Chapter 9: Forever

She wanted a ceremony which would say ‘permanent’ to Craig, and he asked her to accompany him to church. The building looked incredibly impressive, though the congregation didn’t begin to fill it. The service ended with communion, and the preacher -- an Oriental woman -- emphasized that it was open to all. When Craig got up and held out his hand, she got up with him. After church, when the preacher shook hands with those who were leaving, Craig asked for an evening appointment to discuss her conducting their wedding. Immediately, she took them back to her office to see her appointment book.

“We require several talks with those who are going to get married. Would next Thursday be all right?”

They settled on this, and she told them that the first discussion would be on finances.

She and Craig finished up their discussion of budget, and Craig produced a remarkable spreadsheet. He handed it to the preacher after she turned the question to finance. The first few minutes were spent with her getting down the details. Al blushed when she and Craig gave the same address, but the preacher didn’t turn a hair.

She was impressed, though, by Craig’s spreadsheet.

“I’ve put the annual column in bold,” Craig said. “That’s the important one.”

“Well, what are the other ones?” the preacher asked.

“This is a special budget. We plan to make our budgets from August 1st to July 31st. I get a raise starting in August every year. Anyway, this year we need more than that, so we have the 16 months starting in April as the next column. That has all the wedding expenses budgeted in it. Then the monthly costs are only bills that come once a month. The weekly costs are those we’ll spend once a week. They are both represented in the annual and 16-month columns.”

“You’re very organized. What is this ‘sigder’?”

That’s an ampersand instead of a G. That’s short for ‘Savings, Interest, and Debt Reduction.’ It may not look sensible to put money into retirement savings when you still have student debt. My employer, though, matches contributions to the 401 (k) sort of. It changes the advantages to lean that way. I got used to budgeting an amount per pay period to pay interest on my student debt and to reduce the principal. It’s the same way you deal with a standard mortgage, You don’t pay less as the principal goes down; you pay less interest and more on principal.”

She complimented them on the thoroughness of the budget.

“It’s part of our marriage agreement that we should have a budget annually,” Al said. She felt that she had contributed very little to the discussion. It was really Craig’s budget, though he’d asked her approval of each step. All she could really tell was that 1) they were saving a higher share of income than she could imagine, and 2) she was scheduled to spend more money on herself than she had ever before, if you don’t count college tuition -- which she didn’t count, and which was spent on her but not by her.

“Oh,” the preacher-woman said, “I would love to see that.”

“That’s a definite maybe,” said Craig. “I’m not really revealing any secrets when I say that one of the clauses says that we don’t show it to anybody else unless both of us agree.”

“Well, I would love to see it. Anyway, the next session is primarily about sex.”

“I’ve read that most arguments in marriages are about money or sex,” Craig said.

They were really going to do it. Craig asked if they could tell their families now. She agreed.

Deb was impressed with Craig, but not surprised. Then they were going to tell his parents and sister.

Al was nervous about that. Craig -- wouldn’t you know it? -- wanted to introduce her to his family via Skype. They rehearsed it once, and she thought he was being overly dramatic. But, after all, she was depending on his family to keep him loyal.

He arranged sessions, by text, when everybody would be available and not engaged in something else. He was doing it in two sessions, and she didn’t know whether this was his choice or the limits of the technology.

She started off-camera and dressed in her respectable dress. She could see the screen, though.

The only framed picture that Craig had showing any adult showed a pretty young woman and an awkward young man on their wedding day. It was an old photo, redone for an anniversary more than a decade ago, but that was her mental image of his parents.

The couple on the screen looked only a little like them. The man was no longer awkward, and even less young. The woman had smile lines graven on her face. She knew Craig’s mother taught History in a high school, and she suddenly thought that she would have liked being in her class.

“Mom, Dad,” Craig said, “I would like you to meet...” He swept the camera to her. “Alicia Ortega, a teacher and...” He walked over, put his arm around her, and lifted her left arm until the ring pointed at the camera. “my fiancee.”

They were nice to her. She explained that she was only a pre-K teacher. Mrs. Warren said that that was the most important age.

Mr. Warren said, “Welcome to the family.”

Craig said that they hadn’t set the date, but they were thinking of April. It was all good wishes until they shut down the call. Then it was time to call Denver.

Craig got himself and the camera back in position. The family on screen were dressed quite differently from one another. The man was dressed for the office. The woman wore the sort of housedress that you saw in catalogs. The two kids were in jeans.

Craig went through the same drama, but omitted her being a teacher.

“Craig!” screamed Heather, “you didn’t tell me.”

“I am telling you. I didn’t consult you.”

“Miss Ortega,” Sharon began.

“I’m going to be your aunt, Sharon,” Al said. “I have a niece of my own, and she calls me ‘Aunt Al.’ Would you like to call me the same?”

“Yes, Aunt Al.”

“And, since I’m going to be your aunt, I’ll tell you when questions are inappropriate.”

Heather laughed. “Em-yawb,” she said. Al must have shown her confusion. “Mind Your Own Business. Not you,” she pointed somewhere to Craig’s left, the other side from Al. “her.” She pointed at Sharon.

“My mother,” Sharon said prissily, “tells me that it is not polite to point.”

“Your mother,” Heather said, “also tells you that 15 is not too old to spank.”

“I’ll hold her down,” Teddy said. It was his first contribution to the conversation, if it could be called a contribution. Everybody ignored it, even Sharon.

“If, despite this introduction, you decide to invite us to the wedding,” Theo asked. “When and where?”

“We’re already talking to the pastor at our local UMC,” Craig said. “As to when, we have to consult others. Alicia’s Dad is Regular Army, and we’re not sure when he can get off.”

“And of course we want you,” Al said. As far as she was concerned, being married 15 years made up for worse faults than snippy teens.

“Alicia teaches pre-school,” Craig said. “She’s used to chaos.”

“You teach four-year-olds?” Heather said, “Alicia, you’ll really understand Craig.”

“Look, I love having Craig call me ‘Alicia.’ It’s the name on my birth certificate. I’d rather you’d just call me ‘Al,’ though. Everybody does.”

“That’s ‘Aunt Al’ in two cases,” Heather said.

They closed out.

“I didn’t know that’s why you were putting off setting a date,” she told Craig.

“Darling! I’m sorry. I just assumed. You know what they say about that?”

“Well, this time it just makes you a nice guy.”

“Don’t you want him to walk you down the aisle?” he asked.

“That would be great.”

“Want him in uniform?”

“Would he?” she asked.

“Well, he’s damned impressive in uniform. For his favorite daughter, I think he would.”

“And, since we’re on that subject,” he continued, “do you want me in my suit or in a tux?”

“Hey, why not a tux?”

Their wedding was becoming fancier by the minute.

Al called Dad on his cell.

“You busy?” she asked.

“I’m fine.”

“Sitting down?”

“Am now.”

“Craig and I are getting married,” she said, “and we’d like for you to give me away.”

“Alicia! That’s the best news I could hear.”

“We’re on the speaker phone,” said Craig. “We know you have commitments. Other guests have them, too, and would like a weekend. We were thinking of April, but we could push it later.”

“May I get back to you?”

“Certainly. Because of the church, Easter weekend would be a bad choice.”

“This is great news,” Dad said.

“I’m going to be paying some of the travel and hotel expenses. Should I pay yours?”

“Son, I’m an E9, and I haven’t paid child support for awhile. You may make more than I do, but I don’t have money problems. Fact is, I should be paying for the whole thing.”

Craig said, “You weren’t consulted. Would it be appropriate to wear your uniform to walk your daughter down the aisle?”

“I’ll wear my dress uniform. It’s been a while, I’ll see if it fits.”

Mom and her current husband would come, and she accepted the offer of the air fare and hotel room. Mike and Amanda would come and pay their own way. Gwen couldn’t (or couldn’t be bothered to) come.

Sasha would be her maid of honor, and only bridesmaid. Craig had a guy at work, Steve, who would be his best man.

Dad e-mailed suggesting the 7th or the 8th.

Craig still hadn’t brought up any new positions. She had the book, though, and she looked for what might turn both of them on. He had from the beginning liked her butt, and she’d liked his hand there. It looked like a good experiment. And she wouldn’t have to discuss it.

“My john time first,” she said to Craig that Saturday night. She often used it first, but her announcement was almost certain to bring him right after her. So it did that night.

She wore the warm robe he’d given her but one of the baby-doll nighties. She knelt on his side of the bed with her back to the door, and when she heard it open, she flung the robe up and over her head. She looked out between her spread legs.

The sight of his face made the whole thing worth while.

“Oh, Alicia!” He closed the door behind him and stripped off his robe while striding towards her. By the time the robe was all the way off, he was completely erect.

He fondled her left breast, and cupped her from behind. Before he even touched her clit, she was on fire.

“Craig!” she said. He came behind her.

“Drop your head.” When she did, she could see him enter her. It felt that he’d plumbed new depths. He played with both her breasts for a minute, and she began to move.

He grabbed her hips, drew back, and drove into her. The strokes felt somehow different, but the heat was familiar.

She burst into flames.

“God! Woman!” He pushed her forward, pulled her back while slamming into her, and pulsed all along his length.

He sank over her, enveloping her, but pulling out.

Getting actually in bed took a little work, but it left the wet spot on his side.

“You are a marvelous woman,” he said. “Did you get enough?”

“Sure.” She liked that he regarded her climaxes as necessary, but one was enough from an experience like that.

They were coming up on their next appointment with the preacher.

“Do we really want to share the document with the pastor?” Craig asked about The Agreement.

“Well, we haven’t really finished it have we?”

“Share or not, we should do that. Do you have what you did on your computer? Could I have a copy on the flash drive?”

“Sure,” Al said.

He gave her the flash drive, and she downloaded his version, clearly out of date, and uploaded hers.

They worked separately, and then came together with hard copy. They had only a few substantive conflicts.

“So, now that I won’t bring up marriage again, I’m limited in bringing up children?” Craig asked.

“Well, I didn’t think you would bring up children under the first Agreement. Look, do you want to have it that you can bring up both topics every month?”

“Yes. They are very different issues. After all, having intercourse during your period isn’t going to make you pregnant.”

“Well,” she admitted, “I put that ‘either one’ in there to take it out so I would have a concession for you.”

The final Agreement looked like this:

| Craig and Alicia agree:
|
| 1) This is not legally binding, and they shall not show it to
| any third party unless they mutually agree.
|
| 2) This agreement covers the entirety of their marriage
| as long as they both shall live. Any change must be agreed to
| voluntarily by both parties.
|
| 3) The income and economic assets of the two parties will be
| treated as joint.
| A) They shall establish and maintain a joint bank account.
| As far as is legally possible, investments and retirement
| accounts will be in the name of both.
| B) When A is not practicable, the other party shall be beneficiary
| or other designation of the account.
| C) They shall purchase life insurance, and the other party shall
| be beneficiary of each party’s insurance.
|. 1) In case the couple has children, those may also be
| beneficiaries.
| D) Such property as clothes, computers, books, etc., is assigned
| to one person, but is assumed to be available to the other as
| need arises.
| E) The two will agree on a budget once a year, in August if there
| is no reason for another time.
|. 1) The budget will include equal discretionary funds for
| each party.
|. 2) The budget will include a contingency fund of at
| least 5% of planned outlays.
|. 3) The budget will include ample allowance for saving
| and reduction of debt.
|. 4) The budget will be to enable the couple to achieve its
| goals, not to restrict them.
|
| 4) The obligations fall on each
| party individually, not conditional on the other party’s
| performance of his or her obligations. When one party is
| unable to perform due to a physical or other reason, the
| other party is still obliged to perform any duties that
| are not removed by the first party’s disability.
|
| 5) Location:
| It is the intention of the parties to live together.
| A) They may mutually agree to vacation together for a period and at a location
| to which they mutually agree.
| B) Except for the times specified above, the location of their living together
| shall be the same residence where they currently live.
| C) They may mutually agree on another location. In that case,
|B shall apply to the new address.
| D) If action of nature, of the landlord, or of any other third party
| make the residence uninhabitable, the parties mutually, or either if
| the other is not available, will find another location -- one, if possible,
| where they can live together.
| E) It is the intent of the two parties to share one bed. When medical
| or other contingencies prevent this, the exception will not constitute
| a precedent for the later pattern.
|
| 6) Repute: Craig undertakes to refrain from describing Alicia’s sexual actions,
| attributes, appearance, or behavior. Nor shall he mention or imply to a third
| party his own level of sexual satisfaction. He may describe Alicia as pretty,
| attractive, trim, or words to that effect. He may not describe her body or her curves.
|
| 7) Sex: It is the intent of the parties to satisfy each other
| sexually and exclusively.
| A) Craig undertakes to satisfy Alicia’s sexual desires.
|. 1) He shall give her at least one orgasm a night on nights
| when they are both present.
|. 2) He shall bring her to satisfaction with as many or as
| intense orgasms as shall satisfy them both on at least one night
| (or, when mutually agreed upon, day) a weekend.
|. 3) Weekends begin with the end of work Friday night, and end
| at sundown Sunday night.
|. 4) He may satisfy this clause with his mouth, the vibrator,
| or his fingers when he does not have an erection.
|. 5) When Craig does have an erection, he must engage in vaginal
| intercourse within an hour of Alicia’s demanding it.
| B) Alicia undertakes to satisfy a reasonable amount of Craig’s sexual
| desires.
|. 1) The parties agree that Craig’s desires regularly overmatch his
| ability to perform, that this is Craig’s problem, and it does not
| reflect on Alicia’s fulfillment of this clause.
|. 2) Alicia will make herself available for intercourse every night
| when they are both in the apartment except during her menstrual periods.
| By mutual agreement, an afternoon may be substituted for a night.
|. 3) The method and frequency of her satisfying him during her menstrual
| period is Alicia’s choice.
|. 4) What Craig does to deal with his desire when Alicia does not choose
| to do so is his choice, but it will not involve a third party being present.
|. 5) Once, but only once, in every menstrual cycle, Craig may propose to
| Alicia that they have sex during her cycle and once that they consider
| having children.
| C) Variety:
|. 1) When Craig wishes to institute something new into their sexual practice
| he will give Alicia notice, not later than the initiation of foreplay in bed.
| She may then refuse.
|. 2) Alicia has the right to redefine anything previously done except for
| the missionary position and cunnilingus as “new” for the purposes of this
| clause. She must do so one hour before the definition takes effect.
|. 3) When she wishes, Alicia may institute any new position or
| activity that does not physically harm either of them.
|. 4) Craig will describe new positions and activities which he finds
| desirable on a mutually-agreed schedule.
| D) Each party will avoid masturbation when the other party is available.
|. 1) Masturbation when the other party is not available or not expected
| to be available is acceptable.
|. 2) Except when one party engages in it in the mistaken expectation of
| the other party not being available, masturbation need not be reported to the
| other party.
|. 3) If either party brings himself or herself to climax with the other
| party looking on or listening in, that is not
| masturbation but an act of mutual sex.
|
| 8) Faithfulness: The parties intend and undertake to keep sexual activity
| within their relationship.
| A) Neither will have sex with anyone but the other party.
| B) They will restrict displays of affection such as kisses and hugs.
|. 1) To the other party, young children, and such close family as
| actual sex would be construed as incest and their spouses.
|. 2) Friends of the same sex in the case of Alicia.
| C) Neither will date or engage in social relations with individuals
| aside from the other party.
|. 1) In the case of ambiguous situations (such as lunch with a superior),
| the party who participates will inform the other party within 24 hours of the
| beginning of the ambiguous situation.
|. 2) Larger group social events are not restricted, but they should be reported
| to the other party. Regular ones need merely be described as regular once.
| D) Neither party will expose his or her body to others.
|. 1) Medical care or examination is excepted.
|. 2) So is changing clothes in a one-sex area where that is normal.
|. 3) So is urination, in Craig’s case, in rest rooms where such exposure
| is normal.
| E) Each party will avoid masturbation when the other party is available.
|. 1) Masturbation when the other party is not available or not expected
| to be is acceptable.
|. 2) Except when one party engages in it in the mistaken expectation of | the other party not being available, masturbation need not be reported to the | other party.
|. 3) If Alicia brings herself to climax with Craig looking on, that is not
| masturbation but an act of mutual sex.
| F) Expression of love of mankind or of any group is acceptable. Expression
| or love of any adult individual of the other sex -- barring a party to this
| agreement or a close relative -- is not.
|
| 9) Health and Safety:
| Each party owes the other to keep himself or herself healthy and safe. Therefore:
| A) Each person shall have medical and dental exams at least yearly.
| B) Each person shall submit their car to an examination by a qualified
| mechanic yearly and when a problem becomes apparent.
| C) When either exam results in advice for repair or treatment, if the
| party does not follow the advice, he or she must report the rejection
| the other party.
|
| 10) Openness:
| If either party breaks this agreement, that party has an obligation to report this
| violation to the other in a timely manner.
| A) When they are in the same place, “timely” means within 48 hours.
| B) When such communication is prevented by the physical incapacitation of one or
| the other, “timely” means within 48 hours of that incapacitation being removed.
| C) When the violation is arguable, then the report still must be made. Argue it.
| D) Failure to so report is itself a violation.
|
| 11) Contraception is under the responsibility and authority of Alicia.
| A) When she knows or suspects that she is unable to guarantee effective
| contraception, she has the authority for requiring Craig to practice contraception.
| B) Alicia has the responsibility for notifying Craig with a reasonable lead time.
| C) Alicia may opt out of contraception.
|. 1) When pregnancy results from this option, Alicia will carry the
| child to term unless medical advice insists otherwise.
|. 2) Alicia does not have this option less than 9 months after the birth
| of a previous child.
| D) Any child born to Alicia is a child of both parties, and is
| the responsibility and under the authority of each of them.
|
| 12) Consequences:
| If one party violates this agreement, the agreement is not necessarily void.
| The party who did not violate the agreement has the right to decide consequences
| and to impose conditions on the continuation of the agreement.
|
| 13) Contingency:
| In the event of something arising in the course of the marriage which is not
| foreseen in this agreement, it will be resolved in the spirit of this agreement.
|