I purely don’t want any readers to think I am either feeble-minded or one of those “If it ain’t in Texas, it just don’t matter” fellas that thinks the sun rises and falls in Texas and the devil take the hindmost.
If the truth be known, the entire half of relatives on my mama’s side all came from Arkansas, but we don’t really bring that subject up much a-tall down here in Austin. No, just like everyone else in the vicinity, it is all Texas this, and Texas that, and there ain’t no other locality that can hold a candle to the Lone Star State.
I would be lying to you if I tried to impress you with how open-minded I am about such foolishness, but I was probably the only Austin Crawford that had been to so many other States.
One of the places I went to real regular like was up to Oklahoma to see my baby sister that had married a preacher assigned to the Indian Reservation up there to run the government operation and try to look after the mortal souls of those vicious savages that lost all vestiges of civilization every now and then and jumped the reservation to create havoc in the civilian community.
I have to admit between you and me, it was my baby sister that introduced me to the art of a female using her mouth to help a fella out when he was all stressed up with the need for female companionship. What with her marrying a signed, sealed and delivered religious nut, it was hard to conceive, but she was real skillful in that area and kept me happy for most of my later teenaged years.
We never did any real sex like they say don’t do with your sister or your mama in the good book but she never hesitated to get down on her knees and make me smile for hours just remembering how good she made me feel with her talented tongue.
I wondered how she got the reverend to pop the question because he a reputation of living by the straight and narrow in all things but especially with regard to the conduct of females in a domestic environment. I suspected he had a broad leather belt that he used on my sister when she started to stray and it was the guiding light she needed to help her find her way.
Anyway, now she had four young ones and they were evenly divided with two girls and two boys. Strangely, the two boys looked just like the four-eyed father and the two girls looked just my baby sister Sue.
Sue was married to the reverend Waygood Markus a little over sixteen years now and her oldest child, a pretty little thing called Sue Ellen was fixing to graduate from Tulsa United High later that year despite the fact she was obviously carrying a child of her own much to the embarrassment of the preacher man, reverend Waygood.
I have to admit that I had been carrying a torch for my pretty baby sister ever since she was my close companion in the bunkhouse behind our house down in Austin. In a way, I thought I was doing a good thing letting her use her pretty mouth and talented tongue on me in the middle of the night because it was a way to keep her from fooling around with those female loving hound dogs that loved to shove their noses up young girl’s dresses to see if they were wearing panties.
Between you and me, I didn’t hold with the womenfolk having anything to do with the animal world. That was one of the reasons why I never could get overly friendly with any dog in residence, no matter how cute or how loyal they were to humankind. It irritated me no end to see one of the brutes mounting some ignorant young pussy like she was one of the bitches that ran in circles just to get the males all excited and chasing her right down the street.
Young Sue Ellen was almost seventeen now and she was the spitting image of her ma when she was the same age back in that bunkhouse in Austin, Texas. The sight of her rounded belly made me a bit pee-turbed and I knew it must have caused her a red ass more than one night since she started showing.
My sister and my pompous Brother-in-law told me confidentially that she wouldn’t divulge the name of the culprit that had seeded her but at least it couldn’t have been one of the dogs.
She was sitting on the swing behind the church when I sat down with my coffee spiked with some of Tulsa’s finest white lightning on the lazy Sunday afternoon when all the church-going folks were down by the creek watching the “born-agains” getting dunked in the muddy water like a bunch of dang fools with one hand on their pecker and the other on the Good Book just to show they were well-intentioned as a future member of the church.
“Hey, Uncle Billy-Bob, mama told me you used to swing her back home in Texas.”
I looked at Sue-Ellen and all I could see was Sue down on her knees in the bunkhouse doing her thing to beat the band. I had to wonder if this pretty young thing knew she was in a world of trouble what with having a baby and just being barely old enough to drive a car. In fact, it would be another year before she could buy a drink or vote in Tulsa according to her choice.
“That be a fact, Sue-Ellen, we was terrible close in those days and she was my favorite sister because all the others were too stuck-up to stay too close to home.”
It was hard to believe the girl was so bright and intelligent and yet she had allowed herself to get caught up in the sins of the world in such a typical way for a rural area. I figured she was itching to tell me something so I had the common sense to keep my mouth shut until it all came out because I knew she was just like her mother and she was always a right talkative little bitch if the truth be known loud and clear.
“Oh, Uncle Billy-Bob, I didn’t get this baby by being a bad girl. It was papa’s son by his first unfortunate marriage that did it to me. I didn’t even get to see his pecker because he did it from behind with me over the top rail of the fence out in the south pasture. In fact, it hurt real bad but he made me swear not to tell the reverend because he wants to go to the seminary school and be a preacher like his daddy.”
Well, she had solved that mystery real quick-like and now I had to decide if I should tell my sister or keep it to myself like Sue-Ellen wanted.
I decided that I would take it to the reverend’s first wife, a real nasty piece of work living on the other side of the tracks just north of downtown Tulsa.
Her name was Candy!