This was written tongue-in-cheek and is inspired by an old joke I am sure you have all heard.
You know the one: Old lady reports to the police that every morning she sees a naked man displaying himself in front of his window. The officer comes over and looks out her window and says, “I can’t see in any window.”
She says, “Yes you can. Climb up on the stool and then stand up on the kitchen counter and turn your head all the way to the left.”
Mom was not one to pull punches when she was upset with me.
“What were you thinking bringing your girlfriend over here to skinny dip in broad daylight while I am at work? I have four messages from Mrs. Bergman on my phone complaining about your promiscuity.”
“No buts. She even left a message insinuating that you had an erection and were fondling Kimberly. Mark, you are eighteen years old and should know better. You better not be fucking her in my house.”
“I said no buts. Tomorrow I want you to go over to Mrs. Bergman’s and apologize to her. If I ever hear that you...”
I knew mom was going to go on about this for at least another ten minutes. Christ, Mrs. Bergman would have had to be on the roof of her house with binoculars to have seen my hard-on. And no, I am not fucking Kimberly. She lets me touch and kiss her boobs if she is in a good mood as she was today. She jerked me off once after I begged for a half hour.
Mom finally wound down.
“Now you get to your room. You are grounded until Monday. It will give you a chance to mow the lawn like I asked you two days ago. And don’t forget, first thing tomorrow morning go and apologize to Mrs. Bergman.”
“Can I call Kimberly?”
“Can I put my pants on now?”
“Yes. And stop being so sarcastic.”
Still in a bit of a snit mom stalked out of the room, out the door, got in her car and went back to work. Having to come home on her lunch hour must have really pissed her off. I went over to the couch and got my shorts and smiled. Kimberly must have dressed and flew out of the house so fast she left her panties under my shorts. I put on my shorts and T-shirt and slipped the panties in my pocket.
The next morning I waited until around 9:00 to go over to Mrs. Bergman’s. I rang the doorbell and Mrs. Bergman answered. Mrs. Bergman must be somewhere between 30 or 50. It’s hard for me to tell ages of folks over thirty. She is about 5’ 5” and could lose a few pounds. She was wearing a black skirt, short sleeve white blouse and pink bunny slippers.
“Can I help you Mark?”
“I came over to apologize for yesterday and explain why you saw us like that.”
“Why don’t you come in and tell me why I had to witness such a display of impropriety.” She sounded a little miffed as she held the door open and stepped aside to let me in.
She led me to the kitchen and told me to have a seat and asked if I would care for a drink.
“Yes please,” I replied.
After she served me an ice tea she sat and said, “Now tell me why a young man like you is running around with no clothes on with that young girl.”
“We are nudists,” I replied then quickly took a drink of the ice tea.
She raised an eyebrow when she repeated my explanation, “Nudists?”
“Yes, it’s the lifestyle we have chosen.”
“I have certainly heard of nudists but you were... , how can I say this?
“Had an erection?” I prompted.
“Yes exactly and you were touching that young girl.”
“Nudists believe in being natural in all aspects of the body. An erection is a natural reaction for males when pretty females are around so no one really pays any attention unless they are attracted sexually to each other. Do you understand what I am saying?”
“I think so. But you were touching the girl inappropriately.”
“Well not really. If it is by mutual consent it is allowed. It’s one of the ways we become comfortable with each other and bond with other nudists. It’s like a nudist handshake. Can you imagine how awkward it would be for a bunch of men, women and kids to be running around nude and no one could touch? Very archaic thinking wouldn’t you say?”
“Well, I don’t know. I would have to think about that.” I thought I noticed a bit of a smirk as Mrs. Bergman sipped her iced tea.
“I’m a little perplexed Mrs. Bergman. I was sure our privacy fence was high enough that we would not offend our neighbors who are not aware of the benefits of our lifestyle. How did you manage to see us?” I took another sip of the rather tasty iced tea.
“It’s quite evident from the guest bedroom upstairs.”
“Do you mind if I take a look? Maybe we can fix the problem and not offend you anymore.” Mrs. Bergman took my half-empty iced tea glass and put it on the counter and then led me upstairs to the guest bedroom.
“I was standing on this stool washing the window. As you will see when you stand on the stool you can see right into your backyard.” She explained.
I got on the stool and stood on the top step. “Yup, you’re right. You can see half of our pool and our back deck. It’s already a ten-foot high fence. I’m not sure what else we can do.” I hung my head and tried to look dejected. “I guess I will have to tell mom we can’t use the pool during the day anymore.” I let out a heavy sigh. “I am going to hate taking pills again to get my vitamin D. I’m one of those very rare people that suffer from vitamin D deficiency if I don’t get five times the daily amount of sunlight on my body as normal folks. Being a nudist helps tremendously.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that. Is it fatal?”
I thought I detected a bit of mockery but I pressed on, “No. I just break out in a terrible rash if I don’t get enough Vitamin D.”
“I am starting to understand why you are following the nudist lifestyle. I have read a little about nudists but I was not aware of the touching and bonding part so maybe I overreacted.”
“That’s okay I know it’s hard for people to understand until they try it. It would be seen as sexual to the uninitiated, but for nudists, it is a bonding that forms a closeness that’s almost Zen-like.”
“She laughed. “Are you saying that if I touch your penis we will bond and be friends for life? That’s ridiculous.”
“Of course that’s ridiculous. There so much more to it. Come here and let me show you.”
“What are you going to do?” As she stepped back a half step and held up her hand as if to ward me off.
“Nothing to be frightened of. Put your hands on my face.” She reached out tentatively and placed her hands on each side of my face. “Now close your eyes and get to know me. Feel my cheeks, my nose, and my ears.” She did as I asked. “Now I am going to touch your face and get to know you.” I concentrated on touching her ears her neck and her cheeks and forehead with just my fingertips. “What’s your first name?”
“You see Doris, we are getting to know each other. I sense a kindness in you. A love of people but you are a little lonely.”
“Yes, I am lonely with my son living on the west coast and my husband gone all the time.”
“Is he a truck driver?” Of course, I already knew he was a truck driver because I see his semi parked in the yard for a couple of days and then it is gone for a week or more.
“Yes. Long haul driver.”
“You see how this works? In just these few moments we have shared something of your life and I feel much closer to you. Now touch my arms. My side. Then my chest. Remember, keep your eyes closed.”
“They are closed.” She assured me.
“Tell me what you sense about me.”
Again she did as I asked. “Well, you seem to be a kind boy, friendly and very mature. I think you are bright and a good student. You know I think this is working. I do feel closer to you.”
“See, I told you. Now it’s my turn. I am going to touch you.”
“Do I keep my eyes closed?”
I ran my hands up and down her arms and over her shoulders. Then I put my hands on her waist and slid my hand up her sides just grazing the sides of her breasts. She flinched and held her breath then let it out but did not pull away. I ran my hands down her sides and lingered just a second on the sides of her breasts before I ran my fingers over her abdomen and down to her hips. “Oh my Doris, there is so much more to you than I realized.”
“What do you see? Tell me, what do you see?” She asked excitedly.
“A woman. A beautiful woman inside and out.” I ran my hands back up to rest on the sides of her breasts. “There is so much more I would like to know about you but I am afraid you are not ready to accept me in a way that would allow us to truly bond.”
“You mean more touching?”
“Yes.” I pressed my palms into the sides of her breasts. She sucked in her breath and pushed out her chest.
“I would like to try. Please can we try just a little more?”
“Are you sure. I would love to get to know you in ways few men have. But you may think it to intimate when I only think of it as a way to clear the obstacles that prevent us from becoming truly bonded friends.
“Please Mark. I want you. I mean I want to try and bond and be friends.”
Like I said before, she could lose a little weight but she was not all that bad considering she wasn’t wearing any makeup and just had her hair pulled back with a clip. I would describe her as a plain and average looking woman. As for what was under that blouse and skirt she was wearing I guess I was going to try and find out. She stood still, her hands at her side, her breasts slightly pushed out and closed her eyes again.
I cupped both her breasts and searched for her nipples with my thumbs. I wasn’t sure if I found them as I tried to feel them through her blouse and bra. But she leaned into my hands and put her hands on top of mine when I flicked my thumbs back and forth where I guessed they were.
“Oh yes Doris, there is so much more to know about you,” I said in what I thought was my most seductive voice.
“Yes, Mark. I want you to know me.”
I started unbuttoning her blouse. I had three buttons undone when her abundant cleavage was exposed along with her very conservative white bra. I undid two more buttons and pulled her blouse out of the waistband of her skirt. I undid the last button. I opened her blouse to find the mechanism that held her bra together. This one had four hooks in the back, a real workhorse. I pushed her blouse off her shoulders and down her arms and laid it on the bed behind me.
I went behind her and unhooked her bra and put my hands on her waist and ran them up her side until I could cup her freed breasts. Yes, they sagged a little. But what did you expect? They are a woman’s natural breasts, not a Hollywood boob job or a teenager’s budding boobs. I placed my hands under her loosely hanging bra. Her nipples were hard and erect and easy to find without even looking. I massaged them lightly with my palms. She leaned back into me and again pressed my hands tighter to her breasts.
“What are you learning about me, Mark?” She asked.
“That you are a very desirable woman and your husband does not know how lucky he is to have you.”
“Yes, you’re right. He should pay more attention to me. I have needs you know.”
“I can feel those needs in you. I also feel your need to express those needs to someone. Someone you trust to understand and perhaps fill that void until you feel you can express them openly with your husband.”
“I trust you. Oh, keep doing that.”
I gently squeezed her breasts. “Tell me what you are afraid to tell your husband.”
“I want to tell him to touch me more intimately with his hands and ... especially his lips.”
I turned her around and lowered the straps on her bra and let it slide down her arms and into my hands. I set it on the bed with her blouse. “Like this?” I kissed her breasts and sucked her swollen nipples.
“Yes just like that.”
“Maybe like this?” I put my right hand under the hem of her skirt and ran my hand up the inside of her thigh and cupped her mound through her panties.
“Oh god, Mark. Just like that. I want him to touch me there. I want him to take my panties off and lick me. He never licks me.”
“I feel your frustration. I am going to try and help you. I am starting to feel a bond between us. Do you feel it?”
I could hear the excitement in her voice, “Yes Mark I feel it. I know you can help me to be more open with my husband and fulfill my deepest desires.”
I went to unzip her skirt but Doris beat me to it. Her skirt fell to the floor and she stood before me in her granny panties and pink bunny slippers. She was a little thick around the middle and had a roundness to her tummy. Although I really liked her tits. They looked really comfy with her silver dollar size brown areola and large nipples teasing me.