June 14, 2023
From: The Board of Trustees of Global World University
To: The Global World University community

As you know, our financial situation has been unsatisfactory for several years now. We are pleased to announce that we have hired as our new president Dr. James Smith. His wife Dr. Marian Smith will also become a research professor in the Psychology Department for no compensation, for as long as Dr. James Smith is President.

September 8, 2023
From: The Research Ethics Board, Global World University
To: Dr. Marian Smith, Psychology Department, Global World University

Your research proposal is somewhat unusual and raises issues we do not usually have to consider, but we are delighted to inform you that we have approved your research proposal and you may proceed with your research study. As you note, the research costs are to be borne by a special grant from the Global World University Development Fund.

September 12, 2023
From: Dr. Marian Smith, Psychology Department
To: Global World University Students

Seeking experimental subjects: In this study we seek to investigate the sexual response of the human male. To participate you must be enrolled as an undergraduate at Global World University and willing to engage in sexual intercourse with an adult female. You must be 18 years of age and pass an STI screening. Each sign-up form is for a particular adult female whose pictures appear with the form.

You will receive $10 for participating. If you complete the task, you will receive an additional $10. The task involves mounting the woman, penetrating her vagina with your penis, and copulating. Completion of the task requires ejaculation inside the vagina and must occur within five minutes of insertion.

December 29, 2023
Help wanted: Additional female research assistants

The position requires making yourself available as a sexual partner for undergraduate males (see attached recruitment notice). During working hours, you should be available for a new subject every fifteen minutes. Your participation can be passive; all that is required is a pleasant demeanor. It is completely legal, and you always have a panic button summoning help to interrupt any abusive behavior within ten seconds. The compensation for full-time work for 40 weeks a year is $700,000.

June 11, 2026

Sexual Response in Undergraduate Males
Dr. Marian Smith, Global World University

Abstract: This is an interim report on an ongoing study of the human male sexual response. Male participants were recruited to have sexual intercourse with female confederates. Over the course of two years, 3,044 distinct men participated at least once. Men could and often did sign up for more than one session. Men participated in a total of 103,993 experimental sessions. Number of sign-ups per female confederate was strongly positively with how attractive she was rated by a panel of independent judges. Initial volunteer interest exceeded available slots. Since studies are more reliable with more subjects, additional female confederates were enlisted to ensure that no subjects who wished to volunteer were turned away. Generous compensation allowed the recruitment of female confederates rated as highly attractive by subjects and an independent panel.

Overall, of copulations attempted, 94% were successful to the point of intra-vaginal ejaculation within five minutes. (The vagina was always sufficiently lubricated before each session began.) The two primary dependent variables were an overall life well-being index (WBI), as measured by responses to a questionnaire of 20 items, and the subjective rating by the male of the extent to which the session itself was experienced as positive or negative, single session satisfaction (SSS). In the pilot studies subjects were paid for their participation, but recruitment was successful without payment so this was dropped. It appears that sexual intercourse is an inherently rewarding activity for male undergraduates, though we cannot rule out an altruistic desire to advance scientific knowledge.

Female confederates were always able to summon help in case of behavior they judged abusive. Only fifteen (15) such incidents occurred, less than 1 in 10,000 sessions, none resulting in serious injury. Under such experimental conditions, male sexual violence is extremely low.