Chapter 89: A Fantastic Vacation

July 12, 1997, Iron Mountain, Michigan

“Just bring everything into the house and put it in the main room,” I said to the other men. “Kara wants to check out all the rooms before we move stuff into them.”

Kurt, Tom, Eduardo, and I began unpacking the minivans and cars, while the women got the kids out of their car seats and had them use the bathrooms, then took them to the large backyard to play.

“Everything OK?” I asked Kara when she returned.

“Yes. We have the large room at the end, Kurt and Kathy are next to us, then Elyse and Eduardo. Tom and Bethany are across from them. And Maria Cristina and Doctor Mary are in the smaller rooms on this floor. Would you big, strong men take the inflatable mattresses, sleeping bags, pillows, and blankets to the basement and set things up for the kids?”

“Yes, Mistress,” I teased.

“If I could only remember which bag has the floggers...”

We all laughed and then carried the things to the basement. I plugged in the pump and we inflated a dozen air mattresses, then put a sleeping bag, blanket, and pillow on each one. We headed upstairs and carried the adults’ things to the correct rooms. I’d just come back downstairs when Mary Whittaker arrived. I showed her to her room, and then we joined everyone else outside.

“The only fixed plans for the next week are a barbecue at the Billings’ farm tomorrow,” I announced. “They offered us use of horses anytime during the week, and of course, the girls may visit the bunnies whenever they want.”

“Bunnies!” Stephie squealed.

“Yes, Little Bunny Rabbit, bunnies. Anyway, dinner tonight is homemade pizza, prepared by Jesse, Birgit, Maria Cristina and me, so all of you relax after the long drive. I’m going to go pick up our order at the store.”

“Want some company?” Maria Cristina asked.

“Sure.”

I kissed my wives and then Maria Cristina and I walked to my BMW and headed for the small grocery store we’d found the first year we’d traveled to Iron Mountain.

“Do you ride horses?” I asked.

“No, I never learned. You?”

“When I was six, in California. Much later, Jennifer and I went to Summer camp as teenagers, and earned our horsemanship awards.”

“You were dating then?”

“Jennifer and I had a terribly stormy relationship because she was struggling with her sexuality. We fought hard and loved hard, and eventually, she found herself, but, from those hard fights and that hard loving, we made Jesse.”

“You and Jennifer still love each other a lot, don’t you?”

“Yes, we do. And we found a way to be together, even though we couldn’t be a couple.”

“You have so many women who love you, including me. I’m just hoping to find one guy who loves me that way.”

“You will. But never forget I love you.”

Maria Cristina smiled, “I know. And I love you, but our path is far different from the one you’re walking with Jennifer. And the path you’re walking with me is a difficult one, one that I need help walking. But you knew that because you’ve walked a similar path with Doctor Jessica. Do you know the most important thing you’ve done for me?”

“What’s that?”

“You’ve given me something I never had, and that’s a real family, with brothers and sisters. The only weird part is, you’re like a dad, but you’re also my lover.”

Maria Cristina’s comment was reminiscent of Samantha’s, and I wondered if there might be a change in our relationship brewing. It wouldn’t surprise me, and I had half-expected it. One thing was certain, and that was that she would eventually find a man to love who could give her children, and at that point, if not before, my role would be one of mentor, not lover.

“Is that a problem?”

“No! It was more the role you’re playing. It’s not boyfriend or husband, because it really can’t be. And it’s not brother. Maybe uncle? But it feels more like what I would want my relationship with my dad to be, if I could pick. Well, minus the sex, obviously.”

“Do you want a boyfriend? Or husband?”

“At this point, either of those would be way too high maintenance! You are about as low maintenance as they come!”

“I know several women who would disagree with you!”

Maria Cristina smirked, “Kara; Jessica; Jennifer; Bethany; Elyse; Kathy. I could go on!”

“I know you could! But I understand what you’re saying. Is there anything I could change or improve?”

“Given the circumstances? I don’t really think so.”

“And if you could wave a magic wand?” I asked. “Don’t worry about upsetting or offending me.”

“I’m not sure it’s possible to upset or offend you, except by being dishonest.”

“I don’t deal well with stupidity or fools, but you have nothing to worry about in that regard!”

“I don’t think it’s a reasonable question, and I don’t think there’s a reasonable answer.”

“Why is that?”

“‘What if?’!” she declared.

I chuckled, “So now, the student has become the master?”

“No. Well, not yet, anyway. But anything that took Birgit and her sisters, or Kara or Jessica, or even the boys, out of my life would make it worse, no matter what I gained.”

“Even the boys?” I asked. “You’ve been spending too much time with the self-proclaimed Empress of the Universe!”

“I didn’t mean it quite that way! And you know Birgit, Stephie, and Ashley love their brothers to pieces. They just find them very annoying.”

“Because the four boys go out of their way to annoy their sisters! Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course!”

I pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store, stopped, turn off the ignition, but didn’t get out of the car.

“Did making love in the sauna in front of Kara and Jessica bother you?”

“It was really strange at first, but then I just focused on you, and what we were doing, and everything was OK. It’s kind of weird when you think about it, but I guess people make a lot of money doing it on videotape.”

“Well, the producers make a lot of money. From what I read, most people in pornographic movies don’t make much money at all, and though I don’t know for sure, I hear it’s very grueling work. I’ve only seen a couple of them, and they were actually pretty boring. But they were also what I guess you would call ‘mainstream’, if you can even use that word for pornography.”

“Kara told me about the movie you guys made. And I know about the one Abbie wants to make for which she wrote the screenplay. How did it feel watching yourself? And would you make the one Abbie wrote?”

“It was strange,” I said. “Not bad, just a bit weird. As for making Abbie’s movie, the fantasy is nice, but there is no way we could release it. And I highly doubt we’d get a dozen real virgins to allow their first time to be filmed! Not to mention how that entire thing might make Samantha feel after what her dad did.”

“I hadn’t thought about that. The women who act in those movies? Do they do it because they want to or because they have to?”

“I’m sure it’s a mix of both. It’s like prostitution, I guess. There are some women who do it because they want to, others are forced into it. And you have to carefully think about how free they really are. Some people would argue that it’s not voluntary if it’s out of dire economic necessity. And you and I have had this discussion, though not in exactly the same context.”

“Because someone could easily say you are paying me to have sex with you.”

“They could. Do you think that way?”

“As you said, we had this discussion. I don’t think it’s like that at all. I’m part of your family and your life, and as you say, I have a lock on my door. But I’m a wise young woman, and I only use it when you’re IN the room!”

I chuckled, “Cute. How is your mom handling this?”

“It took some time, but she’s decided I’m an adult and can make my own decisions, and she very much wants me to be a doctor. But she’s also very Catholic, and felt I should be a virgin on my wedding night. I never had a strong feeling one way or the other, I just knew I wasn’t going to let some boy do it with me because he bought me a McDonald’s hamburger and took me to a movie!”

“Wise. Shall we get our shopping done?”

“Yes!”

We got out of the car and headed into the store.

July 13, 1997, Iron Mountain, Michigan

“Bunnies!” Stephie squealed as soon as she got out of the minivan at the Billings’ farm.

She and her sisters made a beeline for the small petting zoo while I shook hands with Bill Jr., and his wife Ellen gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“I see you’re working on a second baby!” I grinned.

“A little sister for Mark,” Ellen said. “We peeked. Her name will be Marcy.”

“Congratulations!”

“Go around back,” Bill said. “My dad is working the grill, and mom is inside finishing up the pies. There is beer and pop in the coolers. Mom made a pitcher of lemonade for you, Steve, with just a pinch of sugar. I guess she talked to Doctor Jessica about that.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” I replied. “Let me introduce you two to the rest of the gang.”

I did, then went around the house to the backyard and greeted Bill Sr., and introduced him to the flock as they came into the yard. My wives went into the house to see Marjorie Billings, and I followed them to get some lemonade.

“Hi, Boss!” Jodie said.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” I asked with a grin.

“It’s Saturday!” she replied. “And your wonderful benefits system let me count all my hours as an intern towards earning vacation when I accepted the full-time position! So I have a few days off. Terry was cool with it because we’re in our usual Summer development lull where we mostly do maintenance work on the medical software.”

“You come several hundred miles, to this beautiful area, and you talk about work?” Marjorie asked.

“Believe it or not, Mom, we don’t talk much about work back in Chicago. And now that I’m done with school, I don’t see Steve on Saturdays on a regular basis.”

“But he is keeping an eye out for you, right?”

“Yes, Mom,” Jodie replied, straining mightily not to roll her eyes or sound exasperated.

“She only lives about six blocks from us,” I said, trying to reassure Marjorie. “And my office is less than a hundred feet from her desk. She knows she can call any time.”

“I guess I’m just an old worry-wart,” Marjorie replied, and I saw Jodie quickly nodding her head, just out of sight.

“Moms are like that,” I said. “My boys all complain about their moms in that way.”

“Somebody has to stop the ‘Hold my beer and watch this’ stupidity!” Ellen declared as she came into the kitchen.

“Birgit has a simple summary for just less than half the human race,” I grinned. “‘Dumb boys’.”

“I think that sums it up quite nicely!” Ellen replied.

“She figured that out when she was a toddler,” Kara said. “Some of us took longer to figure it out!”

“You didn’t have a brother,” I replied. “My sister knew that when she was pretty young.”

“TELL me about it!” Jodie added.

“Is there anything we can do, Mrs. Billings?” Jessica asked.

“Call me Marjorie! Yes, Ellen can show you what needs to be done.”

I got my lemonade and went to help the other parents ride herd on the boys who were running around the huge yard like maniacs with Bill Jr., alternating chasing them or being chased. When I saw they were in good hands, I walked around to the front of the house where my daughters were with the bunnies, piglets, and baby goats in the small petting zoo.

“Hi, Doc,” I said to Mary who was watching them. “I’m glad you decided to join us.”

“Thanks. I have to be back on Thursday, but five days with your family and friends was worth it!”

“How goes things on the dating front?”

“Hoping you could get some nookie?” she teased.

“You know me better than that.”

“I do. I started dating a suitably boring accountant from a local manufacturing company about three weeks ago.”

“Suitably boring?”

“His idea of a wild night is cuddling on the couch watching old movies. Personally, if I stared at numbers all day, I think I’d take up skydiving or rock climbing or something! But he’s happy to just hang out and let me relax. I can’t imagine how Jessica handles the stress of the ER!”

“Yes you can!” I teased.

“I suppose that could work! It is a great stress-reliever. But I’ll have to wait a bit for that kind of stress relief. I like him, but it’s too soon. Are you bringing your budding doctor with you again?”

“If that’s OK. She was totally psyched about being part of the tests last year.”

“I know about you two, by the way.”

“I figured. Who ratted me out?”

Mary laughed, “I’ll give you three guesses, and the first two don’t count!”

“Birgit. Birgit. Birgit.”

“Of course. And she didn’t ‘rat you out’! I had a suspicion, and your daughter confirmed it with an offhand comment about you sleeping in Maria Cristina’s room on Sundays. And I know your sexual history, so it’s not like I’m surprised. And I knew your sexual history BEFORE we slept together, so it’s not like I can say anything! And I have zero regrets. I mean that, too.”

“If you’re happy, I’m happy!”

“When do you leave for Russia?”

“A couple of days after we get back to Chicago. I’m actually taking Albert to London so he can spend a month with Sweeney and his family, then meeting the hockey team in Moscow. And once that trip is out of the way, and you run your battery of tests, I plan to be a boring homebody like your accountant friend!”

“His name is Dan. And you will NEVER be a boring homebody!”

“I’ve missed way too much karate, and way too much time with the family.”

“Interesting order.”

“Don’t read too much into that. You know my family is important, but I have serious obligations at the dojo and I’ve neglected them. I’m actually missing two self-defense classes because of this trip, and one of the other black belts is filling in. There was just no way to schedule things around all my travels.”

“I’d apologize for making you come up to Mayo for four days of testing, but given what happened, and given the severe restrictions we put on your diet, I think it’s necessary.”

“What’s bugging you, Doc?” I asked.

“That obvious?”

“To me, yes.”

“Even with your odd metabolism, small amounts of carbohydrates should not cause the kind of severe mood swings they seem to cause. And it’s getting worse, not better. And that makes me think we’re missing something, but for the life of me, and the other doctors with whom I’ve consulted, we can’t figure out what it might be. And you’ve taken one line of investigation off the table.”

“Which one?”

“Psychoactive drugs. Return your diet to something closer to normal, and treat your bipolar disorder with traditional drug therapy.”

“You know my answer to that.”

“It might be the only way, eventually.”

“Find another way, Doc.”

“There might not BE another way.”

“You’re a research endocrinologist. I’m your guinea pig. You know I’ll put up with just about anything to avoid the drugs.”

“The problem is, you have some kind of inborn sugar metabolism defect, AND you’ve been unofficially diagnosed with mild bipolar disorder, which they are calling ‘mood swings’ to prevent the insurance company insanity which comes with that kind of diagnosis on your medical records.”

“You made a funny, Doc. Insanity. Bipolar disorder.”

“Well, you certainly would meet most clinical definitions of insane,” she teased. “But you’re functioning, so...”

“Yeah,” I grinned.

“Anyway, the two problems create what appears to be an increasingly impossible balancing act. Vitamin D is, at best, a defensive measure at this point. It helps, but I’m not sure it helps enough.”

“But I haven’t been depressed,” I replied.

“Nor manic. Remember, it’s swings. Right now, the combination of diet, exercise, sleep, and supplements has your bipolar disorder in a VERY narrow range, such that it appears to others that you have a normal set of emotional swings. But you don’t - it’s artificially induced, and even tiny variations in your daily regimen can upset that balance. That’s where the drugs are effective.”

“No drugs.”

“I know. The goal of your four days is to figure out what we’re missing. Maybe it IS all related to your hypothalamus and we just don’t understand it as well as we think we do, which isn’t all that well, in truth.”

“A doctor admitting she doesn’t know everything?” I asked teasingly. “Wow!”

“If I was that kind of doctor, I’d be a trauma surgeon!” she said.

“I HEARD that!” Jessica growled, coming up behind me.

“You saw her coming, didn’t you?” I asked Mary.

“Yes, of course!”

“Do you deny that, Babe?” I asked with a smirk.

“Watch it, Tiger! You sleep VERY soundly!”

“I’m not the one who said it!” I protested.

“Dinner’s ready. I came to gather the girls.”

It took a bit of coaxing to get Stephie away from the six baby bunnies who were frolicking over and around her, but I eventually scooped her up in my arms.

“Can we get a bunny?” she asked.

“Where would this bunny live? We don’t have a barn.”

“In my room!”

“Did you ask your sisters about that?”

“Yes! They think we should get a bunny!”

“Let me talk with your moms, OK?”

“Yes!” she exclaimed happily. “We’re getting a bunny!”

“Good job, Tiger,” Jessica said sotto voce.

I simply chuckled at how my daughter interpreted what I said, but I also knew that her expectations had been set, so there was a very good chance that it was going to happen. I would have to talk to Kara and Jessica about it, but that could wait until after my trip to Russia. What I was immediately interested in was food.

I ate more than my fair share of meat, because I couldn’t put the barbecued beef on a bun, nor eat any potato chips. In the end I had the equivalent of two sandwiches, plus two burgers, plus a small sirloin. A small helping of coleslaw was the only other thing I ate, though I did, with a blessing from Mary and Jessica, have strawberries in cream for dessert.

“Would you like to take a ride?” Jodie asked.

“I would,” I replied, then turned to Jessica, “Ride with us?”

“Later in the week, if that’s OK. After riding in the car all day, I don’t feel like sitting on a horse for a few hours. You should go.”