Chapter 77: I Know

April 25, 1997, Chicago, Illinois

“Thanks for having dinner with us tonight,” Krissy said. “And I apologize for what happened in Dallas.”

“You already did that the next morning at breakfast. We’re fine.”

“Thanks. I was afraid I’d caused a problem for Deb.”

“That could never happen,” I replied. “I know how to differentiate between personal issues and business.”

“Hang on!” Krissy protested. “Deb says you think business is personal!”

“Yes, between Deb and me. There is nothing YOU could do which would affect how I treat Deborah. I am absolutely sure there are spouses or significant others of people who work for NIKA who don’t like me. That’s their right. I don’t let it bother me.”

“You don’t care?”

“I do, but I don’t let it bother me.”

“But how?”

I smiled, “As I told my now former nemesis, hating someone requires an emotional commitment and I don’t have the emotional capital to waste on hating someone.”

“There is nobody you hate?”

“First of all, life is too short for that, and second, everyone deserves a second chance. I would be hard-pressed to come up with someone who couldn’t be redeemed with proper «metanoia» and contrition.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s the Orthodox Christian word for repentance, but it conveys the meaning of a true change of heart and a turning away from sin, or whatever you want to call it.”

“Could someone do something so terrible that you could never forgive?”

“Harm my family or friends,” I replied. “But that’s because they wouldn’t live long enough to have a chance to repent.”

“But you’re a pacifist!”

“And one who believes in self-defense, and in defending the innocent and the weak. Those two things are not in contradiction. I won’t initiate violence, but I will respond to it. And as my late friend Nick said, if someone attacks you, you respond with overwhelming force to ensure they never do it again, and to send a warning to anyone else who might think about attacking you.”

“What about him?” Deborah asked.

“His murderer is serving a life sentence. Bethany forbade any attempt at retribution, and rejected the death penalty. Of course, the Navy hasn’t executed anyone since before the Civil War, so it wasn’t really an option. That said, had it been an option, my Navy friends and I agreed that it couldn’t be a faceless executioner pushing the plungers on a drug cocktail or a firing squad. If he was to die, it was with one of our sets of hands around his throat, with us staring him directly in the eyes.”

“Aren’t you contradicting yourself?”

“He initiated the violence, we’d end it. Overwhelming force to ensure he could never attack anyone again. And to send a message not to harm our friends. My pacifism is about not initiating violence. But attack me, my family, or my friends, and I’ll put you in the ground.”

“That’s frightening,” Krissy said.

“It’s meant to be. But nobody should be frightened unless they intend to do me harm. You don’t, and you’re becoming a friend, which puts you under my protection.”

“Like a Knight?”

“I suppose that’s as good an analogy as any. Minus the religious obligations, anyway.”

“You’re speaking of chivalry?”

I nodded, “Or what passes for it in modern society. I believe the most important part of the code, which really was never codified in a consistent way, is keeping one’s word and never telling a lie. That’s something my first mentor instilled in me - you are only as good as your word. Next comes loyalty - to family, friends, and in my case, employees. Then comes protecting the weak and defenseless. Then comes charity or generosity. And then honor.”

“You place honor last?”

“Because it’s the sum-total of the other aspects. It’s impossible to be honorable if you don’t keep your word, if you lie, if you’re disloyal, if you don’t protect those who need protection, or you’re uncharitable.”

“Sir Stephen?” Deborah asked with a twinkle in her eye. “And here I thought it was ‘Don Stephen’!”

“You haven’t heard my comment about the Mafia, have you?”

“No,” she answered, clearly curious.

“The Mafia provides goods and services which the public wants and which the government denies to them. It’s also the case that the Mafia is more honorable than the government AND more accountable!”

“What?!” she exclaimed in surprise.

“To be successful in their endeavors, the Mafia has to keep their word; politicians do not. The Mafia has to turn a profit; the government does not. Incumbents are usually a lock for re-election, even if they never once carry through on their promises and bankrupt us with unending debt. The Mafia, on the other hand, would have nothing if they didn’t keep their commitments! And before you mention protection, I’ll point out that your job is to protect me from other members of your profession! You’ve just managed to get the State to sanction YOUR protection money!”

“He’s harsh!” Krissy said, shaking her head.

“It’s not inaccurate, is it?” I asked.

“Let’s say it’s a perverse perspective, even if it fits the facts.”

“Ask him about taxes,” Deborah prompted with an evil grin.

“OK,” Krissy said. “What about taxes?”

“Taxation is theft, plain and simple. There is no escaping the logic.”

“How do you figure?”

“Is it morally or ethically OK for you to come into my house, take what you want at the point of a gun and leave? Or to go to the bank with guns and demand money from my bank account? Or from my employer?”

“No, of course not!”

“Is it morally or ethically OK to get a group of your friends and do any of those things?”

“Obviously not.”

“But it’s OK to vote for someone to do it on your behalf?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” Krissy asked, seemingly perplexed.

I smiled, “Voting allows 50%+1 to decide to steal anything and everything from anyone they wish, with no limits, and no legal recourse. And to impose the death penalty for those who resist?”

“You don’t get the death penalty for not paying taxes!” she protested.

“Really? If I don’t pay my property taxes, eventually the State will seize my property and force me to leave. If I refuse, and try to defend my property, they will send men with guns to force me to leave. If I resist, they’ll kill me. The logic is ironclad.”

“That’s crazy!”

“Refute it then,” I grinned. “And I will note that I do pay my taxes. In fact, I probably pay more than necessary because I never take any risks for exactly the reason I just said - the government can take everything, including your life, if you don’t agree with what they want to take and you resist. In my humble opinion, an immoral or unethical thing does not become moral or ethical just because enough people vote for it!”

“So how would you fund the government?”

“Through taxes,” I grinned.

“Now you’re just messing with me!” Krissy protested.

“I never said we shouldn’t have them; I said they’re theft. And I’m mainly talking about income and property taxes, by the way. Excise taxes and sales taxes are a different story. So are user fees, such as the ones my parents paid for membership in the volunteer fire protection district back home or the tolls we pay for some of the roads here. But we should probably save this topic for another time. It’s turned into one of my political rants.”

“Sorry,” Deborah said.

“Actually, I find it fascinating,” Krissy said. “You hold two seemingly contradictory positions, but seem to be OK with that, and think it makes sense. And it actually might even make sense!”

“I’ll give you an even starker one - I think abortion is tantamount to murder, but I also think it needs to be legal. But THAT discussion might take all night, and I’m supposed to be here to give you advice or act as a sounding board.”

“The more I get to know you, the weirder things become.”

“That’s been said before.”

“Do you mind if I ask the difference between property and income taxes on one hand, and excise and sales taxes on the other hand?”

“I don’t want to get too much further into the politics, but basically, sales and excise taxes, and user fees, so long as you exclude food and medical care, are at least notionally voluntary - I can control what I buy, what services I use, or which roads I use. In other words, I’m taxed not simply for earning a living and owning a house, but on what I consume or use. We already have that, in a sense, in that we pay for city water, city sewers, garbage collection, and so on.

“I will point out, before I say my next piece, that prior to the 16th Amendment, the US government survived just fine on excise taxes and import duties. They served as a natural limit to the size and scope of government, and increased as the population grew. And that meant, except in limited cases, most people only paid excise taxes, which are on purchases of goods or services, or indirectly through import duties on products they bought. Those were completely controllable by the individual. And the only federal government employee most people ever met in their lives was the postmaster.”

“So you don’t consider those immoral or theft?”

I shook my head, “Not in the same way as dipping into my bank account or siphoning off the equity in any property I own. And I will point out that renting doesn’t escape property tax, because it’s included in the rent. And worse, a homeowner can deduct it from his federal and state taxes while a renter cannot. So no matter what my progressive friends say, it’s actually the poor who are hurt the most by property taxes. For me, it simply drains my potential gain if I sell my property, for them it drains their bank accounts. Payroll taxes are severely regressive and with the cap, they hurt the working poor more than the rich, but Loki forbid anyone tries to change it, or the progressives and seniors throw hissy fits.”

“An interesting perspective.”

“An accurate one. In the end, the difference is that with sales and excise taxes, I am, in effect, only taxed on my disposable income. To claim you have a moral right to take non-disposable income for the purpose of giving it to someone else just defies logic. To claim you have a moral right to siphon off the equity in my home equally defies logic.”

“So how would you pay for infrastructure?”

“Impact fees when a new lot is purchased for improvement, or transaction fees on the sale of existing improved lots. That covers your capital costs. Your operational costs are covered by sales or excise taxes, or user fees, like paying for water or sewer. We all get electricity from ComEd, and on your bill are excise fees to cover things like rights-of-way and use of city services. And Illinois is the king of toll roads! But let’s stop there, please.”

“Well, come on, let’s sit down to eat. Deborah explained your dietary limitations, so everything should be OK for you to eat.”

“Thanks.”

We went to the dining room of their Lincoln Park townhouse, and sat down. They’d prepared salad, chicken, and vegetables, and everything smelled and looked good. It tasted good as well.

“Have you two made any progress?” I asked.

“Well,” Krissy said between bites, “after my ill-advised invitation in Dallas, we had a long talk about what we truly wanted out of life, and how we hoped things would play out. That conversation continued after we came back to Chicago. We spent a lot of time talking about how involved we would want our kids’ dad in their lives, and what that might mean for our relationship. I know you sort of dodged this before, but would you tell me which situation, of the three you are involved with, you feel is best?”

“You and Deborah have a unique relationship, and it’s very difficult to say which one is best for you two.”

“Actually, I meant for the kids.”

“That’s only slightly easier, and I think a lot depends on the kids. My preference is for them to have a mom and a dad, and if there’s a second mom or second dad, I don’t think that causes a problem. I have trouble believing that Davey is somehow going to turn into a serial killer because there isn’t a strong male influence in his life. Or that he’ll turn out gay because he has lesbian parents. That said, my personal belief is he would be better off with SOME male influence. And maybe he’ll get that from the Sheriff who’s friends with Katy and Amy and joins them for dinner on Sundays.”

“I think I need to go into ‘attorney’ mode and depose you,” Deborah said. “Just a straight answer.”

“I think both situations at my house are about equal,” I replied. “So it’s hard to say. If you pushed me to answer, I’d say the ‘full-time dad’ situation with my four kids by my wives is the one I would prefer. But I’m NOT saying the other way is bad. Fundamentally, it’s going to come down to the two of you and the guy. I don’t see you going the route Katy and Amy have taken. I think, in the end, the bottom line is whether or not you want to bring a man into your permanent relationship? And that goes back to the questions I asked in Dallas about what that might look like.”

“Can you tell us more about how things work with Elyse and her boyfriend?”

“Elyse and the boys spend most Saturday nights at his place, spending most of Saturday and part of Sunday with him. As I mentioned, he’s careful about how he treats the boys, such that he’s closer to an uncle, I guess. Elyse and I make most of the decisions about the kids together, but we do take into account Eduardo’s feelings and I try not to do anything that would interfere with Elyse’s relationship with him.”

“So he sort of has weekend visitation, if you will?” Krissy asked.

“I suppose you could put it that way, but in a couple of years, they’re going to buy a house in the western suburbs, probably in the Oswego School District, and they’ll move. I’ll see the boys on weekends and special occasions.”

“You’ll just let them move out?”

“I made that choice when Elyse and I decided to have kids, but not marry. At some point, she was going to be in a relationship which led her away from the compound, as some people refer to my property. It’s not like they’re going to be in another state or anything, and scarily, Matthew will be able to drive in six years! Are you thinking of something like that - with the guy just seeing the kids on the weekends or special occasions?”

“In some ways, that seems most reasonable,” Deborah replied. “Maybe we’d find a guy we’d want to live with us, but I think that’s a long shot. I think we’re open to the idea, right Krissy?”

“Yes. I think we’ll start looking for the guy, and figure out what happens as we work through the issues with him. Our problem, of course, is how do we find a guy who’s interested in this kind of arrangement? And avoid some jackass who is just interested in sleeping with two lesbians?”

“Well, I think my suggestion would be that if he’s not going to be part of your sex life after conception, then you don’t have sex with him except for the purposes of conception, and then only after signing the necessary paperwork. I suppose that precludes a ‘trio’ because you’re, in effect, looking for a business transaction.”

“Oh sure, make it sound like we’re prostitutes!” Deborah objected.

“That’s not what I’m saying at all!” I protested. “But it IS a business transaction at that point, and you have to negotiate every little detail. If, on the other hand, you’re looking for a third to make a trio, it’s a different thing. You’ll still need paperwork, but that comes later, after you develop a relationship. You talked to Gwen Meyer, so you know what’s necessary. None of that paperwork detracted from my intimate relationships with my kids’ mothers, whether it was physical or not, post conception.”

“If we can go back to my intemperate comment in Dallas,” Krissy said, “we debated that question quite a bit.”

“It’s a perfectly valid question, and one that has a wide range of answers, depending on a wide range of possible circumstances.”

“As I said, Deborah and I discussed this, and we’re wondering, given that you have extensive experience in being in a three-way sexual relationship, if you’d be willing to help us experiment.”

“Before I answer that question,” I replied, “I have to say that my wives are not lesbians, and as such, I’m not the ‘odd man’ in the group. There isn’t one, really. Remember what I said about my wives - they rarely make love when I’m not around, and when I am, I’m usually the focus of attention because of anatomy, though on special occasions, two of us will team up on the other. Your circumstance is different.”

“OK, given that particular caveat, do you have an answer?”

“May I make a weird suggestion?”

“Weirder than this conversation or anything we’ve talked about?” Krissy asked with a silly smile.

“Probably, yes. I think you two should talk to Jennifer, Josie, Katy, Amy, Kara, and Jessica. Get their input, and maybe even Elyse’s. Don’t make it about me, make it about how the relationships work. After you talk to them, ask me again.”

“Your price?” Krissy asked.

I shook my head, “A suggestion. You can choose not to do that, and ask me for an answer instead. But I also suggest you and Deborah speak privately about it.”

“You think they’d all talk to us?” Deborah asked.

“Positive. And you’ll get differing opinions from each of them, and I don’t just mean as couples. Amy is very different from Josie who is very different from Jennifer who is very different from Katy. And of course, my wives, who are mostly straight.”

“We’ll take it under advisement,” Deborah said in her ‘attorney’ voice.

I chuckled and nodded, and we finished eating. After dinner, we hung out for about an hour before I said ‘good night’ and headed home.

April 26, 1997, Chicago, Illinois

“What’s that?” Matthew asked on Saturday afternoon as I ran cables from a silver box to the TV set.

“It’s a DVD player,” I replied. “It works like the VCR to play movies, only they’re on little plastic discs like CDs instead of tapes. And you don’t have to rewind! If you look in that bag, you’ll find a few discs. Go ahead and open one of them.”

“Blade Runner, Eraser, The Fugitive, and The Wizard of Oz,” he said, taking them from the bag.

“And on Wednesday, we can get Jumanji. I asked the guy at the store to set one aside for me.”

“So you just put this in like a CD and the movie plays?”

“Yes.”

“Wow! Can you record on them?”

“It’s possible, yes, but for now the only way we’d be able to do it is to hook the camera to a computer and make disks that way, and I don’t have a DVD burner, just a CD burner.”

“Can I put one in?”

“Sure. But let Michael know, please.”

“It’s weird being here with just you and Michael.”

“I know, but Aunt Kara took the girls shopping today with Tiffany and Rachel and their moms, Albert is with Uncle Dave at Cub Scouts, and Jesse has hockey practice.”

Matthew selected Blade Runner and went to get Michael, who was playing games on the new computer I’d bought at his request. I showed Matthew how to put the disc into the player, and then handed him the remote. The three of us then settled down on the couch to watch.

“Dad, can I play with the remote?” Matthew asked.

“Why?”

“I want to see what the buttons do?”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

He cycled through the buttons, including fast forward, chapter skipping, and the menus, and once he was done, started the movie over from the beginning.