Chapter 10: Revelation and Reconciliation

September 3, 1996, Chicago, Illinois

“I’d like to welcome Terry to the Executive Committee meeting. He’s decided to continue Dave’s tradition and not regularly attend, but Julia and I felt he should come to this meeting to familiarize himself with the format and content of these meetings. In the future, he’ll only attend if Julia or I think it’s necessary, or if he changes his mind.”

“Not much chance of THAT!” Charlie laughed. “You’re going to quit coming to these as soon as Stephanie comes on board!”

“Guilty as charged,” I grinned. “That is not to say these meetings are not valuable, or that I’m uninterested in the material, but my plan, as it has always been, is to be a programmer. I trust my sister to run things, and for you all to invite me when I’m truly needed here. But, if I don’t recuse myself, I’ll NEVER get to code, and I’ll get in serious trouble with the VP of Software Development, for whom I’ll work!

“That said, I did make an executive decision last week. As I either told you personally or you saw in the email I sent out, Sam is, for all intents and purposes, assigned full-time to Ford, Jackson, and Finch to assist Ben Jackson. She’ll be covering for Megan Burch, who was badly injured in an automobile accident. Megan is expected to make a full recovery, but she’s out of commission until around the end of October. Sam’s going to provide the IT expertise so Ben can cover for Megan.”

“Pardon the newbie question, but she’s the attorney with the CS degree from MIT and law degree from Yale?” Terry asked.

“Correct. She’s the one who works closely with our IT security consultants and whom we are working with on things like electronic discovery. She’s been building a practice around IT law, and Ben needs to keep the lights on while she’s recuperating. Brenda will keep an eye on the Egon Zehnder project, though Charlie is managing the actual day-to-day work to implement Sam’s design.

“That’s it from me. Kimmy will, as usual, run the rest of the meeting.”

The meeting proceeded as usual, and when it finished, Terry followed me down the hall to my office.

“I can see why you hate those meetings,” Terry said, shaking his head.

“I can get the same information in a one-page memo and ask questions if I need to. But I also understand the dynamics of the team and ensuring everyone at the director level and above is pulling the oars in unison. The rest of the team wants these meetings, so we have them.”

“Will it be a full sixteen months before I have any significant amount of your time for coding?”

“I’d say you have to plan on that. I’ll need to help Brenda, given Sam is oversubscribed, and help cover for Julia when she takes her two-month sabbatical next Spring.”

“Do you know how many of the development team have applied for sabbaticals?”

“No. You would have to ask Keri or Elyse about that. I only ever see them if they need my approval, which they only do if what they want is outside the basic guidelines of secular charitable work or education.”

“OK. I’ll talk to Elyse. Anything else before I get started?”

I shook my head, “No. I talked to Zeke, Tasha, and Penny, and Elyse spoke with Keri. None of them raised any issues and I’d really like to keep it that way.”

“You and me both, Boss! And other than Penny being annoyed because you didn’t call her during her vacation, she’s totally cool. She’s happy I can be with the kids more.”

“I think that’s what ultimately saved my life,” I grinned. “I’m just glad you guys are on good terms.”

“I still love her; it was just after everything, I couldn’t stay together with her. But we’re fine.”

“She told me the same thing, by the way. She blames herself, but I blame me.”

Terry shook his head, “Boss, there is stuff you don’t know about. I can’t share, but seriously, what happened with Penny was always going to happen with Penny.”

“He’s right,” Penny said from behind me, returning from her meeting with Zo. “And I should tell you.”

“That’s up to you, Penny.”

“I’ll head downstairs,” Terry said.

“Lunch?” she asked.

Terry smiled, “Sure.”

He left, I closed the glass doors, then Penny and I sat down in the «zaisu» chairs.

“There’s one thing I never told you about my biological dad, and it’s the main reason I didn’t like him. He fucked every single one of my babysitters from the time I was little. I found out because I overheard one of them talking to her friend on the phone about it. I’m pretty sure he was doing that with the babysitter he and his wife used when they had their baby.

“Anyway, my counselor, who I told about this, hypothesized that his behavior messed up my views on relationships and fidelity. I managed with you because, well, I was addicted to you. And other than you, I’ve cheated on every single guy I was in a relationship with. This all only really came out in the past couple of months, after Bethany told us about the proper interpretation of the rules and I could tell my counselor everything. Well, not who you were or anything that could identify you.

“I told Terry about it, and he went to talk with the counselor about it last week. I planned to tell you this week, but I guess the conversation with Terry just made it easy to do now. It’s not your fault, Steve. It never was. The model I had growing up was that teenage girls had sex with older guys and enjoyed it. And that fidelity wasn’t REALLY required.”

“But my situation couldn’t have helped,” I replied.

Penny smiled, “Believe it or not, it provided a safe environment and a safe outlet for what I wanted to do - fuck an older guy. But it’s more complicated because you weren’t just any guy. In fact, if you HAD been just some random older guy I fucked, who knows what might have happened. You were safe.”

“How much of this did Bart know?” I asked.

“You’re very wise, for a ‘dumb boy’,” she said, shaking her head. “He knew my dad was cheating on my mom. I don’t know how much he knew, but enough, I guess. It’s why he was very careful about his relationship with her until the divorce was final. And he’s been the model of fidelity that I should have had from the time I was little.”

“I’m not.”

“Bullshit! You always said fidelity was keeping your word, and you did that. Certainly to me, and I’m pretty sure to your wives. You never made the promise my dad did.”

“But you saw the situation I was in.”

Penny smiled, “You mean the one where you, Kara, Kathy, and Kurt teased each other mercilessly about swapping but ALWAYS stayed on the correct side of the line? The one where you and Melanie Spencer kiss like you’re doing throat cultures, but never once stepped over the line? The ones where you turned down my friends who wanted you to fuck them senseless because you didn’t want to hurt me?

“You’re always focusing on what you think you modeled badly, and never what you modeled properly. Do you have a lot of sex partners? Sure. But you also knew where to draw the line. I never learned that; well, at least before the last six months or so. I just didn’t pay attention to the things I should have. Part of it was being hooked on sex with you, but a lot of it was because I had a very bad model in my biological dad.

“I look at your kids and I don’t see them EVER being unfaithful. If they’re going to fool around, it will be in a situation which lets them keep their word. Heck, just look at Jesse. Amber, Kristin, and Katherine would totally tolerate sharing him, at least for now. But he’s stuck to his agreement with Francesca since he was what? Six months old?”

“Yes.”

“So HE learned the correct lesson. And don’t even get me started on Stephie. She’s going to marry Nicholas come hell or high water, and never even LOOK at another guy. Again, she’s learned the correct lessons.”

“I hadn’t considered it that way. I’ll need to give it some thought, but you are making sense. So, you and Terry?”

She smiled, “We went on a date last Thursday. Dinner and a show. And when he walked me to the door, I gave him a ‘good night’ kiss on the cheek.”

“Now THAT is an interesting development.”

“You heard him say he still loves me. I still love him. But I hurt him very badly. It’s funny because I don’t blame him for Mikela or Keri. He was a conventional, traditional guy, and I brought Tasha into our relationship. That was a HUGE mistake on my part because it created all sorts of tension in his mind which he couldn’t resolve.”

“We’re each responsible for our own actions, Pretty Penny.”

“And had I not brought Tasha into it, and had that threesome, which later became a foursome, none of the other stuff would have happened.”

“You don’t know that,” I replied.

“Spare me the ‘What if?’ lecture, please. The inflection point, the action which led us down that path, was when I invited Tasha to have sex with us. Terry would NEVER have done that. I don’t know that he ever thought about it except in the usual male fantasy way. He knew you were a ‘player’ as he called it back then, but that totally wasn’t him and he didn’t WANT to be a ‘player’. He just wanted me. But I offered Tasha and I’m not sure anyone could resist that offer.”

I chuckled softly, “That thought did cross my mind when you first told me.”

Penny smirked, “Perhaps if I’d have known then what I know now...”

“And there’s the ultimate problem with ‘What if?’ questions. You can’t do that any more than you can get in a time machine to go back and talk to your fourteen-year-old self.”

“I know. There’s one thing my counselor said I needed to do.”

“What’s that?”

Penny smirked, “Have you fuck my brains out!”

“She did NOT!” I spat, but I was laughing.

“A girl can try, right?”

“I suppose.”

“But that’s the last time I’ll ask, Steve. And I was only half-serious.”

“Now who’s not being honest?” I asked.

Penny’s eyes shot wide open, “You still want me, don’t you?”

“Of course! But remember what you said about lines?”

Penny nodded, “I know. And that’s what my counselor has been emphasizing. I need to stop behaving the way I do with you. Well, at least to a point. Kisses on the cheek and loving hugs are OK, but the attempts to get you into bed have to stop.”

I nodded, “I agree.”

“That was one of Terry’s conditions for a second date. No more flirting like that with anyone, including you.”

“A wise condition. I take it you accepted?”

“I’ll tell him at lunch today.”

“Good. And?”

“We’ll see what happens. We still love each other. Maybe even enough that this time, we can last forever.”

Penny and I exchanged a hug, I opened the glass doors, and we went to our workstations.

September 4, 1996, Chicago, Illinois

“What’s your opinion of the cruise missile strikes on Iraq yesterday?” Charlie asked when my ‘Kitchen Cabinet’ gathered on Tuesday.

“They’re a product of the stupidity of how we handled Operation Desert Storm,” I replied. “If we weren’t going to remove Saddam from power, why invade any more than necessary to liberate Kuwait, which was originally occupied because of our stupidity. If we just wanted to restore the Emir, we didn’t need to occupy a third of Iraq. If it was more than that, then we should have had either the Navy SEALs or the Delta Force take out Saddam and his two sons and then offered an olive branch to the generals.”

“So his treatment of the Kurds doesn’t matter?”

“Pardon my ‘What if?’ speculation, but he wouldn’t BE there to attack the Kurds if we’d done it my way and taken him out! Maybe somebody ELSE does it, but the entire history of the Middle East changes. Maybe for worse, but just maybe for better.”

“Or we should have taken Baghdad,” Eve declared. “Same end result as Steve’s, in that getting rid of Hussein changes the entire scenario. And it’s not like we haven’t engaged in ‘regime change’ before!”

“Spreading democracy one CIA-sponsored coup after another,” I said, shaking my head. “Or using the Army or Marines to effect regime change on behalf of corporations. Another fun fact from American history.”

“I think we’re off topic by a mile or two!” Deborah declared.

I shook my head, “Nothing is off topic for this meeting. It’s a free exchange of ideas. That said, usually we should focus on NIKA. But not always. I take it you have a different opinion?”

“I think your friend the Marshal and I agree - we have no business having military troops anywhere in the Middle East. Not now, and not in the past.”

“You aren’t going to get much of an argument from me,” I replied. “But the oil companies didn’t like the idea of Iraq taking back a province which was taken FROM Iraq to prevent them from having ‘too much oil’.”

“You think that was the cause?” Kimmy asked.

“George Bush was an oil man.”

“Who would have thought Steve Adams was a ‘no blood for oil’ liberal!” Elyse smirked.

“Steve Adams is a ‘no blood except to defend his family and friends, which at times might involve defending his country’ libertarian. I don’t want to fight any more than my friends in the Navy or Jesse’s friends in the Russian Army!”

“So, besides ‘Peace through Strength’,” Elyse grinned, “what’s our topic for today?”

“It’s a bit of a touchy subject,” I replied. “But Penny and Terry are dating.”

“Whoa!” Elyse gasped. “Didn’t see THAT one coming.”

“Strictly speaking, it’s a violation of policy, but I’m inclined not to interfere in any way. Once I hear your opinions, I’ll discuss it with Joyce and my dad.”

“If there were ever going to be an exception, this would have to be it,” Deborah said. “And it’s one which could easily be justified if someone were to make a request and have it denied. Did they ask you?”

“Penny told me. I’m not sure either of them would think they needed permission to restore their marriage.”

“And, actually, you can’t interfere with that without risking a very different set of issues,” Deborah said. “It’s complicated by their previous relationship and their kids. I’d say you have no choice but to allow it.”

I chuckled, “I had no intention of doing otherwise, but I wanted to hear opinions.”

“I’m with you, Steve,” Charlie said. “I simply don’t see how you could do otherwise in this situation. And as your pet lawyer would say, if she was inclined to use jargon, the fact pattern is unique and can’t be used as precedent.”

Deborah laughed, “Where did YOU pick up that technical jargon?”

“Clayton is working on a Master’s in Criminal Justice in night school. When he decides to get out, he’ll be in a prime spot for a career with the FBI. I’ve been helping him study.”

“How much longer does he plan to stay in?” Cindi asked.

“He’s completed his required service, so pretty much whenever he wants. He’ll most likely put in his retirement request when he finishes school, which will be in about two years. Of course, a new assignment could change that timing. And the Navy has ways of complicating things!”

“How long do you plan to take off when you have your baby?” Elyse asked.

“I’ll use the full maternity benefit. Clayton has quite a bit of accumulated leave, so he’ll take some time then as well.”

“Who’s going to manage in your place?” I asked.

“Debbie Jones with Heather Masterson as her backup.”

“Have you talked to Julia about that?”

“Yes. Debbie is on my succession-planning documents and Julia signed off on those.”

“Good. Back to Penny and Terry, unless one of you has anything else, I’ll speak to Joyce and my dad and let them know.”

There were head shakes from the ‘Kitchen Cabinet’.

“Then that’s it,” I said. “Cindi, stay for a moment, please.”

Kimmy, Elyse, Charlie, and Deborah left, leaving Cindi sitting with me on the «zaisu» chairs.

“Just checking in,” I said.

Cindi laughed, “You’ll get your reward! Don’t worry!”

I laughed, hard, “I thought it was the other way around!”

“You would!” she smirked.

“We’re back to that, now?” I grinned.

“Are you going to get permission?”

“Are you on drugs?”

Cindi laughed, “You’ve become pretty much ‘by-the-book’ at work, which I totally understand and in general don’t disagree with, so long as you aren’t inflexible.”

“I’m not THAT ‘by the book’!” I protested, thinking about Eve.

“We’ll find out how true that is next Summer!”

“Just stay off the sauce, Cindi.”

“I have good help. I’m spending time with Charlie and Clayton, as well as Jackie Phelan, plus hanging out at your house. It’s more my natural element.”

“Let me know if you need anything.”

Cindi smirked, “I’ll get you a very detailed list!”

“Get out of here!” I laughed.

Cindi left my office and I went back to my workstation. Penny walked into the office a few minutes later.

“Is the coast clear?” she asked.

“Thanks for giving me a bit of privacy. I wanted to let you know I need to let Joyce and my dad know about you and Terry dating.”

“He said you would do that.”

“You know I won’t interfere in any way, and I promise that there won’t be any issues. I want it to work, Penny.”

“Me, too,” she sighed.

September 6, 1996, Chicago, Illinois

“Welcome back!” I exclaimed when Leila, her husband, and two boys arrived at the house on Friday evening.

“Steve, this is my husband Bahadir, and these are our boys, Deniz and Oguz.”

Bahadir was very distinguished looking, and wore a banker’s uniform - a perfectly-tailored, European-cut suit. Leila was still as gorgeous as I remembered, and having two babies had not done any harm to her luscious curves. The two boys, the bigger one holding her hand, and the smaller one in her arm, were so cute, I knew my girls would go nuts over them.