Chapter 4: «Metanoia»

August 5, 1996, Chicago, Illinois

We had our usual Monday operational meeting, as I’d taken to thinking about it, and when it finished, I called together Kimmy, Elyse, Deborah, and Eve.

“Sorry to pull you away from your books,” I said to Deborah. “But I need you in this meeting. We’ll get you back to studying as soon as possible.”

“I can use this as a break,” she said. “I’ve basically done nothing but study for the past week!”

“OK. The four of us are here because I want to do a top-to-bottom audit and review of our internal procedures. I don’t think there’s anything untoward going on, but I want to make sure we have everything in place to prevent any kind of information leak, whether purposeful or inadvertent.”

“What are you worried about?” Deborah asked.

“Private customer information being leaked, internal documents being leaked, our source code being leaked, and so on. We have a number of controls in place, but I want to make sure we have everything covered. We really haven’t looked at these procedures in eighteen months, and we’ve added nearly thirty staff in that time. I’ve also asked Eve to visit our storage facility at Iron Mountain and verify that all of the records are there and are properly sealed. She’ll do that today.”

“We’re going to need to involve Julia, Cindi, Sam, and Charlie,” Elyse said.

“I realize. This is just a meeting to kick things off. Eve and Deborah will run with it, bringing in anyone they need. This really is Eve’s project, but we obviously need legal advice, so Deborah needs to be closely involved.”

“Do you suspect anyone of anything?” Deborah asked.

I shook my head, “No. But given everything that’s happened since the Hart-Lincoln raid, I think it’s time to review. The security team did their analysis, but that was very focused on digital and physical security. Eve’s new project is about procedures. Elyse, your team is integral because you handle all our proprietary information except for source code.”

“I’ll add it to the list,” she sighed. “You know how busy we are.”

“I do. If you need a temp, get one. I don’t THINK we have an issue, but I want to make sure we don’t, and that we have everything in place to prevent one, insofar as that’s possible.”

“OK. I’ll get a temp.”

“Anything else?” I asked.

There wasn’t, so everyone left my office and I went to my desk. I’d have the office to myself for two weeks while Penny was on vacation, and that would actually make dealing with the situation with Dave quite a bit easier. I’d only been at my desk for five minutes when Kimmy buzzed me and put through a call from Melanie.

“The invoice is valid,” she laughed. “But you have to pay ME!”

“Go ask Pete,” I chuckled.

“He said, and I’m quoting now, ‘No professional courtesy. Have him pay the invoice.’.”

“Did you tell him what the invoice actually SAID?” I chuckled.

“Of course not!”

“Then I suggest you show it to him and see what he thinks.”

“You’re just no fun anymore!”

“Something Penny tells me pretty much every single day!”

“I’ll inform her that her invoice was very unprofessional.”

“You’ll do no such thing!” I countered. “Just tell her I’m not in a position to pay, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Will do. How did things go with the FBI?”

“Didn’t she tell you?”

“What was said, but I don’t think she’s familiar enough with you to catch all the nuances of the conversation.”

“In that talk, there really weren’t any. It was the call afterwards, to which Eve was a party, that they decided to be ‘big dog’, but I know they need me FAR more than I need them. I already told them what I know, and they know I could easily avoid talking to Noel Spurgeon or any of his minions. They’ll let the charities keep the $10 million.”

“What?!”

“My price for helping Noel. And I know how to do it so they can’t directly tie it to me OR Noel or anyone helping him. Heck, my FBI friends won’t even know WHICH charities got the money!”

“You’re too much! So are you a full-blown FBI informant now?”

“Just call me ‘Snuggy Bear’,” I chuckled.

“Oh, God, no!” Melanie groaned. “A play on Starsky & Hutch? Next thing you’ll be telling me is your ‘porn’ name.”

“I didn’t have one, but with the hot new amateur golfer who made the cut at The Masters last year that Pete and the guys were talking about, Kara came up with one!”

“Don’t say it!”

“Tiger Wood!”

“You STILL don’t do what you’re told!” Melanie laughed.

“Really?” I chuckled, then switched to falsetto, “‘Steve, kneel between my legs.’.”

“Asshole,” she growled.

“That was EXACTLY the point, I believe!”

“One day, Mr. Adams, one day!”

“Bring it on, Counselor! Anyway, tell Grace I appreciate the gesture, but I have to decline.”

“Maybe she’ll send a collection agency after you!”

“Eighteen-year-old virgin quintuplets. That’s the only way I’ll pay up!”

“Still incorrigible after all these years!”

“You only have yourself to blame, Melanie Spencer!”

“Twenty years?”

“Close to it. October of ‘77, if you’re referring to Melanie’s Backdoor Adventure!”

Melanie laughed hard, “Been hanging out in adult video stores?”

“No. I remember back when we first moved here, well, when Kara first moved here, the video store had a back room with porn movies and we checked out the titles before renting a couple.”

“Which?”

“Tame stuff, Mel. Debbie Does Dallas and Insatiable. But that was later, after I bought the house. Oh, and Kara and I reenacted the pool table scene. On video.”

“Oh, you did NOT!” Melanie protested with a laugh.

“We did. Too bad for you Kara erased the tape and burned it.”

“And I had to marry Mr. Conventional,” she sighed.

“Because you love him more than any man on this planet, including me.”

“True. Anyway, keep me posted on the Feds.”

“Will do.”

We said ‘goodbye’ and hung up. Melanie and I hadn’t had a conversation like that in a long time and I’d really enjoyed it. The rest of the morning passed by quickly, and after sharing lunch at the low table in my office with Kimmy, I called the FBI to give them the number of the ‘burner’ cell phone which Murray Matheson had provided. The call was short because there was nothing else to tell them. That didn’t stop Agent Stone from reminding me of the consequences of not being straight with them. I simply replied in the affirmative and let it go.

Just after 3:00pm Dave came to my office, and for the first time in months, I shut the glass doors that separated Kimmy’s area from the rest of my office. Dave and I sat on the «zaisu» chairs.

“Check and mate?” he asked.

“It’s not like that, Dave,” I replied. “May I be blunt?”

“Nothing has ever stopped you before.”

“You need some time away from here, but you’re too valuable to lose permanently. But there’s more to it, Dave. You were my best friend when we were at IIT and I honestly miss that. You’re the only one here who is ‘all business, all the time’. It’s totally unnecessary.”

“You know I disagree with you on that topic.”

“I do. But has it caused problems with anyone else here?”

“Kaitlin? Mikela? Penny? Terry?”

“The first two weren’t friends. The second two had zero to do with my friendship with them, except for the way I handled what might have been a disastrous situation.”

“Don’t you think you set that up?”

“I wasn’t the only one engaging in intimate relations with someone at NIKA,” I said gently.

“I thought you said the situation with Julia and me was different.”

I nodded, “It is. But being with Elyse and being with Michelle had nothing to do with what happened with the ‘Gang of Four’. That started long before Michelle appeared on the scene. In fact, I’ll share this with you because of the situation, and I trust you not to repeat it, but Tasha got involved with Penny and Terry before she started dating Zeke. In fact, I started calling them the ‘Gang of Four’ in March of ‘89. Michelle didn’t show up in until the Fall of ‘91, and I didn’t really get to know her until the Spring of ‘92. Penny, Terry, Tasha, and Zeke were swapping before she got pregnant with Amber, which was in late ‘88.”

“Don’t you think your lax attitude about relationships encouraged that?”

“Encouraged Penny and Tasha to jointly seduce Terry? Your understanding of what happened is way off. He didn’t instigate it, Dave, the girls did. What happened after that is totally understandable if you know all the details. I’ve already shared WAY too much, but I think I needed to. None of that had anything to do with me being friends with people who work here. And I daresay you can’t point to an incident where I put my thumb on the scale to help someone who didn’t earn their position on merit or when someone appealed to me out of friendship. Can you?”

He shook his head, “No, I guess I can’t.”

“There are a number of reasons why the pay scales are set the way they are. Part of it is egalitarian. But part of it is ensuring that nobody plays favorites with salaries. The same is true for bonuses. I haven’t interfered there, and I also can’t point to any of the directors or vice presidents playing favorites.”

“Promotions?”

“Name one that wasn’t on merit,” I challenged. “And if you’re going to say Michelle or Eve, I’m going to point out that in both cases, everything went very well. My gut was right. Beyond that? It’s been you and the other senior managers who have decided those things.”

“Terry?”

“Set aside your opinion of his morals for a moment and tell me about Terry the programmer and manager.”

Dave smiled, “You know what I think because you read every single review for every single person who works here, and have since day one.”

“So, moral outrage aside, he’s well-qualified for the position?”

“Yes. But integrity matters, Steve. YOU, despite the swathe you’ve cut through the female of the species, don’t cheat. I don’t approve of your promiscuity, but there’s a difference.”

“Yes, there is. But Dave, he’s not the only NIKA employee who’s cheated. You know about him, so you’re outraged. You don’t know about the others.”

“But you do.”

“And insofar as it doesn’t affect NIKA, it’s none of my business. Do I have an ethical problem with it? Sure. But my relationship ethics only apply to me and my wives and anyone else I’m involved with. You know that’s always been the case. That said, you also know that I refused to waive policy for Terry and Skye. And I’ve stuck to that, and from everything I hear from Barbara and others in Colorado, they are following the rules.”

“I still say you were too soft on him.”

“And Jefferson? And Charlie? And Callie? No second chances, Dave? No «metanoia»? They miss their mark and they’re cast out forever? Last I checked, that wasn’t the Orthodox teaching.”

“Now you’re fighting dirty,” Dave laughed.

“Just pointing out that contrition goes a long way, and forgiveness is something we ought to practice. Not in the sense of being doormats, but second chances are often warranted. Third chances are another thing altogether.”

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

I shook my head, “You haven’t done anything which would necessitate forgiveness. We’ve disagreed, and you’ve worked hard to keep me honest. There’s nothing wrong with that. But when someone starts seeing problems everywhere when nobody else does, it calls for intervention of some kind. Now, it’s possible that person is the one seeing clearly, but oftentimes when you’re the ‘voice in the wilderness’, you’re the one who is wrong. Well, unless you’re claiming to be John the Baptist!”

“Not hardly!” Dave laughed.

“So do you agree you need some time away?”

“What is it you just said? If everyone else sees things one way, you have to consider that you’re wrong. But doesn’t that apply to you?”

“Of course it does! But what does that say about the rest of you who have followed me on this Quixotic quest?”

“That we’ve all made a lot of money from what had to be one of the most harebrained ideas ever in the history of the world!”

“Then why?”

“Because we all trusted you. And our trust has proven to be correct.”

“Then will you trust me on my solution to our current challenge?”

“I talked to Doctor Bauer today.”

“And?”

“I’d be teaching the class we helped Scott develop, a database class, CS200, and do career counseling for Seniors. And working on my Master’s.”

I nodded, “That was what he and I discussed. I told Julia those things, but there is one other thing I didn’t tell her.”

“What’s that?”

“NIKA would retain you as a consultant to help make up the salary difference. It’s not as if we can’t use your advice. BUT, that doesn’t start until after your first academic year so you have time to decompress, and it can’t be too many hours. You’ll be paid your entire bonus for this year, and there will be a special one-time bonus we’ll pay if you decide to go back to school. We’ll also cover any costs of your Master’s which aren’t covered by the CS department.”

“You really want me out of here that badly?”

“You have it exactly backwards, Dave. I want us to be close friends again, if you’re willing to try, and I want you here long-term. I think you need a break. I also think having your Master’s would be good for everyone involved. AND, you’ll have a chance to teach people we’ll hire over the next several years. And, then, when you’re ready, you come back and manage them.”

“What happens if I don’t go along with this plan?”

“You stay, if you want, and the conflicts we’re having continue until they come to a head one way or another. I’m not forcing you out, Dave. I’m trying to find a way to keep you in.”

“By sending me out?”

“As counter-intuitive as it seems, yes. But like the elevators at the Sears Tower, sometimes you have to go up to go down. What did Julia say?”

“Most of the same things you did.”

“Did you talk to anyone else?”

“Father Nick, who agrees with you and Julia.”

“So what are you going to do?” I asked.

“Who replaces me? And what happens if I come back?”

“When you come back, Dave, not ‘if’. You resume your role. I’ll handle that with the person who fills your seat while you’re on an extended sabbatical.”

“Is that what you’ll call it?”

“Yes.”

“I do NOT want Terry in that chair, Steve.”

“Give me a single good reason that has nothing to do with his moral failings.”

“Shit,” Dave sighed. “You ARE going to promote him.”

“Again, give me a single reason, related to his job performance, not to.”

“What about Penny and Tasha?”

“What about them? There are no intimate relationships and they all get along.”

Dave shook his head, “We’re going to have to agree to disagree on this issue.”

Arguing with Dave on this topic wasn’t going to get me anywhere, and might actually lead to a bad result - him staying, or worse, never coming back. I decided to just let it go.

“I suppose so,” I replied. “Have you decided what to do?”

“I really don’t believe I have much of a choice.”

I disagreed, though I understood why he saw it that way. He knew, as well as I did, that if he stayed, the conflict would continue to grow, and in the end, given the dynamics at NIKA, he’d be the one left out in the cold. He didn’t like the choices he had - stay and not change, with likely disastrous results; leave with a plan to come back; leave for good; or stay and change his views on people and relationships.

That last one was going to be the sticky wicket, as Kajri or Sweeney would have described it. I felt being in a different environment for a few years might attenuate the feelings, and by the time he came back, the memories of the issues might have faded. At least that’s what I hoped would happen, not to mention trying to restore our friendship.

“Dave, have I ever suggested something which wasn’t ultimately in your best interest?”

He smiled wanly and shook his head, “No. Even when we’ve disagreed, you’ve always looked out for what you thought was my best interest.”

“Thought?”

“What you think is my best interest always seems to coincide with what you want to happen.”

“Have you considered that what I want is to do what’s in your best interest? Have a happy and successful life? While NIKA is successful and is a place we all want to work? Not to mention all of us making good money in the process? And, Dave, if I wanted to get rid of you, would I make the accommodations I’m making?”

“Julia pointed that out as well.”

“If there is ONE thing I’ve learned in nearly eleven years of marriage, it’s to listen to my wives. I don’t always take their advice, but I find I make better decisions when I listen.”

“I thought your daughter ran the household!”

“She THINKS she does,” I chuckled. “And it’s simply easier to allow her to believe that. Even Jesse decided the fight’s not worth it at this point. She lives in her little fantasy world and we’re all MUCH happier to let her stay there!”

“She has you wrapped so tightly around your finger you’d never do anything to upset her.”

“Nor would I you, Dave.”

“Are you saying I should take my medicine and be quiet?”

“No, of course not. But that’s another thing I’ve learned - despite my severe distaste for pharmaceuticals, and even more severe distaste for the companies which make them, sometimes they’re necessary.”