Chapter 35: This Life ... And The Next

December 16, 1994, Oguni, Yamagata Prefecture, Japan

“And just how do you know that?” I asked with a smile.

She smiled, flexed her hips, and tightened her muscles, “From Grandmother.”

“Of course!” I grinned. “No, I’m not upset. I told Robert-san I fully expected that to happen. Specifically with Hideki, as that allows your son to become master of his great-grandfather’s school.”

Sakurako nodded, “That is why I agreed to the match. Well, I haven’t yet. He will ask formally on Monday, after you leave.”

“I’m staying until Thursday. For your grandfather.”

Her eyes went wide, “But...”

“Don’t worry. Hideki will ask when Hiroshi is here, and Hiroshi and your grandfather will give their blessing.”

“But that means...”

“Yes, and I’m OK with it. And you must be, too! You didn’t ask my permission, did you?”

“No. Should I have?”

“Of course not! That’s between you and Hideki, assuming your brother and grandfather agree. He only asked if I had a claim to you. I said I did not.”

She raised herself up, squeezing her muscles tightly around me, then settled down again.

“You’re truly OK with that.”

“I am. I love you, Sakurako; but you are your own person. You have your traditions and beliefs, and you need to honor them in the way you see fit. Besides, I think, after Monday, we will have something much larger to deal with.”

“Grandfather’s death.”

“Yes.”

“I will always love you, Steve-chan.”

“And I, you, Sakurako-chan. And, from Monday, I shall revere and respect you as the wife of my master, to whom I will pledge my loyalty and who I will promise to defend from all enemies. Call it ‘courtly love’ - the love of a Knight for his Lady.”

“You think I am a princess?” she asked with a smile.

“I do. Keep me always in your heart, but never allow that to interfere with your relationship with Hideki.”

She nodded, “I have had a very long talk with Grandmother about it. I am fully prepared.”

“Good. Do you feel as if you are cheating on him now?”

She shook her head, “Until he asks, formally, I am not his to command. Once he does, and I accept, then I am. But until then, I shall do as I wish.”

“And what is it you wish?” I asked.

“To give you ultimate pleasure,” she sighed, leaning down for a kiss.

December 17, 1994, Yama-dera Temple, Yamagata, Yamagata Prefecture, Japan

“Good morning, Steve.”

“Good morning, Yoshiro.”

“Come, let’s walk in the garden, then we’ll sit and have tea.”

I followed the saffron-robed monk into a garden, which because it was winter, was not as colorful as it had been. The temperature was around 3°C, and I wondered how he stayed warm in his robes, when I was wearing a jacket, though I was carrying my fedora, rather than wearing it, out of respect.

“So, what have you discovered since July?”

“How very little I know about myself and the world. But also how much I know about myself and the world.”

“It’s an interesting dichotomy, isn’t it?”

“The more you know, the more you realize just how much you don’t know.”

“Exactly. Are you at peace?”

“I’m certainly much more at peace than before the summer.”

“And so the clouds begin to part? Or the darkness lifts?”

“Let’s call it the first glimmer of light at dawn. Perhaps I’ll live to see the sun rise fully, or perhaps that is for the next life.”

“And you’re at peace with that idea now? I know it’s caused you intense struggles in your life.”

“I know that I cannot know,” I replied. “I admit I know nothing and yet some things have been revealed. That freeing my mind and being at peace allows me to peel back the layers of the onion that shroud reality.”

“Very wise, but very easy to say,” Yoshiro observed. “How has this actually impacted your life?”

“Not as much as it should have,” I said. “Call it a work in progress. I’m still learning about myself and my relationships with others.”

“Something we all must do until we pass into the next life, where we begin again, until we reach enlightenment. What is your plan?”

“For now? To focus on the truly important things. Knowledge of self, awareness of the world around me, those I love, and those who love me. To spend time in quiet contemplation. To practice ‘The Way’.”

“And your spiritual path?”

“Is shrouded in mist and fog. I can only see the next place to put my foot dimly, and each step must be careful.”

“And you have a guide?”

“Not yet. Life intervened to take me away from Chicago, but those trips have been important to my journey. I’ll find the right person when I return.”

“Remember, the right person is not someone who agrees with you on everything, but someone who will challenge you.”

“When I find the person who agrees with me on everything, I’ll be looking in a mirror!”

“I suspect, though, that you, like everyone, lose arguments with yourself.”

I chuckled, “I do, indeed. Fortunately, I’m winning the important ones; the ones where losing could cause me to veer from the path.”

“The Christian concept of sin?”

“The Orthodox one - missing the mark. Imperfection which can be corrected via proper spiritual effort combined with God’s love. But also the notion of bad karma, or acts which impede enlightenment. The concepts aren’t that far off, if one has an open mind.”

“Remember one important thing - not all ideas are of equal value. Some ideas are bad and must be called out as bad, even if saying so offends. Don’t fall prey to bad ideas which become popular.”

“Fads,” I asked.

“One example, yes. Generally, those aren’t dangerous, just distracting. But there are truly insidious ideas which can infect societies and drag them down.”

I nodded, “The destruction of the «kami» of America by those who reject individual freedom in favor of what amounts to serfdom.”

“Robert-san and I have spoken about that. Remember this, though, even under totalitarian governments, men of spirit are never, ever broken. Their bodies may be. Their minds may be. But their spirit never is. Be a Man of Spirit, Steve.”

He led me inside the temple building and we sat in a small alcove to drink hot tea which was waiting for us.

“«Shihan» Hiro will die soon,” I said. “Probably Tuesday.”

“And which spirit whispered this in your ear?”

“All evidence suggests he has two things left to do to complete this life. First, on Saturday, he will formally turn the school over to Hideki-san. I’ve already pledged to accept him as my master, as have the other senior members of the school. Second, Sakurako, Hiro-san’s granddaughter will be betrothed to Hideki, securing a future great-grandson of his bloodline to take over the school many years from now. Those two tasks completed, he will gather his students and his spirit will move to the next life.”

Yoshiro nodded, “Very perceptive.”

“I most likely won’t be back,” I said.

“That’s what you said last time,” Yoshiro said with what could almost be called a smirk.

“I know. This was only possible because of a business arrangement and an employee with a broken leg at the very last minute.”

“And, of course, nothing directs the universe, so all of those things were simply random occurrences caused by butterflies flapping their wings in China? Or, if you prefer, random quantum effects on physical matter?”

“I’m used to Fate kicking me in the private parts.”

“She can only do that if you allow her to. We discussed this.”

“True. And I’ve said that I’ve managed to wrestle her to a draw.”

“So, are you here because of random chance? Or because you were fated to be here?”

“I had a similar discussion with a friend last week about our relationship. She insisted that from the very start of our lives, we were on a collision course with a particular destiny. But that almost seems like predestination.”

“Do you believe you had a free choice to make? To act or not to act?”

“Yes.”

“Then you did, and you determined the course of events. Perhaps, time is a tapestry, laid out before the gods who see everything, and thus know what will happen without directing it.”

“An interesting consideration, and one I’ve discussed before.”

“So perhaps it was always meant to happen, but it could only happen if you chose to allow it. Contradictory? Certainly. But then again, the universe is far more complex than what we observe via science.”

“On that, we agree.”

“It was good to see you again, Steve. I do hope that you find your way to Japan in the future.”

“It was good to see you as well. If I do find a way, I will come to see you. I couldn’t visit without doing so.”

We finished our tea, stood, and bowed. I left the temple to join Hideki and Robert for a drive to the Shinto temple where we prayed together for Hiro-san, before returning to the compound.

December 17, 1994, Oguni, Yamagata Prefecture, Japan

“I very much enjoy waking in your arms, Steve-chan,” Sakurako said as we cuddled on Saturday morning.

“And I very much enjoy having you with me.”

“Will you run again this morning with Mitsuo, Hikaru, and Katsu?”

“Yes, but a little later so you and I can spend some time like this, and have breakfast together.”

“You enjoy holding me like this very much.”

“I do. And the other things we do, but in reality, this is what is most important. Talking, being truly intimate.”

“Grandmother explained that to me. The time to talk to a man is when he is fully sated by love. Then, he is receptive to ideas which he otherwise might reject.”

I chuckled, “You’re letting out your secrets!”

“I do NOT think this was ever a secret from you, Steve-chan. You are not a Japanese man!”

“No, I am not.”

“You are quite different from all the men here, even Robert-san. You are powerful, but gentle. Aggressive, but meek. Confident, but not arrogant. And yet, you know your place perfectly and how to behave. A man to whom I could, if circumstances were different, give myself to for life. But you would never accept me as a gift, only as a true partner.”

“That’s true. Are you happy?”

“Yes, very much so. I came to you, to be with you, because I wished to, and knowing your situation. You know I’m no silly school girl.”

“No, you’re definitely not. May I ask what happens with you and your grandmother?”

“When I agree to the match with Hideki, and grandfather passes to the next life, I will assume her role. But we both know I will do nothing without her blessing and permission. It must be her house until she, too, passes to the next life.”

“Very wise for someone so young,” I said.

“I believe you said something about traditional Japanese culture making me a woman at an early age.”

“Indeed I did. My comment was from a more modern, Western perspective.”

“And my skills as a lover? Are they the skills of a woman? Or of a girl?”

“You love differently than any girl or woman I’ve ever known. It’s very special. And very womanly.”

And that was very true. The closest comparison would be Anala, but she wanted to be dominated, something Sakurako most decidedly did not want. They had very distinct definitions of submission, and very clear ideas of what they wanted in a man. The odd thing was, in the right circumstances, I could have fulfilled either of their requirements. But that wasn’t where life had led me, or them.

“We could eat breakfast AFTER you run!” she said, sliding on top of me.

About an hour later, I met Mitsuo, Hikaru, and Katsu for our morning run. We ran the old route again, this time passing the compound on our return to lengthen the run by nearly a kilometer. I was taking no chances with the rice, and wanted to burn off any extra sugar in my system that I could.

When I returned, Sakurako was waiting with our breakfast. She helped me wash, then we sat down to eat. When we finished, she took all the dishes to the main house and I went to join Sensei Hiro, Hideki, Robert, and François. We drank tea and I got to know my French brother. He lived just outside Paris and ran a school with forty students. He was an architect, and had a very flexible schedule, so he could run the school and be employed full-time.

I took an immediate liking to him and we both extended invitations to visit our respective schools, should the occasion arise. Our session lasted about an hour before Hideki and Robert helped Sensei Hiro to his room to rest before the afternoon ceremony where the torch would be passed. The two men came back a few minutes later and we continued to talk and drink tea together until lunch.

Once lunch was finished we gathered in the training room, and waited for all of the students of the school to assemble. I noticed, for the first time, women in the training room, all dressed in formal kimono. They appeared to be wives, girlfriends, sisters or mothers, and I also saw fathers, and brothers, and a few babies, I assumed belonged to some of the students in their twenties or thirties. I took special note of Sakurako, who was wearing a formal, young-woman’s kimono, rather than her «furisode», which made sense as she did not wish to give offense. I knew she’d switch to the «furisode» regularly once she and Hideki were betrothed.

The first surprise came just as the ceremony was set to begin. A Shinto priest entered, with two younger men, and led prayers before the small shrine at the front of the training room. When they finished, they moved aside and the next surprise came when Sensei Hiro rose to his feet, looking, to all the world, healthy. But I knew he had simply called upon his last reserves of strength and willpower for this moment.

Robert translated as Sensei Hiro spoke briefly, but strongly, about Hideki’s worthiness to become master of the school. When he finished, the Shinto priests said some prayers, and then stepped aside. Sensei Hiro took a belt from the small table next to him. Two other «Shihan», who I had not seen enter, stepped forward. Each was wearing the red and white belt of a 9th-Dan Master. They stood next to Hiro-san as he presented a belt to Hideki, and conferred upon him the rank of 7th Dan, a jump of four ranks. That put him on par with Sensei Robert, and I wondered if the 8th Dan would come only after Robert passed from this world, as a sign of respect. «Shihan» Hideki bowed deeply to the three 9th-Dan Masters, then turned to bow deeply to the assembled students and their families. We all bowed to him, though not as deeply. I simply matched the behavior of the other students around me.

The ceremony completed, two students helped Sensei Hiro from the training room, and we assembled in another room which appeared to have been created by removing the dividers between smaller rooms, for small cakes and tea, provided by the women. I was introduced to a number of people, most of whose names I didn’t catch, but there was quite a bit of bowing and a few words of heavily accented English to go along with my badly accented Japanese. I suppressed a chuckle when a pair of giggling school girls made ‘goo goo’ eyes at me. The stark separation between these two fourteen-year-olds and Sakurako was like that between noon and midnight.

“Two friends from school,” Sakurako said quietly a moment later. “They are VERY interested in the big, strong American man!”

“They’re little girls, not women,” I said.

“Yes, but they WISH to be women, if you understand what I mean!”

“I do, and they need to grow up, first.”

“They believe they are grown up.”

“They don’t show it by behaving like that. You never acted that way.”

“True.”

“What now?”

“I wish to cook for you again tonight. And tomorrow, if you will allow it. I do not wish to leave your side until Monday morning.”

“I’d like that. Will it cause problems with Hideki?”

“No. There is no dinner tonight. Grandfather is too weak. He used all his strength for this ceremony. The next meal will be on Monday evening when Hiroshi is here. That is when Hideki will ask me to be his wife. On Tuesday morning, you are to join our family for breakfast, along with Sensei Robert and his wife.”

“A last meal?”

“You are certain of it, are you not?”

“Yes.”

“Once that meal is finished, all of the black belts with gather in a small room with Hiroshi, Grandmother, and me to be with him.”

“He knows, too,” I said.

“Yes. And he has told Grandmother he is pleased you understand.”

“Is it OK to cry?”

“Yes, Steve-chan. It would be no disgrace.”

December 18, 1994, Oguni, Yamagata Prefecture, Japan

“I very much enjoyed our day together,” I said as I helped Sakurako carry the shichirin from the cottage to the house.

“Me too, and I wish to enjoy our last night together in whatever way you wish.”

We deposited everything in the kitchen and made our way back to the cottage. Sakurako turned on her boombox and played traditional Japanese music. We sat on cushions in the corner and cuddled close, much as we had on a rainy day during the summer.

“Not bed?” she asked.

“We will, but I wish to spend some time just cuddling and talking first. And when we make love, I want you to completely let yourself go. Not be wild, but allow yourself every bit of pleasure I’m able to give you. That will please me.”

“You simply wish me to fall asleep after a few hours,” she giggled, which was rare for her.

“I can think of a few ways to keep you awake!” I chuckled.

“What will you do when you go home?”

“Spend time with my family. I’ve been away far too much this year. And Thursday is Christmas Eve. And speaking of Christmas, I have a gift for you. Two, actually.”