Chapter 6

My shoulder smashed into Dr. Chaos’ forearms and we rebounded off one another as the entire bridge went from chaos to pure insanity. Alarms wailed. Female goons started to kick towards airlock doors – to arms lockers, to any random direction that they wanted to go. The rest of my friends, still chained to the pillar in the center of the bridge, wriggled and tried to get free. But my whole world was focused on one simple objective.

Break.

My.

Stupid.

Father’s.

Fucking.

Face.

I hit a far wall. My hand grabbed onto a bracing and I swung myself around. Chio’s corpse was floating up near the corner. Several goons were getting rifles from their arms lockers. Dr. Chaos, meanwhile, was pushing herself towards the central axis, where she could get out of the bridge and away from microgravity. I checked the parallax on the stars that were swirling outside of the window. The whole freaking Cockhammer was spinning slowly out of orbit. By my guess, my little bomb had just set the ship on a doom course that would drop us into the Atlantic in about, eh, four hours? Maybe less?

Then one of the female goons cried out. “Ready for a stabilization burn!”

Three darts distracted me from that. They thudded into the wall next to my head and I saw several female goons braced against the floor below me, shooting upwards. Their rifles bucked and hissed as compressed air sent the darts whistling towards me. I kicked off the wall and shot towards the nearest bit of cover that I could find – one of the consoles that had been tucked up and out of the way. I got between the console and the glass window. Darts thudded into it, clinking and clanking. Some rebounded and floated free in the air. It glittered green and smeared microgravity with liquid.

Tranq darts!

“I’m fucking insulted,” I growled.

Then one dart smashed into the console’s activation button and I learned why it was tucked into this corner.

It was the console that controlled the PA system and someone – likely Dr. Chaos – had plugged it into Dr. Chaos’ I-pod. And so, as the bridge continued to writhe with goons trying to right the chaos that had been unleashed, the first lines of One Week by the Barenaked Ladies started to fill the doomed space station.

“No. Now I’m insulted,” I whispered.

A goon with more bravery than common sense skidded along the wall I had vacated, using her momentum, the slickness of the wall, and the microgravity to basically swing herself into a perfect flanking position. I kicked towards her – a dart zipped past my shoulder, but then my arm wrapped around her, swinging her around. Three darts slammed into her and she went limp as the tranq got to work. I grabbed her rifle, then braced it under her limp armpit, and shot back. The two goons who had been shooting at me went sprawling backwards.

The song switched to Weird Al.

The hell?

I kicked the limp body away from me and checked the rifle. There were three dials that showed the compressed air, the number of tranq darts, and the number of lethal tungsten darts. I flicked the switch to lethal, and swung the rifle around.

My friends were all still struggling. Tabby had managed to get one hand free somehow, but she was busy warding off a girl who was trying to stab her with a hypo-spray. Could you stab someone with a hypo-spray? Meanwhile, Ice Spider (if you forgot, she was the sexy North Korean gal I knocked up, who then betrayed me and tried to have me killed? Apparently, Amanda and she had decided to work together.) It was a good thing too, since Ice had her legs locked around a blond girl who looked like she was trying to decide of being strangled by a lithe Asian assassin was really awesome or really annoying.

“Ice!” I shouted.

She looked up.

I fired.

And the chain that had kept Ice’s arms strapped to the central pillar popped open.

“Free the rest and get this station under control!” I said.

Then the entire bridge got gravity. Suddenly, what had been the wall or the ceiling or just a nearby surface was forced into a new context. The wall near me became the ceiling, and the wall furthest from me became the floor, and every goon and girl who hadn’t been braced screamed as they were suddenly tugged into a new direction. Fortunately, the engines didn’t burn at one gravity or anywhere even close. So, rather than splatting into the glass fifty feet below me, I just drifted gently down. My feet pressed and I saw several goons who hadn’t been able to swing themselves around in the air like me were struggling to get up.

My thumb flicked to tranq and I put each of them down with a single dart.

“Kimmyyyyyyyyy! They’re firing the laser!” Tabby screamed – she was dangling from her wrist and was using her free arm to hold onto the chain. But her feet were pointing. I looked and saw a girl goon with beautiful golden-brown skin had her hands wrapped around the controls on the Cockhammer. The readouts showed that the laser was only at twenty five percent. But I figured that was more than enough. I sprinted forward – and then crashed onto my breasts and bulge, skidding along the glass with a squeal. I looked back and saw one of the goons I had tranq’d had managed to grab my ankle.

“Bitch!” I kicked her in the face, and felt a bit bad, cause she was hot.

Then I was back on my feet. I sprinted to the edge of the window, leaped upwards, remembered too late that I wasn’t at one G, overshot the console I had been planning to leap off of, and faceplanted against a wall. My hands grabbed onto a micro-G handle and I swung myself to leap and stand on the main console, my legs spread to balance myself. The goon girl pulled her tranq pistol, but I kicked it from her palm.

“Kimmy!” Amanda shouted.

I saw what she was warning me about just in time. I dropped off the side of the console, grabbing onto the plastic edging, evading the haze of tranq darts sent my way by Hot. Hot, the head goon of Dr. Chaos, the woman who had killed Chio. Chio might have betrayed me, and she might have almost doomed the human race, but she was also in my harem and hot and ... I growled, then dragged myself upwards, taking advantage of the microgravity. I sailed above the goon at the console and brought my knee into contact with her face. Her head snapped backwards.

And the laser went off.

There was no sound, which made the sight of the brilliant blue beam washing over the two Space-X shuttles all the more horrifying.

“No!” I shouted – starting to drift down to land on the ground before Hot. She was casually reloading her dart pistol, her eyes unreadable as Dr. Chaos’ booming laugh cut into the PA – shutting off the current song, which was Tank by the Seatbelts.

Seriously, what the fuck was up with my evil genius of a dad’s playlist?

“Well, it seems that your reinforcements aren’t coming, Cum Dump. Hot, apprehend my daughter and take her to the fuck chamber. I’m going to rape the defiance out of her.” Dr. Chaos sounded gloating and annoyed at the same time.

“What a charmer,” I said to Hot.

Hot rolled her shoulders slowly. “What can I say, she pays good and has an amazing health plan.” She cracked her knuckles. This motion made her muscles flex deliciously underneath her dark brown skin. What was even more unfair was that she had remained in her “costume”, rather than getting into a space suit or something. This meant that roughly five million miles of perfect girl abs were exposed underneath her tank top, just demanding for me to trace every line with my tongue. I was almost drooling. And I was trying to be mad at her! She’d shot Chio!

“Do you just wanna fuck?” Hot asked, clearly seeing where my eyes were focused.

I smirked. “What I want is ... your ... head ... on my ... face...”

“So ... kissing?” Hot suggested.

“I want to ... fuck your ... ass!” I snarled.

“With lube?” Hot arched an eyebrow.

“Yes! I mean ... fuck!” I swore. And that was when Hot kicked me in the head. She even timed it for the next song to come onto the playlist.

It was Duel of the Fates by John Williams because fuck Dr. Chaos, seriously. I had time to reflect on this as I cartwheeled through the air, then smashed into a console. Sparks flew as I groaned and tried to get my bearings. But Hot wasn’t rushing towards me. She was just ambling forward, checking her pistol. Amanda dropped down behind her – drifting down as silently and as slowly as a snowflake. I dared not shift my gaze – I glared right at Hot as she lifted up her pistol.

She pulled the trigger. I rolled to the side and the tranq dart smashed into the console I had dented. Hot then drove her elbow backwards, sending Amanda soaring away. I sprang forward – sailing in a smooth, parabolic arc through the low gravity of the bridge. Or at least, that had been my plan, because at that moment, the thrusters cut out and the station resumed its stable orbit. Which meant it was no longer spinning, which meant that it was no longer providing even light gravity, which meant that I kept shooting upwards until my palms slapped against the far wall.

Hot traced me with her gun, firing darts with a kind of lazy contempt. They thumped through the wall behind me ... and I realized it wasn’t contempt.

The tungsten tipped darts punched through the armored hull of the bridge and left gaping holes, which suddenly screamed with air rushing through them. The wind swept against me and dragged me back and within a few seconds, my back was smacked up against the holes. It felt fucking cold as balls, and the seal was far from perfect, but it had also pinned me nicely in place for a few seconds.

Hot was about to shoot me with the tranq darts when Ice Spider and Amanda both joined the fray at the same time. Amanda came from her left, screaming in rage, while Ice Spider just opened fire with her “borrowed” tranq-dart rifle. Hot flung herself to the side and the tranq darts all hit Amanda, who sprawled in microgravity. She looked adorable knocked out, but that was beside the fucking point! Ice re-targeted, but Hot shot her twice in the chest.

By this time, I had gotten my palms against the wall and shoved myself away from the holes. I ripped off a floating goon’s shirt, leaving her beautiful black titties jiggling free in the microgravity, and jammed it into the holes. The seal squeaked as air went from roaring through to just kinda whistling through. Hot, by that point, was starting to reload the dart pistol. But as she reloaded, Dr. Chaos’ voice screeched through the PA.

“Hoooooooot! Stop fucking around and get outside!”

Both of us snapped our heads around.

The two Space-X shuttles had come within a few hundred meters of the station. They had opened like flowers ... and before my eyes, dozens of US marines were spilling into space. Their space-suits were painted a dark green-gray, and their rifles were clearly pressurized dart guns. They moved with some clumsiness, but at their head was a figure wearing a dark black jumpsuit with a yellow stripe along the arm.

I was near to a communication console. I slapped on the broadband and asked: “Alex!?”

“Well, I guess it’s Alexa now,” Alex said – sounding utterly chipper and super fucking fuckable as a girl, oh my fucking good, if there wasn’t at least five hundred feet of hard vacuum between us, I’d be balls deep in her so fucking fast. “At least until I get a manification pill.”

“B-But but but-” Tabby broke in, spluttering. “You were both hit with a laser genetic combonification, you should mostly be dead!” She finally got her second wrist free from her restraints and kicked towards me. As we floated near the console, Alexa giggled girlishly and my balls were tingling with the need for her pussy. I bet Alex made such a cute girl and I bet her pussy was so fucking tight.

“I’m an S-gene. We’re tough. As for the rest...” there was a pause and I noticed something about the marines.

They were all in rather ... curvy spacesuits.

“ ... well, ladies. Why don’t we show these bimbos what the 109th Space Harpies can do!” Alexa said.

“Oorah!” Dozens of female voices came through the speaker – though one woman chipped in with: “Hey, lets not sex shame them. There’s no need for that.”

“ ... it does make sense to have an all female space fighting regiment, now that I think about it,” Tabby said, nodding as she floated beside me. Her fingers caressed her chin, her brow furrowing the large black SLUT written across her pale skin, turning it into SIOI. “Women do take less reaction mass to put into space, cause we’re lighter, and women handle microgravity and radiation and-”

“Guys!” Marcy broke in. “Hot’s escaping!”

Tabby and I spun around and saw the hatch close. Seal. Click.

And the entire bridge was jettisoned from the Cockhammer by a series of timed demolitions – sending us tumbling away from the space station and into freefall! My arms cartwheeled as I tried to keep balance – since the explosions had imparted a lot of spin to the bridge, meaning that all the still conscious goons were sent skidding towards a new “floor”, squealing in alarm and confusion. Once the momentum stopped sending my inner ear for a loop, I checked to see what we had. We had Tabby, about fifteen panicky looking girl goons, zero space suits, several tranq pistols, a single fire extinguisher, a bunch of computer equipment, five holes that were mostly plugged, and a pair of space shuttles that looked a bit busy, since Hot was currently prepping to launch the Cockhammer’s entire compliment for the first pitched space battle that I was aware of.

“This is bad,” I said.

“It’s worse!” Tabby pointed. “There’s a secondary bridge near the tip of the Cockhammer. It might not have access to the computers, but I don’t think you need them to fire the dang thing!”

I nodded. “How long before the laser is ready to fire again?”

“Five ... six minutes?” Tabby guesstimated.

“How long to build a spacesuit from what we have here?” I asked.

“Ten!” Tabby said, brightly, then swore. “Damn it!”

“Ten is longer than five,” I said. “Okay. I think I know what to do.” I kissed Tabby on the cheek. “Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast.”

“I, what?” she blinked. “Where are you going to get an alligator from!?”

But I was already at the airlock. The inner door started to whirr shut behind me and I did what didn’t make much sense unless you’ve actually trained for it. And I hadn’t. But I did read a lot and when I wasn’t distracted by Hot’s ah-maze-ing girlabs, I was pretty smart. I started to breathe out. Which was good, cause it meant I had nothing to scream with when Amanda flopped into the airlock next to me. She sprawled, then forced herself to her feet, groaning.

“Weak ass tranq darts, can’t even work through blistering rage,” Amanda snarled – though she did slur slightly. The airlock door shut above me and I breathed in.

“What are you doing!?” I asked.

“You’re gonna need a pilot,” she said, stubbornly.

“Amanda, you ... you...” I grabbed her. And I kissed her. Hard. My tongue and hers met and played and it was kind of like being jettisoned into space. My skin prickled and my ears popped and hissed as tiny bits of moisture boiled along my eardrums. I felt cold and hot at the same time, like the sun was shining on me and hard vacuum was sucking my body heat away. My eyes blurred and I saw stars.

Oh, wait, that was because we had been jettisoned into space.

I broke the kiss, looking around. My lungs burned – but since I hadn’t had any air in them, they didn’t explode as the air rushed out of my mouth. That’s why you jettison without any air in your lungs, kiddos.

And that was when Amanda lifted up the fire extinguisher in her other hand. In the eerie silence of space, she triggered it. Foam exploded above us and, with the same expertise that let her rescue a bunch of people from a burning, crashing helicarrier, she flew us right towards the airlock on the side of the Cockhammer. We rushed past the brightly colored goons and the darkly colored marines, and I caught faint glimpses of laser light and tranq darts rushing through the emptiness of space. Then our backs crashed into hard metal and the airlock doors slammed shut and air rushed in. I gasped in air.

“Told you,” Amanda hissed.

The entire center of the Cockhammer was built around its laser – aimed like some massive dick, ready to spooge evil over the planet earth. Which made the name make a lot more sense now that I thought about it. Amanda took the time it took to jog from the airlock to the central hatch into the laser array to shake off what was left of the tranq. We had grabbed up tranq pistols from arm lockers as we ran, and once we got to the hatch, I paused.

“You ready, bitchtits?” I asked.

“For anything, thick-dick,” she purred back.

I grinned. “I think I love you, Amanda O’Neill.”

The words popped out. Like air in the lungs when you’re vented into space.

Amanda blinked. Then she rolled her eyes. “Fucking S-Genes,” she said. “Always so fuckin’ dramatic.”

Then she swung into the laser array, leaving me stammering: “W-Wait, what does that mean!?”

I followed her. The laser array, like the bridge, was in microgravity, which I was getting real sick of. The main array was a collection of focusing apertures and gas chambers that were used to create and enhance the laser. Every ten feet or so, there were cables running into the walls, where containers full of science goop waited to be infused into the laser. At the very bottom of the long tunnel, there was the secondary bridge, where Dr. Chaos was strapped into a chair, grumbling under her breath.

“TASK, TASK, TASK, it’s always TASK being so troublesome,” she snarled.

She was dressed in her combat armor now – having taken the time it took to go from the bridge to her to go all Lex Luthor on us. The armor had an arm mounted laser gun and two shoulder mounted dart guns, which looked like they were set to track on eye movements. Those were new. Her fingers touched controls and I could see the open hole the laser would shoot through. The Cockhammer was aiming directly at the Earth’s oceans. I frowned.

If the laser worked the way I thought it did, she’d want to wait until they were nearer to the equator, to ensure that the whole planet was bathed in the transformation ray. But since we were looking at ocean and had no landmasses to compare against, and the bridge with all its aimy computery bits was currently slowly spinning away from the station ... we’d have to wait to see Africa or South America or something to know we were aimed at the right place.

So, we had roughly until then to stop a mad-woman in power armor, armed with nothing but tranq pistols.

Goodie.

“How is the fight going out there, Hot?” Dr. Chaos asked, not looking up.

I started to push myself gently forward – trying to move slowly and carefully. Amanda spidered along the wall next to me. We both crept further and further down the laser array. As we came closer, Hot’s voice crackled through the speakers.

“Pretty bad, m’Lady. Turns out the-” There was a grunt. “Marines are kinda good at their jobs.”

“I don’t keep you around to be beaten by some ... jarheads!” Dr. Chaos roared into the com array.

“It’s not me that’s the problem,” Hot said, sounding rather calm about it all. “They keep picking off the rest of the goons. Who, I remind you, you picked.”

Dr. Chaos simmered, her face flushing as she clenched her hands – the servos on her armor whirring and groaning. “I picked them for breeding stock and brains, not for being trained killers!”

“Never said that it was a bad plan, just, you know. Doesn’t mean they can beat the USMC,” Hot said – the faint chattering sound of her rifle going full auto being transmitted through her suit and into the radio. Dr. Chaos tapped her fingers on the desktop, the impacts of the power armored fingers actually denting the metal. By this point, we had gotten so close that we couldn’t possibly miss. I glanced at Amanda. She was braced, with cover behind a protrusion of metal. I moved into a similar position.

I nodded to her.

We both pulled our triggers.

And both of our guns squealed and hooted and flashed red – refusing to fire at Dr. Chaos.

She sighed loudly. “Cum Dump...” she looked up at me. “I make mistakes. But I try to avoid obvious ones.”

And she launched herself at me. Her armor sent her flying upwards, gas jets in the shoulders and arms flaring as she slowed and twisted around the laser, bringing herself around so that she could swing her fist at my head. I barely managed to evade the blow – which screeched along metal. The laser was starting to whirr around us. I kicked upwards, forcing Dr. Chaos to match the movement, her gas jets puffing and clacking as she soared after me.

“You’re a very naughty girl, Cum Dump!” She snarled, reaching up and grabbing onto my ankle. The tight metal was impossible to escape from and she yanked me down to her level. She smirked at me and I glared – trying to wriggle free. But then she grabbed my wrist and squeezed just hard enough to send shooting pain along my arm. I gasped and choked. Dr. Chaos ground her mechanized codpiece against me and I felt a whirring sound ... and saw that her armor had an augmented dong too. The metallic, gleaming member was twice as big as her normal one. Which made sense, if the armor was designed to enhance everything about her. “Maybe I should introduce you to the womb smasher.”

The cock whirred and the tip started to glow bright red.

I looked at her. “Why?” I hissed. “Why all of this?”

“Because. It’s. Fun.” Dr. Chaos’ eyes glittered. “And don’t worry. It’s set to orgasm, not kill.”