Chapter 13

Far too early the following morning Suzanne dropped off Andrew at the airport. He would see her in 11 days. She was going to get the train down on the 13^th, the Thursday night and they were going to stay at a hotel for three nights before flying out on the Sunday. They had not talked about the holiday much but didn’t need to, Suzanne had told Andrew to surprise her. Every time he thought of that he smiled. Hmmm.

Work for the final two weeks was busy but stable. Andrew actually had to review some computer files for the first time but they contained nothing pertinent to the investigation. Other than that he was the MIU dogsbody for the rest of the time. He helped Susan a lot, and was shouted at by Inspector Brodie, the work up of the team in West Germany was not going well. Andrew thought Susan was going to miss him by the end of the second week, she hadn’t spoken to Brodie in eight days and knew that come the following Monday morning she was back to suffering his grumpy moods. The most interesting thing Andrew found out during those two weeks was what Lester had whispered to Jamieson that first day at the MIU, and that Jamieson in turn had passed on to Susan. She let it slip quite accidently.

Freya Moray, Andrew’s friend, the lady he was walking down the aisle in less than two weeks was known in the MoD as the Wicked Witch of the North. She had apparently spent the six months since she transferred kicking arses and re-assigning people. And the MoD had some really shitty places to reassign people. Don’t like bugs and insects? Welcome to your two-year tour in Brunei or Belize. Don’t like the cold and wet? The Falkland Islands was always needing staff. They didn’t need to go so far. The highest wind speed ever recorded in the UK was momentarily recorded at the RAF Radar Station at the very north of the Shetland Islands. Why only momentarily? The wind blew the recording device away. There is a reason there are only four trees in the Shetlands and they all lean over. So Freya was ensuring everyone was sitting up straight and doing their homework. Thus her nickname. Andrew was pretty sure she knew although he never mentioned it. Instead he was very proud, it was a man’s world and she waded in and took no prisoners. 20 years of that shit in the Civil Service and she was going to get upset by a name? Of course, what was being passed around was the fact that Andrew was staying with her. He was presumed to be a relative and so Jamieson and then Susan were given a head’s up. Given that Andrew got sent to Colchester, most of the state of North Rhine-Westphalia, Sevenoaks and Kyle of Lochalsh he wondered where they would have sent him if they didn’t know about her. Susan looked horrified when she let the nickname slip but Andrew just shook his head and ignored it. He wasn’t going to laugh or encourage it but wasn’t going to run to teacher either. If they were all scared of her, so much the better. So work wound its way to a conclusion.

On the previous Saturday, after he and Julian had finished at MacPhersons, Andrew had asked Julian to swing by Hailey Knight’s Art Gallery for a few minutes. The reason was twofold. The first was the chance to tell her about the woodworker in Brora, Robert MacNish, that the small individual fund was supporting, him and his two apprentices. Andrew gave her Creighton’s number, asked her to call him and go and see the man on Tuesday. She had looked askance but Andrew explained.

“I had one of the guys doing History of Art at Cambridge with me look at some of the pictures of his pieces. He called them individual pieces of art. I want your opinion as well. The reason I am asking you to go so quickly is that I want you to select a piece for a wedding I am attending. Lord Barnes is a Law Lord and I would like to get him something unique. See what he has available and buy something interesting and unique please. Here is the address to ship it to. What I want you to do is look at the furniture and think if it is appropriate to sell in the Gallery. I am asking not telling. Either way I would like you to also give me your ideas about selling it. Local MPs maybe, Highland Council, corporate offices in Aberdeen, things like that. I am supporting him just the same way that I am supporting the Gallery.

“The second thing is I need you to find something and I am sorry about the last-minute nature of this. I should have thought of this weeks ago. Mrs. Moray, the lady who is marrying Lord Barnes was born in Bergen in Norway. I would like a painting that shows Bergen harbour, a Bergen seascape, something that identifies it as Bergen. That is the other half of my wedding present. Is that possible?”

Hailey was laughing. 28 years old and dealing with her 19-year-old landlord.

“Other than a fortune in phone bills and courier costs I should be able to find something. I will ring round and see who has a contact in either Oslo or Bergen itself. I am guessing Oslo. I am intrigued to go and see this furniture, especially if it is another artist that you are supporting. Do I have a budget?”

“Try and stay under £500 each but I want something really nice, so if it is a little more then so be it. I know the phone bill and shipping will be horrendous. My own fault for leaving this to the last minute.”

They had spoken for a couple more minutes about how well the Gallery was doing. With the Festival and the general tourist season business had been good. Hailey was loving the challenge and had two part-time assistants who were doing exactly the same degree as Justin and Judy but at Edinburgh. They would cover for her while she was up north. Now all Andrew had to hope was that she found something in time.

Given that Maggie was driving the idea of a formal photography business forward, Andrew spent the late summer evenings huddled away in his room, working on the database structure. The core of the program was working well and he was now playing around with the reporting function. He was trying to get it complete before he returned to Edinburgh. Tony and Maggie were going to have to buy a computer to use it though.

But all that was in the future. Friday September 7^th finally arrived and with it Leslie and the Queen concert. When Andrew met Leslie off the Tube she gave him a big hug and they switched platforms and returned back to Green Park. It had just been easier to meet at Earl’s Court. It would have been even easier if Queen were playing there that night but it was up at the Wembley Arena. After a couple of Tubes they were finally in Freya and Jim’s flat. Andrew showed her through to the second guest room.

“Thanks Andrew. Give me two minutes to get changed and then we can chat.”

They sat in the kitchen drinking beer and doing a quick catch up.

“Hailey called Creighton and told him that she had found something from the early 1900s showing Bergen. It was £700 or the equivalent in Krone or Crowns, or whatever the Norwegian currency is. She knows it is above budget but it is a beautiful painting of the town when Freya was there. Hailey thinks she will love it.”

The money was irrelevant. Andrew was just pleased she had found something in time.

“Secondly, according to Creighton she was almost in tears when she saw the furniture, good tears. She agrees with your friend that they are pieces of art and has organised to display several pieces in the Gallery. She also talked to Robert about offering to create whatever a customer wants. Use the pieces as an example and then connect the customer and Robert to create something unique. It is never going to be anything more than tiny volume and niche but they may end up with a couple more apprentices. She has selected something for Jim and it is being shipped here care of you. Both should be here early next week. So that is all taken care of. She is very passionate and loved the chance to meet Robert and see his work.

“I know that Julian gave you the heads up about the Trusts but can we leave that until tomorrow. I am on the 2.30 at Kings Cross so we will have several hours in the morning to talk about it. What I would like to chat about is you and Suzanne. We had dinner last night and she asked me to pass on that Pete has let her know that he is not going to stay there next term. His father is coming this weekend to help move his stuff out. He left a number for his new flat and I figure the two of you would meet up when you are back in Edinburgh.

“Andrew, Suzanne told me that you had asked if she would like to move into the flat. Are you in danger of leading her on?”

Andrew sighed.

“No but probably yes. Look we talked about it. She has acknowledged repeatedly that we have an expiry date. She has even talked about just being my flatmate if things change between us. We are both trying to be all grown-up about it. But I know that it will be an appalling day when things change between us. She is my girlfriend for 10 or 12 weeks a year, when I am back in Edinburgh. We all but live together when I am in Edinburgh. But we have both talked about the day, likely in less than three years when I don’t come back, or much less often. You know I won’t talk about her but you also know how she was both in second and third term. You talk to her a lot.

“We have grown up together, not in the started school on the same day in Primary 1 sense, but in the way that we changed from boy to man and girl to woman. It gets back to the very first time that I ever had sex and Kenzie soundly disabused me of the notion of making love, we were fucking. With Suzanne and I it has gone so far beyond that. Oh I don’t know what I am trying to say, at least without being either crass or indiscreet.

“Look, for the two of us, the other person is who we are most comfortable in bed with. Most honest, most open, but also the most shared experience and history. I can act with her in a way that I can with no other woman. And she is the same way with me. So are we compatible in a sexual sense, of course? On a scale of 1 to 10 we are past 20 and climbing. But we both know it is not enough. She wants your life, not Julian but the person that wants to stay in Edinburgh, stay close to her parents, as she says send her six children to Heriots. See you guys every month. You know, the classic Edinburgh dream. But she also knows that it is not my life. There is no false advertising, false promises. One day I am going to live somewhere else. Hopefully London otherwise I will have two empty houses but somewhere. But am I coming back to Edinburgh? No. Not for her, not for you and Julian, not for Grandma.

“And I know that I should be treating her like Ara. I walked away from Ara at New Year without a backward glance. In the end Ara would have to choose between me and her family. Suzanne is the same but I am weak. I can’t do it twice Leslie, I am only human. It is selfish and it is storing up ever more pain for us both and we both know it. And still.”

“Do you love her?”

Andrew closed his eyes, not to think but to rein in his emotions.

“Yes Leslie I do. I have loved her for a long time. But not enough to change the plan.”

When had Andrew become adamant about not returning to Edinburgh? September 1983 was the logical break point, buying the flat, the run-up to university, the arguments with his parents. The plan had no geographical constraints but he was putting them in place.

It took him until Under Pressure, the fourth song that night before he finally relaxed and got into the gig. For Leslie it was the song before so for most the whole show they were totally into the music. He only saw them once more, next door at the main stadium on their final tour in 1986. They of course had wowed at Live Aid the previous year, and although Leslie and Andrew were miles back from the stage in ‘86 it was the third time they had seen Queen. Freddie Mercury was the ultimate showman, he kept the crowd in the palm of his hand and he was gone far too soon.

Even although the house was quiet and dark when they returned from the gig they sat and chatted in the kitchen for a little while.

“I just hope that you can still be friends with her. I know that you are saying all the right things but I am not sure that becoming flatmates is a sensible thing. Think about this mythical woman that captures your heart. Is she going to want the woman who has been the anchor and core of your sex life living with you. Andrew, I know this sounds stupid but I think you are going to give Suzanne the flat to say sorry, and this is the first step.”

“Leslie, you are probably right. I have no idea, I am sitting here thinking through my feelings and motivations about this. It is Suzanne. As long as I use Edinburgh as my home between terms then we will be a couple. Anything beyond that is borrowing pain forward.”

Andrew lay there that night knowing that Leslie was right but that he was changing nothing. Jim and Freya were in good form the next morning and their enthusiasm jollied them out of their low spirits. Andrew told Jim he would be back by 3.00 and then he and Leslie headed off to get her back to the station. They had hours to kill and based on the head’s up that Julian had given him the weekend before, they would need them.

“Are you still going to come to Edinburgh during the term?”

“Yes, why ever not?”

“You were blunt last night Andrew, that’s all. I suppose I miss having you around. I know that Julian does, maybe even more. You talked about being lonely at Cambridge but it is lonely in Edinburgh as well. The money isolates us. It is one of the reasons that Suzanne and I have become close. I don’t have to be guarded, about anything really. We can talk about you, us, her, everything without having to censor.”

“I know I was blunt yesterday but it is how I feel at present. Is it because of Christmas? Most likely, but we are going through an extreme version of what a lot of families go through as children go to university.”

Andrew stopped and tried to organise his thoughts.

“Look, there are two parts to it. Foremost, I don’t know what I am doing when I graduate, what my career is. For someone who has got used to goals and a plan this is unsettling. I think if I knew what I was working towards then I could adapt some behaviours and this would not feel so jarring. Tied in with that is the feeling of the past being an impediment to the present, never mind the future. I don’t know the motivation for some of my adventures but trying to create new things to talk about rather than go on about things from the past must be part of it. I survived cancer, my best friend is the sister of the girl in the bed next to me who died, I went to the Open University, I have a degree in Computer Science, which I got at 18, I made millions from that with the help of my two best friends, we gave what, 90% of it away. And that is before we get into anything with women, Jim and Freya, my family. That is a lot of baggage.

“Less than half of that is known at Cambridge. But even there I never talk about Addenbrooke’s and I have only told one person about modelling. No one knows about the money or the Computer degree. Both those things would permanently alter how people thought of me. And maybe I am being naïve thinking that I can keep it secret but I am not someone who likes to shout from the rooftops. This summer has been awkward that way.”

Andrew took a deep purging breath.

So tell me about the Trusts.”

Slowly at first Leslie spoke of her sense of being overwhelmed. Worried about making the wrong decision and just feeling that there was not enough time in the day.

“This is mostly the Endowment Fund, yes?”

“All of this ties through to that Fund Andrew. The first year getting set up with the Imperial Cancer Research Fund will be busy but I want it to be easy for them as well. We have to generate the returns to give to them and they have to give us a list of research or projects that they want to fund. We meet once a year and get an update. That’s it. They don’t need to have a whole lot of extra admin because of us. Hell they could come to us this autumn and say they want to fund a study and research into childhood leukemia and that it is likely to be a 10-year commitment. We would need to think for less than a second to say okay and we are done. Then it is up to me, to us, to generate the returns and fund it. Sure there will be more to it than that but we aren’t going to second guess them, we are going to hand them the money, stand back and hope that their brilliance has a breakthrough.

“High return, low volume, important, daunting but manageable. The Endowment Trust however, is the exact opposite. Lots of lower amounts, higher volume, equally important, and doesn’t feel manageable. There is no point in trying to determine what is more important. For someone without a job, this trust is more important than curing cancer, especially if it has not hit their family. For you and I, and Julian, the medical research trust will always be closer to our heart.

“But Andrew, the sense of wanting to do something, trying to make a difference, that has grown. The Endowment Trust is important. Hell, we got more than £2m from people we don’t know because of what we are trying to do. I am just struggling with the volume, the fact there is other people’s money as well as our own, there doesn’t seem to be enough time. So we need help but we have to talk about the expense of that.

“If we hire people it is an expense of the Trust and reduces the amount that we can invest. If we want the Fund to be self-sustaining then it is one more hurdle that we have to clear. But I do think that we need to bring in some help otherwise it is going to fail and we will have set up an unnecessary and wasteful way to give charity, just as Doug said. So I wanted to know your thoughts in advance of the meetings in two weeks.”

They walked round the Outer Circle of Regent’s Park as Andrew thought about Leslie’s concerns, going through some of the things he had been considering, as well as a new one that came to him as they were talking.

“Julian gave me the head’s up last weekend so that I could have a chance to think about it. I was going round in circles thinking about this last week. But you talked to me about Robert up in Brora yesterday. It has triggered something. When Mhairi came to visit in November last year she left the proposal files for me to review. When I saw his furniture I took the photos and went and talked to Justin. He was one of the guys on the corridor, two doors down, and is doing History of Art. I asked him for his opinion and it was him that got me thinking about them as art. But what he also gave me was the idea for the apprentices, the people who can cut, assemble, varnish, pack, do lots of things round the edge of the process and let Robert do more of the design, the modelling, creating the piece. Why don’t we do that here. Hire a couple of trainees and get them to work for us for, I don’t know, two years, something like that. Make the process of managing all these investments an investment in itself. Let’s talk to Doug about the training in the investment industry, is there something that people can sign up to do? Mhairi had to article after her degree, Creighton has some accounting qualification on top of his degree, maybe there is something that we can do with that.”

Leslie thought about it, quietly pondering the pros and cons in her head.

“I think that is a great way to look at it. But does it not feel like we are setting up a small investment firm? That is what is giving me pause for thought. I had assumed that I would run Faith’s Trust but less than 30 minutes ago I tried to make that as straightforward and low impact as possible. I just realised that this is my job, and it is making me stop and think. I am not saying no, but it has caught me by surprise. Your idea of doing something, trying to help, which as with the computer company became the three of our shared goal, suddenly is my career, or it could be.”

She blew out her cheeks in a manner that reminded Andrew of all the times he had done the same thing.

“What do you say when you do something that feels right, that restores some of your karmic balance? It is like a weight off your shoulders that you didn’t know was there? This feels like that. We are going to be three involved and knowledgeable Trustees on Faith’s Trust but my job, my career is as a fund manager, managing the Endowment Trust. We don’t take the public’s retirement money, and we have different goals and guidelines, but I am going to join Edinburgh’s investment community.”