Saturday morning Jamie and Andrew walked to the new café in town. A few sips into their coffee, Jamie asked Andrew if he thought it would be too piggy to have a raspberry croissant. “If you give me a bite,” Andrew said. “Sure, I’ll be happy to bite you,” Jamie said, adding, “Where might you prefer to be bitten?” Andrew chuckled. “Well...” he started to say, when he noticed a hefty woman with an even heftier behind attempting to exit the café’s revolving door. They couldn’t help overhearing the conversation at a neighboring table. “Lookit the ass on her,” one teen boy remarked. “Hey, I’d pork her,” his companion offered. The first teen’s attempt at a squeal came out lame yet shrill.

Jamie and Andrew frowned at each other. Jamie decided not to order the croissant, but Andrew got one for her regardless.

“Funny croissant,” Jamie whispered. “It looks a little like a penis—a leaking penis.”

“Then you’d better snarf it down,” Drew told her.

On the walk home, Jamie said, “So if I got all fat and stuff, would you still want to pork me?”

“Of course,” Andrew said.

“Wrong answer,” Jamie said. “You’re supposed to say, ‘You’re not fat and you never will be.’”

“Right,” Drew said. “You’re not fat and you never will be.”

Jamie embraced him, never mind that they were in the middle of the street. The cars at the intersection waited patiently for them to cross.

The kiss at last concluded, Jamie, just before turning to race home, said, “If you can catch me you can pork me. You can pork that raspberry croissant right outta my ass.”

Drew caught her before she’d gone two steps, lifted her into his arms, and the kissing continued all the way home.