and drained an eighth of an inch from the top. It was hot, just like her.

Dana lowered her head to the rug and lifted her pelvis, bringing her sweet bottom up a few inches. It swayed from side to side twice before settling back onto the rug. This was repeated and I took another swig of the coffee to ‘cool’ my dry throat. I should leave. I didn’t know what was going on here but I knew I wasn’t in control and it made me feel uncomfortable, but I couldn’t move. Dana lifted her head and turned to look at me, her short hair somehow now disheveled.

“You should drink up, Jim, while it’s still hot. It’s more effective when it’s hot.”

More effective? Dana turned away, picked up her own coffee, took a big sip, and put it down. She looked at the TV but within twenty seconds it went into commercials. Dana dropped her face into her arms again on the rug and lifted her ass, higher this time, obviously putting on a show. I forgot about her strange statement.

Was she rewarding me for this afternoon? Did she know I usually sneaked a few peeks in at her ass when she was making my coffee at the shop? She must, or why else would she do this? I felt cheated, in a way, because I hadn’t expected anything other than her youthful companionship for the day. I wasn’t that bad a guy. Get up and leave, I told myself again. I took another long pull from the mug. I should finish her coffee, anyway. There was no point in being rude.

God, look at that gorgeous thing. What a wonderful little ass. She was really getting to me. I had a boner like I hadn’t had for years and years. It felt huge. Fortunately, I hadn’t worn tight jeans for even longer so I was able to push my hardon down one leg of my cargo pants. It made an impression on my right thigh, pressing up against the material, but Dana wasn’t looking at me and probably couldn’t see it from down on the floor anyway. I took another swig. I better drink up and get out of here before I really embarrassed myself and came in my pants. Lord Jesus, that is a lovely little ass!

I tipped my head back and drained the mug, ignoring its heat. I was about to take my leave when the show came back on. Dana dropped her belly to the rug and lifted her head.