Chapter 5: Day Two

We were surprised at the number of people waiting for Chrissy’s exercise class. Word must have gotten around because the ship had coffee and breakfast treats. With all the excellent food available on the cruise, I will need double exercise and will still pick up more than a few pounds.

Chrissy was handed a powered megaphone. “Wow, someone must have really spread the word. Please gather into groups of mutually consenting adults. Mike, use this thing so I can demonstrate.”

“I’m Mike with the microphone. Watch Chrissy. She is much better looking than I am ... Reach for the sky. Those of you not on your toes are not reaching far enough. Now legs straight reach down to the ground. Sorry, reach for the deck. Chrissy is a show off her hands are flat on the deck. Back up and hold. And down and up and back down.

“Most of you will be relieved to know that the jumping jack exercise has been canceled due to whiplash concerns.

“Squats are next. Hands out for balance. Go down until your ankles are kissing your butt then all the way up. Keep up with Chrissy if you can. Come on you lazybones in the second row. You can do more than five squats.

“Pushups men’s style is only hands and toes down on the ground, I mean, deck. Lady’s style is knees and hands down. The more well-endowed ladies don’t have that far to go down before they can push back up. I know from experience that Chrissy uses the men’s style so men, please don’t cheat.

“Situps are next. Ladies, flat on your backs. Men, hold her ankles. Chrissy has already done more than 10 so get moving ... Chrissy, you can stop now. Everybody else is done. Men, it’s your turn to show the ladies what you can do. Lie down. Ladies, hold their ankles. Its situp time. Some of you guys are doing quite well. Ladies, when you are ready, show him how much he is appreciated. And don’t be shy about it.”

I looked around. At least 30 couples were coupling. Oh wait, two more non-exercisers made it at least 32.

“Stay around and relax after you finish. We need men for a pushup contest to compete for Chrissy’s attention. The winner gets Chrissy then he and the next 5 get free beer. Ladies are welcome to watch and cheer their men on.”

Chrissy took the megaphone, “Okay guys, whoever does the most pushups gets me right here, right now. I will set a nice even pace. The top six get beer; the top one gets me. Ladies, cheer for your guy. Get ready and go.”

Everybody followed Chrissy. I counted by 10’s. 10, 20, 30, two dropouts, 40, some serious sweat was pouring off a few guys. 50, 60, another dropout, 70 Chrissy was glowing with moisture and was the only one actually smiling. The three dropouts were breathing too hard to smile. 80 another two dropped out. By 95 only two left. At 100 only the winner was left and Chrissy smiled, “Wanna keep going?” He dropped at 115 and show off Chrissy did five more. “Roll over big guy, your prize is ready.” He had no wind to speak. “That was a fun contest. Hope losing to a girl won’t ruin your cred with the ladies. Hang on ... ah, oh god, yes ... I felt you finish.” She gave him a big kiss and offered her hand to help him stand. He took it and stood. “Shower is that way. We both need it.”

Almost 20 people gathered in the third deck main bar. “I said ‘beer’ pointed to the group and the bar lady started filling mugs.” She asked what brought you all here together. “He won the prize in a pushup contest with 115 pushups.”

“And I was the prize.” Chrissy offered with a smile.

“Little Chrissy beat me with 120.”

I don’t know if our lady barkeep helped when she said, “At least you beat a bunch of guys.”

The lady with Andy said, “Andy dearest, you did more than okay. And you won the prize. Any time you want to be hot and sweaty with me I will watch while you do 115 pushups. Or if we want to pass on the pushups, we can both get sweaty together.

I’m not sure how many beers went on our tab but we all had a good time.

Andy took a bit of teasing for letting a girl beat him. (The other guys lost to guys and were not bothered. People are strange.) But Andy had a good-natured response, “It’s always nice to have something to be humble about.”

I came back to our cabin to find a note taped to our door.