Chapter 21

Did I say thank you?

I think I did, as I got into my car, after first letting in my girl.

We walked into the kitchen, past where all the musical stuff used to be. It was surreal, and so quiet! I was so hopped up from meeting Michael Thomas, I went into the refrigerator to make something to eat.

“Are you hungry again?” my beautiful girl said, lingering beside me.

“After last night’s performance and the phone sex, I have been nothing but hungry, my dear,” I said.

“PHONE SEX?”

She took my phone from my pocket, and found it, “This wasn’t me, Michael. Who did you have phone sex with?”

“When it first started, I figured it was either you or your mother. I was hooked and followed the instructions I was given. Don’t be mad ... please?”

“So, it must have been my mother,” she quickly extrapolated.

“Or my own mother,” I said as casually as I could.

“Michael! Why would you think that?”

I explained the best I could, as I took a bite of my ripped beef sandwich.

She went from upset, to angry, on to giggling as people were coming in the house.

They were all talking about Michael Thomas, with the girls saying how dreamy he was, even Nev and Mom.

I got the two of them by their arms and said, “Excuse me,” to the rest of the group. I am going to handle this conversation both delicately and assertively.

I took them all the way into the formal dining room, setting them down, but I stood standing!

My instincts and spidey sense made me look at my mother first. “Mother, Sarah, Baby ... why did you instigate phone sex last night with me?”

Nevina’s eyebrow raised and my mother blushed full face.

“Did you get back your phone, Nev?”

“Why, yes I did.”

“Check out your anonymous text account, why don’t you?”

Mom couldn’t stop her in time, as my future mother in law was reading thru the messages.

I sat by my mother, and asked, “I love you, and I don’t need to know why you did that, but you really need to focus on your husband, and not your son!”

“You seemed so enamored of Nevina and you flirt so shamelessly, I ... I was jealous of her. That’s why. Don’t hate me for this, please?”

“Hating isn’t in my nature,” I said to them both. “I have April to love, my mother to nurture me, and Nevina to occasionally flirt with.”

That speech got a hug and a kiss from my mom, and a full body hug from my future mother-in-law that was rather exciting for a moment.

“Behave, you two,” I said leaving the room, seeing my fiancée at the door. “What did you hear?”

“Everything, but I still love you, anyway?”

I walked back into the room saying, “Sarah, I would like the option to have April in my room with the door closed ... for obvious reasons?”

First, Nevina said, “You will use protection, won’t you?”

“She is on the pill and we can use condoms as well, if you wish.”

“I approve,” my mom said. “Will you forgive me, Michael?”

“Next time ... jump Dad’s bones. OK?”

********

Our next gig was in a backyard, in Cincinnati, Ohio. Just the ten of us, plus our combo for two hours making $1,500 in the coffers of the LFS. Two days later, back at the LFSCH, it was all 32 of us, to a full house. Our round tables were replaced with what are called drink tables like they use in Vegas and Atlantic City, per Ty. Using them, we could sit 700 people, all paying $75 per person, and it was all people 30 and older.

That was a night, playing our older music, meaning from the 60s, 70s, and 80s.

Our newest members were all my second cousins:

Mark Love – Trumpet - 18
Peter Love – Trumpet - 18
Richard Love – Violin - 20
Lucas Love – Clarinet - 22
Lisa Marie Love – Violin - 23
And
Laura Anne Love – Harp - 25

They all had been in school bands and orchestra, so they didn’t need much rehearsal to be very good. At first they refused being paid, but I insisted on something, so all they wanted was $60 a night in cash, plus a dinner, when possible.

They all lived in Shelbyville, where my dad’s three first cousins settled. The bus was big enough, so we now picked people up, and went to the job all together, or brought them to the LFSCH, as necessary.

With all the horns, and a portable sound system with four speakers, we had a sound like the 70s group Chicago, but with predominantly female voices.

Due to that, after our usual first two songs, Nancy and the horns began, as I approached the microphone...

MICHAEL
(my brothers and the two dads)
As I was walking down
the street one day
A man came up to me and
asked me what the time was
that was on my watch, yeah

Does anybody really
know what time it is (I don’t)
Does anybody really care
(care about time)
If so I can’t imagine why (no, no)
We’ve all got time enough to cry

And I was walking down
the street one day
A pretty lady looked at me
and said her diamond watch
had stopped cold dead
And I said

Does anybody really
know what time it is (I don’t)
Does anybody really care
(care about time)
If so I can’t imagine why (no, no)
We’ve all got time enough to cry

And I was walking down
the street one day
(people runnin’ everywhere)
Being pushed and shoved
by people (don’t know where to go)
Trying to beat the clock, oh,
no I just don’t know
(don’t know where I am)
I don’t know, I don’t know, oh
(don’t have time to think
past the last mile)
(Have no time to look around)
And I said, yes I said
(run around and think why)

Does anybody really
know what time it is (I don’t)
Does anybody really care
(care about time)
If so I can’t imagine why (no, no)
We’ve all got time enough to die

Everybody’s working
(I don’t care)
I don’t care (about time)
About time (no, no)
I don’t care!

It ended cold perfect! The crowd loved us, screaming for more. Next in our set was a song for the six girls, with Nevina singing lead the song made famous by the Shangri-La’s...

(spoken with underscoring))
APRIL: Mm--”Is she really going out with him?
MARY: “Well, there she is, let’s ask her”
APRIL: “Betty, is that Jimmy’s ring you’re wearing?”
NEVINA: “Mm-hmm”
APRIL: “Gee, it must be great riding with him”
MARY: “Is he picking you up after school today?”
NEVINA: “Mm-mm”
ALL: “By the way, where did you meet him?”

NEVINA:
“I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture?

ALL: “Yes, we see”

NEVINA:
That’s why I fell for the
leader of the pack
My folks were always
putting him down
They said he came from
the wrong side of town
They told me he was bad
but I knew he was sad
That’s why I fell for
the leader of the pack

One day my dad said
find someone new
I had to tell my Jimmy we’re through
He stood there and asked me why,
but all I could do was cry
I’m sorry I hurt you,
the leader of the pack

(Spoken)
He sort of smiled
and kissed me good bye
The tears were beginning to show
As he drove away on that rainy night,
I begged him to go slow
whether he heard,
I’ll never know Look out!
Look out! Look out!

(Singing)
I felt so helpless,
what could I do
Remembering all the things
we’d been through?
In school they all
stop and stare
I can’t hide the tears,
but I don’t care
I’ll never forget him,
the leader of the pack

the leader of the pack
now he’s gone
the leader of the pack
now he’s gone
the leader of the pack
now he’s gone...

Despite not having the sound effects, they loved us. After the applause died, they all bowed, and John and Ty came out together to sing a country duet going way back in time...

JOHN
Cowboys ain’t easy to love
and they’re harder to hold
They’d rather give you a song
than diamonds or gold

TY
Lone star belt buckles
and old faded Levis
And each night begins a new day
If you don’t understand him,
and he don’t die young
He’ll probably just ride away

BOTH
Mamas, don’t let your babies
grow up to be cowboys
Don’t let ‘em pick guitars
and drive them old trucks
Make ‘em be doctors
and lawyers and such

Mamas, don’t let your babies
grow up to be cowboys
‘Cause they’ll never stay home
and they’re always alone
Even with someone they love

TY
Cowboys like smoky old pool rooms
and clear mountain mornings
Little warm puppies and
children and girls of the night

JOHN
Them that don’t know him
won’t like him and them that do
Sometimes won’t know
how to take him
He ain’t wrong,
he’s just different
but his pride won’t let him
Do things to make
you think he’s right

BOTH
Mamas, don’t let your babies
grow up to be cowboys
‘Cause they’ll never stay home
and they’re always alone
Even with someone they love

Mamas, don’t let your babies
grow up to be cowboys
‘Cause they’ll never stay home
and they’re always alone
Even with someone they love

With his deep beautiful voice, as the crowd noise came down, Ty said, “We’ll be takin’ a break, back in 15!”

In practically all our outdoor gigs, there was food, and we were typically allowed to partake. However, I never wanted to be presumptuous enough to assume it was OK. To that end, I was always ready for our host to quietly tell us it was all right to eat.

Indeed, the owner of the home, twice the size of ours, with a huge back yard, offered us access to the food. It being the middle of August, they eschewed the fanciness of pulled pork or roast beef on bread. They had good ole barbeque hot dogs, hamburgers, and chicken, with a large cardboard box of a variety of potato chips to choose from.

April and I went to the different foods, and each got a hot dog and a hamburger on a bun, getting a soda from a large trashcan full of slow melting ice. Ooooh, that felt good, as we sat and ate without talking.

I ate quickly, and found and used the bathroom, can came back out to my keyboard. I took a glance at our next hour of music we had, deciding to keep it as is. My love, joined me.

As Martha, our drummer got back in place, we began... (April sat by me, and wasn’t part of this number)

MICHAEL
I was tired of my lady,
we’d been together too long
Like a worn-out recording,
of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping,
I read the paper in bed
And in the personals column,
there was this letter I read

THE LOVE BROTHERS
“If you like Pina Coladas,
and getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga,
if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight,
in the dunes of the cape
I’m the love that you’ve looked for,
write to me, and escape”

MICHAEL
I didn’t think about my lady,
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady,
had fallen into the same
old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper,
took out a personal ad
And though I’m nobody’s poet,
I thought it wasn’t half bad

ALL THE BOYS
“Yes, I like Pina Coladas,
and getting caught in the rain
I’m not much into health food,
I am into champagne
I’ve got to meet you by
tomorrow noon, and
cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O’Malley’s,
where we’ll plan our escape”

MICHAEL
So I waited with high hopes,
then she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant,
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady,
and she said, “Oh, it’s you”
And we laughed for a moment,
and I said, “I never knew!”

ALL THE BOYS
“That you liked Pina Coladas,
and getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean,
and the taste of champagne
If you like making love at midnight,
in the dunes of the cape
You’re the lady that I’ve looked for,
come with me, and escape”

“If you like Pina Coladas,
and getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga,
if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight,
in the dunes of the cape
I’m the love that you’ve looked for,
come with me, and escape

Our songs were sounding so much better with the horns and violins. We’re pretty darn good!

An hour, a break, and a final thirty minutes, and our paid for evening was done.
Something Ty taught me, at the end of the evening, was to say something like,
“We are the Love Family Singers. Thank you for letting us provide you all with a few hours of remembering when songs could be understood and an evening could be fun with others.”

I paused, and, in this instance, our host and hostess came up to ask if we could stay for another hour.

My mother, part of the plan, came over and said, “Our extra hours are $1,000 per, preferably in cash.”

Our couple looked at each other, then he said, “That’s very affordable, don’t you think, Marcie?”

This worked twice before, and once it didn’t.

Marcie paid Ty, and we went for another hour without any more breaks, until we got to the last song of the evening, with just April and I...

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone
that you adore can
Love is all that
I can give to you
Love is more than
just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and
please don’t break it
Love was made
for me and you

Aaron trumpeted a marvelous musical break, showing off!

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone
that you adore can
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and
please don’t break it

Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you

In perfect tempo, I got a kiss on the cheek from my Love!

Fortunately, after the applause lessened, the hosts of the party, started schmoozing the crowd, and we broke our equipment down.

April and I went to thank our host and hostess, with him giving us our check for the first two hours, and Marcie said, “It’s so refreshing to hear the songs from the past in such a modern and new way. We wish you the best of success together.”

I offered my hand, but she kissed me on the cheek.

We caught up to rest of them, and they had been given their money, and we took them home to Shelbytown. They agreed to leave their instruments in the bus, as we reminded them of our next job at the LFSCH in three days.