Chapter 99: How Would You Know?

August 11, 1997, Rochester, Minnesota

“What are you thinking about?” Maria Cristina asked as we cuddled in the king-size hotel bed after making love, slowly and gently.

“The usual for me - life, the universe, and everything.”

“42!” she replied.

“At one point, I would have said something along the lines of wishing there was a simple answer, but now I realize the whole point of life is that there is no one answer to ‘life, the universe, and everything’. It’s the sheer diversity of thought that makes life interesting. And I love the fact that there are endless paths, each with detours and forks, creating other endless paths. It makes life a true adventure. And I’m blessed to have some wonderful traveling companions.”

“You’ve changed since I met you.”

“As have you.”

Maria Cristina laughed and slid her hand down to twirl her fingers in my pubic hair.

“I learned a VERY important secret!”

“What’s that?”

“That sex isn’t what I thought it was, and I’m actually very happy for that.”

“Care to explain?”

“Well, besides the obvious part about making babies, I always thought it was going to be something I did to show my husband that I loved him. You know, something I did for him. But that’s not really what it’s about. Saying I do it with you doesn’t even scratch the surface of what it expresses. The physical part is awesome, but it’s so much deeper than that. It’s not just an expression of love, but in some ways, it IS love.”

“They do call it ‘making love’,” I said.

“But that’s just it. You can’t ‘make’ love! It’s not a thing which some factory can turn out. It’s more like, I don’t know, a true joining of mind, body, and soul. And it could happen even without sex. It took me a long time to understand why cuddling made me feel SO good, without, you know, orgasms. I never realized just how emotional a physical relationship could be, if both people give their all. Or all three, I guess, with you, Jessica, and Kara.

“And that realization has helped me understand exactly who you are, well, as much as anyone can, perhaps besides your wives. But I think, after a fashion, I am one of your wives. And, for all intents and purposes, we’re married. I just felt you tense up, please don’t. I’m not saying that in the sense that I’m giving up the idea of a husband and children; I’m not. But there will come a day when you and I have what amounts to an amicable divorce.”

“I hadn’t even considered that,” I said.

“May I stick my nose into something which is truly none of my business?”

“I’m not sure there is such a thing, but go on.”

“You and Michelle had a divorce that was uglier than the one my parents had, and you don’t see it as a divorce.”

“Kara was right all along,” I said.

“About Michelle?”

“No. About you. You ARE the perfect person for the role you’re fulfilling.”

“And you like filling me, too!” she teased.

“If you don’t stop talking to Penny, I’m going to turn you over my knee!” I chuckled.

“Ooh, please! Yes!”

“And stop talking to Kara, too!”

“You love it and you know it!”

“I do. And I think you’re right. It was a marriage and a divorce. And, if we go with your line of thinking, you and I agreed on a proper pre-nuptial that took into account the end of the relationship. Michelle and I didn’t, because I didn’t realize we were marrying.”

“If you think about it, there was even a child custody issue.”

I took a deep breath and let it out.

“And now, we’re estranged spouses. Wow. I guess I knew that, but I just didn’t take the concept far enough.”

“I have another question, one you obviously don’t have to answer and which is also none of my business. Who were you with today?”

“How did you know?” I asked.

“It’s less obvious recently, but there was always a distinct change in your attitude. I didn’t know what caused it at first, and thought maybe it was variations in your diet, or your bipolar disorder. But then I noticed the pattern just from the little bit of information that’s available. Your daughter picks up on that, too.”

“If you’ve been talking to Birgit...” I said menacingly.

“Too late!” Maria Cristina laughed. “You actually had me talk to her to get her approval to consummate our marriage!”

“I guess I did!”

“Anyway, since you’ve been on your strict diet, it’s less obvious, but I can always see it in your eyes.”

“Does it upset you?”

“It bothered me a bit at first, but as you well know, I’m sleeping with a married man on a regular basis. And by that I mean legally and morally, not philosophically. So, no, it doesn’t upset me.”

“A girl from the Rap Sessions. It was a short-term thing.”

“A ‘random deflowering’ as opposed to a ‘dalliance’?”

I chuckled, “If you had said ‘dall-yance’ Birgit was going to be in serious trouble!”

Maria Cristina laughed, “Oh, please! She could NEVER be in trouble with you. Not really. She’d never do anything to give you cause to be angry with her.”

“Don’t be so sure!” I chuckled.

“Annoyed? Certainly. I see that with you and Jesse when you two go at it. But angry? I can’t imagine you ever being angry with one of your kids.”

“Probably not. It was a ‘random deflowering’, but with a repeat performance. There won’t be too many dalliances in the future, if any.”

“Liz?”

“That’s the one.”

“But virgins? You need to do what Elyse says - get regular doses of virginal blood?”

“They tend to come to me,” I said. “That’s been true since I was a teenager.”

“And who are you to deny them?” Maria Cristina teased.

“Well, you know...” I chuckled.

“There are very few red-blooded, heterosexual males who would turn down a pretty girl who offered her virginity. And speaking from experience, they’re making a good choice when they choose you.”

“Again, it doesn’t upset you?”

“It’s who you are, Steve. I accept that just as you accept me for who I am. I think our mutual desire is to help the other person along the path of life in any way we can. This,” she ran her finger over my flaccid shaft, “is a very, very nice bonus. But we could be exactly who we are without sex. That’s the thing I realized recently. Sex is the physical representation of the joining of our souls. But we’d be ‘one soul’ without being ‘one flesh’. That said, I prefer not to stop being ‘one flesh’ with you! At least not anytime soon. That day will come, soon enough, but it’s not here, and it’s not right around the corner.”

“That day will be both very happy and very sad,” I replied.

“No different from when your kids begin moving out of the house to start their own lives.”

“Very true. Am I meeting all your needs?”

“Physiological, safety, intimacy, self-esteem, and self-actualization? Yes! We’re working on transcendence!”

I chuckled, “Let me guess, you enjoyed your introductory psychology course.”

“I did. And I think the answer to the question is a resounding yes, Maslow notwithstanding.”

“Is there anything you want to change? Or do differently? Or add?”

Maria Cristina moved on top of me, crossed her arms, and rested her chin on them.

“You mean with regard to sex? Or in general?”

“In general, but IS there something in our sex life you would change?”

“To have you a bit more often, but I can’t take you away from Jessica and Kara. Otherwise, you know I’ll do anything you want at this point. We even made love in front of your wives and you made love to them in front of me!”

“And you’re OK with that?”

“As I said, it was strange at first, but then I forgot they were even there. I know Kara really enjoyed that and we can do that again, if you want.”

“I want YOU to be happy and fulfilled,” I said. “You can safely leave Kara and Jess to me.”

“I don’t feel obligated in any way. I wanted to do that for her, and for you. And I know you’re careful to not push me to do anything I don’t want to. You remember our first night?”

“It’s burned into my memory.”

“I asked you to do those things because I wanted to please you and wanted to do them with you. I know you think Kara pushed, but her advice was sound. And I think it was perfect.”

“Which is all that matters in the end.”

“You know her deepest fantasy, right?”

“I think so, yes - to see me deflower a virgin. But that’s a tough fantasy to fulfill, even for me!”

“Is it something you would do for her?”

“That’s a complicated question,” I replied after a moment’s thought. “I would have to be absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to hurt my relationship with Kara and Jess, that it wasn’t going to hurt the young woman in question, and that it wasn’t going to hurt me.”

“You?”

“You think I’m emotionless? That I have no feelings?”

“No! Of course not! I guess I just didn’t think about it that way. You’re right, of course. It could affect you in a negative way.”

“Let’s just say I wouldn’t reject the idea out of hand, but I’d exercise caution in a way I never have before.”

“That makes sense. Do you ever throw caution to the wind?”

“Sometimes, yes.”

“And if I had six friends who wanted to go to Saint Martin with you next Summer?”

“Samantha is on my list now!” I chuckled. “Penny. Kara. Birgit. Samantha!”

“Sorry, she made an offhand comment and I kind of put two-and-two together from some other things I’ve heard. Living with you means hearing all kinds of odd references to the past which eventually knit themselves into a pattern.”

“We’re pretty open about stuff.”

“I’ve had some good talks with Jennifer, too.”

“Penny. Kara. Birgit. Samantha. Jennifer!”

Maria Cristina laughed, “You’re so funny. All those women love you, and yes, I’m calling Birgit a woman because she is, even if she is, as you call her ‘pint size’.”

“Not for long!”

“No, not for long,” Maria Cristina agreed. “Do you mind if I make love to you? Lying naked on top of you has made me VERY horny!”

“I don’t mind at all!”

“Maybe, if you’re good, I’ll arrange for the trip to Saint Martin!”

She leaned down to kiss me before I could protest.

August 12, 1997, Rochester, Minnesota

“Stephen Mark Adams, Guinea Pig, reporting as ordered, Ma’am!”

“He’s insufferable, isn’t he?” Doctor Mary Whittaker said to Maria Cristina.

“I have to LIVE with him,” Maria Cristina replied, shaking her head.

“Nobody is holding a gun to your head,” I replied flatly.

“Ignore him,” Mary laughed. “He’s just cranky because we’re going to run a bunch of tests on him.”

“If by ‘a bunch’ you mean over a hundred, yeah, ‘a bunch’,” I groused.

“Doctor Mary, I tried VERY hard last night to keep him in a good mood. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it. He’s actually less cranky than I expected. Thank you!”

“Well, Doctor Frankenstein, what’s up first?”

“A physical, of course.”

“You just can’t wait to get your hands on me,” I smirked.

“I put my stethoscope in the freezer just for you, and I’ll dip my hands in ice water before the exam.”

“You’re a real sweetheart, Doc.”

“Maria Cristina? Would you assist?”

“Really? Not just stand and watch?”

“I know you aren’t officially a medical student, and won’t be for a few years, but the big idiot here won’t complain, and in fact, I suspect he agrees with this plan.”

“The big idiot does,” I replied flatly.

Both women washed their hands and donned blue latex gloves.

“Strip!” Mary said with a twinkle in her eye.

I did. Completely.

“Uhm, that’s not QUITE what I meant,” she declared.

“Just following doctor’s orders!”

“Put your toy away.”

I pulled on my briefs and got onto the exam table. Mary did the usual checks - eyes, ears, nose, throat, breathing, heart, muscle tone, distal pulse, and hernia check, allowing Maria Cristina to try each one, and explaining what she should be looking for, from polyps in the nose to weak distal pulse in the ankles.

“Healthy as a horse,” Mary said, then paused for a beat. “But not hung like one!”

“You wound me, Madam!” I countered.

“I think he’s pretty big,” Maria Cristina said with a smirk.

I crossed my arms and smiled smugly.

“Now look what you did,” Mary said, shaking her head. “We’ll NEVER get his swelled head through the door of the exam room!”

“My other swelled head had no trouble getting through your ‘doors’,” I teased.

Both women laughed.

“Steve,” Mary said, soberly, “when we leave the room, this kind of teasing can’t happen. I’d get in serious trouble with the Attendings and the Department Head.”

“I’m not completely clueless, Doc, but thank you for the reminder.”

“And Maria Cristina, you can only watch. I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be! I just gave my first physical. Well, besides the other times I’ve thoroughly checked out his body!”

“Steve, put on the gown. We’re going to get some blood drawn, then do an EKG, EEG, and an MRI.”

“Goody, goody, gumdrops.”

“You’ll need to fast from after dinner tonight so we can do the glucose tolerance and epi tests tomorrow.”

“Oh, joy.”

“Just be glad I’m not telling you to abstain from sex!”

“Good luck with that!” Maria Cristina teased.

“Except he would,” Mary said. “If I insisted that was necessary as part of the testing battery.”

“I think you might be right,” Maria Cristina replied.

“Don’t count on it!” I growled.

“I think Kara’s Snuggle Bear is turning into a Grizzly Bear!” Maria Cristina teased.

“I can get ‘bare’ again if you want.”

“Put on the gown so we can go to the phlebotomy lab,” Mary said with a smile.

Five hours later the three of us, Doctor Ross, and Doctor Alston met in the cafeteria for lunch. Other than the annoyance of having to lie perfectly still for an extended period for the full-body MRI, the testing had gone quickly and smoothly. I wouldn’t have full results for some time, but the MRI detected no strange masses or growths, the EKG was what the technician called ‘textbook perfect’, and the EEG showed I was, as Mary put it, legally brain-dead. Or, as the technician had put it, ‘no obvious anomalies’.

After lunch, I had a full cardiac stress test, followed by a cognitive abilities test, and a psych eval. As I said to the Psych Resident, nobody I knew would dispute the fact that I was certifiable, but I was functioning, so he couldn’t have me locked up. He laughed, and we had a pretty good chat, though I struggled to refrain from giving smart-ass answers to some of his questions. I could have had SO much fun with the word association test, but played it straight.

At the end of the day, Mary joined Maria Cristina and me for dinner, and we went to see Men in Black at the local theater.

August 15, 1997, Rochester, Minnesota

“I believe we’re done,” Mary said about 3:00pm on Friday.

“One more needle and I was going to take a hostage and demand a plane to Cuba!”

“Because you and Castro see eye to eye on SO many things,” Maria Cristina said, rolling her eyes.

“I may have to rethink my hostage-taking and escape plans,” I said thoughtfully. “Any ideas about my situation, Doc?”

“We’ll see what the collated data tells us, but to be honest, right now, I’d say all we’ve done is plot a better set of baselines for next year. Sorry.”

“We both knew that was the likely outcome. You’re probably more frustrated than I am.”

“I am. This is driving me nuts.”

“It’s a short drive, Doc,” I grinned.

“Take him home, Maria Cristina!” Mary ordered.

“I love you, Doc, you know that.”

“I know. I do have one bit of good news for you.”

“What?”

“I want you to try 25 grams of carbs a day. That’s over and above the few hidden carbs in your broccoli and other approved foods. And, once every two weeks, you can have a half-portion of dessert.”

“You’ll write that out on your prescription pad and sign it? And call Jess and tell her?”

“Yes. But remember, I said try. If the emotional swings, the syncope, or anything else arises, you go back to zero and call me. Maria Cristina, you have custody of him, so you help make sure.”

“Will do!”

“Great,” I groused. “ANOTHER jailer!”

“Assuming for the moment you are a prisoner,” Mary replied, “how many inmates get to have sex with their guards? Their sexy, beautiful guards?”

“Gives a whole new meaning to the prison slang for a guard - ‘screw’!” I grinned.

“On THAT note, take him out of here, please!”

We stood, I hugged Mary and we exchanged a quick peck, and then she and Maria Cristina hugged. I grabbed our bags and we headed to the car that was waiting to take us to the airport. The driver took the bags and put them in the trunk, then held the door so Maria Cristina and I could get in. He got in, verified we were going to the airport, then pulled away from the curb.

“Did you enjoy the trip?” I asked.

“You mean playing doctor? Or ‘playing doctor’?” she asked with a silly smile.

“Both.”

“Having you for four nights was just awesome, spending time with Doctor Mary was fun, and the doctor part was just amazing. I’m going to be so far ahead of anyone in medical school! It’s a real advantage. Doctor Mary did coach me on how to present it so nobody gets in any trouble.”

“Don’t even get me started on the medical community and their views on training physicians.”

“Oh, I know. I’ve heard you, and Jessica, and Doctor Mary, and Doctors Sofia, Alejandra, and Gina! What I don’t understand is if everyone thinks it’s broken, why they don’t fix it.”

“The problem is that not everyone thinks it’s broken to the same degree, and nobody can change anything unless everyone changes because of the Match and the Residency rules.”

“That’s just dumb!”

“You’re preaching to the choir. I was saying stuff like that to Al Barton back in 1985 when you were seven!”

My cell phone rang, interrupting Maria Cristina’s response just as she was about to give it. I didn’t recognize the number, but answered anyway.

“Steve Adams.”

“You’re an uncle again!” Brian exclaimed. “Benjamin Brian Frost and mom are doing great!”

“Excellent! Congratulations. Tell Samantha I love her, and I’m very happy for all three of you!”

“Thanks! I’ll see you at breakfast in a couple of weeks. I’ve been given orders to stay home.”

“Samantha?”

“No! The Commander!”

“I knew naval officers were smart!” I chuckled. “See you in a few weeks!”

We said ‘goodbye’ and I disconnected the call.

“Benjamin Brian Frost,” I said.

“Jesse will be very happy! Another boy for his posse!”

“Just wait about three years and his tune will change big time! And if you thought the house was a circus before, just wait until we have several teenagers!”

“You’ll love it!”

“Oh, I will, but it’s going to be a VERY interesting ride.”

August 16, 1997, Chicago, Illinois

“Miyu?” I said in surprise, as I walked into the dojo on Saturday morning.

“Yes. You remember me?”

“I do. How are you?”

“OK. Do you have a minute to talk?”

“Sure.”

Kara took the girls with her into the dojo and because Sensei Jim was in his office, I took Miyu to the second practice room for some privacy.

“How can I help you?”

“Mitsuko and Neil convinced me I should come talk to you.”

“I’m glad you’re talking to your sister again. How is she?”

“Pregnant! I thought you guys kept in touch.”