Harmon Miller was not a nice guy. He had to leave Chicago in a hurry because he’d tried to scam the wrong person – the teenage son of a Mafia boss. He got in his rattletrap Ford and hit the road with his worldly possessions in a couple of boxes.

Looking back on it, life in Chicago had been tolerable. He’d made a decent living between his handyman work and his occasional forays into illegality. He tried anything that would make him a quick buck. He’d stolen the occasional expensive possession, scammed a few rich widows, and even driven the getaway car for a burglary of a pretty ritzy jewelry store.

It was time to move on. He wasn’t a big fish but there were too many reasons to get the hell out of the city. Besides a bunch of bad guys looking for him, so were the good guys. He had seen some red-robed druids around town a few times and they made him very nervous.

He’d actually seen a green-robe in action one time, as the guy healed a car accident victim. Harmon was just coming out of a coffee shop when he heard the screech/crash in the street right outside the café. He looked over to see a Druid come from across the street, pull an injured lady out of her car, and set her on the ground next to the curb, not 5 feet from Harmon. The guy was obviously a trained medical person because he checked the unconscious lady’s pulse and pupils. She looked awful – pale and bleeding from both her mouth and ear. Then, shockingly quickly, he pushed her dress up, pulled her panties off so fast that they ripped, and stuck his face in her crotch.

Harmon watched in amazement as the color returned to her skin while the bleeding seemed to slow and then stop. The Druid was lapping her pussy steadily, and Harmon realized the guy had even slipped a finger or two into her. As the lady started to heal, she also started to be aroused. The more she healed, the more aroused she got. Or was it the other way around? Harmon was fascinated to see that the Druid was concertedly working to give her an orgasm and she was rapidly healing at the same time. Whoa!

When she came with a shudder, the Druid stopped. He sat back, pulled her dress down over her sloppy crotch, looked her in the eye, and held out his hand to help her up as he said, “Do you have any residual pain anywhere?”

The lady just smiled and replied, “I feel fine. Thank you so much!”

As the Druid stood up, Harmon and the rest of the onlookers crowded around him to thank him and offer their congratulations. The Druid tried to brush them all off, saying, “I’m late for a meeting,” but he still found many hands reaching out for a handshake or to touch his robe. Harmon was one of the crowd who touched the Druid’s robe. He noticed it was heavy cotton material with a deep, complex hue, but thinner than what his ex-wife might have used to cover an easy chair.

Back in the present day, Harmon was just happy his car was running okay. He made it out of Illinois over to Iowa and was headed to Omaha, figuring he could make a little scratch. He had just passed out of West Bumfuck, some nondescript town, when he pulled into a Cracker Barrel parking lot to lean his seat back and zonk out for a few hours.

His nap was interrupted by a tapping on the window. He groggily looked over to see a policeman shining his light in. Harmon rolled down the window and almost didn’t mumble, “What’s up, officer?”

The cop said, “Sorry pal, but we have an ordinance that there’s no parking between 1:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. except where posted. You’ll have to move on.”

Harmon glanced at the dash clock and saw it was 3:25. He shook his head to get the cobwebs out and adjusted the seatback into driving position. “Okay, I’ll hit the road. Sorry to trouble you. I just needed a nap.”

Not even half an hour later, he was looking for a place to stop and take a leak. He got off the interstate and pulled into a 24-hour truck stop. After emptying his bladder and filling his gas tank, he was about to get into the car when he spotted something weird just off the parking lot. The light barely hit it, but it sure looked like it was a person lying in the brush.

He walked over the mostly deserted parking lot to the edge and saw that it was, indeed, a person. A person who seemed to be dead. A person wearing a green robe who seemed to be dead. What. The. Hell? He was looking at a dead Druid. He looked around the parking lot. There wasn’t a soul within 100 feet of him, and the people in the truck stop didn’t have a window facing this direction. He was well and truly alone with a dead effing Druid.

Everyone knows you don’t mess with Druids. Someone did, and Harmon definitely didn’t want to be around when questions started getting asked. So he wasn’t going to report this or say anything about it to anyone at all. On the other hand, he saw the rare opportunity to make hay while the metaphorical sun was shining. He pulled the robe off the body, confirmed there was nothing in the pockets, and walked briskly back to his car carrying his newest possession.

Harmon spent the next couple of hours driving and contemplating how to use the robe to run a scam. The robe was a license to print money, if only he could figure out how. It was also a license to have massive amounts of sex, and he definitely knew how he’d be working that angle.

Two days later Harmon was in Omaha, in a room at a cheap place that rented by the week. Once he was unpacked, he decided he needed to verify his hunch that Druids didn’t give a flying fuck about Omaha, Nebraska. He wasn’t about to put that robe on if there were a chance he’d be nabbed. He went to a coffee shop, bought a small black coffee, and borrowed the shop’s copy of the local paper as he sat down. He scoured the paper for political and crime news, finding no mention of Druids except in Chicago, New York, and other far-away places. Excellent.

After finishing his coffee, he asked one of the cute servers where he could find an internet café. It was an easy three block walk. He walked in and glanced at the prices on the wall. The prices were very Midwestern – cheap – so he bought a cup of their coffee and paid for a couple of hours of web browsing. Then he dived into health care web pages. He planned to be a “healer” so he better know where the sick people would be. Particularly the sick women. But not TOO sick.

Gradually a plan emerged. He’d work his scam in outlying areas, not the city itself. It was too risky that he’d run into a reporter or someone inherently suspicious if he spent a lot of time in the city limits. No, much better to be seen at a suburban school one day then a homeless shelter on the other side of the city the next. Maybe the robe will disappear for a few days at a time so people don’t expect to see him around. Hmm. Maybe a good theatrical quality stick-on mustache should be part of the Druid schtick.

The money angle would be another issue, but he was starting to have some thoughts about that, too. He could just flat out ask for a helping hand here and there, especially in suburbia. People there have money. Hmm. He’d want a good convincing story to go along with it.

After 4 days he had the ‘stache, the story, and the plan. It was time to put words into action. It was a Wednesday. He wore only the robe, underwear, and sandals. He drove into suburbia to see how things would go, knowing he could always bail out and head west or north if it didn’t work.

First stop, a preschool. He didn’t care about the kids, but the “teachers” there were a different matter. He parked around the corner, just a short walk away. He strolled into the office casually and smiled at the lady behind the desk, who turned out to be Diane, the office manager. She was surprised, to say the least, to see a Druid. She stuttered as she greeted him. “Hhhello. May I help you?”

“Yes, I suspect you can. I had heard that one of your teachers wasn’t well. Could you tell me who that might be?” Harmon had no idea if it were true. It didn’t matter. He was about to find out.

“Oh. I think all of the staff are here today. Let me check.” She picked up a notebook and flipped a page. “Everyone’s signed in. Mary Thompson was out yesterday with a migraine, but she’s back. No, no one is ill.”

Mary Thompson, eh? He stole a glance at the wall where all the teachers’ names and pictures were posted. She looked to be between 30 and 40 and cute enough. “Would it be possible for me to speak with Mary briefly? I won’t take more than two minutes of her time.”

Diane nodded and said she’d be right back. She stuck her head into an office as she went down the hall and said, “Cover the front desk for a minute.” A cute brunette who couldn’t have been 25 came up to sit in Diane’s chair.

Harmon smiled and introduced his alias, “Hello. I’m Hooper. What’s your name?”

“Sally. Are you really a Druid? I’ve never met one before.”

“Well, today’s a special day for you then, isn’t it, Sally? I just need to speak with one of the teachers for a minute and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Druids have specialties, don’t they? What’s yours?”

“I’m a healer. They call me Healer Hooper. Is something ailing you?”

“Not really, though sometimes I have pretty bad cramps when it’s that time of the month.”

“Hmmm. I can see how that would be uncomfortable. Where do you live? I may be in the neighborhood sometime and could stop by to see if there’s anything I can do for you. Just jot it down on a piece of paper and let me know when the best time would be to stop by and meet with you and your husband. That wedding ring is very pretty, by the way.

Sally blushed slightly at the compliment. She took a pen off the desk and wrote her name, address, and phone number on a slip that she handed to Harmon. He gave it back and reminded her to specify a good time to visit. She blushed a little more and wrote ‘Saturdays, Sundays after noon.’

“Aren’t you available any evenings during the week? My weekends are usually packed.”

“My husband works until 10:00 most nights. He doesn’t get home until almost 11:00. I’m out of the house in the morning before he really gets up and gets going.”

The smile on Harmon’s face was genuine. “That certainly explains it. I’ll see what I can do the next time I’m in your neighborhood.

Moments later, Mary Thompson walked in. She had heard Diane say, “There’s a Druid here to see you,” but it was still a surprise to see the green robe. “You wanted to see me?”

“Hi, Mary. Could we step outside for just a moment?”

She followed him out the door, where he stopped just a couple of paces away.

“My name is Healer Hooper. I was told that you had been ill. I was in the area and wanted to check on your migraine.”

“I’m fine today. I could barely move yesterday, though.”

“Do you get migraines often? Are they triggered by something? Maybe a food?”

“I haven’t noticed a pattern, but they do come kind of frequently. I have already had two this month. Luckily one was on a Saturday so I didn’t miss work.”

“I’d like to see if I can help you. Could you give me your address and phone number, and when would be a good time to meet with you and your husband?”

“Oh, sure.” They re-entered the office where Mary picked up a pen and paper and wrote the information. He handed it to Harmon with an uncertain smile.

“Thank you, Mary. I’ll be on my way now. Goodbye.” He strode out of the office and walked around the corner out of sight.

Over the next three days, Harmon made visits to more pre-schools and collected more prospects. He was pleased that the approach was working with very few modifications. He was careful to seem interested in everyone’s ailments, even the references to husbands’ aches and pains. Although he wasn’t by nature a very organized person, Harmon made brief notes on each piece of paper: the date and place he met the women, and whether he had decided to be interested.

A week had passed since coming to town and Harmon was ready to begin the actual fun. After another afternoon of prospecting which netted him 6 more names, he had a light snack and waited until 7:00 before deciding to visit Sally, the very first woman on his list.

He knocked on the door. Sally anwered promptly holding a kitchen towel, and said, “Oh, I didn’t expect to see you during the week. My husband isn’t home.”

“I understand. Normally I’d have waited, but I will be leaving town and I wanted to see if I could help you before I go. Have you got about 30 minutes or an hour?”

“Sure. I just finished dinner and was doing the dishes. They can wait.”

Harmon smiled and stepped into the apartment, beginning his rehearsed speech. “Have you seen healers perform their work? Maybe on TV or the internet?”

Sally blushed and nodded, “Yes. My husband says it’s all a gimmick for guys to get sex.”

Harmon laughed broadly. Inwardly, he was really glad he had done his research because he figured this would be the primary objection of every absent husband. “Well, first of all, many of us are women. Probably the most famous healer in the world is one of the late John Carter’s wives, in fact.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t come at a more convenient time, but this was going to be the only chance to see you before I leave town. Yes, we’re going to have sex. There’s good news and better news. The good news is that you’ll enjoy it. I promise. The better news is that it should clear up any lingering issues you’ve been having with your monthlies.” He smiled, and continued smoothly, “Where will you be most comfortable?”

Sally nodded her acquiescence, reassured by his seeming professional manner, replying, “Let’s go in the guest room. The bed’s a little small but it’s clean.” Harmon gestured for her to lead the way, and she headed down the hall.

When they got into the room, Harmon stepped close behind Sally and put his hands firmly, but gently, on her shoulders. He held her and spoke softly in her ear, “I need you to trust me. It’s really important that you enjoy the experience. Your sexual satisfaction is an important part of why this works. So relax and pretend I’m a fantasy lover or that you’re in a sexy dream.”

As he said that, he moved his hands gently down her arms and slowly began to unbutton her blouse. She didn’t resist. By the time he had removed the top and was stroking her bare skin, she was starting to breathe heavily. He removed her bra – it seemed to be a C cup - and began teasing pink nipples while carefully massaging all over her now-naked upper body.

Harmon’s erection had arrived in full force by then, but he was in no hurry to get naked; it would take all of about 10 seconds to do that. Rather, he continued his gentle assault on Sally’s body. When she reached down to help him unsnap her pants, he whispered, “Let me do it. You’ll like that more.” He had no idea if that were true, but he figured the longer he teased her body, the more ready she would be for the main event.

He lowered her pants and panties to the floor, glad that she had been walking around barefoot. As she stepped out of the clothing, he physically guided her down to the bed. His hands continued their explorations, touching her thighs and calves, and brushing on and then past her substantial dark bush. He could smell her arousal.

After another two or three minutes just touching, stroking, and caressing her legs, he used one hand to urge her legs apart. As they spread, Harmon could see her puffy pussy was nicely damp and ready for action. He wanted her to have an orgasm, but he wanted some snatch even more. He disrobed (literally) and soon was naked on the bed next to Sally. He played with her clit, watching her reaction to see what worked. She was soon starting to moan and then her crotch began to hump his hand slowly, then a bit faster.

That was his cue. He climbed aboard her and filled her with his straining member. Her humping became bucking and she began babbling, “Oh so good ... so full ... gonna cum ... gonna cum ... so full ... gotta cum ... NOW!” Harmon was happy to be along for the ride as Sally’s pussy grabbed his dick and began milking it with her orgasm. Harmon let his dick explode and it spurted over and over while she came. Eventually, her aftershocks were done. Having gotten his rocks off nicely, Harmon had no interest in sticking around.