Chapter 135

~~Jack~~

As the two of them sat on his couch in his old apartment, he spared no detail. It wasn’t exactly new information for Elaine; they’d have this conversation already. But it was obvious she wanted more info about the emotional side of the Ripper, about how he thought, how he felt, how the fucker took over Jack and basically became a new person. She wanted the information Jack had kept a little vague, to spare Antoinette. Of course, the Prince likely inferred a lot of it, but that didn’t mean Jack was going to say it.

He described to his great grandsire, what it felt like to want to see someone die. Not delight in killing, because as horrible as that was, it didn’t really get across how alien, weird, and absolutely fucking vile the curse was. To actually want to see the life go out in someone’s eyes, because it scratched an itch that was basically existential for the curse, that’s what Jack told her now. The Ripper would forever be furious, even if he piled a mountain of corpses, and fucked one in front of his next target, instilling disgust and fear in enemies and prey alike. A strange mix of unadulterated rage and carnal delight, aggression and hunger swirled into something only a genuine psychopath could empathize with.

He described what it was like before the curse was released, when those emotions and desires mixed with his own, and Elaine nodded as she closed her eyes, reminiscing. How much of her savage past she could remember, he didn’t know, but based on the subtle smile, she could remember enough, and she sorta missed it. Missing it was not the reaction he expected to see, but if she expressed it now, it was because she felt comfortable letting him know she did.

Good thing Veronica didn’t get to hear any of this. She’d run from Jack, screaming.

“Truly an abhorrent creation, this Ripper curse,” Elaine said, opening her eyes.

“You uh, don’t really seem like you think it’s abhorrent.”

She shrugged and leaned in closer. “When you have seen murder and carnage on the scale that I have, you become ... jaded.”

“And, what? You miss not being jaded? You miss the thrill of killing people? Cause I’ve never been thrilled. The curse has, I haven’t. Killing people just ... hurts, and makes me sick.”

“I do not believe you.”

“What? I—”

She came in so close, she could have kissed him. “At the height of blood lust and violence, in battle, where emotions run rampant, even kine can give into an urge so primal and instinctual, that killing becomes satisfying. And you, my childe, have a Beast, a part of you that both understands that, and craves it, as all vampires do. Try as you might to deny it, the Beast is not some dog on a leash you can order. It is a part of you, and it delights in the kill.”

She had him there. Much as it sucked to admit it, the vampire part of him enjoyed killing; at least, when it came to securing power, safety, or resources. Hell, even the human part of him found an inkling of satisfaction from it, hidden underneath all the nausea and terror. But it wasn’t the same as what the curse wanted.

“What are you driving at?”

“I simply wanted to ... see, a part of you I know you keep from my friend. You are far too self sacrificing an individual to let Ann know how truly depraved the emotions of the curse are, and how his desires affected your own, before your separation.”

What a load of crap. She wasn’t lying, but it was a half truth; fucking worse than any lie. And she knew he knew that, from the twinkle in her eye.

“Come on Elaine, enough with the games. I suck at them. Just tell me what you want.”

She sighed, her fun ruined. “I seek to understand the curse, Jack.”

“Understand?”

“The Strix placed it upon my sire, so many centuries ago. She sired me. I sired Viktor, and so on. The curse infected us and spread through us. The curse colored our perceptions and emotions for ages. I left Viktor to his fate, and disappeared into the world to find the ritual to save me from its influence.” She glanced down, weight pulling her eyes to the floor, before she corrected the error and smiled at him again. “And before then, as I once told you, I ran with wolves through forests, and I gave into the curse’s lust for violence and death.”

“But you regained control of yourself, right? I mean, you came back to civilization, sired Viktor while you still had the curse, and—”

She held up a hand. “Its dark urges danced within me without relent, but by then I had learned to coexist with them. I pretended to be a creature of the night, but one with a secret; seducing a rich man was easy. Viktor took me to his balls and gatherings, and dressed me in clothes to make me presentable. And when people were gone, I would fuck him, and Kiss him, and feed him my blood. Eventually, I sired him, in the darkness and the empty streets of night. I fled soon after, leaving Viktor to his fate, as I only then finally realized the curse had to be removed.” Sighing, she turned back to face the wall with the television, and the nearby door where Veronica was out like a light. “I remember no details, as confounding and frustrating as that is. I can vaguely remember running through the dark, naked in the woods. I can remember blood, and pain. I can remember hunger and desire, wanton violence, urges that overwhelmed me, boiling up from the curse.”

“And you want that back?”

“I want to understand, and appreciate it, in a way that...” Elaine sighed, and slumped. Seeing a five-hundred-year-old vampire slump, posture ruined and back curving into the couch, was a really strange sight, and Jack raised a brow. “I suppose I am seeking punishment, for passing this curse on, and then leaving Viktor to deal with it. I did not know that would happen, and yet, I feel guilt for it.”

He half frowned, half smiled. The whole situation was confusing, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what she wanted. And it seemed like, neither could she, cause there was more to it than a guilt complex.

“I can remember in vivid detail what it was like before I freed the curse, Elaine. I couldn’t even say Angela’s name without frothing at the mouth with overwhelming, ridiculous, juvenile rage. But I also felt power with it, power and bloodlust and even bits of strange bliss.” He scratched his hair, and slouched back into the couch too, almost touching shoulders with her; woman was too tall. “So, there were tiny bits of pleasure, from feeling that kind of power, very dark side. But mostly it was just pain and self loathing, when the rush was over. I felt ... inhuman.”

“But you are not human. You are a vampire.”

He frowned at her and shook his head. “Is that what this is actually about? You’re ... missing that part?” It was a pretty old story, and an integral one to Kindred, far as Jack knew. Vampires had to fight against their Beastly nature, every night of their second lives, or they’d rot away and become nothing more than a draugr, a mindless husk only capable of hunting and killing.

She looked away, and unless he was seeing things, that was shame on her face. “It has been a long time since I have felt ... I do not know. Human? Empathy is a difficult thing for a vampire as old as I. Emotions are difficult to summon. Antoinette and I, much of our friendship is based on shared goals, playful rivalry, and sexual compatibility, not empathy.”

He tried his hardest to keep his face straight when she brought up sexual compatibility. Fail. She laughed, and her shame melted away, making him smile.

“I get it, you know? Antoinette and I have talked about this before, about what it’s like for her, being as old as she is. For a long time, she thought our relationship was really just her, uh, mooching off me.”

“Mooching?”

“Yeah, cause I got this habit of wearing my emotions on my sleeve, when I’m comfortable with someone. I’m honest, to a fault, and Antoinette says she can see it all in my eyes. And she says she feeds on that, and...” Sighing, a happy sound, he relaxed back against his couch again, and smiled at Elaine. “Is that what all this is about? This interest you have in this curse? You came to Dolareido to investigate me, because Antoinette told you how psychotic the curse is, and that triggered ... what, some emotional memories?”

Her face slowly smoothed back into a stony visage. “Perhaps.”

Bingo. There was more to this than a guilt complex, or a hunt for understanding the curse.

“Elaine, I’m sure you have a lot of reasons for coming to Dolareido, and more than just what we’re talking about right now. But, the curse? It’s not human either, and I don’t even think the Beast can feel the sort of joyful hate and rage it does. Yeah, humans can crave violence, and be angry, and the Beast can crave the hunt, but the curse isn’t like that. It’s ... it’s so much darker. It’s ... the sort of mindless rage and hate you’d expect of ... a ghost, tormented for years and devoid of any reasoning.” He groaned and shook his head. It was too easy to see Mary becoming that ghost. “Mindless hate, and the animal aggression you’d find in a wounded, rabid, starving animal. The weird joy I felt back then, what the curse feels, it’s sick, and twisted, and no human — or vampire — could ever feel that way. You don’t want that, ok? You’re better off.”

She slowly frowned and looked down. “Am I?”

“Yes, you are.” He sat up, and set a hand on her leg. That shocked her. Whenever they interacted, he made sure to avoid touching her; she was a sexual woman, and he didn’t want to trigger something Antoinette might disagree with. But now, he squeezed her knee gently, and smiled at her. “Antoinette’s told me a lot about what it’s like, being as old as her. And I know a thing or two about the shit you must have dealt with, when you still had the curse. So, how about instead of plotting whatever you’re plotting, scheming whatever you’re scheming, just hang out in Dolareido for a while?”

And just like that, her frown turned into a smile. Slowly though, carefully, like how she probably approached everything, including this conversation.

“To what end?”

“Well, you’re my great grandsire. We’re family ... in a weird sort of way. And, well, you’ve got that thing going on, the whole ‘I smile a lot and I’m a powerful seductress, but I’m secretly depressed’ thing going on. Maybe hanging out here for a while will help.”

For all the ancient elder’s self control, he managed to earn a proper laugh out of her, complete with a cough of surprise.

“You, little Ventrue, are a delectable, and dangerously discerning individual. You are nothing like your mother.”

He grinned at her. She was only half right. He got his dad’s brain, sure, but he got his mom’s heart.

~~Beatrice~~

Triss leaned back against the mound of blankets in her alcove, and a quiet, deep groan worked its way up her throat, as Jennifer kissed her clitoris and piercing. Triss was trying to think about all the shit that’d happened, about Black Blood’s conversation with Jack, about the curse, about her old boss Garry about to start shit with the Invictus, but it was damn hard to think at all with a sexpert molesting her.

Triss turned her head, set the side of her face on the blankets, and looked out of her alcove to the big cavern. Othello wasn’t there. Probably out with Madison. Hell, maybe he was actually out doing witchy things? Dude was dumb, but you didn’t live to be his age without picking up at least a few things.

Ripples of pleasure spread outward from her insides, and she clenched down on the two fingers pressing up toward her pussy through her ass. The rolling waves hit her, head to toe, and she quivered as Jennifer eased her kissing, but kept her lips around her clit, while fingering her harder. Slut knew exactly how to make Triss cum, and milk her for it.

As the waves passed, Triss relaxed back against the blankets, only to tense up again as her ears picked up on some noise. But after a few seconds, she recognized the footsteps, and she relaxed again as Samantha inevitably came into view, Jacob behind her.

“Oh!” Samantha said, and she brought up a hand to cover her mouth. “You ... you two, always out in the open!”

Triss shrugged. Jen sat up and laughed. Jacob grinned, gave Samantha a playful slap on the ass, and shoved her. Samantha squeaked as she fell, landed on Jennifer, and on Triss at that, one of her hands planting into Triss’s abs.

“Jacob, you fucking asshole,” Triss said, rolling her eyes.

She expected Samantha to get up instantly, embarrassed as she was. But she didn’t. Samantha gulped, looked Beatrice straight in her snake eyes, before her gaze drifted down over Triss’s body, her tattoos and piercings, her abs, and down her smooth mons to where her clit-hood ring sat. A small chain dangled from the piercing tonight, something Jen asked for, and it jingled as her friend continued to finger her ass.

Jen, a total jackass, pumped her fingers up and down harder, now that they had a guest, earning a burst of pleasure from Triss and her clenching slit. She’d just cum, and Jen was never happy till she’d gotten a few more out of her, the damn woman.

Again, Triss expected Sam to back off. But again she didn’t. She stared down at Triss’s flexing stomach, her spread thighs, her bouncing clit chain, and the two fingers working up and down in her ass. Insides already swollen and aching with pleasure, it didn’t take long for Triss’s muscles to boil, and waves of pleasure to spread out from where Jen’s fingers pressed up against her pussy. Plus, the damn chain kept bouncing around, hitting her engorged clit over and over.

She came again, and clenched down on her empty cunt, hard. A tiny shot of juices landed on Jen’s wrist, and then another, and another, as the damn Ventrue fingered her even harder. Didn’t take Jen long to have Triss’s thighs rippling with the impact of her fingers. Only after the fifth little squirt did Jen finally ease up; stayed inside Triss, gently curling her fingers up again and again to milk Triss like a damn cow, but at least eased up.

And even as Triss came down from her orgasm high, dragged out by Jen’s constant milking, Sam didn’t back off. Hell, she looked utterly hypnotized, eyes still locked onto Triss’s slit and where Jen’s fingers spread her thoroughly lubed ass. And Sam’s hand, still pressed to Triss’s abs, gently flexed and unflexed at the fingertips.

Reality came flooding back to the Daeva, and she yanked her hand back with a gasp.

“Sorry! Sorry. Just, you ... you’re so beautiful.”

“Ha, beautiful?” Triss pulled some of her dark hair aside and exposed her crocodile fangs, and, of fucking course, the lack of cheeks.

Sam shook her head. “Yeah, those are scary. B-But...” She looked behind her to Jacob, before she looked back to Triss with a smile. “And your abs are amazing.”

Triss burst into laughter, and pulled herself back up a bit to sit more upright on the blankets against the alcove wall. Jen didn’t take the hint. She just lay between Triss’s thighs instead of kneeling, got comfy on her side, and continued fingering her ass.

For a brief moment, Triss remembered a moment with Julias. Him, her, before shit got crazy, before Jen, before the hunters. She’d admitted to him then that she really got turned on by the idea of being watched; they promptly fucked on the couch, after she’d spent some time masturbating for him. Christ, that was a fucking lifetime ago.

And now she had a fucking audience. Jen watched of course, cause the damn slut loved to watch her handiwork. Othello and Madison were often around, and they took a peek, frequently. Hell, even Aaron took a peek sometimes. Sam and Jacob though? Jacob had probably experienced every kink known to man and then some. Him seeing Triss get fingered in the ass didn’t mean anything. But Sam? Sam was brand new to the world of vampires, and the world of kinky sex. And she was, evidently, a total hornball. Having her around, watching Triss, totally hypnotized by it, hit Triss’s horny bone in just the right place.

Triss relaxed back against the blankets, spread her thighs a bit more, and cupped one of her tits and massaged it, while her other hand reached down and massaged her pussy’s lips. Hey, she liked Sam. Sam was nice. Sam was randy as fuck, twenty-four seven. Having her watch had Triss wanting to show off, and she did just that. She spread her slit’s lips as she massaged them, and clenched down several times, knowing full well it’d put her insides on display, and all the juices leaking out of her.

Sam stared, frozen like a statue. Her eyes drifted some more, running up Triss’s abs again, and the snake tattoo, up from its tail above her clit, to where it coiled around and bit into one of Triss’s nipples. Her eyes drifted down again, and stared hard at Triss’s spread open pussy as pleasure tremors shot up through Triss’s body, causing her to moan, and squirt a couple more tiny splashes onto Jen’s wrist. Damn, Sam was totally into watching.

Which suited Triss just fine.

A few hours later, Jacob and Samantha came out of his alcove, and into the center of the cave. He wore a suit, and Samantha wore nothing but a blanket. The man grinned at her, kissed her, and left, leaving Samantha standing in the cave alone.

So Samantha did what she always did when Jacob left, disappearing into the night to do whatever the fuck the man did in his free time: she came over and stood in Jen and Beatrice’s alcove entrance. Jen and Triss were still naked, sitting and leaning back against their blankets and pillows, talking, about Jacob, about what he did those few nights ago, about Jack and the werewolves and Garry’s inevitable push against the Invictus.

They shut up though, when Sam joined them. She had a necklace on, a subtle thing, and she fiddled with it with a finger and thumb as she walked over to them. Gift from Jacob, maybe?

“You two,” Sam said, “you never cover up. Even after I ... saw.”

Triss shrugged. “I used to, but after hanging out with these horny witches for, what, over a couple years now Jen? Don’t even notice the nudity anymore.”

Jen nodded, and nuzzled into Triss’s side. “It hardly matters to any vampire with a few years under their belt, let alone members of the Circle of the Crone. I imagine if you wandered your Prince’s tower enough, Samantha, you’d find Antoinette naked with her lover all the time.”

Samantha groaned at that and shook her head. “Ugh, don’t say that. I don’t think I could handle seeing Jack and my sire having sex.”

Triss laughed and shrugged. “That white-haired bitch seems pretty damn happy with him, so he must be good at it.”

“That’s worse! Jack is too young to be good at sex!”

Triss and Jen laughed, and Sam laughed too, eventually, and sat down with them. She didn’t do a good job keeping the blanket snug, exposing her legs quite a bit. Yeap, the witches were rubbing off on her.

“Keep your head down from now on, Sam,” Triss said.

“Because of what happened a few days ago? Antoinette told me about it. Jack ... I haven’t talked to him yet.”

“Probably should give him some space. I got a peek at the aftermath, and he was pretty beat up. I’m sure the Prince is pampering him while he recovers, but he’ll ... well, knowing Jack, he’ll want to deal with shit on his own and keep you from seeing it.”

Sam sighed, and leaned back against the pile of blankets, only a couple feet away from Triss. “Yeah, you’re right. Jack’s too damn stubborn to ever ask for help, unless it was tactical.”

“Ha, tactical. Yeah, that sounds like Jack.” Triss shrugged and gestured to Sam with a hand. “Awkwardness aside, you must be proud of him. He’s changed the Danse Macabre for the whole city in just a few years.”

“I am! I am, but ... I’m worried for him. People ... Kindred die, and it’s so scary, hearing about all these sad things.”

Before Triss could say anything, something along the lines of ‘yeah it sucks’, Jen tapped Triss on the shoulder.

“Samantha,” Jen said, “it is scary, and horrible. No one should have to go through what you did, or Beatrice, or Jack. But, you’re immortal now. Don’t make decisions to avoid pain or awkwardness in the moment. Play for the long game.”

Samantha sighed and nodded, looking down at her knees. “How long?”

Jen reached across Triss’s leg, and tapped Sam on a knee. “You were probably saving up your RSPs before you were embraced, yes?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Well, make all decisions the same way you made that decision. Plan for things twenty to forty years in the future, because it’s a reality that you’ll see those years. Not only will you see them, you’ll be stronger, more powerful, smarter, and better equipped to reap the benefits.”

Slowly, Sam’s frown faded, and a smile appeared. She was finally getting it.

“I won’t be old and weak in thirty years. I’ll be even stronger than I am now.”

“Yeap,” Triss said. “Don’t make the mistakes I made.”

“Mistakes?”

“Ha, yeah. I hung around in crypts for twenty years, wasting my time fighting the Invictus as a Carthian, and pissing away my years cause I thought ... well, I didn’t think. I just reacted to shit around me, cause I was angry.”

“Angry?”

Triss pointed at her face. “Nosferatu asshole stalker embraced me. Not my choice. I woke up with a hunger for blood and a crocodile mouth.”

Samantha winced and looked down again. “That’s horrible.”

“Yeah, it was, and it really fucked me up for a long time. But if I’d pulled my head out of my ass and stopped looking back at the human life I missed, I could have learned to enjoy actually being a vampire. Could have met people like ... Julias. Could have made a fortune. Could have gotten laid more. Could have done a lot of things.” She was doing that now, just not in a way she could have possibly expected. Becoming a witch, learning rituals, learning to control the world with what was basically magic, no fucking way could she have predicted that. “Besides, a lot of Nosferatu have it worse than Jacob or me. Bob in the tunnels looks like one of those classic, creepy gross vampires. Liliana is usually with him, and half of her face is covered in eyes. But, if they can pull themselves together, maybe they’ll grow up to be the next Maria.”

They all shivered. A pretty awesome goal for any Nosferatu, but at the same time, Maria the corpse lady was fucking terrifying.

“Yeah, I can do that. I can play the long game,” Sam said. “But, all these horrible things are happening right now!”

Jen nodded. “That’s why Garry and Michael, and Antoinette for that matter, aren’t just throwing themselves into the grinder haphazardly. They’re old, and they’d like to get older. This war building between the Invictus and Carthians has been decades in the making, Sam, and Antoinette’s playing for centuries. So she’s going to sit back and wait, and only act when she sees the perfect opportunity.”

“B-But, Jack’s going to get hurt, and not in decades, but maybe in these next few months! And—”

Jen held up a hand. “The boy continues to surprise everyone, Samantha. Trust him.”

She frowned, a motherly ‘I know my son’ sorta frown. Sure, she probably trusted him to be efficient and effective at anything he put his mind to, but didn’t trust him to rely on other people for personal shit.

Beatrice laughed and looked at Jen. Jen traded a look with her, and a memory sparked between them, turning their smiles into sad little frowns. Now? Might as well be now.

“Hey, Samantha,” Triss said.

“Yeah?”

“What’s Antoinette told you about Elen?”

“Elen? The hunter, or, uh, the old woman that worked with them? I know Jacob has her locked up somewhere, but that’s it.”

Sighing, Triss sat up, Jen too, and they both leaned in. Samantha gulped, and leaned in as well.

“Jacob’s given me the witch,” Triss said.

Samantha raised a brow. “Witch, like you?”

“Er, kinda? She’s different. She’s more like a ... I don’t know if there’s a word for it. Fleshmancer? She uses blood, muscle, bones, all that kinda stuff, and somehow manages to do some very fucked up shit with them. Like, that old Egyptian thing, haruspex? She’s done that, with humans.”

“Oh god!”

“Yeah, lot of fucked up shit. But she’s, uh, pretty much dead in the head. Think major dementia, but worse. She’s a sick, ruthless bitch, but so clueless, she’s running on autopilot. And I’m trying to make her work for me.”

Samantha frowned at her. “What? Why?”

“Because I ... it’s...” Jesus, how to say this and not sound like she was insane. “She can do some amazing things, you know? Jeremiah and Angela, they used her as a weapon, but I’m thinking she can do some good. She can do things that ... maybe...” Yeap, she was going to sound like an insane person. “She might be able to give me back something. Hell, maybe you, too.”

“Get us back something? What?”

Time for the hard part.

“I think Elen can ... can maybe rebuild people, people we’ve lost.”

Samantha stared at her, not understanding her. But slowly, her eyes widened, and she sat up straight and away.

“You ... you don’t mean...” The Daeva’s hand shot up to her necklace.

Beatrice held up her hands in surrender before lowering them. “I’m trying, just trying. Jacob says I’ll probably fail, but still thinks it’s worth chasing, you know? There’s something here, a chance, and I’d be a fucking moron not to try. I have to ... to try something.”

Triss took a peek at Jen. Her friend looked back to her, but her sad gaze fell to Samantha, who was looking more and more excited by the minute. Watching her face was like riding an emotional rollercoaster by proxy. Excited, then happy, then scared, then sad, then angry, then excited again.

“That’s scary, Beatrice. That’s really, really scary.”

“You’re telling me. But I have to try. I owe it to...” Did she owe it to Julias? The man died a hero, and left her. Did she owe it to Jacob? He’d given her the tools, but she’d put in the time, the pain, and the misery. “I owe it to myself to try. If I can have him back, if even for only a little bit, then it’s worth a try, right? It wasn’t fair, what happened. It wasn’t fair to him, and especially not...” No need to say it. It wasn’t fair to Mary, just a girl who happened to be related to someone involved.

Samantha clutched the blanket around her with one hand, and her necklace with the other. “No. It wasn’t fair.”

“So, I’m gonna try. Crúac rituals, they’ll help. There are things I can try, and some of them are nasty, but I’ll try them.”

“Will ... will anyone get hurt?”

Triss shook her head. “Only people who deserve it, and even then, only when I have to.” Before Samantha could ask what she meant, Triss shook her head again. “You’re happier not knowing the details, Sam. Just be happy knowing the only people getting hurt deserve it.” After a few seconds to process, Sam nodded, and Triss continued. “The issue isn’t that, though. The issue is Elen can’t do much without her book.”

“Book? Oh! Oh, the stuff my sire took, after Jack beat the hunters. Oh ... oooh...” She gulped and looked down. Yep, there it was, realization of what Triss was asking. “I ... don’t know if I can do that.”

“This isn’t a request you have to say yes or no to, Samantha, not now at least. But think about it, ok? I’m gonna keep trying. I have time, all the time in the world, and Elen’s immortal, somehow. She’s not going anywhere.”

Samantha clutched her necklace a little tighter, before letting it go and grabbing her blanket with both hands. “You can’t just ask Antoinette for the book?”

Jennifer spoke this time. “Antoinette and Jacob are old friends, Samantha, very old friends. But the Prince doesn’t trust him or the Circle enough to simply give us something that dangerous, especially after what we saw Elen do with it.”

“I know Jacob and my sire have a history,” Samantha said, raising her eyes, “but she can’t think that badly of him, if she’s letting me date him, right?”

Triss shrugged. “Not really the same, I guess. She probably trusts him with him a person. But with ... power? Probably not so much. But you’ve been seeing Jacob for a little while now, what do you think? Can you trust him? Me?”

Samantha thought about it, tapping her chin a bit as she did. On the surface, Jack’s mom didn’t seem like she had a lot going on upstairs, but at this point, Triss wasn’t going to assume anything. Sam was Jack’s mom, and Jack was too damn smart for a kid his age.

“I ... think I can,” she said. But before Triss could smile, or say something to encourage her, Sam looked at her, and the heaviness there struck Triss cold. “But, is this whole thing really a good idea? I’ve talked to my daughter, Triss, since she died. Multiple times. And it kills me, every time.”

“This isn’t the same!” Shit. Triss pulled back and winced. She didn’t mean to raise her voice like that, shocking her own damn, idiot self. “I’m not looking to get a glimpse of a ghost, Sam. I want him back.”

“I understand. I do! But ... but Julias would want you to be happy, right? And, I don’t know, you’ve seemed happy.” She smiled a little, and squirmed a bit, obviously entertaining the memory she had of Triss get fingered just a few hours ago. “I mean, I don’t know, I don’t get to see a lot of what the Circle does, but every time I’ve seen you, Triss, you’ve been mingling with Jen, Othello, Aaron, and even Jacob, and you ... seem happy.”