Chapter 14: The ‘Normal’ World

Amanda sat with Joan at the high-top table next to the bar. She asked, “Are there some significant pairings in the Circle? Aren’t some of the people here actually married? I kind of recall meeting several couples when I was here the last time.”

Dave nodded, “Yes, but our pairings are unique and not in keeping with the expectations of someone from the outside, such as yourself. The main reason is the omission of possessiveness from the relationship equation. Carry that a step further, and eliminate exclusivity and monogamy, and you have the base of the Circle.” He gestured to the group and the homes.

He continued, “About five years ago, I felt a resonance with the idea of equality with my spouse, I just didn’t see how to implement it. We were in the process of loosening up – getting rid of some old boundaries, and exploring where we wanted the new ones to go, if we kept any of them.

“Alice got there before I did. Pam entered out lives, and we both fell in love with her. Alice encouraged me to make love to Pam. At first, I was confused, and sometimes evaluated that encouragement on the basis of my old paradigms. Was Alice trying to get rid of me by pawning me off on Pam? Did she just want to screw around with other men? Was she really testing me about whether I loved her? Was this a test of my fidelity or other values? I went around and around on those kinds of questions, but they were all based on an old relationship model.

“We talked about my worries and developed a new model for our behavior. We knew we loved some of the other people in our neighborhood and some friends, and we wanted to complete our love with them by adding making love to the relationships. They were already over that hurdle, but we were loosening up in order to catch up and join them. When we did the world got really special for us.”

“Consequently, I don’t ‘control’ Alice or any of my wives any more than I control you or you control me. Someone doesn’t need my permission to talk to her or even date her. All that’s true even though her father ‘gave her to me’ at our wedding. That’s very outdated thinking.”

Amanda said, “But some women like to be dominated and controlled.”

Joan laughed, “The won’t fit in with this crowd unless it just part of some game playing or cosplay. The women here are pretty independent and strong. The men help them make themselves that way.”

“How?”

Joan turned to Dave, “Could I make love with Jack?”

Dave chuckled, “You could. You have my permission, but only on Tuesdays with full moons that are odd numbered days.”

Amanda laughed, “I think I get it. What’s a better way – informing?”

Joan stood and went to Dave, “I’m heading off with Jack unless you have a better offer.” She put her arms around him in a hug and kissed him.

“I do, my darling Joan.” He kissed her in what turned out to be a long and passionate kiss with some tongue.

When they broke apart Amanda was fanning herself with one hand. “I get it, but what about jealousy?”

Dave smiled, “Why bother? It’s a very dysfunctional emotion. Joan happily goes off with Jack, and I get MY nose out of joint? Who does that bother? Neither of them; they’re off making love. So, I stew about it and when I see her again, I accuse her of being a slut, being unfaithful, and all sorts of other ugly things. Well, that really makes her love me just heaps. Of course, if I light into Jack, he adopts the mode that he’ll avoid me at all costs and maybe avoid Joan, and that just pisses her off more about my attitude and actions. I have put myself in a downward spiral that results in further and further isolating myself from people that loved me. Carried to an extreme, saying I was married to her, I’d divorce Joan and lose her as a friend, confidant, and lover for the rest of my life. Where’s the justice in that? It’s very black and white thinking.”

“But she had sex with him,” Amanda countered.

“So what? Did he damage her? Leave marks on her? Warp her mind any more than usual?” he chuckled. “So, she falls in love with him. If I don’t give her a reason to fall OUT of love with me by my jealousy and other antics, then she can love both of us, and we can both love her. Seems to me, there’s suddenly more love in the world.”

“But wasn’t she unfaithful to you?”

“Me? To what? Alice and I renegotiated our marriage vows five years ago. Before that we’d even had the ‘honor and obey’ clause in the wedding ceremony on her part, but not on mine. Talk about equality; I’m ashamed to think about it. We now use the term ‘respect’ for each other. We each try not to disrespect the other person. If they are approving of our relationships with other people, then that’s not an issue. We are both faithful to the vows we more recently made to each other.

“Maybe of equal importance is that we established a process that includes all my partners where we talk about our lifestyle, our vows, the others we live with, and the shifts in what is important to us. For instance, recently we have added, with intensity I might add, creating a home atmosphere conducive to the healthy development of our children.”

“Won’t that get perturbed when they start to interact with the outside world and go to school?” Amanda asked.

Dave spoke carefully, “I hope we’re not doing them a disservice, but we are thinking about home schooling them inside the Circle. There are enough of them that we feel we have a critical mass of kids, plus the other parents feel that same way about how we live versus the outside world.”

“But that’s the ‘normal’ world,” Amanda argued.

“I guess in this case we don’t think that normal is good. Almost from the start it teaches that jealousy is how you respond to many situations, divorce is always an option, greed is good, sex is bad, the Golden Rule is optional, love is a zero-sum game, ownership of your spouse is acceptable, the male is dominant in a relationship, racism is good but you have to hide it, get your share before somebody else does, and on and on. That’s normal ... and it sucks.

“Further, the schools are increasingly a place for bullying, anger, and shootings that leave a trail of psychologically damaged kids and teens behind. If we school them ourselves, at least for most of their classes, we reduce that risk.

“If we’re going to put a stake in the ground and say that all those things have to change, then the Circle plans to be the place that starts those changes. Don’t worry, we’ll teach our children about the other stuff – the traditional stuff, but we want to put it in the context of there being other ways to live – that the outside world’s idea of ‘normal’ isn’t the only way.”

Amanda was taken back by Dave’s vehemence on the subject. She spoke, “Wow, I guess I found your hot button. What a good rant.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come across with so much intensity, but yes, you did. I think the world is fucked up but few people look at the causes and fewer still do anything about them. If the Circle turns out two dozen kids that can see the bigger picture, there’s hope that maybe one or two of them can make something happen to really improve things. I’m still trying. The Circle being here and even existing is part of our trying.”

Delivery of the mobile home to its resting place beside the hangar and near the rear gate to the Circle property required the demolition of about twenty trees at some of the corners en route, and the presence of a large crane capable of lifting the large ‘living box’ to help seat it on the pad prepared for its installation.

Doug and Pete moved into the unit the next day. Since the men had already been living in the unit outside of Asheville, they’d left most of their possessions in the unit and just wrapped and cushioned some of the more delicate items, such as televisions and stereos. Pete had driven his car down with a small U-Haul trailer behind his car, bringing the rest of the gear they thought important.

Doug had driven his car down the week before, almost as soon as the offer for accepted, and left it at the hangar. Another pilot picked him up and ferried him back to his home airport in North Carolina.

That Saturday, Doug arrived back at Circle Airport with the twin-engine Beech Baron just in time to see the mobile home lifted from the under-carriage that had transported it from North Carolina and to the concrete pad it would call home for a year or more until the two men could move into a home deeper into the property and on the Circle.

As the moving firm did the tie-downs, Doug went inside and checked the interior. When the unit was then secured with eight tie downs to huge concrete pilings in the ground so it wouldn’t blow away, a city building inspector declared the place livable and issued the CO for the home. Doug and Pete did a high five at the door to the home.

Dave said, “Why don’t the two of you come up and join us for dinner. Alice scheduled you two for dinner here with Bobbie, but if you want to eat someplace else just let me know.”

“NO!” both men protested. Doug continued, “We love Bobbie’s cooking. It’s like eating at a five-star restaurant every night. Of course, I’ve never even done that. I did a four-star once with a date I was really trying to impress.”

Dave laughed, “Did you?”

“She married me, but then realized she couldn’t put up with being a military wife. Overall, it was an expensive meal.” He laughed loudly at his own sick humor.

As the last of the trucks, inspectors, plumbers, electricians, and other helpers left the property, the men took some of the golf carts up to the Circle of homes.

Dave explained, “We have another guest for dinner – Amanda Tyler. She is Joan Paige’s friend, and is not to be hit on. She had a really bad ‘male experience’ recently, so just be your charming selves, but don’t put a full court press on to bed the pretty lady. Both men nodded in understanding.

The cocktail hour started and was punctuated by various cartloads of people driving down to the new mobile home to see it. Pete became the tour guide for the curious. All that ceased when a light rain began.

When dinner was served inside. Joan ended up beside Dave, and Amanda sat on the other side of the table between Doug and Pete. Dave laughed to himself, somehow thinking of Little Red Riding Hood sitting between two wolves, not that the men had ever been anything but gentlemen in every interaction with Circle members.

As Joan and Amanda asked questions of the two men, Dave filled in some of the holes left from the sketchy background that Ken had given him about the men.

Doug had grown up in North Carolina, the son of a farmer and ag pilot that serviced his own crops as well as some of his neighbors. Doug started to fly the crop duster, illegally he admitted, when he was fifteen so the family made some money on his dusting activities from local farms. He got his license a week after his eighteenth birthday and then got into an Air Force ROTC program. Just as he was about to go on active duty, his father died in a plane crash doing dusting. His mother decided to sell the farm, and she moved on with her life until she also passed away from natural causes three years later.

Doug had ended up in the same fighter-bomber wing in the USAF that Ken Toomey had been assigned to, and the two became buddies. Pete joined the same outfit just as Gulf 1 started. He was from Pennsylvania and crazy about flying. The three men were inseparable and racked up an enviable list of missions.

The three left the Air Force at the same time. Doug had an ‘in’ at one of the airports near where he grew up. The three men got their instructor’s ratings, and then set about making a career in aviation. Ken ended up in Florida, and more recently in the pilot’s seat of one of Atlantic Airline’s 737s. Joan commented that she was living in what had been Ken’s townhouse, and noted his absence from the Circle due to his flying duties.

Doug and Pete wanted to run an airport. The owners were selling the airport in North Carolina that they had been at to land developers, so the ‘in’ that Doug had was evaporating in a real estate deal. Sky Ranch, the airport up the road from the Circle, needed management and marketing to turn it around. This was the project the men lusted after.

Emily, who sat on the other side of Pete, talked to Pete mostly about how soon before they’d be able to give lessons again. She was chaffing at the bit to restart her lessons and get her license. Dave felt her enthusiasm, too. He commented that he, too, was anxious to complete his rating and start on the next one.

Pete said, “We’ll know more on Monday after we take stock of what’s already been scheduled for us. I suspect it’s not much, so you may have our undivided attention for a week or so as we let some of the past customers know the place is under new management and eager for business.”