Yes I tend to use the name Samantha in all my stories. I love that name. It’s almost a part of me now. Don’t judge!
Also: I’m writing this in a different style. It’s mostly the way I talk in real life or even how I think.
Have you ever had one of those days? I had one of those weeks. Actually, I’m STILL having one of those weeks. It all started with me losing my job on the spot, (To tell you the truth, it wasn’t lost. Someone else has it now.) and me deciding that now would be a great time to get in the car and just drive. That’s where my story starts.
“SAMANTHA!” That would be me! “Get your ass in my office right now!!” You know when your boss says ASS, you are about to be escorted out of the building.
“Yes boss?” I took a seat, even though I knew I wasn’t going to be in there for long.
“You know that the Jones family is our best customer? Why are you trying to piss them off?”
Really, I wasn’t. I was just tiring of their constant demands for things that I couldn’t deliver on and the way they told me that I could give it to them for almost free. When I told my boss that, he said that whatever they wanted, they would get. If we didn’t do it, they would go elsewhere. We’re not selling used cars here. We were an equine tack shop.
My boss finally said the magical words, “You are fired!” Did I cry? Nope. Did I laugh? OH HELL YEAH I DID! The only job worse than the one I was just fired at, would have to be used car dealer. Something my own father did. I don’t remember how long he was at it, but I think my birth made him leave that job and go into computer sales.
I jumped into my car and took off. I drove for a few hours, got lost and found and then lost again. GPS and paper maps failed me more times than I can count. Then my gas light came on. I was driving a PT Cruiser that would suck up gas like a hoover on dust bunnies. I hated that car from the moment I drove it off the lot. The car died almost as soon as I got to a sign that said, “WELCOME TO PURGATORY”. Would be just my luck that I died in an accident and this was my hell.
I got out of the car and found my over sized gas can, (did I mention that it was the hoover of cars?) and I started to walk.
Wherever or whatever this Purgatory was, it was really creepy. Dead trees everywhere, no birds or squirrels. My creep meter was off the charts. It didn’t help that the sun was going down fast and I was getting tired. After walking for about three hours, I saw what looked like either a light or a mirage. When walking in heels, my money was on mirage.
I was so focused on it that I didn’t realize I was not on the road anymore. The closer I got to it, the more I saw that it was a giant fire. I was just hoping that there wasn’t a house on fire, or worse, a KKK rally.
It looked like a fire pit and there were a bunch of people standing and sitting around it. What kind of people have a fire that big in the middle of July? I didn’t have much choice in the matter. I couldn’t find the road, my feet were killing me and whoever these people were had to have some gas.
I stepped on something that alerted everyone to my presence, a twig or a frog or something made a sound and they all stopped what they were doing and turned to me.
“Hi!” I waved. “My car ran out of gas over by that sign that says Purgatory. Can someone run me to the nearest gas station?” That’s when I saw and heard the sound of many guns cocking all at once. “My can is empty.” I pointed to it. The crowd parted and walking towards me was a man with a rather thin frame, short beard and a Mohawk. He was bare chested and wearing black jeans and boots. Usually this man was not my type, but today, I was very happy to see him. So happy that I couldn’t speak until he grabbed my face in one hand. I darted my eyes around and saw these long fingers. “If you don’t have gas or a way to take me to gas, I will just leave.” He still had my face all smooshed up and I was able to still talk. He looked at me puzzled. “I used to be a ventriloquist when I was a kid.”
He took my gas can and threw it to someone.
“Get this lady some gas!” He put his arm around me and led me to the trailers just past the fire pit.
I ended up in a trailer with this weird man and he offered me a drink. “I’m driving.”
“I didn’t see a car with you. You can have one drink.” I watched him pour me a double of Jack and coke. While I was hoping that he didn’t slip me a roofy I did crave something to drink.
“Thank you.” I sniffed it.
“It’s not drugged. It’s late. You can stay the night if you wish and be on your way in the morning. You might not be able to find your car until then anyways.” He had a point.
“Maybe tomorrow. I’m not that kind of guy.”
I blushed a little at that one and for good reason. I didn’t even take a drink yet and I was already swearing like a sailor.
“What’s your name?”
“As in the clown?” It was a joke on my side. He just looked at me a little pissed and took my drink away.
“You can’t have my booze now.”
“Oh come on, you have to think that is a strange name for a man who’s not even wearing clown shoes!”
He thought about it for a minute and gave me back my drink.
“So what brings you to Purgatory?”
“A gas sucking piece of shit car mostly. And I lost my job. My soul sucking hag of a job.”
“What were you? A used car sales lady?” Yeah, that wasn’t funny when I said it.
“I worked in a tack shop. The Jones family would come in and demand things. They’d want this for the price of that. If I did that, I would be out a job.”
“You’re out one now.” I nodded. “My gas won’t be cheap. I will be needing some sort of payment.” He would say this as I took a giant gulp of my whiskey.
“Oh fuck! You did roofy me!”
“No I didn’t. And what is this fascination of me fucking you? I told you, maybe tomorrow.”
I heard a female on the other side of the door call to him, “Bo Bo.” It was almost in a slutty singsong. “Girlfriend?” I pointed at the door.
“Just one of my many whores.” He smiled. “Is there anything I can get you to make your stay in La Casa Del Rey better?”
“Boots like yours in size 7 men’s?” He nodded.
“You can stay here the night. If I were you, I would lock this door behind me. My people might want to indulge on the fresh meat.” He walked out and I did as he said. The latch on the door was just like the type of latch you would find on a Buddy Holly plane. A stiff breeze could unlatch it. I wasn’t sure how I was going to sleep. I did manage to sleep. It was the only when I heard the sound of gun fire that I woke up. Like I said, one of those weeks!
A new day ... Tuesday.
I fell out of bed when I heard the guns going off. I didn’t know what was going on and I wasn’t going to be looking out a window to check. Then I heard a banging on the door.
“It’s Bobo.” He seemed calm. I opened the door and standing there was not Bobo.
“You changed over night.”
So he threw open the door and forced his way in. I found myself on my back on the bed and this ugly fuck trying to tear my clothes off. I did what I was trained to do, I put my knee into his crotch with a force of a car. He rolled off and on to the floor. Before I could get off the bed and out the door, I saw Bobo standing at the door looking rather pissed. I blinked and the man on the floor was out the door and being dragged away.
“I have your boots.” He held up a pair and stepped in. “Are you harmed?”
“I don’t think so. My knee might be bruised later. How was he able to sound like you?”
“He’s a mimic. He can sound like anyone or anything. You won’t need to fear him anymore.”
“Why? You kicking him out?” Then I heard screaming.
“In a way.”
I put the boots on and handed him the pumps I was wearing the night before. “If they fit any of your whores...” He smiled.
“I have a friend stopping by later. He can take you to your car.”
“You’re kicking me out? I was promised sex!” I was only half joking. I couldn’t remember the last time I was properly shagged. I wasn’t sure, but I just might be a virgin again. Oh no! I would have to see someone to dust out the cobwebs before he sees me naked!
Wait a minute. Why am I getting all excited about this strange man on top of me? He’s not my type. He’s never been my type. But OH MY GOD he was nice to look at.
We walked outside and he grabbed me a plate. “We have bacon, eggs, steaks.”
“Yeah I get it, you have lots of protein. Have you ever heard of fruit?” He looked around and found the largest banana I had ever seen. “I’ll eat it or fuck it later.” I put it into my pocket and dished up some eggs and bacon. We sat together on some well worn lawn chairs and I could still hear someone screaming. “What’s with the screaming?”
“That’s just the guy who tried to rape you.”
“Are you castrating him?” I really didn’t want to know.
“No. I exiled him from the property.” I stood up and followed the screaming. Bobo walked with me and that’s when I saw him.
“Did you set him on fire?” Seriously, the guy was smoking.
“I think I might want to fill you in on what you’re involved with.”
Yeah! That would be nice! I didn’t say that to him, but I was thinking it. It must have come out on my face because he started to tell me.
“We are revenants.” He paused. “Or demons if you would prefer.” I just blinked. “Did you hear me?” I did. But I couldn’t remember things like words or speech.
“Are you talking about demons from hell?”
Why I didn’t run at that moment is beyond me. Did I just have probably the best looking man I’ve ever laid eyes on, tell me that he was a demon? Yeah, that makes sense.
I don’t remember what happened after that. I woke up in the trailer thinking that it was all just a dream. Then I heard a man screaming and I looked down and saw the boots.
“If you wish...”
I looked over and saw Bobo bringing over a glass of water.
“You’re a demon?” He nodded. “From hell?” He nodded and handed me the glass. I slammed the water back. “Nope. Not enough. I need that bottle of Jack.” He smiled and handed it to me. I didn’t even use a glass. I chugged it back from the bottle.
“It’s not even 8 am yet.”
“Then you should have told me this at noon!”
“So, no sex?”
“Maybe later. I have a lot to process.” I could tell it was going to be a very long day.
“Take all the time you need.” Bobo smiled and walked out. I thought about telling my liver that I was sorry for what was going to happen while staying here, but maybe I would be able to get through all this without drinking.
Just as I was about to get out of bed, someone came banging on my door. “Who is it?” I called out. I wasn’t going to play THAT game again!
“I’m,” He paused. “John Henry.”
I opened the door and looked. “What are you?”
“Your driver. I’m here to help you with your car?” Ok, I don’t know what they feed the men in Purgatory, but this was also a very good looking man.
I looked him up and down. From the old west look in his clothes to the moustache, he was very nice on the eyes. I’m guessing that Bobo saw me checking him out, because he ran over to us and pushed him out of the way. “Hey, Bobo! What was that for!”
“Nothing, Doc!” I saw this weird look exchange between the two men. Did I have a demon thinking I was a catch? I grabbed my purse and followed John Henry or Doc or whatever name this guy had, to his car. The full gas can was sitting in the back of the car and we headed off to the sign where my car was.
There was something odd about this man. First, he could barely drive. We were speeding on the the road to my car about 20 over. Then there was this strange feeling that I had seen him before. Was he a singer? No. Actor? Don’t think so. He must have reminded me of someone.
My asshole PT Cruiser was right where I left it. I dragged the gas to the car and started filling it. I gave it a minute after to remember that it was indeed a car. That’s when the fun started. I got in and tried to turn it over. I had to check a few times that the key I was using was for my car. It fit in, and it turned. Why was the car not turning on. I pulled the lever for the hood and got out. John was still next to his car when it started. Not the car. My rage! I started kicking the shit out of the car. John snuffed out his cigarette and hustled over to me. He looked in and saw what I saw; most of the engine was missing. John called for a tow truck and stayed away from me. By the time the truck showed up, the only things not damaged on the car were the tires. The driver saw me sitting next to the car banging my head on it. I handed him the ownership papers.
“You don’t want your car fixed?” The tow driver asked.
“Bastard costs me $500 just to change a tire. It’s all yours!” I grabbed my book off the front seat and got into the car with John and we drove away.
Just before we got to the trailer park, he noticed my book. He held it up and read the cover, “Doc Holliday: The Life and Legend.” He paused. “Can I borrow this?”
“Yeah, take it.” I turned to him and looked at him and then the book. It was like looking into a mirror. “OH. MY. FUCKING...”
“A lady shouldn’t used that language.”
Who the fuck was he calling a lady? “Are you related to him?”
“Doc Holliday? Nope. I AM Doc Holliday.” My jaw hit the floor of the car and smacked me in the head. “I thought you knew.”
I don’t know how long I was sitting in the car for, but Bobo came over and stood talking to Doc FUCKING Holliday next to the car for a while. He came over to my door and opened it. I blinked finally and looked at him.
“You are a demon and HE is Doc Holliday?”
He nodded. “I think you’re getting the hang of this place already. Come out and I’ll get you a bottle of Jack.”
He helped me out of the car and smiled as he heard me muttering, “This is the most fucked up week of my life!”
“It’s only Tuesday.” Bobo said.
“Oh fuck me!”
“Maybe later. I don’t think you would enjoy it right now!” I just stared at him.
Still FUCKING Tuesday
It was a very long day.
STILL FUCKING TUESDAY
Doc’s car was so big that Bobo and I rode in the back seat into the main area of town. I tried to teach a demon and a 166 year old man car games, but they couldn’t get into it.
We were just about to pass a bar when John said, “Wynonna just walked in. You think we should go see her, Bobo?”
“Might be nice to throw everything at Samantha all at once.” I turned my head like an owl at Bobo, who, I might add, was holding my hand. I don’t know how people date in hell, but he was being a kind gentleman.
We walked into the bar and I ordered a coke. I wanted to give my liver a break and see if I could kill my pancreas. I sat at the bar and a pretty young lady handed me a bowl of nuts.
“OMG! THANK YOU!” I cried. “I could just stuff my mouth with all kinds of nuts! I would even dive face first into some nuts!”
So the music stopped, everyone was looking at me and I realized how that must have sounded. Doc and Bobo brought over another pretty young lady.
“This is Wynonna Earp.” Doc told me.
“As in THE Earps?”
Wynonna nodded. “Do you know much about my family?”
“Yeah! I did a project on Wyatt Earp in high school. They gave me the highest mark in the class just so I would shut up. I was both the first and last presenter that day.”
“Maybe you and Waverly should team up and compare notes.” She pointed to the young lady who gave me the nuts.
“When could we start?”
When I saw everything that she had on the town and on the Earps, I was in heaven! I do love history and this family had so much of it.
Waverly kept looking at me. “What is it?”
“How long have you and Bobo been lovers?”
“Lovers? I just got into town last night. Did he say we were?”
“No. Just I see the way you two look at each other.”
“How do we look at each other?”
“Like two souls meeting.”
Was it possible that me running into Bobo was the universe saying something? Did the stars align and this was meant to be? Nah!
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bobo’s real name is Robert Svane. Svane means swan. Swans mate for life.” She told me all this and I just blinked. “Has he done any mating rituals?”
I could only remember a few things. “I don’t think so. He’s torturing a guy who tried to rape me. He brought me these boots when I asked for them. We had breakfast together.”
“In some cultures, sharing a meal with someone is a precursor to marriage.”
“Demons can get married?” Before she could answer that, Bobo knocked on the door.
“Samantha, we’re heading out. You joining us?”
I thanked Waverly and opened the door to Bobo. “I’m ready any time you are.”
He took my hand in one of his and put his arm around me. As we walked out to the car, I thought I heard one of the Earp sisters say, “He’s fallen hard.”
It was a nice drive back. I didn’t know that we were there for hours. The sun was no where to be found and there I was in the back seat, in Bobo’s arms starting to drift off to sleep. I must have felt safe, because I don’t remember anything after that.
It’s Another day in Purgatory.
I woke up in bed with Bobo spooning me. I looked over at him and thought that he was cute when he was sleeping. Is it possible that even demons have a softer side?
I saw my clothes folded up on a chair next to the bed. I looked down and saw what looked like a long over sized t-shirt on me. I got out of bed and put on my jeans. It was morning and there was a demon in my bed. I opened the door and stepped out. At 7 am it was so peaceful. I was hoping to not hear any more celebratory gun fire again this morning. But then again, that could just be what they do on Tuesdays. A young man brought me over two plates of food. I thanked him and walked back into the trailer and woke up Bobo.
I could see Bobo as being the type to shoot you dead if you woke him up too early. He looked up at me and smiled.
“Your people brought food.” I told him and handed him a plate. His long fingers lingered on my hand as he accepted the plate.
I looked into his eyes. Waverly was right. I could see it. I could see it in Bobo’s eyes.
“Didn’t sleep with any of your whores?”
“Nope. I don’t usually sleep with them every single night.” He swallowed a mouthful of eggs. “Did you mind that I was sleeping in here? With you?” I shook my head.
After breakfast, I crawled back on the bed. He touched my face with his fingers gently and leaned in to kiss me.
“Bobo! Are you in there?”
“Dammit!” Bobo cursed. “What do you want now, Doc?”
“I just checked all over this park trying to find you. I have something you want.”
Yeah, I caught that too.
Bobo got out of bed and it was only then that I noticed that he was wearing jeans in bed. He put on his boots, and walked out. I could hear them talking but I couldn’t make out anything they were saying. I made the bed, collected the dishes and realized that I was acting like a wife. Don’t know where that came from, but maybe what we don’t see at first that everyone else can see, is true.
I brought the plates out to the guys who were in control of the meals. That’s when I saw Bobo at Doc’s car and the two men were pulling out boxes and bags of things. I turned to the nearest guy and asked, “Shouldn’t you guys be helping him?”
“If the boss wanted help he would have asked for it.”
So I had a lot to learn. Bobo walked over to the trailer and I opened the door for him.
“Care package from the Earps.”
“There’s like two boxes. What’s in them?”
“Lady things.” He left it at that. He walked back out to get the last of whatever was out there. I opened one box and found bras in my size. Just below that was a bunch of what looked like lace eye patches. It didn’t take me long to realize they were g-strings. The second box didn’t get any stranger. Unless finding a vibrator was strange. I was still holding the thing when Bobo walked back in. He saw what I was holding and didn’t even blink.
“There’s clothes and batteries in this box.” He motioned.
“I take it that I’m going to be here for a while?”
“Were you planning on leaving? And if so, how are you going to do that without a car?”
I hadn’t even thought about looking for another car.
I don’t know what came over me, But I grabbed Bobo and kissed him square on the lips. He pulled me tight to him and I felt electricity run through us. Most definitely, this was the meeting of two souls.
The door opened and in walked Doc with another box. “All the food is with your cook. This is the last box from the Earps.” He opened it and handed me a phone. “All of our numbers are on this.”
I broke away from Bobo who gave Doc a dirty look. I checked the names and numbers. “Haught and Dolls? Who are they?”
“Haught is a cop we know. And Dolls...” Doc and Bobo exchanged looks. “He’s with Black Badge.”
“What is Black Badge?”
“Wynonna and Dolls are agents. Anything that happens in this town with any supernatural flavor, they are on it.” Doc told me.
“So, they are Sam and Dean? Mulder and Scully?”
“Pretty much.” They nodded.
“Why would I need Dolls’ number?”
“You’re dating a revenant.”
“Dating?” I looked at Bobo. “We went to a bar and I spent most of the time with an Earp. That was not a date.” I wondered if that was a hint big enough that Bobo would catch on. I will never know because he shot Doc a nasty look.
“Okay, you’re in love with one.”
There was nothing I could say about that one. I was sure I was in love. I couldn’t argue it. Bobo just blushed.
“Do you guys think I need agents?”
“You never know.” Doc told me.