Chapter 6

I couldn’t help chuckling as I walked back to the lounge to return to my poker game. After all, I had won. I was amused, though, at the seemingly absolute faith that Shirley had in me. I’m glad that I’m not that confident, because, if I were, I would probably not survive until nightfall!

I didn’t worry about the safety of Shirley and James because of the android permanently on guard duty in the cabin with her. If the android could not protect them, then nothing else could but prayer.

Back at the poker table, everything was as I had left it, so I pocketed my winnings, and we resumed play with another participant joining in to replace the dead man. The rest of the day, I relaxed and let other people win enough to keep them happy. I didn’t need the money, and I had learned my lesson from earlier that day. I was only playing for fun and distraction from the boredom of the trip, but none of the others were in the same position as me with virtually unlimited funds. Therefore, good manners called for me to win no more than was necessary to keep from getting bored.

By keeping that attitude, I did not have to fight any more duels for the rest of the trip to St. Louis. However, there were a few more duels over poker, and there was one player who consistently won. I sat in on his table long enough to see what he was doing. This person was a professional poker player, no, make that cheater. His skill was remarkable in the way he was able to palm cards. I finally detected the mirror he was using to read the cards as they came up on the deck. I wanted to stop this fleecing of other people, but I did not want to kill the man. Then I had an idea: I sent an android to break all of the fingers on his right hand! The man never was able to play poker for the rest of the trip. I don’t know about the rest of his life.

We finally reached Independence, Missouri, but few people got off the boat. I didn’t know it at the time, but the most hazardous part of the trip by steamboat was still ahead of us. River pirates infested the Missouri River between Independence and St. Louis. Most of them pretended to be Confederate guerillas, but the Confederate Army would have disavowed them had it known what was going on.

We were only one day out of Independence when we had our first encounter with pirates. Four longboats came along side our steamer and they demanded that we stop to be assessed a toll. That was patently ridiculous, but there were enough of the blackguards to cause concern. To his credit, the captain sped up the boat in an effort to leave the pirates behind. However, they had cast grappling hooks onto our boat and were pulled along as we moved.

I could see trouble ahead, so I called up an android to assist in the defense of the boat, leaving one in the cabin with my family. I found the first mate and told him that I had a man who worked for me, and we had a new kind of gun. I said that it was the same type as the one I had used in my duel, so I thought that we could do a lot to defend the boat.

The mate took me to the captain, and he agreed that he could use all of the help that he could get. Therefore, I stationed the android on the starboard side to fight the 25-30 men on that side while I took the port side to do the same. My instructions to the android was to use the high pressure setting to simulate gunpowder and to use the bullets, not the darts. I told him to do whatever was necessary to drive off or kill the pirates, short of being lost himself.

The captain refused to let the pirates board us without a fight, and the pirates started the festivities by firing a volley with their revolvers. There was just no room in the longboats for rifles. The pirates were armed with revolvers, knives, and clubs, so a battle with them was bound to be messy, but my androids were sure to win this kind of slugfest.

Actually, the fight never got that far. On both sides of the steamboat, other people were shooting, but the fight really belonged to my android and me. We were firing down into the longboats, and that was much easier than the shooting up that the pirates had to do. By its very nature, my android almost never missed a shot, and I was almost that good. As a result, the pirates were soon wiped out. On top of that, the longboats were shot so full of holes that they sank.

Our boat’s crew went along the rail with axes cutting away the ropes to the grappling hooks the pirates had used to hang on to us. I’m sure that the alligators and fish had a feast on the bodies that floated away when their boats sank.

The captain was so impressed with the performance of my android and me that he asked me to become the regular protection for his boat until we got to St. Louis. In exchange, he refunded the passage money that I had paid for all of us. That was not necessary, but I did not tell him that because I was sure that he would have become suspicious of us if I had done so.

Three more times, we were attacked by pirates, and three more times they were beaten off by my android and me. We were the toast of the ship, and I had to let my androids circulate among the passengers just so that they could be congratulated and fed unnecessary drinks.

The captain was so impressed with our work in defending his boat that he tried to hire us as permanent guards on his trips up and down the river. He was a very nice man, and it was obvious how much he could use our protection, but I declined the offer as gently, but firmly, as I could. I hated to disappoint the man, but we had that other more important job to do.

I consulted with Joe, and we decided that I should take my people to Chicago. We were not worried about damage to the androids, but we three humans might have been hurt or even killed by so called guerillas if we traveled overland.
The most obvious route to Chicago was by steamboat up the Illinois River to Joliet. From there, we could take a train into Chicago.

That was what we did, and we arrived in Chicago in August, 1861. We were well ahead of schedule, so we decided to spend a few days in Chicago site-seeing and sampling the restaurants. We wound up spending two weeks in the city before booking train tickets for New York City. We were going to have to change trains four times during the trip, but, at least, we were able to take a Pullman sleeping car all of the way. That beat the hell out of sleeping in a coach seat; however, the androids did not object to that, so that was the way they traveled.

The biggest hassle of the trip was in changing trains. This usually involved changing stations. I don’t think anybody had come up with the idea of a “union station” in this universe. I wanted to recommend one, but I had no idea who to talk to. Oh, well, that problem still existed in my universe well into the 21^st century, so I guess that we just had to live with the aggravation. Some places even had multiple airports in my time, so I guess that people never learn!

Anyway, we finally arrived in New York City, and, you guessed it, they were having a monumental heat wave. My God! I never thought that I would long so much for air conditioning! Shirley was miserable, but she was at least three levels more comfortable than James. The poor kid cried the whole time until we got to a hotel room and were able to get some ice. I showed Shirley how to rig a bowl of ice so that she could fan cool air over him and herself. Here was an unexpected use for an android: it never got tired of fanning and it never got too hot. Both Shirley and James stripped naked and lay on the bed while the cool air was wafted over them.

It was not long before I joined them in the bed. I had gotten the other android settled in their room before I got on the bed, so I had time to think of other things. It had been so hot that day that we had no strength for anything but a little oral sex. Nevertheless, we both were completely satisfied by the time we had to dress for dinner.

James was still consuming breast milk, of course, so Shirley fed him and put him to bed. The android was fully competent to look after him while we went to the dining room. I think that Shirley would have gone down naked if I had not insisted that she dress in her best clothes. Of course, they were not up to the full fashion of this city, and neither were mine, but we would not cause a riot or be arrested for what we had to wear. I figured on shopping for clothes tomorrow, but we could get by with what we had for now.