Chapter 18: Changing Dynamics

September 29, 1996, Chicago, Illinois

“That was really dangerous, Kara,” I said as we showered after the sauna.

“I was just trying to nudge her forward a bit,” Kara protested.

“Asking her to have sex in front of you is NOT a nudge! It’s a spinning jump kick to the abdomen! Think about where she was just six months ago! She’s not you, Kara. She came from very conservative, Hispanic, Roman Catholic family, and she was NOT a ‘free spirit’!”

“I’m sorry.”

“I actually don’t mind gentle nudges, but saying your happiness depends on exhibitionism isn’t a gentle nudge. Are you bored with our sex life, Honey?”

“What do you like to say? It’s complicated?”

“I wonder if we shouldn’t have this talk with Jessica.”

“I think telling her might cause problems we don’t need or want.”

“Because she has her dream situation? Well, once she decided it wasn’t a nightmare.”

“And you’re happy, because everything is calm, you have the family you dreamed about, and you get fucked silly by your beautiful wives and your young girlfriend.”

“There’s something else I haven’t told you, Honey,” I said.

We got out of the shower and began drying off.

“What?”

“I’m unhappy about how things are going at NIKA.”

“What?! Elyse said you’re more profitable than ever and that everything is on track for your plans to smack down Dante. And I’ve seen our bank account statements!”

“All of that is true. But you know my concerns about company culture? Well, now it’s about how big NIKA is becoming and how I feel it’s losing its character.”

“So what can you do?”

“I’m not sure. I arranged to talk to a career coach who’s a retired entrepreneur. I was going to talk to you and Jess tonight about going to Ohio for two weeks to talk with him and have some ‘me time’, which I haven’t done.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I don’t bring work home, remember? And that is NOT a criticism of you grading papers here or Jess dictating charts. We each choose how to handle those things, and you two prefer to do those things at home rather than in the office. But none of us talk much about work, except for when we ask Jess about her day.”

“Maybe that was a mistake. I mean, not talking about work.”

“Maybe. But I turned the conversation away from your issues. I’m sorry. What’s missing?”

“I’m not sure, really, but I miss how we used to tease with Kurt and Kathy. You and Melanie don’t kiss the way you used to. I miss the Rap Sessions and the naked saunas we had in the past.”

“So we’re getting old and boring?” I asked.

“I don’t think that’s how I’d put it, but maybe there is some truth to that.”

“And you feel Jess and I are both OK with the changes, but you aren’t.”

“I think you both adapted better to them.”

“Then the three of us need to figure out how to solve this before it turns into a serious problem that causes a rift. And I don’t think it should have anything to do with Maria Cristina.”

“Could we restart the Rap Sessions?”

I took a deep breath and let it out, “I think we’d have a real struggle finding the right group of people. You know what happened in San Diego.”

“True. And you think you won’t be invited back.”

“Not once the complaint was made. I was actually thinking of going back and holding a session with the small, core group. You could come along.”

“Would you be willing to do a naked session?”

I chuckled, “I’m sure Alice, Nancy, and Misty would go for that! I’m not so sure about Phil, Ben, or the other guys. Or the other girls. And we couldn’t do that on campus. I’m curious about something and hope you’ll give me an honest answer.”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to be with another guy? Who it might be isn’t the point. Just the concept?”

We had finished dressing, and Kara took my hand and led me to the loveseat to sit.

“No. Maybe it’s the one remnant of my fundamentalist upbringing, but I never want to make love to anyone but you.”

I grinned, “Which is different from having sex with someone.”

Kara laughed, “I don’t want to sleep with, fuck, screw, bang, or whatever other euphemism you want to come up with, anyone but you and Jess.”

“But watching me turns you on? And hearing about what I do?”

“Yes. Similar to, but not the same as, watching those porn movies. And making one with you! Not to mention being naked in the sauna, and that perfect Rap Session where we all got naked.”

I nodded, “So your penchant for voyeurism and exhibitionism? That’s not being fed?”

“I suppose that’s the best way to put it, yes.”

“Do you have a specific fantasy, Kara? Well, one that could actually be carried out!”

She smirked, “I suppose fucking on home plate during the ‘Seventh Inning Stretch’ at a Cubs game or at center ice during an intermission of a Blackhawks game are both out!”

“Getting arrested isn’t at the top of the list of my ideas of fun things to do,” I said with a smile.

“Do you remember when Abbie wrote the script?”

“Virgin Slayer?”

“Yes. Part of me was hoping you would actually agree to make it.”

“Because you wanted to watch me have sex with a dozen virgins?” I asked with an arched eyebrow.

“And have it filmed! And I hoped you might want to make one with me and Jess.”

“You remember the risks we talked about? If it got out?”

“Yes, but we have our own camera, and if we locked up the tapes, they’d be safe. It’s not like we’d make copies.”

“I’m not sure filming the script is remotely possible, or something I’d want to do, but if Jess agreed, I’m sure we could make a video. And we could have more naked saunas with our closest friends, but they couldn’t include Maria Cristina or Stephanie and Ed. And there are others, too, who couldn’t participate like Brian and Samantha.”

“But our core friends would be OK. We don’t do that often enough.”

“True,” I agreed. “And that would help your exhibitionist tendencies. I’m not sure how to solve the voyeuristic ones.”

“Tell me about things you do with other girls.”

“I can’t do that for Maria Cristina, any more than she could make love in front of you, or watch you and me make love. But you really want to do that, don’t you?”

“I’ve seen you and Jess, obviously; and you and Joyce a long time ago. Maybe it’s strange, but do you know what I REALLY would like to see?”

“Not unless you tell me.”

“You make love to a virgin for the first time,” Kara said softly, with obvious longing.

“A sixteen-year-old, blonde, evangelical girl?” I asked with a wry smile. “So you can see what it was like with you, but watching, instead of participating?”

Kara laughed softly, “Perhaps! Do you know the one time I was totally jealous?”

“No.”

“When you and Samantha were with Ellie. That you demonstrated with Samantha then did it with Ellie.”

“And your fantasy is to do something like that?”

“Yes,” Kara breathed. “Could we?”

“First of all, you would need Jessica’s permission. Second, the risks involved are pretty high. Third, finding a girl would be difficult. And fourth, it basically goes against my current philosophy. A naked Rap Session in San Diego is much more likely.”

“Did those girls want to have sex with you?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know. My take is that they didn’t, except perhaps Alice. They were intrigued by the idea of discussing philosophy naked, but beyond that, I didn’t get the drift that it was about having sex. And Alice joked more about orgies than anything, and it seemed as if that was just a bit of silliness. So it’s not likely you could watch me have sex with a roomful of co-eds!”

“But even the philosophy discussion would be awesome. Do you think that’s possible?”

“Off-campus? Probably. The hotel I stay in has suites with large sitting rooms, so we could easily have between six and eight students. I’d have to talk to them, probably through Phil Edwards, and see if they were interested.”

“Would you? I mean, unless you think we could organize something here.”

“Do you? Most of the kids we dealt with have graduated, and it would take a lot of effort to find the right group, AND get them to a point where they’d be willing to be naked together. I’m not even sure all the deep-thinkers in San Diego would go for it. As I said, I’ll have to ask.”

“Can I ask you something without you getting upset?”

“Kara...” I sighed.

“Why do you always think the worst?”

“Because it’s YOU!” I said with a laugh meant to lighten my words.

“Am I that bad?” she asked.

“Yes! And lest you think I’m holding you to some high standard, I’ve been just as bad in the past!”

“And in the future?”

“One day at a time. Go on and ask.”

“What do you think of Summer?”

“Summer?”

“The babysitter who watches the kids when they get home from school.”

“I don’t.”

“Don’t?”

“I didn’t even remember her name,” I chuckled. “I’ve only seen her once or twice. She’s always gone before I get home because you’re home before 5:00pm nearly every day.”

“She thinks you’re hot.”

“She barely knows me!” I protested. “And how do YOU know that?”

Kara laughed, “Your daughter mentioned that Summer has a severe crush on you.”

“How the hell is that even possible when she doesn’t know me?”

“Right, because YOU have never seen a girl and been interested without knowing her.”

“I have, obviously.”

“She’s seventeen, so it’s not risky in that way.”

“Kara...”

“I haven’t said a word to her! And I wouldn’t! I can’t vouch for Miss ‘Sell Passes to My Friends to Fuck My Dad’!”

“That was a JOKE!” I protested. “I told you and Jess about that comment because it was funny!”

“And because there is at least a smidgen of truth to it; well, more than a smidgen. And you know Birgit has zero problems with your ‘dall-yances’. I’m not saying you would, but she’d have no issues with you banging Tiffany until she couldn’t see straight!”

“Let’s worry about those problems in the future. Even assuming Summer is interested, who says she’s going to be willing to lose her virginity in front of someone else? And that makes a HUGE assumption about her actually being a virgin.”

“Maybe we should make the movie from Abbie’s script ... we’ll find one that way!”

“Or twelve?” I smirked. “Seriously, I’m not sure how we can fulfill this part of your desires. The exhibitionism is pretty simple, really. And I suspect Jess will be happy to participate if you want to make a video. But the voyeurism bit, especially with a virgin who is seventeen or eighteen, is difficult at best.”

“Because you don’t want to?”

“At a minimum it’s a ‘want’ versus ‘should’ thing. I’ve purposefully moved away from that.”

“But you know the issue will come up when Tiffany or Kristin or Katherine decide you’d be a good choice for their first time.”

“As I’ve said, I’ll worry about that if and when it happens. Trust me, I am NOT going to do anything to encourage it.”

“Which doesn’t mean it won’t happen,” Kara said firmly, but with a smile.

“Talk to me in five or six years. And that really has nothing to do with what you’re asking for. To be honest, part of my issue is what happened with Ryanne and Maureen.”

“But you’ve been with new girls since, right?”

“Yes, but in each case, except perhaps Meredith, there was a proper relationship BEFORE the idea of sex was broached. I’m not going to say it wasn’t thought about, but it wasn’t stated or even intimated. And Meredith was the one that felt wrong, though not nearly so wrong as the twins.”

“But wasn’t that issue really about you and Kathy back in High School?”

“To a point.”

“And you couldn’t see your way clear to do this for me?”

I took a deep breath and let it out.

“The ‘Old Steve’, the submissive one, would have done whatever you asked, without any real concern for anything except trying to make you happy. The ‘New Steve’, well, the current version of ‘New Steve’ which I think is up to 4.0 or something, has a very different outlook.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Kara said with a soft smile.

“Could I? Sure. Should I? That’s a very different question. Can we make a deal?”

“What deal?”

“We talk this through with Jessica tonight. And we both agree no pressure - you just tell her how you’re feeling and what you need. Let’s see what she has to say.”

“OK. I want to talk to Maria Cristina and apologize. And explain myself.”

“Just be careful, please. We have a very complex set of relationships in the house, and she’s done an amazing job of adapting. You and I are pretty much open to anything, but she’s not, and it’s entirely possible she won’t ever be. In the end, nothing that happens between Maria Cristina and me will take away the transactional part of my relationship with her.”

“May I remind you that YOU believe every human interaction is an exchange of value?”

I laughed, then exclaimed, “Oh shut up!”

“May I also suggest you align your ‘dall-yance’ thinking and your ‘exchange of value’ thinking? It’s certainly not a MORAL issue for you.”

“That’s true, unless the young woman in question has a moral issue. THEN it becomes unethical on my part to cause her to violate her morals.”

“Are you talking about me?”

I laughed, hard, “Oh sure! The young woman who said her panties were soaked just sitting next to me the first day in Mrs. Brewer’s chemistry class! I will say that you put on a good act and played hard to get! That was in September, and by February you were saying things like ‘I want you to fuck my hot, tight pussy with your big dick’ and ‘I want to suck your big dick and swallow your hot cum’ and ‘I want you to fuck my cute little ass’!”

“Who? Me?” she asked primly.

“Yes! You!”

“I’m curious; would you have actually made that movie with Abbie if it had been purely for private viewing?”

“Abbie would never have gone for that,” I replied, “so I didn’t really have to decide. She only wanted to make it so she could release it. Heck, she probably could have sold the script to a company which made pornography for a few thousand dollars. But she really wanted to produce and direct the movie herself.”

“So what you’ve told me, then, is that I just need to find the right exchange of value!”

“I suppose that’s true.”

“I’ll tell you another secret,” Kara said with a sly smile.

“Which is?”

“That you value making me happy enough that this should be fairly easy!”

I shook my head and smiled wryly because Kara had a point.

“Let’s talk to Jessica and see what she says.”

Kara and I exchanged a soft kiss, then she went to find Maria Cristina, and I went to the coach house to see how the boys were doing with their Nintendo 64.

“How’s it going, Ducky?” I asked when I walked in.

“Great!” Jesse said, furiously mashing the controller to get Mario to move on the screen.

“How is Super Mario 64?” I asked.

“It’s totally cool,” Matthew said. “Mario can move every direction instead of side-to-side and up and down.”

Jesse lost his last ‘life’ and handed the controller to Albert to start a new run.

“Where are Mom One and Mom Two?” I asked.

“They decided to hide in their bedroom!” Jesse smirked. “I don’t think they’re ‘kissing’.”

“I won’t bother them,” I grinned. “The last thing I want to do is see Mom One and Mom Two kissing!”

“Uh-huh,” Jesse deadpanned. “I know you and Mom One want to have sex!”

“But we don’t because we both love Mom Two. How is Francesca?”

“Her mom is being a bitch,” Jesse groused. “She’s only allowed to be with me if either her mom or dad is here, or if one of Francesca’s friends is here. It’s not like we do anything bad!”

“I know, but Francesca’s mom has always objected to how we live our lives.”

“She doesn’t like it that I have two moms. But I’ve always had two moms!”

“And there is nothing wrong with that, either,” I replied. “She never liked the fact that Aunt Kara and Aunt Jessica and I are married.”

“Why are some adults so dumb?”

“I ask myself that question all the time. I’m going to go back to the main house. You four remember that our family dinner takes precedence over your new game console.”

“Yes, Dad,” all four boys replied, complete with synchronized eye rolls.

I headed back to the house and didn’t see Kara or Maria Cristina, and Tiffany’s mom, Julie, hadn’t brought the girls home, so I went to my study and fired up my Mac to write in my journal. I ended up writing for about thirty minutes before I heard the door open and Birgit, Ashley, and Stephie came in. They rushed to my study to get hugs, and just as I put Stephie down, Kara and Maria Cristina joined us.

“We’re going to start dinner,” Kara said.

“Everything OK?” I asked, looking at Maria Cristina.

“Yes,” she replied.

They left and went to the kitchen with the girls following them, and I continued to write in my journal until Stephanie and Ed arrived with their kids, followed almost immediately by Brian and Samantha. I checked my watch, and went to the kitchen to let Kara know it was time to walk to get Jess. She turned over her kitchen duties to Samantha, and we left the house.

“Everything OK?” I asked.

“Yes,” Kara replied. “I apologized and explained things. And I promise I didn’t try to pressure her or guilt her into doing what I asked before.”

“Good.”

“I made a mistake, Snuggle Bear.”

“We all make mistakes, Honey. The goal is to learn from them and then not make them again.”

“She offered to give up her night with you tonight but I told her that wasn’t necessary.”

“I don’t think we should say anything to Jess until later. But we’ll need to find some time before bed.”

“Maria Cristina has homework to do, I’m sure. It’s just a question of what your sister and Ed decide to do.”

“They won’t stay tonight, and neither will Samantha. They have a strategy meeting with their overnight traders just before the London market opens, so she has to be up at 2:00am.”

“That’s crazy!”

“That’s why Samantha pays Stephanie so well. Spurgeon basically works around the clock, except for Friday evenings and Saturdays when all the markets are closed globally. NIKA doesn’t have that kind of business, and I don’t foresee us having round-the-clock support. Lyusya is going to run her own show, and if there are issues, we’ll speak late enough in her day that I won’t have to be up early.”