Chapter 7

John looked into the woman’s eyes. “I am honoured to have your acquaintance, Treya. I am sure my family will be delighted to meet you and your children.”

Lango stared to John and his words.

“You are a man of large and praising words, John, but only when speaking to my woman. Why?”

“I have great respect for women, Lango. Women are the mainstay of our human society; without them we men would be nothing.”

“Eh? Men are in charge of everything; women merely obey.”

“You think so, Lango? Like most men, you are not very observant. With soft words and a servile tone, women rule our society. Look at any successful Chief, and you will find a man who follows his wives’ advice. Think back to when your tribe was well-run. How did the Chief act?”

Lango was appalled at his memory. It told him the old Chief was a man who listened to his wives. The fact horrified him, for he had been brought up in the old tradition of the woman being in a lowly position, to be ignored most of the time. He realised that his children listened to their mother more than to him; he had simply not connected that fact with the question of control. Who actually controlled a tribe or a family?

John could see his words biting home. “Lango, women are important assets of every tribe. We should recognise them and respect their abilities. My Numa gives me wise advice all the time. You should pay more attention to your Treya.”

John noted that Lango was ambivalent, but still defiant.

“So you will tell me that in your tribe women are equal to men, eh?” he challenged John.

John just smiled and said, “Yes, with varying abilities.”

Lango spluttered, “That can’t be true!”

John shrugged. “If you don’t believe me, then come along and see for yourself. You can then tell me whether I speak truth or not; it is up to you.”

Lango glanced over at his wife, catching a small smile on her face as she followed this argument. “What do you think, wife? Should we go along with him?”

Treya smiled. “Darling, we could do with some help at this time, to get us all to a safe place. If the man can offer us a safe place to stay, why refuse?”

Not noticing that she had not answered his direct question, but had suggested what to do, Lango muttered, “I suppose that is so. All right, John, we will come with you to see if the other members of your tribe will agree with your weird opinions!”

“Great. Right, do you want to dress your kill and prepare it for eating, or is this another ability that only women seem to possess?”

Lango reddened and said softly, “Women are better at anything relating to food apart from hunting for it. I will grant you that.”

John made no mention about the gathering of nuts and berries, and water supplies. He thought it would be overkill! He gave Treya a hand with disembowelling the animal and draining what blood was still inside it. She selected what entrails she could use, and went to dump the remaining offal, but John stopped her, picked them up, and took them to the stream, where they would be taken away by the current, leaving nothing to attract scavenging animals to their presence. He explained this as he did so, and Treya nodded her understanding. Lango goggled at John’s peculiar huntsman’s knowledge and some abilities that normally would be the province of a woman; yet John was very manly. Lango did not know what to make of it.

They all ate well of the cooked meat, while John informed them of the direction and approximate distance they had to travel. He offered to carry the smaller boy if the child was agreeable. Treya spoke to the child, telling him the plan, and Lirgo seemed happy to be carried as long as his mother was nearby.

At last John encouraged them to extinguish the fire and get on the way to his tribe.

John lifted up young Lirgo and explained to him, “Young man, if we meet wild beasts or nasty people, I may have to drop you so that I can defend our group. If I have to do that, you run to your mother at once, without making a sound. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, mister. I can run quietly to mummy if you drop me.”

“Thank you, Lirgo. This ability is your first step towards manhood, so it is important for you to learn it.”

Wide-eyed, the boy nodded at the idea of becoming important, and heading towards manhood, and he was amazed at being thanked for his cooperation. He cuddled in to John, placing his arms round John’s neck. He felt comfortable with this big friendly man.

They set off with John leading, followed by Treya encouraging Lingo, and Lango taking the rear. John asked him, “Do what you can, Lango, to hide our pathway, please. Pull branches and bushes over our path where we have brushed past them. Try to make it seem that only one person walked here, rather than four. Lingo, I would be pleased if you can step lightly, as near as possible in my footsteps. Your father and mother will be proud of you if you can help us to disguise our passing, so that bad men cannot easily track us.”

“I can do that,” declared the boy, proudly, glancing up at his mother. She smiled encouragingly and gestured for him to proceed.

John was careful to keep his pace slow, and his steps short, but disguised this by seeming to be checking for wild animals ahead. His keen hearing noted some animals moving aside as they passed by, but he did not want an extra burden for now. He could do some hunting nearer the cave.

Every half hour or so he halted, to let the others recover their wind, and he signed for silence so that he could listen for any signs of being followed. There was nothing, so this pleased him. After a five minute break, he resumed the trek, once again carrying the younger boy.

After another hour, when they stopped for the third time, the older boy plaintively asked, “Can I get a shot of being carried, mister John? Lirgo has been carried all the way so far.”

His father frowned, but John looked down at the youngster and declared, “That is a valid argument, young man. However, if I carry you for a while, your young brother will have to be carried by your mother or father, who both have things to do. Will you return to walking after you have been carried for a while? Does that seem fair to you?”

The boy thought about this, and came out with, “You speak truth, mister John. Carry me for a while, and when I am feeling fitter, I will go back to walking. Is that fair?”

“It is, Lingo. You are a worthy son of your parents. Would you like to sit astride my shoulders, and watch out for branches in the way? As I said to your brother, if we meet a dangerous animal, I will drop you and you must go to support your mother while I defend us.”

“I know, mister John. It is a wise thing to do.”

John handed over his charge to his mother, who looked at her husband for guidance. Lango knew he needed both hands free to restore the foliage behind them, so gestured for her to go ahead. She lifted her younger son, while John crouched down and raised Lingo over his head and onto his shoulders. Once the lad was settled, John slowly stood up straight, and advised the lad to hold his carrier’s head lightly.

“If you hold my head too tightly, Lingo, I will not be able to swivel it to check both sides as we push on. Use my head to keep your balance only; that is best. Grab tighter if you think you are falling.”

“Yes, mister. I will do that.”

The boy was delighted to be discussing things rationally, with explanations of why it should be done this way. This made him feel important; part of the team effort.

He found himself having to ward off branches from time to time, though John tried to lower himself to pass under such branches.

John was continually checking for his way markers without appearing to do so, Mostly it was his eyes that swung to and fro, looking for the signs, and he walked with some confidence, much to the surprise of the other adults.

At the slower pace, it took much longer to get back to the area of the cave, and he was surprised to find his way blocked by Gomla with a spear before she could see who it was. She challenged the group with a call.

“Halt! Who are you? This is John’s territory.”

Pleasantly put out at this confrontation, but glad to have the cave well guarded, he called ahead, “It is John, Gomla, with some friends. Please escort us home.”

John was followed through the trees by the family, who all stared at this female warrior holding a spear threateningly. Lango in particular was astonished.

“John, that warrior is a woman!”

John responded, “Yes. I did notice that. What of it?”

“But...” Lango did not know what to say, so shut up instead. After they passed, Gomla took up position behind them, clearly checking for any followers. She called out a signal like a yodel, and got a similar call back. A minute or two later, as they came to the forest edge, another girl was there with a spear also held ready to use.

She acknowledged, “Ah, it is you, John. Who are these others? Are they dangerous? She particularly looked at the wide-eyed boy on John’s shoulders, and winked at him. The boy grinned, and growled, “I am dangerous to bad people, so there!”

“Great!”, she grinned back. “Who is with you, young warrior?”

“I am here with my father and my mother, and my little brother. He is too young to be a warrior, but he will learn.”

“Excellent. John, what are the names of our visitors?”

“Numa, allow me to introduce Lingo the brave young warrior who sits on my shoulders, his mother Treya and his father Lango. The younger brother held by his mother is Lirgo. He is a wise and courageous young man, but with much to learn yet.”

Lango was confused at all this praise heaped on his young sons, and nothing about him. He could not think what he should say about it, so waited until later.

Numa spoke with Treya, “Treya, I am Numa, Chief wife of John. Welcome to our tribe. Your family is also welcome. Have you come far? Do you need water and food?”

With a startled glance back towards her husband, Treya answered, “Food and drink would be very welcome, Numa, especially for my boys. They are tired after our long journey, but they behaved well.”

“Well, if they have behaved well, they deserve some recompense. We must take them to our campfire and make them comfortable. We have furs for everyone to be warm with. My husband keeps me warm!”

Her beaming smile said everything that Treya needed to know.

“Thank you for your hospitality, Numa. Is it true that in your tribe, men and women are treated equally?”

“It is true. Women are recognised as responsible people, but that also means we have to share the burdens of defending the tribe. Thus you have been greeted with spears in case you were not friendly. We have signals between us to pass on information about the arrival of strangers.”

“I heard that. Will this mean I have to learn to fight?”

“Only if you and your man decide to join our tribe. No-one forces you to do anything, but everyone who joins us is expected to take a full part in the life of the tribe, or you may be asked to leave. Family life is unchanged. Your man is your man, and our man is our man, understood? Join us or leave: it is your own choice. John is a wise leader.”

“John? This John, the man who helped us get here?”

“Yes. He is our Chief; did he not tell you?”

“No, he only talked as if he was a member of a tribe.”

“He IS a member of our tribe, that is true, but he is also our Chief. John is a clever man and a wise leader, Treya. He gives out information only as it is needed. You did not need to know you were dealing with a Chief, for you might have acted more deferentially, and so be less effective in your actions.”

“He was very good with the boys; treated them as young men older than their years. I was impressed.”

“So are we all, Treya. You will see as we talk more.”

John now spoke to Numa.

“My love, I have failed to hunt while I was out. I found a number of suitable branches, but could not bring them as I had new responsibilities. Please forgive me.”

As Lango goggled at this deference to a woman, Numa answered, “Such things happen, and should be allowed to pass into the past. As it happens, we were out practising our spear work at the forest edge and an animal blundered into us. We quickly speared it, and it is being butchered now, so we have some food.”

“Excellent. Good work. Please pass on my thanks to the other girls. Did Sheila take part?”

“Yes. She was brave, and was the first one to thrust her spear into the animal. She called it a hog, whatever that is.”

“I know what she meant. If it is like I know from that name, such animals can be dangerous, but it makes good eating, although it has to be well cooked before eating.”

“She told the girls that, so they are roasting it now.”

“Fine. We all ate earlier in the day, from a kill made by Lango. He is still learning to hunt, but did quite well for an untrained man on his own.”

Lango overheard this comment, and was pleased to hear it.

They all trooped up to the cave, where John was welcomed by all the women, much to the surprise of the visitors. John was pleased to note that the willow withies that he had gathered were now woven together quite expertly into a couple of panels. This reminded him that he would have to collect many more withies for the cave’s protective wall and door; plus he still had to collect these branches he had set aside in the forest. He would collect these branches one at a time whenever he had the chance.

Numa took charge of the newcomers and gave them the grand tour of the cave and its occupants, briefing them on how important their Chief John was to the tribe.

As soon as the children were fed and watered, their tiredness was noted and they were found sleeping places in a sheltered part of the cave, with their parents allocated sleeping furs near the boys. Once Treya had seen the boys off to sleep, she joined her husband near the campfire to listen to the discussions and observe various tasks that the females were attending to.

Lango took the opportunity to go to John and ask for a quiet place to talk. John drew him to an area he used as his own ‘thinking place’.

“Now what was it you wanted to talk over?” John enquired gently.

“When we were first introduced, you gave more status to my wife than to me, in the way you spoke to us. Why?”

“Very simple, Lango. Your sons are of an age that the most important person in their lives is their mother, so she had to be spoken to with respect, as an important person to them. That importance had to be recognised by me, as a stranger. That way, the boys were more likely to accept me as a friend of the family. Your position was already enshrined in tradition, so there was no offence in relegating you to the background. A man should show his own merits; prove to his family that his senior position is deserved. You had already done that by hunting successfully, despite not being a hunter. Your actions spoke for you.

Your position to a stranger was of no importance except between you and me. I could see you were a man who loved his wife and children. From what Treya said, you were doing your best for them, so that was fine by me.

You may have noticed that I am not one for demanding status. I believe you to be of a similar bent, despite tradition. What is practical is more important than how one is viewed. Any status I have among my tribe is what has been given to me; not what has been demanded.

Numa is the one who is status-conscious on my behalf. As my Senior Wife, she is always trying to elevate me, so that her status is accordingly also elevated. I simply go along with her; it is the simplest thing for a sensible man to do.

I also defer to her on matters where her knowledge is greater than mine, for a teacher does not need to be of higher status than yourself. Learning from others is a useful way of self-improvement, and I have benefitted much by listening to what Numa tells me.

I also find that showing that I can listen to others, makes them more willing to listen to me. I do not have to insist on what I want. Like with your boys, explaining why a thing is probably the right action gets better results than telling them them that is the way things are done, or that is the way I want it done. We do things which can be shown to be the right way.

By the way, you may have noticed that a number of ladies are very friendly towards me. The local tribal traditions made me responsible for those I rescued and who had no male relative to defer to. The girls themselves informed me that they now belonged to me. That is how I collected my first two wives and my concubines. I seem to have gathered another wife, with a new girl also claiming that she will become a wife to me. I have been a bit bemused by such declarations, but I am not one to refuse such wonderful gifts.”

“Your words have made me understand how unusual and so much better your ways are, John, and what life is like in your tribe,” said Lango. “What made you adopt a policy of men and women being equal?”

“That is not quite accurate, Lango. The policy is that men and women should be TREATED equally, not that all are equal. Everyone has different talents, so they are not equal in all things, but if they are treated as equals, harmony is easier to achieve. This question of status traditionally seems to be based on a power hierarchy, whereas status should be earned by one’s actions; one’s behaviour. If a man beats his wife, his status should be lower within the tribe as a result, for wife-beating is not a good sign in a man: it shows him as incapable of getting his way without violence. He condemns himself.

In the same way, a woman who is always complaining about little things will find herself losing friends, and thus status in the tribe. Troublemakers are not good for a tribe, so they should lose status. I have not demanded status as Chief; I have been given high status by other people, by their own choice, partly through the traditional position of a Chief, but mainly after observing how I behave.

The general principle I work to, is to do to others as you would expect them to do to you. Treat them well and they will most likely treat you well in response. Don’t you think this is a good tradition to build in a tribe?”

Lango was by now staggered by this tribe’s method of operation. It was completely different to what he had been brought up with, yet it made a great deal of sense. He voiced his acceptance.

“I am willing to give it a try, but do I have to defer to my wife?”

“Not as such, Lango; merely listen to what she says. Invite her opinion and see what she advises. If it is sensible, take it on. If it is not, explain why you think it is wrong, and what might improve on that opinion. One or other of you may be wrong, or you might be misunderstanding what is meant. It is very easy to think a person said something, when the actual words were different: it may be that you misheard the words. Discussion often reveals a solution to a problem.”

“I get you. So I should stop telling her what to do?”

“Again, wise words can help. If you want your food prepared, say ‘Is the meal likely to be ready soon, dear, or will it be later?’ instead of demanding your meal as soon as possible. This gives her power over her own area of expertise. If you handed over fresh meat ten minutes ago, it is not going to be cooked in ten minutes, no matter how hard she tries or how loud you shout. A gentle request will probably get you a good feed in a reasonable time, far more often than an order will!”

Lango became thoughtful. “This is a new world that you are talking about, John – or should I say, Chief John? It could be a shock to all the old tribal ways.”

“I hope it will be, Lango. Ideas with soft words can be more threatening than sharp weapons.”

“It is as you say. Things will never be the same for me, but I can live with this, inside your tribe. In another tribe, I could be killed for saying such things.”