Chapter 30: And Boys Are Really Dumb!

November 17, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

“How are you doing, Tiger?” Jessica asked when she arrived home.

“Better. I was just telling Kara that Doctor Mercer helped a lot, as she usually does.”

“Any big changes I need to know about?” she asked with a smirk.

I shook my head, “No. We worked through the issues and I’m pretty much at peace. What I told you two on Sunday is pretty much where I’m at. Any love affairs will be fewer and further between, and might not happen at all for some time, if they ever do. We’ll see. Right now, I need to focus on the two of you.”

“You’re going to see your Cherry Blossom in Japan, aren’t you?”

“Yes. But I’m also going to see Sensei Hiro and Yoshiro, the Buddhist monk.”

“What are you going to do in Australia?” Kara teased.

“Sightsee! According to Hans, girls sunbathe topless and it’s going to be the middle of summer!”

“Steve Adams, you’ve seen enough female flesh to last six lifetimes,” Kara laughed.

“I was teasing. I figured I’d do the usual stuff - the Opera House, a boat tour of Sydney Harbour, check out Bondi and Manly beaches, hit the zoo to see some ‘roos’ and koalas.”

“May I ask a serious question? No teasing?”

“Sure.”

“What happens if you meet the archetypical ‘Steve type’ in Sydney?”

“I suppose we’ll find out, but my first inclination is to pass. At least for now. One thing is certain, though. No more High School or college girls in the near future, if ever.”

“None? What about your potential friend in Pittsburgh?”

“Actually, I think the rule is going to be nobody here but you two. Period. That rules out any girls from UofC or anything like that. No cheating by going to the apartment or dorms or anything like that.”

“Forever?”

“That’s a mighty long time, as Prince says. I think at least for the foreseeable future. Except for the briefest of times, we’ve never actually ONLY been a trio. I think it’s time to focus on that.”

“As long as you’re happy, Tiger. What did Doctor Mercer say about the depression?”

“It was just me beating myself up about Michelle again, really.”

“Not being able to see her as an adult?”

“Having sex with her in the first place. That’s the root of these issues, really. I still feel guilty about it, even though I shouldn’t.”

“Are you kidding me?” Michelle growled from behind me, sounding exasperated.

“Oops,” I said sheepishly.

“What do I need to do?” she spat. “Take out a newspaper ad that says ‘Steve Adams fucked my brains out, repeatedly, at my request! I WANTED to fuck him and suck him! I WANTED him to have my virgin blood on his big dick! I wanted to taste and swallow his cum!’? No, I suppose even that won’t do it!”

“I’m sorry. It’s my hang-up.”

“I don’t believe you’re STILL hung up on that after you had your dick in my pussy, your tongue in my pussy, I sucked you AND swallowed, AND you fucked me in the ass! All at my request!”

“I know.”

“What IS it going to take for you to get over yourself? I swear, I could have you fuck me every possible way in the middle of the great room during the next Rap Session and you STILL would feel guilty about us sharing my virginity!”

“I might actually pay to see that,” Kara tittered.

“Or maybe I just need to fuck every guy at the Rap Session in public? One right after the other? Would THAT do it? No, what am I saying. Even THAT won’t work. You’re a blockhead, Steve Adams!”

She spun on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen.

“She has a point,” Jessica said quietly.

“Of COURSE she has a point,” I agreed. “This is my hang-up, not hers.”

“So how do you get over it?”

I shrugged, “I have no clue.”

“Would you like an off-the-wall suggestion?” Kara asked.

“At this point, I’m open to just about anything.”

“It kind of flies in the face of what you just said, but maybe it’s the solution.”

“I’m listening.”

“Take her to Australia with you. Talk. Spend time together. Screw yourselves silly. She can come home when you fly to Japan.”

“I’m not sure that would work, and at this point, I doubt she’d go for it.”

“You are SO dense sometimes, Snuggle Bear!”

“But she broke up with me over the issue she just reamed me about!”

“Yes, she did. Out of sheer frustration!”

“But I just said...”

“Nobody said it would continue after the trip,” Kara interrupted. “But the only way you two can ever get over this is some time alone. Take her to Australia with you. Screw each other senseless and solve this. THEN she’ll be able to move on. And select her OWN husband, rather than insisting you pick one for her.”

“Huh?”

“You ARE dense, Tiger,” Jessica said, shaking her head. “She needs your approval because YOU think you need to approve. You STILL think she’s a little girl. Or a nun. Or some weird combination of both. And until YOU get past that, SHE can’t be free. She knows that. We know that. In fact, the only one who doesn’t know that is YOU!”

“Wait here,” Kara said.

She left the kitchen and when she came back, I knew I was doomed.

“Tell Daddy about Michelle.”

“She loves you but she thinks you’re a shithead!” Birgit giggled.

“Thank you, Pumpkin,” I chuckled. “I see you talked to Aunt Joyce when she was here.”

“Yes! When she visited with Joey and Amelia! She thinks you’re a shithead, too!”

“I know. What do you think about Daddy?”

“Daddy is the best!” she giggled. “But he’s a boy. And boys are REALLY dumb!”

“Get out of here, you little scamp!”

She hugged me, then scampered from the room.

“Six-and-a-half,” I said, shaking my head. “She’s going to be a real terror in about five or six years.”

“And she isn’t now?” Kara asked.

“Add puberty to that, and look out world. She’s a combination of you and me and THAT, Honey, is dangerous to every male on the planet!”

“Go ask Michelle to go with you, then call the travel agent.”

“I need to think about this,” I said.

“Oh for the love of God,” Jessica growled in frustration. “Sometimes you think and talk too much and you tie yourself in knots. Stop it!”

“I’m not sure she’s going to be happy with this request.”

“Our daughter is right,” Kara said firmly. “Boys are REALLY dumb.”

I got up and went to find Michelle, who was in her room, folding laundry.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hi.”

“Want to go to Australia with me, talk this out, and fuck ourselves silly for a week or so?”

“Yes,” she answered calmly, without interrupting what she’d been doing.

November 18, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

“She’s what?” Elyse asked on Friday morning.

“Going to Australia with me. She’ll fly home from Sydney when I fly to Singapore.”

“But you broke up!”

“That’s true in one sense, but we didn’t REALLY break up. She just became frustrated with me. We need to break up properly so she can get on with her life.”

“I do know a thing or two about being frustrated with you!”

“Hey, be nice! I told Doctor Mercer you were the adult in the room at NIKA and at home.”

“You may be an idiot at times, but at least you were smart enough to know you needed someone like that!”

“It did help she was sexy, loved me, and wanted to have my children.”

“Was sexy?” Elyse asked, tapping her fingers on her hip.

“IS sexy!” I chuckled. “But I was talking about when I made the decision. You’re still just as sexy as the day I met you fifteen years ago!”

“There are quite a few miles on the bod,” she sighed. “But those weights and the treadmill keep it in halfway decent shape.”

“Halfway? Ask Eduardo about that! I bet he says the same thing I do!”

“Do you miss it?”

“Of course. But we’re both where we need to be at this moment. You and Eduardo are pretty serious and I know you’re talking about a house in the burbs in the next couple of years. It’ll be good for you to get out of the city.”

“I know, but I just feel like I’m abandoning you. And stealing your kids.”

“You are doing neither of those things! You’ll be right here in this office just as you are now. And you’ll bring the kids to family dinners on Sunday and I’ll come to Matthew’s plays and whatever it is Michael decides to do. It’s fine, Elyse. Don’t mess things up with Eduardo and don’t put up with the city one second longer than you need to. I want you to be happy and you aren’t hurting me by doing those things.”

“I love you, Steve.”

“And I love you, too.”

“Kimmy is going to be jealous when she finds out!”

I chuckled, “My rule about married women hasn’t changed enough to even THINK about that! And mentioning her made me think of Chris. How’s she doing?”

“Maybe another ten days or so and then she’ll be on maternity leave. She’s due in about three weeks. Her temp will start Monday.”

“How’s the other one working out?”

“Just fine. You’re surviving without your girl Friday?”

“Between Michelle and Lucas, they mostly have it covered. I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have some work to do before my lunch with Melissa.”

“Before I forget, who’s paying for Michelle’s trip?”

“Me. I cashed in a bunch of miles to cover a good chunk of it. The hotel isn’t an issue because Sam negotiated a fixed cost contract, taking all of that into account so she didn’t have to mess with the extra days when we figured out what to bill SPSS.”

“OK.”

I headed to my office, looking forward to the construction that would occur while I was in Asia. Penny kissed me on the cheek when I sat down and I got to work. Just over three hours later, I headed to Rosebud for lunch with Melissa.

“How are things at DP?” I asked when she sat down at the table where I’d been waiting.

“As of January 1st, it’ll be M&M Engineering. We decided we needed a change of name to go with the change of ownership and change of culture.”

“Good. How is Callie working out?”

“You were right about her, which doesn’t surprise me. She told me the entire story, start to finish, including trying to seduce you. I’m amazed you could forgive her for that.”

“What good does holding a grudge do?” I asked.

“Sure, don’t hold a grudge, but to forgive someone and help them? That’s not very common.”

“Perhaps not, but the three people who have left NIKA under a cloud over the past nine years are all loyal to me personally again. And successful in their careers. I don’t think anyone should suffer for their entire life for a mistake made while they were young. We’re not talking first degree murder or espionage here!”

“I suppose if you look at it that way, it makes sense. How are things with you?”

“Busy. I’m heading to Asia because Sam broke her leg and is laid up for a few months.”

“I heard. How much did you pay that kid to dart in front of her?”

I chuckled, “Fate smiled on me for once. I feel really bad for Sam, but I’m happy to be going.”

“I bet! That’s a trip I’d love to make someday. But right now, things are so busy. Speaking of which, do you have those new policies you promised to share with me?”

I slid the envelope across the table.

“You do know when Dante gets word of this, he’s going to completely blow his stack!”

“Let him!” Melissa laughed. “We’re at a point where we really don’t need him, and Mark and I own the company one hundred percent, free and clear. He can bitch and moan and I can tell him to shove it!”

“I’d love to be a fly on the wall for THAT conversation. A woman telling Dante to ‘shove it’ is going to be a classic for the ages!”

Melissa smirked, “I should tell him we decided to enter into a full partnership and sealed the deal by screwing ourselves silly!”

“His head would explode,” I chuckled. “Mainly because I’m sure he came onto you on more than one occasion.”

“He wanted to ‘celebrate’ the deal. I told him Mark was more his type!”

I was glad I wasn’t drinking because I would have spit it out all over Melissa.

“I didn’t know you talked like that!”

“He made me pretty angry with his stupid sexist behavior. I saw the letter you had Jamie send him. I was surprised he didn’t burn or shred it.”

“Me, too. But when three of my female staff complained about him being disgusting and hitting on them, I had to do something. I talked to him, but I also had Jamie send him that letter.”

“The man is a great engineer, but a total pig and a repugnant human being.”

“You won’t get any argument from me. Anything else I can do for you before we enjoy our lunch?”

“No, these policy documents are a big help. Shall we order?”

I nodded and waved the waiter over to take our orders. We had a nice chat, and after lunch I walked over to the Michigan Avenue offices of the Lundgren Foundation.

“Why the cloak and dagger?” Jeri asked.

“I need a massive political favor which might require greasing some palms. But I can’t be tied to it for obvious reasons.”

“And I can?”

“You have reason to talk to these people. I don’t.”

“Who are we talking about?”

“The Illinois Medical Licensing Board. Al is trying to do an exchange with a hospital in the UK. Everything is set on their end for Alicia Lewis to go over. The State Department is OK with Doctor Jonathan Todd coming here. But Al can’t get clearance for him to work at the hospital. Somebody in Springfield is sitting on it and Al told me he felt they were looking for their palms to be crossed. He can’t do that, obviously.”

“I HATE this state,” Jeri groused. “The Illinois Political Combine is slowly strangling the state, enriching themselves and their buddies at the expense of everyone else.”

“I know. We’re talking Tammany Hall levels of corruption. The political machine in this state is like a squid with its tentacles into everything.”

“And it’s not even Japanese porn!” Jeri laughed.

“Do I even want to know how you know about that?”

“The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife is a famous print and I know all about manga!”

“Again, do I even want to know HOW you know about that?”

“I’m married to a sailor who did a tour in Japan very early in his career.”

I chuckled, “Leave it to the Navy. Anyway, are you able to help?”

“I know who to call,” Jeri replied with resignation. “How much are you willing to spend?”

“Just make it happen. Al and I will take care of it one way or the other.”

“I’ll make the call this afternoon. I’ll let you know. Probably after Thanksgiving.”

“Thanks, Jeri.”

November 20, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

On Sunday evening, when we finished our family dinner, all of the adults went to the sauna. Kathy and Kurt had joined us for dinner, at my invitation.

“Gina, do you have something to share?” I asked, noticing a slight bulge in her abdomen.

“Well, I guess THAT horse is out of the barn now!” she laughed. “Yes. I’m four months along. Good eye, Mr. Adams.”

“I’ve seen you naked every Sunday for a few years now. I knew you didn’t put on weight because it didn’t go right to your butt the way it usually does!”

“You are SUCH a bitch, girlfriend!” she laughed.

“Congratulations!” Tom said.

Everyone joined in congratulating them.

“Kurt, I do have something I need to share with you, from my counselor.”

Bethany smirked, but Kurt wasn’t looking at her.

“What’s that?”

“You are personally responsible for my recent bout of depression. And only you can fix it.”

“What?!”

I nodded, “In Doctor Mercer’s expert professional opinion, you making Kathy shave her pubic hair caused me to be depressed!”

Laughter erupted in the sauna.

“Bullshit!” he laughed.

I shook my head, “Not at all. I believe Kathy’s best friend can confirm the diagnosis.”

Bethany smirked, “I did call Fran and she DID tell Steve that was the cause of his depression.”